A lot of you guys have issues with me, and I don't really know, for the most part, what they are. That's more a problem with me that it is one with you. To be frank, I suck at reading how people feel and what effects my actions have on people, and that's face to face. Online, it's worse. Where my behavior gets irritating may be obvious to you, but it isn't to me. With all do respect, I would appreciate an explanation. It's not that I do or do not think your gripes are justified, it's that I don't fully understand what they are and how I created these gripes. I want to understand this so that I can see where I go wrong and try to go right. To be frank, I need your guy's help to be a better member of the community than I currently am, and I could use your constructive criticism to point out where and how I act like a b#%~@.
RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32
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Worry less about others opinions and be true to yourself. My only complaint is that you seem unfocused and just post randomly whatever seems to be in your head at that exact moment. Do a little research on your own and rely less on others. You do have good and interesting ideas, you just need to flesh them out more on your own and worry less about the court of public opinion.
P.S. Less aliases. Pretty please with flumphs on top?
I don't exactly read through every post in every thread on here, but I've never seen you do anything to garner hostility like the anti-Kelsey MacAlibert thread that was on here a while back. You have a lot of exuberance, but that's not really a bad thing.
Thomas has some good advice there. You can't get too caught up in what others think about you.
Actually, the Anti-Kelsey thread was probably one of the main things, since I posted it myself for pathetic and selfish reasons. However, I wasn't particularly popular before that. I know I did something to warrant this. I don't doubt that I am responsible for my reputation. My issue is that I can't understand which actions are the ones making people dislike me, and I need to.
I get being myself to a point, but I view myself as a very flawed individual with a lot of room for improvement, and I'm asking for help with this. I think that I need people to throw my faults in my face, because I can't see them otherwise.
Taking unyielding stances with controversial opinions might be one part of it. You're not the only one guilty of that.
Having controversial opinions is not bad. Fighting against the rest of the forumites as if your opinion is the spear that will pierce the heavens does not make any friends.
There was an anti-Mama Kelsey thread?!? Where?
Anyway, I don't know who you're butting heads against these days, but: you have two options.
#1) Adjust your posting behavior. I don't have any advice on how to do that, however.
#2) Grow a thicker skin.
Also, don't worry 'bout a thing. The FAWTL Refugees got your back! (Although you should always wish BT a good day; it's just good manners.)
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Try not to be so self-loathing. We all have our flaws. That's what makes us individuals. Changing who you are to make random strangers on a message board like you better isn't going to make you happy. Think what you want to think, feel how you want to feel, and if someone doesn't like it let them deal with it. Just be polite and treat others with respect. That's all you really need to do, and if that isn't enough for them, nothing else you do will be either.
Sorry Hon, but starting threads about yourself is just asking for trouble. Just saying.
If you disagree with someone your refutation tends to take the form of a mocking strawman. It shows that you either do not understand the point the other person has made or you refuse to grant it legitimacy. It completely sidesteps evidence, points, and rationale that go into a conversation.
There's a fine line between giving a refutation with snark and using snark as the refutation.
I haven't seen this in a while though. So it could have been a bad week or something.
on a forum where there can be a 30-page arguement about AM BARBARIAN as a viable build, and you're asking why people take exeption to you? it's because you don't fit into their world view, or their rules interperatations, or they've just been having a bad day, ot they're feeling arguementative, or any of a dozen other reasons.
if it makes you feel any better i genuinely like you and enjoy reading your opinions even when we disagree... actually, especially when we disagree. as a general rule you and others here point out weaknesses in my arguements and help me to adjust my opinions accordingly, at least when i'm not being too pigheaded to realise i'm wrong.
that said, when you troll and the like that can turn people against you, so be aware of that when you don't want people to cut you down.
I definitely missed something.
But then, I'm still reconciling PG-13 versus spoilering NSFW stuff, so I'm probably the wrong bloke to ask.
No issues with me either, and I don't get the impression that there is so many people out to get Kelsey. The self inflicted hate thread sputtered out : as I recall nobody took the bait, all posts (except the OP) were pro Kelsey.
@Kelsey : I don't always agree with your opinions (I do, most of the time), but that's life, and the joy of argument. But it seems to me that seeking again and again the approval of complete strangers on a forum is not the sign of a strong self confidence : maybe you should work on that (or I am completely mistaken. It's hard to say from this side of my keyboard). I wish you the best.
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I definitely missed something.
But then, I'm still reconciling PG-13 versus spoilering NSFW stuff, so I'm probably the wrong bloke to ask.
LOL
I know from past dealings, that you and I both have an absoutely filthy and evil sense of humour, which sometimes gives the Postmonster a coronary.
On the few occasions I have a post removed, I'm all "What!? No WAY!...SRSLY?", since it's stuff that would barely raise an eyebrow over this side of the pond.
It's a cliche that humour doesn't always travel well, and it's also a cliche that Americans are incapable of understanding satire/parody/irony/understatement. A cliche that I usually dispute, having plenty of well-written US shows as evidence that there are intelligent audiences out there.
But then, you see news like Stephen Colbert being invited as guest speaker at a Republican event, and getting a round of applause, and my mind just goes spinning. How f***ing THICK does someone have to be, not to realise that's a parody?
I see the level of utterly oblivious literal-mindedness on forums, people so eager for a fight, that they assume every tangential comment that references their post, or even appears near it, is a personal attack aimed at them.
There are people so incapable of reading comprehension, that they start a fight with the person who quoted their post to AGREE with them.
You could try to avoid this by adding '+1000', or 'I totally agree with the above poster', but it is rather sad that that level of ass-covering is necessary.
[sarcasm]Your an asshat, stop being an asshat and we'll be cool.[/sarcasm]
Ain't got no problems with ya.
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Because, one time, there was this turtle with a painting of five nekkid fairies on its shell, and then it wandered into . . .
Wait, what?
Yer doin' just fine, Miss K. Some folks just get their undies in a twist over anything that even slightly violates their happy little universe. Can't let it get to you.
I've personally enjoyed all of your posts, whether I agreed with them or not. It's good to have diverse opinions; proves we're not all robots. There are a few regular forum members with whom I completely disagree, and even a few that make me say "dear, sweet Jeepus, I hope I never play in one of their games," but I still value their perspective.
Your perspective is very much appreciated by this twisted, villainous soul, and don't you let none o' them haters make ya feel like anything less than awesome! You might not be the right brand of awesome for them, but that doesn't mean you're not awesome!
I think having too many aliases does not help the problem once people figure out it is you it just magnifies the problem.
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Some folks may have an excessive zeal about a certain topic and it shows. But sometimes if other folks may wish to no-longer engage in a topic, you need to respect their wishes and let it go.
A good example would be your obsession about paladins and alignment restrictions. At one point, it was bordering on excessively beating a dead horse in competition to the frequency that Dr. Ruth Westheimer would utter penis inside of a minute. ;-)
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But then, you see news like Stephen Colbert being invited as guest speaker at a Republican event, and getting a round of applause, and my mind just goes spinning. How f***ing THICK does someone have to be, not to realise that's a parody?
My wife is German. One of the first things she commented on to me was how Americans never coordinate their applause. In Germany, she explained, the audience adjusts until everyone ends up clapping in unison, and it's done to show increased appreciation for the performance. That, and standing ovations are rare, as opposed to pretty much a given in the US.
Sometimes humor travels poorly, sometimes applause travels poorly.
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"The British find their humor in the drawing room, the French in the bedroom and the Germans in the bathroom."
I don't remember where that comes from, but it makes me go Hee hee!
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I think having too many aliases does not help the problem once people figure out it is you it just magnifies the problem.
Kelsey's aliases have never been a problem... You want to know who someone is, you hover over their name. You don't even need to click. It's automatic for me. Heck, Kelsey's aliases tend to share the same avatar and have similar styles. I doubt she's hiding behind them.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure she's trying to find the name she likes best, although I would've thought she'd've given it up since she dubbed herself "Mama Kelsey".
It's a bad-ass name.
Hey, hey, IVV, haven't seen you over in the Books thread for a while. Whatcha readin'?
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I'd probably like you more if you sent me money, but that's about it.
No time to read! Aaargh!
Actually, I can think of ways in which not having time to read might be cool, but I'm guessing from your post that this is not the case. :(
[Goes away to look up 1Q84]
I'd probably like you more if you sent me money, but that's about it.
It's all about the money with you huh?
Oh, and sorry for the threadjack
I think this thread needs to be jacked. Mama Kelsey needs to toughen up.
EDIT: And I'm going to start by trolling her about grammar.
"What are your guy's problems with me?"?!? What f*~%ing language is that?
I don't have a problem with you...
Am I one of the "you guy's" you're refering to...?
I've no problems with you. In fact I like you and your ideas.
You are all over the place and the more ubiquitous you become the more likely someone is going to butt heads with you. I mean, look how many haters deities wind up with. Don't worry about them though, because there are people that actually like you.
I guess it's a matter of perception. I do perceive that people have issues with me and that it is because of how I act, and I don't like it. I seek approval, not fights. Fighting is fun at first, but it gets tiring quickly. I want people to help me avoid that.
...Maybe this whole thread is one of my issues. Does it seem like attention whoring?
A bit.
...Maybe this whole thread is one of my issues. Does it seem like attention whoring?
Not any more than my "Doodlebug Anklebiter Is the Bee's Knees" thread.
Well not everyone can be the wise and powerful TOZ. If he has any dissenters they will rarely speak out against for fear of his god powers.
Let's check that perception.
Kelsey, what is my problem with you?
Uh... none?
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I guess it's a matter of perception. I do perceive that people have issues with me and that it is because of how I act, and I don't like it. I seek approval, not fights. Fighting is fun at first, but it gets tiring quickly. I want people to help me avoid that.
...Maybe this whole thread is one of my issues. Does it seem like attention whoring?
I've never heard of you. Can we talk about me instead?
*hugs Kelsey* You can can't me as a friend even though I'm just a mysterious ghost :p
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It's because you are reading my mind! Stop it! Stop it now!!! Dang it, you are NOT supposed to get into an illithid's mind, they are supposed to get into yours ... or your brain at any rate ... ;)
Actually, no issues with you (but when you first showed up on the scene, you did post up some stuff that I had been bouncing around in my head ... it really was kinda freaky ...).
It's the wee, beady eyes.
and the chicken ya crave fortnightly. :)
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Uh... none?Let's check that perception.
Kelsey, what is my problem with you?
Great, so that's all correct. You're right, I think you're fine.
You mentioned that you seek approval. Perhaps the advice to "grow a thicker skin" might help.
I remember the first time we spoke, it was about you having problems with GMing a group. We determined that the problem was the players running roughshod over you, because you wanted their approval to the point that you were fully willing to destroy your own happiness to get that approval. It got to the point that they withheld their approval until you agreed to be miserable, and anything less was unacceptable. So, yes, extraordinary effort to win approval has been a theme.
Part of the issue is understanding why people fight. Sometimes, it is because people like to fight. They'll read something, and disagree with it, regardless of the argument. When you find that, just avoid it. Sometimes, it's because someone else has a different belief. Here's where discussion is good, and learning about other people's beliefs is very valuable.
Note that I didn't say that after the discussion, everyone shares the same beliefs. That's because that's not what happens. Most of the time, that shouldn't happen. Both sides should keep their differing beliefs, but their beliefs become more informed. If one side changes its mind, it will be because of the new information and that side's own reasoning, not because of the forcing of one will upon another.
What this means is that disagreements will remain, and approval will not be reached. Furthermore, the lack of approval is actually healthy.
So, I'm not recommending you find a way to achieve approval. I recommend you find a way to accept whatever it is you believe, and not be willing to simply (and stressfully) abandon your belief when someone else challenges it. Because if you feel too much stress when someone else believes differently from you, you find the only way to agree is to betray yourself.
And then, when the predators find someone willing to destroy themselves when asked, they will not hesitate to revel in it. Just like that batch of players did.
I guess it's a matter of perception. I do perceive that people have issues with me and that it is because of how I act, and I don't like it. I seek approval, not fights.
[yoda]Do not seek. What you seek cannot be found. Rather, be.[/yoda]
If you require something from others to be happy, you cannot control your own happiness.
Strive to be what you wish, not what others wish of you.
At least, that's what my fortune cookie said.
Unity isn't tolerance. Just because someone doesn't want to do what you do doesn't mean that want to stop you.
That said there are a number of people that feel gaming is a hivemind and if you try to deviate from the path that you're trying to take command of the entire gaming community. Best thing to do is just ignore them.
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Since when does anyone have anything against you? I don't think I've ever heard anyone say anything negative about you, rather just disagreements with your opinion or candor.
The only thing I have against you is your posting these types of threads to throw a pity party for yourself. Stop that.
#2) Grow a thicker skin.
Also, this times a thousand.
Seriously, I have no illusions that most people here probably have a negative perception of me. Meh. I think most of my RL friends secretly hate me. S'all good.
The only thing I have against you is your posting these types of threads to throw a pity party for yourself. Stop that.
With all do respect, this isn't a pity party, it's asking for help recognizing my annoying habits. I don't want to be told I'm fine, I want to be told what I do wrong.
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You worry about what other people think and start threads that are pity parties. (Sorry, I liked that phrase.)