Dad Responds To His Daughter's Facebook Rant

[thejeff]

Leafar the Lost wrote:

Once again, my Acolyte has shown true wisdom. This father's daughter needs to know her place. This episode will make it more difficult for him to find her a husband one day...

And for those trying to argue that this is just a moderate position, meaning only that parent's should be in charge of their kid's, perhaps this was far enough over the top to convince you.

I mean, Leafar's obviously just trolling, but it's scary when people start seriously arguing for the troll's position.

[Kryzbyn]

Snarkifying peoples points into absurdity is not the same as refuting them. If that's what I'm to be convinced of, you got me.

[LazarX]

The easy answer would be that some serious family counseling is needed here.

The hard and complex truth is that such counseling would be a dead avenue unless everyone committed themselves to getting on board with working out this family's significant problems.

[Hitdice]

Late to the thread, but my 2cp:

Daughter is upset with father, rants on the internet; father is upset with daughter, rants on the internet and shoots laptop.

I don't see how this makes her the worst daughter ever while confirming his position as father of the year, but it does give me hope that we'll someday isolate the over-reaction gene.

[Ambrosia Slaad]

Leafar the Lost wrote:

Once again, my Acolyte has shown true wisdom. This father's daughter needs to know her place. This episode will make it more difficult for him to find her a husband one day...

This episode will make it more difficult for him to find himself a husband one day...

Yes, I know the father is not gay. But I don't think Leafar should have an exclusive on absurdity in this thread.

[Chris Lambertz]

Okay, I went through this whole thread and removed quite a bit of needless crazy. Please, read the messageboard rules and consider them before you post.

[Kirth Gersen]

Showed Mrs Gersen the video last night and asked her opinion. She loved the dude! Then again, she has no tolerance for the types of catty nastiness and constant melodrama that teen girls sometimes get into.

[lastknightleft]

Belle Mythix wrote:

Abraham spalding wrote:

Yeah I'm seeing this as an overreach by the father involved. Now granted her rant was probably excessive, biased, and filled with profanity. However blowing a hole through her computer isn't going to teach her to respect anyone, or change her opinion. It might teach her that firearms are a great way to solve interpersonal problems, and how to be a passive aggressive jerk, but not how to solve problems with any degree of success.

.

.
Gotta agree, I hope the guy knows he should keep that gun out of his daughter's reach.

That's what causes gun problems, trying to "keep them out of the kids reach." If you have a gun in the house then your kids need to know how to use them, to tell if they're loaded, proper safety, and the consequences of irresponsible behavior with a gun. Keeping a gun out of their reach and making it some taboo thing is more likely to lead to an incident than if the kid did have common access to it.

[lastknightleft]

LazarX wrote:

The easy answer would be that some serious family counseling is needed here.

The hard and complex truth is that such counseling would be a dead avenue unless everyone committed themselves to getting on board with working out this family's significant problems.

Or we could accept that there aren't any problems to which counseling is needed. This is just a dad punishing his daughter in a public manner. The family isn't at some crisis point, he didn't do anything crazy, and the matter is resolved.

[Freehold DM]

If you don't think this is crazy, I'd like to see your sanity yardstick. It's certainly not normal, at the very least. As I mentioned before, scope and frequency are important factors here, as well as a look at some of the things he didn't go into in either of his responses.

lastknightleft wrote:

LazarX wrote:

The easy answer would be that some serious family counseling is needed here.

The hard and complex truth is that such counseling would be a dead avenue unless everyone committed themselves to getting on board with working out this family's significant problems.

Or we could accept that there aren't any problems to which counseling is needed. This is just a dad punishing his daughter in a public manner. The family isn't at some crisis point, he didn't do anything crazy, and the matter is resolved.

[lastknightleft]

Freehold DM wrote:

If you don't think this is crazy, I'd like to see your sanity yardstick. It's certainly not normal, at the very least. As I mentioned before, scope and frequency are important factors here, as well as a look at some of the things he didn't go into in either of his responses.

Pretty dang good yardstick, and actually, I don't think this is that unusual, when I was a kid my dad cut the power cord to my videogame system that he bought and paid for. I know other adults now who's parents broke the stuff that they had previously bought them when they misbehaved. Kids can behave spoiled and entitled and parents can show tough love by breaking some object that represents that, be it running over a computer with a car, cutting the power cord (back in the day when the cord wasn't removable), throwing an electronic in a lake or toilet, or just taking it away and accidentally loosing it. (all of which I've known people who've experienced from their parents). Shooting it is just another method.

And it's not like this was a single incident where the kid made the mistake once and the dad reacted like that in front of her screaming and pulling out a gun and blowing away the computer she's three feet away from. He made a threat when she was punished the last time she did the same thing and he followed through with what he said. no different than my mom threatening to spank me if I didn't behave and then spanking me when I didn't behave. He's clearly from a rural community that isn't uncomfortable around firearm use, he'll I'm pretty sure I've heard that threat from mine and other parents before (if you do it again I'm going to put a bullet through it), I grew up in an area where everyone had guns in the house. I'm a well adjusted adult in a loving committed relationship and as I said, my wife and I both think that the father was not only in the right but an example of good parenting.

I think the people perturbed by this grew up in an environment where guns weren't a common everyday thing around the house. To me and people who grew up in a hunting environment, I just don't think it seems like such a big deal that "oh he shot it, what a violent and crazy gesture" more like "whelp, now he has to recover the shell casings and refill the bullets.

[Deiros]

Kirth Gersen wrote:

Something I'm not clear on -- this father talks a lot about how his daughter has to work to earn the money for her expensive gadgets. Is the laptop one of those? In other words, did the daughter work to earn money, then use that money to buy said laptop, and then her dad takes the laptop and destroys it (on the order of theft and destruction of private property)? Or is this a laptop that her dad gave to her, so he's totally justified in taking it awaya nd doing whatever else he wanted with it? That would sort of make a difference to me.

The father bought the laptop for her and spend money and time on it to get rewarded by the nice post.

I like how people take things out of proportion and take stuff to the edge.

I agree with the public humiliation, the gun fired could have been resolved differently (sledgehammer or drive your car over it, or something else less flashy maybe).

If we all go to the extreme of things, this will turn into a ridiculous back and forward argument were everyone will come up with a case (extreme one) to probe their point.

So just express your very valuable opinion, but don't go assuming things that you don't know if they are true and just figure that is what is going to happen because that is how usually problems start.

This looks like the contraception debate I had a week ago, which was in itself not very interesting, as I only gave my opinion heard the rest and then decided to just walk away before I started to think of my self like I have nothing better to do but assume and bicker about things.

[Kryzbyn]

The only reason people are concerned about this is because a firearm is involved, honestly. Had he done the same exact thing, but with something other than a firearm (taken it away, threw it into a lake, etc), there would be no backlash.

It's irrational.

EDIT: Err pretty much that last bit that Lastknightleft said.

[Freehold DM]

It pains me to agree to disagree here, but it seems to be where we will have to leave it. Again, I will point out a lot is being accepted at face value here, and we continue to belabor with only one side of the story. Also, cutting power cords are a world away from video taping yourself shooting something and uploading it to the Internet and sensing it to various parties.

lastknightleft wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

If you don't think this is crazy, I'd like to see your sanity yardstick. It's certainly not normal, at the very least. As I mentioned before, scope and frequency are important factors here, as well as a look at some of the things he didn't go into in either of his responses.

Pretty dang good yardstick, and actually, I don't think this is that unusual, when I was a kid my dad cut the power cord to my videogame system that he bought and paid for. I know other adults now who's parents broke the stuff that they had previously bought them when they misbehaved. Kids can behave spoiled and entitled and parents can show tough love by breaking some object that represents that, be it running over a computer with a car, cutting the power cord (back in the day when the cord wasn't removable), throwing an electronic in a lake or toilet, or just taking it away and accidentally loosing it. (all of which I've known people who've experienced from their parents). Shooting it is just another method.

And it's not like this was a single incident where the kid made the mistake once and the dad reacted like that in front of her screaming and pulling out a gun and blowing away the computer she's three feet away from. He made a threat when she was punished the last time she did the same thing and he followed through with what he said. no different than my mom threatening to spank me if I didn't behave and then spanking me when I didn't behave. He's clearly from a rural community that isn't uncomfortable around firearm use, he'll I'm pretty sure I've heard that threat from mine and other parents before (if you do it again I'm going to put a bullet through it), I grew up in an area where everyone had guns in the house. I'm a well adjusted adult in a loving committed relationship and as I said, my wife and I both think that the father was not only in the right but an example of good parenting.

I think the people perturbed by this grew up in an environment where guns weren't a common everyday thing...

[A highly regarded expert]

Kryzbyn wrote:

The only reason people are concerned about this is because a firearm is involved, honestly. Had he done the same exact thing, but with something other than a firearm (taken it away, threw it into a lake, etc), there would be no backlash.

It's irrational.

EDIT: Err pretty much that last bit that Lastknightleft said.

Not really. Yeah, shooting it is beyond stupid. Destroying it in any fashion demonstrates what a moron that rube truly is.

What a swaggering, drooling, subhuman fool.

[A highly regarded expert]

lastknightleft wrote:

I think the people perturbed by this grew up in an environment where guns weren't a common everyday thing...

I grew up around guns, and believe me, nobody was stupid enough to do what that idiot did.

He's a disgrace, with serious mental problems if that's what he calls "parenting."

[Ragnarok Aeon]

While I shake my head at him wasting bullets and a laptop, what really baffles me is that he put it on Youtube. There's a lot of people who say that younger people shouldn't use the internet, but he's an example of why some people wish older people wouldn't use the internet. (He's not even that old, but come on! Putting a video of shooting your daughter's laptop on youtube. You should not be surprised that it got so much publicity. Shame on you mister "I have a background in ITT")

Also if he found out through his dog's facebook, why did he mention his ITT background? Why was he checking his dog's facebook on his daughter's laptop? There are so many holes in the story, that it almost seems like a cheap trick to gain internet fame.

Other holes include the fact that he mentions wasting over $100 bucks on security programs (don't people usually get the family plans to cover multiple computers, and being of the ITT background couldn't he get some deals?) yet the cost of the laptop is completely negligible.

[thejeff]

Nah, honestly it's not the shooting the laptop, though that's kind of stupid. No more stupid really than breaking it with a hammer or cutting a cord or whatever.

It's responding to her immature semi-public rant with an immature semi-public rant to show her that immature semi-public rants are bad.
And then it goes viral and now far more people think that either he or his daughter or both are idiots than ever would have heard of them if he'd dealt with this better.

[spalding]

Deiros wrote:

The father bought the laptop for her and spend money and time on it to get rewarded by the nice post.

I like how people take things out of proportion and take stuff to the edge.

I think this sentiment sums it all up pretty well.

For me what the father did was every bit as much taking things out of proportion and taking stuff to the edge.

With that said he also didn't beat his daughter within an inch of her life either. I don't think he solved the problem or showed much maturity in his handling of the matter. I think he reacted exactly like she would have and I doubt he will see how his own actions help model the behavior he doesn't like to her.

He could have done a lot worse however and was within the realm of 'that's just his way of parenting' in my opinion. I think it's not the best way (or even a good way) but it is certainly not the worse way either.

Also what Jeff just said pretty much sums up the rest of it for me. It wasn't the shooting the labtop, or grounding her or whatever -- it was the stupid level of melodrama he had to have with it.

[Moorluck]

Freehold DM wrote:

If you don't think this is crazy, I'd like to see your sanity yardstick. It's certainly not normal, at the very least. As I mentioned before, scope and frequency are important factors here, as well as a look at some of the things he didn't go into in either of his responses.

lastknightleft wrote:

LazarX wrote:

The easy answer would be that some serious family counseling is needed here.

The hard and complex truth is that such counseling would be a dead avenue unless everyone committed themselves to getting on board with working out this family's significant problems.

Or we could accept that there aren't any problems to which counseling is needed. This is just a dad punishing his daughter in a public manner. The family isn't at some crisis point, he didn't do anything crazy, and the matter is resolved.

I don't think it was crazy, but then my sanity yardstick got broke a few years back. ;)

I do however think it was stupid, wasteful, childish, and an overall douchebag move. I would've sold it or donated it, making her come along when I did. Same result, with less drama queen BS... although I'd be hard pressed to tell you that he wasn't the bigger drama queen of the two.

[lastknightleft]

Moorluck wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

If you don't think this is crazy, I'd like to see your sanity yardstick. It's certainly not normal, at the very least. As I mentioned before, scope and frequency are important factors here, as well as a look at some of the things he didn't go into in either of his responses.

lastknightleft wrote:

LazarX wrote:

The easy answer would be that some serious family counseling is needed here.

The hard and complex truth is that such counseling would be a dead avenue unless everyone committed themselves to getting on board with working out this family's significant problems.

Or we could accept that there aren't any problems to which counseling is needed. This is just a dad punishing his daughter in a public manner. The family isn't at some crisis point, he didn't do anything crazy, and the matter is resolved.

I would've sold it or donated it, making her come along when I did. Same result, with less drama queen BS... although I'd be hard pressed to tell you that he wasn't the bigger drama queen of the two.

For the record I agree that that would have been a better way to handle the situation.

But he also wanted to make a point to his daughters friends who if they're anything like some people I know on facebook will like the stupid immature crap idiots post in rebellion. We took in a family (teenagers with a kid) that was having issues, and the mom would constantly get in facebook arguments where she would post ignorant hateful poorly spelled vitriol all the time, I tried to encourage her to stop because other people would see that and judge her by it, but for my one voice there we're 4 or 5 of her "friends" who helped her get into her situation in the first place who would click like to everything she posted no matter how bad it was making her come across (seriously don't ever call the mother of the father of your child a b%$&@, especially if he still has a relationship with her and you can't get your spelling or grammar right in your post).

I think the father read that post saw how many of his daughters idiot friends had liked or commented in support, and decided to make a response so that they saw what happened as well as his daughter. I still agree that it would have been better to give it to charity, but I don't begrudge him his choice, nor think he was completely in the wrong to go about it in the way he did, because if nothing else, his daughter learned just as much from the video going viral as she would have if he had shot it without posting it t youtube.

[Chris Lambertz]

Removed a post. Do not do this thing with the insults and the rudeness please.

[CourtFool]

I think the father's actions fall somewhere within the 'normal' human range between Saint and Hitler.

What?:

Really? I am the first one to Godwin this thread? You people are slacking.

I think he could have handled the situation better. However, I do not think his actions are an indicator that he is a 'bad' father.

Abraham spalding wrote:

I think he reacted exactly like she would have and I doubt he will see how his own actions help model the behavior he doesn't like to her.

This is pretty much the extent of my 'problem' with his response.

[Leafar the Lost]

thejeff wrote:

Leafar the Lost wrote:

Once again, my Acolyte has shown true wisdom. This father's daughter needs to know her place. This episode will make it more difficult for him to find her a husband one day...

And for those trying to argue that this is just a moderate position, meaning only that parent's should be in charge of their kid's, perhaps this was far enough over the top to convince you.

I mean, Leafar's obviously just trolling, but it's scary when people start seriously arguing for the troll's position.

The only thing "scary" is your position, "Jeff", which is in the minority. He is the father, he pays the bills, he is in charge. Period. End of story. His daughter should consider herself lucky to have him as a father.

[thejeff]

Leafar the Lost wrote:

thejeff wrote:

Leafar the Lost wrote:

Once again, my Acolyte has shown true wisdom. This father's daughter needs to know her place. This episode will make it more difficult for him to find her a husband one day...

And for those trying to argue that this is just a moderate position, meaning only that parent's should be in charge of their kid's, perhaps this was far enough over the top to convince you.

I mean, Leafar's obviously just trolling, but it's scary when people start seriously arguing for the troll's position.

The only thing "scary" is your position, "Jeff", which is in the minority. He is the father, he pays the bills, he is in charge. Period. End of story. His daughter should consider herself lucky to have him as a father.

And he'll remain in charge of her until it's time for "him to find her a husband one day"?

That's the part that went over the top.

[Kirth Gersen]

Leafar the Lost wrote:

He is the father, he pays the bills, he is in charge. Period. End of story. His daughter should consider herself lucky to have him as a father.

"I am the Gersen, I demand all your money, you will give me all your money. Period. End of story."

See how convincing that is?

[Wolfthulhu]

lastknightleft wrote:

Belle Mythix wrote:

Abraham spalding wrote:

Yeah I'm seeing this as an overreach by the father involved. Now granted her rant was probably excessive, biased, and filled with profanity. However blowing a hole through her computer isn't going to teach her to respect anyone, or change her opinion. It might teach her that firearms are a great way to solve interpersonal problems, and how to be a passive aggressive jerk, but not how to solve problems with any degree of success.

.

.
Gotta agree, I hope the guy knows he should keep that gun out of his daughter's reach.

That's what causes gun problems, trying to "keep them out of the kids reach." If you have a gun in the house then your kids need to know how to use them, to tell if they're loaded, proper safety, and the consequences of irresponsible behavior with a gun. Keeping a gun out of their reach and making it some taboo thing is more likely to lead to an incident than if the kid did have common access to it.

Note the way this man is dressed. Note the vehicles WAAAAAAY back on the distant road. These are country folk (and no that doesn't mean idiot rednecks, though you might like it to). I can say with a fair amount of certainty that the teenager in question has likely fired the very gun that was used to shoot her laptop, and was taught to do so safely by the man who shot it.

It must really kill some of you to read that they seem to have a really good and healthy relationship. I mean, there are so many "I'm glad they made up" comments here that it makes me wonder if good parent/child relationships are as rare as popular media tells us. I had always assumed most real people actually love and respect their parents even if they were hard on them growing up. Guess that's just us 'country folk'.

[spalding]

Love and respect are writing nastigrams about each other and posting them on the internet while shooting property?

That's funny because in the country (Meade County, KY) where I grew up that was called something else all together, and the term wasn't too polite either if you take my meaning.

[Acolyte of Leafar the Loved]

[Shoots laptop, again]

My house, my rules! You don't like it, you can go live with your no-good friends!

[Gurby]

Freehold DM wrote:

I dunno. She deserves a smack across the back of the head for putting it on Facebook, but I don't think the father realizes the can of worms he may have opened here. He says he was a volunteer firefighter and in college AND high school at the same time he was working a(presumably part time) job AND he moved out and was paying rent?? That's sounding near superhuman to me -what volunteer corps is going to have a 15 year old a job other than maybe answering the phone? I'm familiar with high school and college simultaneously going on, and if that's how he got his degree, that's awesome. Still, it's quite a boast he makes, and the Internet is a merciless place and I'm sure someone with time on their hands is going to attempt to verify. However, what bothered me most was that he (perhaps unintentionally) just confessed to the Internet that he hacked his kid's fb account, which is quite a foul in most people's books. Maybe she's that much of a handful that he needs that level of supervision over her, but that's another thing that's damaging his case. Being paid for chores wasn't an issue in my household(it was the only way I could get money at a certain age), but that could be one in his. In terms of getting a job, I was eager to work outside of the home at that age, so her argument loses me there.

Now, pulling out a gun to shoot the laptop? With another round in there from mom? That's where sharks are jumped, and makes one wonder what happens when other arguments occur in the home. He really, really shot himself in the foot here -around where I live such testimony is used to build cases against people on grounds of assault. ESPECIALLY since he did not address the issue of his daughter bringing him food and drink -a competent family court lawyer could build a case. Not that that should happen, mind, but but he really didn't think that last part through. He could have easily made his point by driving over the laptop with a truck or throwing it out a window (I know I would have). I don't see much beyond a pissed off...

1st, No, I disagree, I was in a program for a bit that allowed me to ride along with Para-medics(Explorer's Para-medics Program). Due to lack of credits for high school graduation, I took a class at the Community college once a week at the same time. and I held a side job every other weekend.

2nd, he was working on his daughters laptop when he found it, from the sound of it. thus what do you bet she had an automatic login.
3rd, Until your a parent and Bust your Rear for your kids needs in a job you HATE. Then something like that Pops up. It hurts! It's a stab in the back.

Only by putting it out for the public to see him shoot it!

[Belle Mythix]

Wolfthulhu wrote:

It must really kill some of you to read that they seem to have a really good and healthy relationship. I mean, there are so many "I'm glad they made up" comments here that it makes me wonder if good parent/child relationships are as rare as popular media tells us. I had always assumed most real people actually love and respect their parents even if they were hard on them growing up. Guess that's just us 'country folk'.

.

.
Yes, true healthy child-parent relationship is rare, most people just can't realize it.

To some, physically beating the **** out of their kids and tormenting them is normal, so if you just ask them if their family is normal, they will say yes, but in reality, they aren't.

[Hitdice]

Acolyte of Leafar the Loved wrote:

[Shoots laptop, again]

My house, my rules! You don't like it, you can go live with your no-good friends!

Well Doodle, not to get real, but living with your no-good friends is perfectly valid life-choice /wink.

[Deiros]

I was afraid the thread would evolve into this taking things out of proportion, finger pointing and overall measuring who's has the bigger thing and arguments for the sake of saying I'm right.

I will just say if you do not know ALL the facts which mean you would have to be a member of their family, or very close friend don't assume things about them.

Now if people just want to talk about other things, go open your own thread about it.

Best Regards.

[CourtFool]

Deiros wrote:

I will just say if you do not know ALL the facts...

Are you suggesting we not judge people? Why that's…that's…un-American!

[Chris Lambertz]

Removed a few posts. If you can't discuss this without being insulting to each other and flame baiting, this will be locked.