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Seriously, that post tore him apart. He never would've worked in this town again. If he would have read it. Which he wouldn't have.
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That's what is driving me crazy here: if we let the slight hint of frustration get through, they seize on it to shout about how mean we all are. Meanwhile, they're descending on to every thread they can find and dragging the discourse into the gutter as fast as possible because they know that will inevitably cause the moderation team to nuke it.
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I'm in a weird state of peace with it. It looks like moderation is overwhelmingly cracking down on the "haha you're all dumb for caring" posts, so probably the best thing to do is flag those and email the mods about posters who keep doing it.
They don't like permabans, but "banned for a month" still gets these creeps away from the discourse.
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Every time I think about coming back to the forums again I wind up hearing about how messed up things are here, and it just makes me sad :(
That said, it gives me a lot of hope to see y'all out and about on the forums and trying to preserve some semblance of civility here. I don't envy you one bit, but I seriously appreciate you all the same <3
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Every time I think about coming back to the forums again I wind up hearing about how messed up things are here, and it just makes me sad :(
That said, it gives me a lot of hope to see y'all out and about on the forums and trying to preserve some semblance of civility here. I don't envy you one bit, but I seriously appreciate you all the same <3
Hey there!!!
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It takes so, so much effort to not just PM some of these people "pig poop balls" (this is an image of exactly what you think it is, if you're not familiar; classic 'image to send chuds on twitter'). The nerve of some of these people.
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You know, even putting aside outright bans, I bet some of these people would get very quiet very quickly if they were expected to apologize to the folk they were abusive to every time they got moderated.
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God, right? In a certain argument I was involved in yesterday I nearly demanded one, lmao. Probably should have but I bet there would have just been more diatribes.
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The one of whom you speak doesn't seem to do apologies. He's too rational.
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Touting facts and logic while sitting on the fence so badly it's poking holes in him.
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God, I'm realizing that vagueposting is so much better than directly engaging with them. It's criticizing the behavior while refusing to give the perpetrators of the behavior any attention.
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... did they just delete Rysky's thread? Why would they ever do that?
I'm not assuming the worst--it may have been a misclick or something--but I'm about to shoot them an email when I finish breakfast.
Transphobic as a term is pretty much inseparable from the person. The word implies a state of mind and motivation by the person.
Okay. So.
No. No, it isn't, and no, it doesn't.
You are using a definition of the word "transphobic" that none of the trans people here use.
I am reluctant to even engage with you on this, because I am half-expecting you to try to even argue that, like, getting out a dictionary and lecturing us on what the word "really means", as if practical usage isn't what defines any word's meaning. I am not going to take that kind of attempt seriously, and nobody else here should, either.
I have had issues with your confidence in explaining antisemitism to Jewish posters and transphobia to trans posters, but right now you are attempting to lecture trans people about the literal definition of a word for the thing you have never in your life been targeted by. It is a word we use, a word trans communities essentially created. And you are using it wrong.
Stop it.
You are crossing a line.
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I don't know, but I was trying to post to it as well, and it was about how we sometimes don't know words, and it is painful when we have those words (which were taught to us by a family member) attacked and we don't know why they're being attacked.
This is not something new.
It's not 'woke' culture.
My grandmother taught me some HORRIBLE words in relation to things when I was growing up, and I was at a grocery store with my mom (my aunt was working in the produce section).
I commented on a particular food product using the term my grandmother had used.
One could have heard the pin drop from halfway across the store.
"WHAT did you just say?"
"*redacted*"
I didn't know what was wrong, I was very young and using the term that I THOUGHT was okay.
So I repeated myself.
When I got home -- and that trip home from shopping was downright glacial .
And then my mom explained to me at length why it was bad, why it shouldn't be used, and how to be a better person.
When people attempt to do the same for things like transphobia or the like, that initial reaction occurs (it seems) but when folks attempt to step to education, the education gets attacked.
How can there be education if it feels like no one wants to learn?
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Okay, sounds like the deletion may have been an accident, or someone acting recklessly. I'll accept that, cautiously. I barely got my post edit in before that other thread got locked, haha.
I can't believe that dude seriously tried to educate us on what "transphobic" meant. Like, wow.
I'm just worried the poster was using posts as a vehicle to attack the site now.
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I can't believe we haven't at least seen some tempbans issued.
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Hopefully the act of willfully ignoring all calls to stop and disregarding the current convo just to post insane rhetoric will be enough to push it over the edge? who knows.
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Im freaking out.
Im freaking out.
...this ended up in the wrong thread. Sorry folks.
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I've had to explain to people that a phobia isn't necessarily a fear. It can be an aversion to something. It can also have varying degrees. People don't want to be educated on terminology though. They want to be offended and they want to be defiant. They want to tell those who are marginalized that we shouldn't be. That we need to have thicker skins. That we are the ones who are in the wrong.
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I've had to explain to people that a phobia isn't necessarily a fear. It can be an aversion to something. It can also have varying degrees. People don't want to be educated on terminology though. They want to be offended and they want to be defiant. They want to tell those who are marginalized that we shouldn't be. That we need to have thicker skins. That we are the ones who are in the wrong.
I have encountered this before. There seems to be a subset of people who get angry when called out on being phobic of something, associate it with being scared, associate being scared with being weak, and then overcompensate.
It's also weird because I grew up with people who took pride in their hatred and were upset with it being associated with fear.
Those who are fear'd, are hated.
-- Poor Richard's Almanack, 1744
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Now I know that if I see some specific posters, whose aliases have become recently pretty infamous, favoriting one of my posts, I will go and reread it, or just delete it, or apologize deeply for it because those posters felt I was endorsing their hateful views in some way.
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Why won't they just ban them?
I am falling apart.
And real life is torturing me as well.
What in all the hells is wrong with the Paizo moderators that they won't just ban the transphobes?
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I'm so sorry, Umbral. I don't know. I don't blame Heather and the main group one bit--I think it's a combination of bad recordkeeping (a lot of s&+@ goes down on the weekends, where only Tonya is around) and them trying to be "fair".
This never should have been up for debate. None of it. Not just the trans stuff--none of this was worth debating, and it's just given extra nooks and crannies for the transphobes and reactionaries to hide behind.
Please please take care, Umbral. We appreciate you immensely.
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They're all such pathetic, disgusting worms. They add absolutely nothing to this community except maybe sometimes throwing 30 bucks to Paizo for a book.
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I just got an email retracting the formerly assured approval for my surgery, so life is a hailstorm of torment right now.
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This has all been miserable. Thanks to everyone down in the muck with these replies.
I do wish they would ban people who cross the line dozens of times.
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My only concern with that is that we'd see folks who are legitimately outspoken looking out for people ALSO get banned "Because it's only fair".
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It's funny how when we say, "Some issues, like Trans Women Are Women, aren't debatable", what they see is an invitation to start an in-the-weeds argument about, sure, Trans Women Are Women isn't debatable, but some issues are. You know, vague, unspecified other issues.
I swear, some cis dudes just get scared when they don't actually have anything to contribute, so they just make junk up.
hopefully those two weeks turn in to like 2 years, or perhaps "forever".
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If I can just pop in here with reassurance for a sec as a cis guy with a husband: the actions (or lack thereof) taken against the worst people on these boards do not necessarily reflect the majority opinions of Paizo staff. Transphobes can [parody redacted in Minecraft] forever.
Love y'all. We're doing what we can. We're exhausted too.
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I understand. Thanks Alex. Loved the pics you posted in the Foundry Community discord!
I just wish there was more being done. I understand CS is living in hell right now but, man.