Dad Responds To His Daughter's Facebook Rant


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Silver Crusade

This is some tough love here
Warning: Some minor profanity.


I dunno. She deserves a smack across the back of the head for putting it on Facebook, but I don't think the father realizes the can of worms he may have opened here. He says he was a volunteer firefighter and in college AND high school at the same time he was working a(presumably part time) job AND he moved out and was paying rent?? That's sounding near superhuman to me -what volunteer corps is going to have a 15 year old a job other than maybe answering the phone? I'm familiar with high school and college simultaneously going on, and if that's how he got his degree, that's awesome. Still, it's quite a boast he makes, and the Internet is a merciless place and I'm sure someone with time on their hands is going to attempt to verify. However, what bothered me most was that he (perhaps unintentionally) just confessed to the Internet that he hacked his kid's fb account, which is quite a foul in most people's books. Maybe she's that much of a handful that he needs that level of supervision over her, but that's another thing that's damaging his case. Being paid for chores wasn't an issue in my household(it was the only way I could get money at a certain age), but that could be one in his. In terms of getting a job, I was eager to work outside of the home at that age, so her argument loses me there.

Now, pulling out a gun to shoot the laptop? With another round in there from mom? That's where sharks are jumped, and makes one wonder what happens when other arguments occur in the home. He really, really shot himself in the foot here -around where I live such testimony is used to build cases against people on grounds of assault. ESPECIALLY since he did not address the issue of his daughter bringing him food and drink -a competent family court lawyer could build a case. Not that that should happen, mind, but but he really didn't think that last part through. He could have easily made his point by driving over the laptop with a truck or throwing it out a window (I know I would have). I don't see much beyond a pissed off dad here, but you have to question how he would got the info(hacking, possibly) and the use of the gun(going so far as to describe the rounds used) along with him taking away means of reaching the outside world other than school. I empathize, to a degree, but he went too far after a while.


Wow.

Silver Crusade

Freehold DM wrote:
However, what bothered me most was that he (perhaps unintentionally) just confessed to the Internet that he hacked his kid's fb account, which is quite a foul in most people's books.

I can see most of what you are saying and I have concerns as well. However, I don't think he hacked his daughter's Facebook. It seems more like he stumbled across the rant when he was doing the upgrades to her computer that she had requested that he perform. He also does not strike me as the type to fly off the handle and assault his daughter. In fact, particularly toward the start of the video, he seemed to be too calm and in control. In fact, the more I think about the video in light of your comments the more I am beginning to question the validity of the whole thing.


I dunno since I'm not a parent I guess my opinion doesn't carry as much weight but I can't see anything wrong with what he did.

She to me sounds like a spoiled little princess with a bad attitude thinking everyone owes here what ever her little heart desires.

I think it's a waste to have destroyed the laptop. He should have slicked it, sold it and got his 130 bucks back. Then again maybe when he calms down and isn't quite so hurt over the things she said he would have given it back to her either way moot point whats done is done.

Grand Lodge

Yeah, I have to agree with Free on this. I think the idea of the video was great. But taking the gun and shooting the laptop was a bit extreme. Especially since he as he said 'wasted half a day and $130.' Had he just made the video and ended it with taking away the laptop permanently or selling it would have been better.


3 people marked this as a favorite.

Selling it, or giving it to charity. Putting it toward a school drive for students without access to computers would have been a fitting way to relieve her of it.


Freehold DM wrote:
but I don't think the father realizes the can of worms he may have opened here. He says he was a volunteer firefighter and in college AND high school at the same time he was working a(presumably part time) job AND he moved out and was paying rent?? That's sounding near superhuman to me -what volunteer corps is going to have a 15 year old a job other than maybe answering the phone? I'm familiar with high school and college simultaneously going on, and if that's how he got his degree, that's awesome. Still, it's quite a boast he makes, and the Internet is a merciless place and I'm sure someone with time on their hands is going to attempt to verify.

And when I was your age we had to walk 20 miles to school in the snow uphill both ways. And we loved it.

That's what it sounds like to me.


Spoiled princess? I dunno. She isn't really asking for anything or why she doesn't have anything she's bemoaning the work she's being made to do. I'm really hoping he didn't just viral video his way into a child protective services visit.

Dark Archive

Having taught at a school that dealt with girls like the father describes, I will concede that sometimes you have to use drastic measures. This is more extreme than I would like, but perhaps he should look into a residential treatment program for his daughter. One the specializes in blended families would be ideal because issues involving divorce and remarriage can lead to extreme emotional problems.

Dark Archive

I agree with the dad sentiment as a parent trust me,the gun part is a big iffy to me but I cannot judge the man on those actions since we do not know all the information or everything about their family life to call judgement as we are all speculating and that can go VERY far to even make a simple thing look like the most heinous crime or the most holy of things.

Now after my good ol' memories this past children's day we made a celebration and got donations for low income to very poor children and you want to know what we got, it was utter dismay and horror for me I swear it broke my heart. Parent were bringing their children dressed after some famous druglords using their clothing (like The Barbie mostly) and playing with toy guns, it was horrible... we did trade them their toy guns for other toys and money, gave them other shirts instead of those and we burned the toy guns and druglord clothing (I just wanted to beat their parents by teaching their children those things).

Now we have problems with parents thinking their children are great kids until they are surprised and demanding the society and government pay them for their "untimely demise" (dying in some shoot out). What they got in response is usually sure so will you pay us for the lives you son took away first? Then images and evidence of their children killing people comes out and then they wonder what went wrong, their kid was home early, good grades not wealthy but decent family living and yet they are murderers.

In that respect I would understand parents wanting to know more of their children's lives because now a days parents are more friends than parents and that is a problem that has plunged society into little b~#$!ing cry baby children that we have now a days, kids turn into junkies, druglords wannabe, thugs and scum. I rather live with some rules from the past were things were a bit tough but hell people weren't so stupid or doing so much crazy s+@~ either, but no now teenagers think they deserve the world just because they were born, I even saw an American college graduate apply for a job and was thinking he deserved it more because he was American compared to a Brazilian guy with at least 3 years of experience and college. I live in America now for a year and the way things are done here sometimes they make me laugh, sometimes I agree and sometimes it's just plain sad. No body is perfect but parents should be more involved in their children's lives instead of what most do is play the I give them freedom card a.k.a. Im a lazy fat ass that doesn't want to deal with parenting playing friends and by the time I want to be parent I just look bad.

Sorry for my rant, I just couldn't stop my self.


David Fryer wrote:
Having taught at a school that dealt with girls like the father describes, I will concede that sometimes you have to use drastic measures. This is more extreme than I would like, but perhaps he should look into a residential treatment program for his daughter. One the specializes in blended families would be ideal because issues involving divorce and remarriage can lead to extreme emotional problems.

fair points, all. But all this over a Facebook post? I'm wondering what happened beforehand that caused her to be grounded for 3 months. There is an issue of scope here.

Dark Archive

There certainly is a larger issue that we are not privy to in this family. I would certainly hope that this was building for awhile, because while still not good it would at least be understandable. Again, having worked with these very types of families it is possible that he is just overly controlling and that is why the good RTCs do therapy for the parents and as families as well as working with the girls as well. As for what she did prior, considering the histories of some of the students I worked with I shudder to think of the possibilities.

Edit: If she is just doing this to impress her Facebook friends, perhaps taking her laptop and ground her from FB for a year would have been a better punishment.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Deiros wrote:

I agree with the dad sentiment as a parent trust me,the gun part is a big iffy to me but I cannot judge the man on those actions since we do not know all the information or everything about their family life to call judgement as we are all speculating and that can go VERY far to even make a simple thing look like the most heinous crime or the most holy of things.

Now after my good ol' memories this past children's day we made a celebration and got donations for low income to very poor children and you want to know what we got, it was utter dismay and horror for me I swear it broke my heart. Parent were bringing their children dressed after some famous druglords using their clothing (like The Barbie mostly) and playing with toy guns, it was horrible... we did trade them their toy guns for other toys and money, gave them other shirts instead of those and we burned the toy guns and druglord clothing (I just wanted to beat their parents by teaching their children those things).

Now we have problems with parents thinking their children are great kids until they are surprised and demanding the society and government pay them for their "untimely demise" (dying in some shoot out). What they got in response is usually sure so will you pay us for the lives you son took away first? Then images and evidence of their children killing people comes out and then they wonder what went wrong, their kid was home early, good grades not wealthy but decent family living and yet they are murderers.

In that respect I would understand parents wanting to know more of their children's lives because now a days parents are more friends than parents and that is a problem that has plunged society into little b+!@~ing cry baby children that we have now a days, kids turn into junkies, druglords wannabe, thugs and scum. I rather live with some rules from the past were things were a bit tough but hell people weren't so stupid or doing so much crazy s#&+ either, but no now teenagers think they deserve the world just because they were...

"When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly disrespectful and impatient of restraint".

Hesiod, 8th century BC

"What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?"
Plato, 4th Century BC


Wife says she has no problem with it, and in fact she finds it funny. Interesting.


She's a b~#$@, no doubt, but her father's reaction, while understandable, isn't going to be at all effective in helping things. If anything, it'll make her behavior even worse, as she'd have even more reasons to think her parents are unfair. The best solution would have been to just ignore her. Completely. Don't say a single word to her. Don't give her anything. Don't do anything for her. If she wants her parents to leave her alone, they will. If anything will change her behavior, seeing how things would be without her dad around would.


thejeff wrote:

"When I was young, we were taught to be discreet and respectful of elders, but the present youth are exceedingly disrespectful and impatient of restraint".

Hesiod, 8th century BC

"What is happening to our young people? They disrespect their elders, they disobey their parents. They ignore the law. They riot in the streets inflamed with wild notions. Their morals are decaying. What is to become of them?"
Plato, 4th Century BC

That's making me think of a verse in the new testament,

but I can't recall which book.

Silver Crusade

Freehold DM wrote:
Wife says she has no problem with it, and in fact she finds it funny. Interesting.

Raises eyebrow

Fascinating.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

His kid threw a tantrum on facebook.

He responds with a tantrum on facebook. With bullets.

At least you expect 15-year-olds to throw the occasional tantrum.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

Ugh...

He just seems like a control freak, investigating her facebook to checking to see what secrets she might be hiding (that's like digging through someone's diary), it's not like he knew about it before digging. So she expresses how she feels to her friends, it's not like she said it to her parents' faces (that would be disrespectful). So she exaggerates things and puts everyone in a negative light, she's just a 15 year old girl going through her teenage angst. It's just what teenagers do, they often express how they feel with ridiculous negative exaggerations about their family, friends, teachers, and anything that annoys them. I'd be lying if I said that I didn't do it when I was her age. It's called freedom of speech.

He is a grown adult, and what does he do? He puts a video on her facebook about how "wrong" she is and putting a bullet in her laptop. I understand he is frustrated about putting some software on her laptop only to find he's not really appreciated and is in fact misrepresented, but it only shows a lack in trying to understand his daughter. He pretty much makes a mockery of his daughter as revenge. It's stupid and childish. I can see where she gets it from. I won't be surprised if his daughter hates him forever.

It's not like she was doing anything illegal or raunchy, it's not like she's taking drugs or pleasuring boys in the bathroom, it's not like she's robbing backs or hacking other peoples accounts. If she's spoiled, stop spoiling her but don't make a mockery of her for all her friends to see and tell her that she owes you a hundred plus dollars for the software that you spent on the laptop you put bullets through.

That's just messed up, and the people who think that video is empowering just don't know how to take care of their kids. Going over the top might be needed sometimes, but that really is just not something to go over the top for.

Shadow Lodge

Ah children, how they fight.


4 people marked this as a favorite.

She's a dumbass. And she's a kid. It'll happen.

He's a dumbass. And he's an adult. It's a shame.


TOZ wrote:
Ah children, how they fight.

*snap*


Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

Here's an update:

Tommy Jordan (the father) wrote:

Attention Media Outlets:
While we appreciate the interest you're all putting forth to get in touch with us regarding the video, we're not going to go on your talk show, not going to call in to your radio show, and not going to be in your TV mini-series.

Some of you think I made an acceptable parenting decision and others think I didn't. However, I can't think of any way myself or my daughter can ...respond to a media outlet that won't be twisted out of context. The Dallas news TV news already showed that in their brief 5 minute interview with the psychologist.

Additionally, there's absolutely NO way I'm going to send my child the message that it's OK to gain from something like this. It would send her a message that it's OK to profit at the expense of someone else's embarrassment or misfortune and that's now how I was raised, nor how she has been raised.

So I say thank you from all of us. If we have anything to say, we'll say it here on Facebook, and we'll say it publicly, but we won't say it to a microphone or a camera. There are too many other REAL issues out there that could use this attention you're giving us. My daughter isn't hurt, emotionally scarred, or otherwise damaged, but that kind of publicity has never seemed to be to have a positive effect on any child or family.

If you're a news outlet that wants to ask us a question, feel free to so via email. I'm sure by now my email address is easy enough to find. It might take me awhile to get to a response because I'd have to sort through the "Die you bastard" emails to find it, but we will respond if its something that we feel merits it. Otherwise, sorry... no interviews, no talk shows, no call-ins.

If we respond to anything, it will be on here, and it will be in a way that our words can't be misconstrued or edited for appeal to specific audience or shock value.

Now, I'm going to try to get to work for the day.
Best of luck to all of you out there... and PLEASE give my phone a break.

==========================================

HOW HANNAH GOT CAUGHT

HOW SHE GOT CAUGHT: The Dog Did It.. no, really.

I finally came out and told her this today, partly because it was too funny NOT to share.

When my daughter made her post, she used Facebook's privacy settings to block "Family" and "Church" friend's lists. All her other friends could see it. We, of course could not.

One of our dogs is always getting in photos and therefore has her own Facebook pa...ge. It's just a cute dumb thing we did for fun. Well, the dog's profile is rarely used except when funny pictures of her are posted. Since that's not too often, and she has very few friends on Facebook, her wall is kind of bare, with relatively few posts showing up on it.

The other night we gave the dog a bath and there was a funny photo we uploaded to Facebook and tagged her in. I logged in as the dog the next morning to comment on the photo. However when I logged into the dog's profile, my daughter had forgotten to add her to the "family" list.... so our family dog's profile showed her post right there on the front page.

It wasn't any parent-hacking, computer spying, or monitoring of any kind.. the dog actually ratted her out completely by accident. She hasn't petted that dog all day today...

==========================================

HANNAH'S REACTION

For those that wondered, commented, criticized, and just in general wanted to know:
My daughter came through it fine.

Yes, she's in trouble, and yes she's grounded, but that doesn't mean every moment of her life has to be miserable. She's going to come to terms with the changes that will be present for a while; no TV privileges, no Internet, etc.

In the meantime, once the initial anger passed,... she sat with me reviewing some of the comments that have come in via Facebook and YouTube. One person even suggested collecting the shell casings and auctioning them on eBay. I said I’d do it if it would help contribute to her college fund! When I told her about it, she thought a minute, got a funny calculating expression on her face and said, “in that case you should shoot my phone too. We can use more bullets and I’ll go half-sies with ya on it! It’s not like I’m going to need it any time soon. And I can use the money we get to buy a new one.”

While the whole point of this story isn’t funny, what is funny to me is how weak some people out there think kids are. Our kids are as strong as we help them to be. My daughter took a horrible day in her life, had her crying fit, then got over it, accepted her punishment, and hasn’t let it (or people’s comments) destroy her strength. I don’t get any credit for that. She’s strong and able to overcome almost anything life throws at her.

Since this unsuspectingly threw her into the limelight much more strongly than either of us intended, I asked her if she wanted to make her own response video, and told her I’d let her do it if she wanted to. She doesn’t like being in front of the camera, so she declined, but I’ve told her if she wants to write a response or post a video response, I’d be OK with it. It’s only fair considering the viral nature of the whole thing. So far she’s not really interested. Quite frankly it seems she’s gotten bored of it much faster than the general public has. If that changes I’ll post it here.

==========================================

FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

Media Response to Anita Li, from the Toronto Star

Since you took the time to email us with your requests like we asked, I’ll take the time to give you an honest follow-up response. You’ll have to forgive me for doing so publicly though; again I want to be sure my words are portrayed the way I actually say them, not cut together to make entirely different points.

Your questions were:
Q: Why did y...ou decide to reprimand your daughter over a public medium like YouTube?

A: Well, I actually just had to load the video file itself on YouTube because it’s a better upload process than Facebook, but the intended audience was her Facebook friends and the parents of those friends who saw her post and would naturally assume we let our children get away with something like that. So, to answer “Why did you reprimand her over a public medium like Facebook” my answer is this: Because that’s how I was raised. If I did something embarrassing to my parents in public (such as a grocery store) I got my tail tore up right there in front of God and everyone, right there in the store. I put the reprisal in exactly the same medium she did, in the exact same manner. Her post went out to about 452 people. Mine went out to about 550 people… originally. I had no idea it would become what it did.

Q: How effective do you think your punishment was (i.e. shooting her laptop and reading her letter online)?

A: I think it was very effective on one front. She apparently didn’t remember being talked to about previous incidents, nor did she seem to remember the effects of having it taken away, nor did the eventual long-term grounding seem to get through to her. I think she thought “Well, I’ll just wait it out and I’ll get it back eventually.” Her behavior corrected for a short time, and then it went back to what it was before and worse. This time, she won’t ever forget and it’ll be a long time before she has an opportunity to post on Facebook again. I feel pretty certain that every day from then to now, whenever one of her friends mentions Facebook, she’ll remember it and wish she hadn’t done what she did.

The second lesson I want her to learn is the value of a dollar. We don’t give her everything she asks for, but you can all imagine what it’s like being the only grandchild and the first child. Presents and money come from all sides when you’re young. Most of the things she has that are “cool” were bought or gifted that way. She’s always asked for very few things, but they’re always high-dollar things (iPod, laptop, smartphone, etc). Eventually she gets given enough money to get them. That’s not learning the value of a dollar. Its knowing how to save money, which I greatly applaud in her, but it’s not enough. She wants a digital SLR camera. She wants a 22 rifle like mine. She wants a car. She wants a smart phone with a data package and unlimited texting. (I have to hear about that one every week!)

She thinks all these things are supposed to be given to her because she’s got parents. It’s not going to happen, at least not in our house. She can get a job and work for money just like everyone else. Then she can spend it on anything she wants (within reason). If she wants to work for two months to save enough to purchase a $1000 SLR camera with an $800 lens, then I can guarantee she’ll NEVER leave it outside at night. She’ll be careful when she puts it away and carries it around. She’ll value it much more because she worked so hard to get it. Instead, with the current way things have been given to her, she's on about her fourth phone and just expects another one when she breaks the one she has. She's not sorry about breaking it, or losing it, she's sorry only because she can't text her friends. I firmly believe she'll be a LOT more careful when she has to buy her own $299.00 Motorola Razr smartphone.

Until then, she can do chores, and lots and lots of them, so the people who ARE feeding her, clothing her, paying for all her school trips, paying for her musical instruments, can have some time to relax after they finish working to support her and the rest of the family. She can either work to make money on her own, or she will do chores to contribute around the house. She’s known all along that all she has to do is get a job and a lot of these chores will go away. But if you’re too lazy to work even to get things you want for yourself, I’m certainly not going to let you sit idly on your rear-end with your face glued to both the TV and Facebook for 5 to 6 hours per night. Those days are over.

Q: How did your daughter respond to the video and to what happened to her laptop?

A: She responded to the video with “I can’t believe you shot my computer!” That was the first thing she said when she found out about it. Then we sat and we talked for quite a long while on the back patio about the things she did, the things I did in response, etc.

Later after she’d had time to process it and I’d had time to process her thoughts on the matters we discussed, we were back to a semi-truce… you know that uncomfortable moment when you’re in the kitchen with your child after an argument and you’re both waiting to see which one’s going to cave in and resume normal conversation first? Yeah, that moment. I told her about the video response and about it going viral and about the consequences it could have on our family for the next couple of days and asked if she wanted to see some of the comments people had made. After the first few hundred comments, she was astounded with the responses.

People were telling her she was going to commit suicide, commit a gun-related crime, become a drug addict, drop out of school, get pregnant on purpose, and become a stripper because she’s too emotionally damaged now to be a productive member of society. Apparently stripper was the job-choice of most of the commenters. Her response was “Dude… it’s only a computer. I mean, yeah I’m mad but pfft.” She actually asked me to post a comment on one of the threads (and I did) asking what other job fields the victims of laptop-homicide were eligible for because she wasn’t too keen on the stripping thing.

We agreed we learned two collective lessons from this so far:

First: As her father, I’ll definitely do what I say I will, both positive and negative and she can depend on that. She no longer has any doubt about that.

Second: We have always told her what you put online can affect you forever. Years later a single Facebook/MySpace/Twitter comment can affect her eligibility for a good job and can even get her fired from a job she already has. She’s seen first-hand through this video the worst possible scenario that can happen. One post, made by her Dad, will probably follow him the rest of his life; just like those mean things she said on Facebook will stick with the people her words hurt for a long time to come. Once you put it out there, you can’t take it back, so think carefully before you use the internet to broadcast your thoughts and feelings.

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Adventure, Lost Omens, Pawns, Rulebook Subscriber

Okay, he's moved up a couple points to me.


Well at least he made it up with his daughter. Really, what appalled me most was the fact that he made such a public display of it. And apparently he's the wishy washy type that says he'll ground her forever but lighten the punishment later (which isn't necessarily a bad thing).

I'm not going to say he's a bad father, and he's probably an okay father (cuz I mean who's perfect?) but what he did (posting a video of him shooting her laptop) was no better than he what she did to incite it in the first place. If she doesn't hate him, he's probably doing a good job (for his family).


Glad he made up with his daughter, but I'm thinking he's missing a few things here.

My wife and I got into quite the debate about this, primarily because we are considering having a kid. My wife went on and on about how important the internet is and how posts she made might negatively affect her and her father for the rest of her life and that her father made the right decision. I had no problem with that, for the most part, but everyone seemed to ignore the fact that her father's video may have just done as much damage as a booze fueled breast exposed Spring Break pic/movie. I do see that he alludes to this at the end of his written response, but the internet IS forever, and I think there may be some far reaching consequences for both her and him professionally.


Yeah, whatever. Teenagers have ranted to their friends about how unfair and horrible their parents are since the dawn of time. It's stupid and it's immature, but it's the way they are. It's the way I was. It's a classic trope in coming of age stories and parenting books.

The father's reaction was so over the top it's almost a parody. If this whole thing is for real then he really showed his immaturity.


thejeff wrote:

Yeah, whatever. Teenagers have ranted to their friends about how unfair and horrible their parents are since the dawn of time. It's stupid and it's immature, but it's the way they are. It's the way I was. It's a classic trope in coming of age stories and parenting books.

You really can't compare ranting to your friends in private to posting something in public on Facebook, visible to all except those grouped as 'Family' or 'Church'. This 'rant' was delivered to 452 people - that's more akin to having it published by the local newspaper than it is to "ranting to their friends" - and when you consider the fact that anyone can find it and send it on, it's far more permanent as well.


Dr Tom wrote:

His kid threw a tantrum on facebook.

He responds with a tantrum on facebook. With bullets.

At least you expect 15-year-olds to throw the occasional tantrum.

Doofus.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

When I was in high school, a lot of my friends were extremely well off and it was very difficult to cope with the feelings of jealousy and envy that I would get when I heard about how they got their own car at 15, how they got an F or a D in a subject and their parents didn't care or how their mother bought them both versions of the hot new game while my family could have never afforded one. Meanwhile, I had to live this horrid life of squalor and servitude. For god's sake, I had to do chores!

At this point in time, it's easy to realize my life was relatively easy and normal, and that the people who were all around me were just privileged. It tints your glasses the wrong color. I can understand her rant. In ten years, she'll have perspective that will make her feel ashamed for thinking what she did, much like I do. But shooting her laptop doesn't exactly give her perspective. It's just being an ass.

Silver Crusade

Freehold DM wrote:
I'm really hoping he didn't just viral video his way into a child protective services visit.

He did.


Marius Johansen wrote:
thejeff wrote:

Yeah, whatever. Teenagers have ranted to their friends about how unfair and horrible their parents are since the dawn of time. It's stupid and it's immature, but it's the way they are. It's the way I was. It's a classic trope in coming of age stories and parenting books.

You really can't compare ranting to your friends in private to posting something in public on Facebook, visible to all except those grouped as 'Family' or 'Church'. This 'rant' was delivered to 452 people - that's more akin to having it published by the local newspaper than it is to "ranting to their friends" - and when you consider the fact that anyone can find it and send it on, it's far more permanent as well.

Yeah I can. This how kids communicate these days. It was too big for a text so it went on Facebook.

(And was it actually public, or just visible to her friends who weren't 'Family' or 'Church'? Which is, I would guess, almost entirely kids around her age. And the dog.)

So yeah. Stupid and immature, but that's part of growing up. If it's permanent, that just means it'll be around to laugh at and be embarrassed about in 10 years.

I'll bet there's 10s of thousands of facebook posts just like that around the country. Just that the parents never found them or didn't have a public meltdown when they did.


Apostle of Gygax wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
I'm really hoping he didn't just viral video his way into a child protective services visit.
He did.

Like I said, he's a doofus.

The embodiment of everything wrong with the average American idiot today.


Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

Meh. Nothing will come of it; he did nothing wrong.


for all of you thinking he is such a great Dad and such, notice WHY he won't do media interviews without a question list before.
it's because he has to have time to make this s**t up.
keep in mind, we only have his side of what's now going on: how his daughter reacted and how their relationship is now.
i have a strong feeling that if his SON had done the same thing, the reaction would have negligible.


Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

No one accepts media interviews on hot topics with out getting a question list first. No one with half a brain, anyway.
(I'm lookin at you, Sarah Palin).

And what exactly should he go on the news for? All he did was take something he owned out into his own front yard in an area that it wasn't against the law to discharge a firearm, and shot said thing.
His daughter wasn't present, she was in no danger. There was no risk of injury.

This is not against the law. He did nothing wrong.

Had he gone into her room while she was on facebook, and blasted it, that would be an entirely different matter.


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Kryzbyn wrote:

No one accepts media interviews on hot topics with out getting a question list first. No one with half a brain, anyway.

(I'm lookin at you, Sarah Palin).

And what exactly should he go on the news for? All he did was take something he owned out into his own front yard in an area that it wasn't against the law to discharge a firearm, and shot said thing.
His daughter wasn't present, she was in no danger. There was no risk of injury.

This is not against the law. He did nothing wrong.

Had he gone into her room while she was on facebook, and blasted it, that would be an entirely different matter.

My wife and I have gone back and forth on the issue of shooting someone in effigy, and it's legality. My wife agrees with you and feels he overreacted but did nothing illegal, but I think he might get in trouble ad shooting someone in effigy (in this case by shooting something he have to someone else because he was mad at them) falls into the category of menacing, which is a misdemeanor. Again, I'm not saying this guy should lose access to his kid or anything like that, but I do think he showed poor judgment here. It's not that he shot it is its that he videotaped himself doing it, and sent it to specific people as a warning.


Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

I don't see the shooting an effigy thing at all.
The laptop was not representative of his daughter in any way, and he never referred to it as "her", in any way.
He did not shoot it as a warning, but as the fulfillment of a warning.
All he did was remove her use of the laptop. He could have taken it away, sold it on Ebay or given it to a charity. He shot it instead. Same result: Punishment in the form of denial of use of said laptop, which according to the video, he warned her would happen the last time she did something similar.


Something I'm not clear on -- this father talks a lot about how his daughter has to work to earn the money for her expensive gadgets. Is the laptop one of those? In other words, did the daughter work to earn money, then use that money to buy said laptop, and then her dad takes the laptop and destroys it (on the order of theft and destruction of private property)? Or is this a laptop that her dad gave to her, so he's totally justified in taking it awaya nd doing whatever else he wanted with it? That would sort of make a difference to me.


Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

One of his points of contention was that she doesn't have a job.

Regardless, I don't think minors have property rights, do they? They pretty much have and keep things by the grace of their parents until they are adults and can actually own things?


It's very clear that none of her expensive electronics were bought by her as a result of her own labor - they were purchased by other people or given as gifts (his quoted response in a post above shows this to be the case - in some cases her gifts were monetary, and that money was used to purchase items).

While personally I feel that he'd have done better to just lock all of her electronics and luxuries up in a safe and said "You can have them back when you buy them back with money you earn from a job," Kryzbyn is absolutely correct: He did nothing illegal in destroying his own private property on his own domestic property.

If anything they authorities might get him on a misdemeanor firearms discharge, but I doubt they can even do that, given where he lives.


Thanks, K, for all the follow up info.

Looking beyond the means the father used, and the original means his daughter did, I see a bigger message being missed by many.

The daughter made a series of mistakes, and the father did as well. Hindsight is always 20/20. The grande enchilda is that this viral explosion has seemed to result in both of them learning from those mistakes. Public mistakes (very public in his case) leading to private lessons learned. Sometimes thing have to escalate in order for them to be addressed. You cannot plan out or anticipate how you would react to every situation. Kids make mistakes. Parents WILL make mistakes. Tempers will cloud judgment. Kudos to them avoiding the media circus, and risking perpetuating the pain or escalating it further yet.

Good luck to their family. Good luck to us all.


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Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

My fiancee and I have discussed this, and we agree with you Jem and others who said that while he did nothing wrong, he could have done it better. Like have her donate her laptop to a charity or something.
That's my only problem. But, at the end of the day, it's his derned laptop. Or it was...


After seeing both of my neices get caught up in all the texting, facebook, etc crap now a days I think all parents should follow his lead. The internet should have a age restriction.


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John Kretzer wrote:
After seeing both of my neices get caught up in all the texting, facebook, etc crap now a days I think all parents should follow his lead. The internet should have a age restriction.

Seeing as how Mrs. Gersen spends every single spare instant texting or facebooking -- she'll seriously claim to be "going to bed" because she has to "get up early," and then she'll lie in bed clacking away on the g#**~$n phone all night instead of sleeping -- I sometimes think social media and cell phones should have a gender restriction... or maybe just a maximum number of daily uses, like a spell-like ability.


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I'm very happy to hear that my Paizo comrades are more reasonable and level-headed than most of the posters on Youtube or FB.

I'm sick of hearing crap like "she deserved it" yadda yadda. He's the parent, he's the adult, he needs to grow up. Punishment is one thing, this is more like retaliation which is just petty and counter to his purpose which should be realizing the ACTUAL ramifications of her actions, not manufacturing new ones.

Just because he has the right to do what he did doesn't mean it WAS right. There's a pretty vast gulf of distinction there.

Basically, this guy is a jackass and not a responsible parent. I'm sure everyone who has ever raised a teenager wishes he could have done what he did, and I'm sure at the time it was emotionally satisfying, but that sort of knee-jerk response rarely makes good parenting.

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