-- Unforgiven --
Little Bill Daggett: Well, sir, you are a cowardly son of a b!!#+! You just shot an unarmed man!
Will Munny: Well, he should have armed himself if he's going to decorate his saloon with my friend.
Little Bill Daggett: You'd be William Munny out of Missouri. Killer of women and children.
Will Munny: That's right. I've killed women and children. I've killed just about everything that walks or crawled at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you, Little Bill...
-- Pulp Fiction --
Butch: What now?
Marsellus: What now? Let me tell you what now. I'ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' n&@$!#s, who'll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your ass.
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8
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Heh, along the pulp fiction lines.
Warmage: The empowered maximized fireball. When you want to absolutely postively kill every non-fire resistant target in the room? accept no substitutes.
OH, and for Wish/Miracle casters. "I reject your reality and substitute my own!"
When the druid turned into a winter wolf:
"Ok, so...she's a dog..." from ghostbusters.
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("You need to take me alive or you'll never get your answers")
"Our priest talks to corpses."
"FOR PONY!"
(Walking over bridge of corpses) "I'm walking on sunshine!"
"This will only hurt - A LOT!"
"Don't be afraid, I'm sure this will hurt. My dentist used to say that."
"I'm gettin' heartburn. Tony, do something terrible."
"What's that?"
"Blue light."
"What's it do?"
"It turns blue."
"Look up 'idiot' in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?"
"A picture of me?"
"No! The definition of the word idiot, which you f#++ing are!"
(Well, pretty much all of Kiss Kiss Bang Bang).
"You know nothing. Hell is only a word. The reality is much, much worse."
"Who are you? "
"I'm your worst nightmare. "
"No, waking up without my penis is my worst nightmare."
"Okay, alright, so I'm not actually your worst nightmare. But I am right up there."
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"Get the hell out of my galaxy!"
"From Hell's heart I stab at thee."
"This is the very end of you."
"I aim to misbehave."
"Nobody gets in to see the wizard! Not no way, not no how!"
Paraphrased from the Wizard of Oz. Just erupted out of me one game when our party was denied entrance to a city, in which we were trying to meet up with a wizard. Hilarity ensued.
Ha! Take that! I combined 3 threads into one post! A one liner quote that came up in game that made the whole table laugh!
RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32
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(While immobilized and helpless):
"Well, what do YOU think we should do?"
[beat]
"Think about our place in the universe?"
(While running away from a group of would-be assassins):
"How nice to see old friends!"
"Do you have any friends who DON'T want to kill us?"
"Friends... who DON'T want to kill us...? Hm...."
"Polka will never die!"
"There is, I think, humor here which does not translate well from English into sanity."
"What happens in the Yucatan stays in the Yucatan. there will be no jokes about sniffing butts or chasing tails or anything like that. ever. agreed?"
"Bring it, Darth Bathrobe!"
"Holy s#%*," I breathed. "Hellhounds."
"Harry," Michael said sternly. "You know I hate it when you swear."
"You're right. Sorry. Holy s+%!," I breathed, "heckhounds."
"Here's something else I bet you didn't know about Tyrannosaurs: they don't corner well."
"Go, go Gadget Faustian bargain."
"That's Doctor Smart-ass. I didn't spend eight years in insult college to be called Mister."
"I let out a battle cry. Sure, a lot of people might have mistaken it for a sudden yelp of unmanly fear, but trust me. It was a battle cry."
"When i want your opinion, i'll read it in your entrails"
"For my next trick, anvils."
"I'd made the vampire cry. Great. I felt like a real superhero."
"Here's where I ask why don't you spend your time doing something safer and more boring. Like maybe administering suppositories to rabid gorillas."
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"My faith protects me. My Kevlar helps."
"You rush a miracle worker, you get lousy miracles!"
"I think cynics are playful and cute."
Good stuff, but you can't beat Firefly for quotability.
Another that I've actually used on my table:
"And then I said, oatmeal, are you crazy?"
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This actually would work well for an Inquisitor. :-)"My faith protects me. My Kevlar helps."
Well, it comes from the best paladin-like character ever.
Seriously, any GM having problems with players failing at paladins should make them read the Dresden Files and shamelessly copy Michael when it comes to the right interpretation of LG and the paladin's code.
That's what a holy warrior has to act like. None of that "I detect evil and everything that detects I'll smite" crap. No "I'm LG so I will make everyone's life hell if they as much as think about having fun." and "I'll use this as an excuse to be prejudiced and judgemental."
When you read about Michael you cannot help but notice that he understands that as a quasi-paladin has to be actually GOOD.
None of you understand! I'm not locked in here with you! You're locked in here with me! -- Rorschach, Watchmen
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Some Justice League ones...
- I suppose this is a bad time to say "I told you so."
- A pity he uses his talents for evil, rather than entertain children at birthday parties.
- Sorry, but my identity's a secret. Chicks dig that whole "man of mystery" thing.
- I'm gonna need a longer grapple.
- My brain's not a nice place to be.
- It's faith, Hawkgirl. You're not supposed to understand it. You just have it.
- Oh, you're breaking an old man's heart, kids! Stand up to them like I would! If I were there... and if I had superpowers and... Oh, for Pete's sake, go back there and beat on them!
- The suspense is killing me! Of course, it's going to be the explosions that kill them.
This is great for when the GM forgets you speak a language.
Thief: [in Kaznian] You can't understand a word I'm saying and I wouldn't tell you anything if you could. Batman: [in Kaznian] I can... [advances on him menacingly] ...and you will.
"Polka will never die!"
"There is, I think, humor here which does not translate well from English into sanity."
"What happens in the Yucatan stays in the Yucatan. there will be no jokes about sniffing butts or chasing tails or anything like that. ever. agreed?"
"Bring it, Darth Bathrobe!"
"Holy s@!@," I breathed. "Hellhounds."
"Harry," Michael said sternly. "You know I hate it when you swear."
"You're right. Sorry. Holy s%$!," I breathed, "heckhounds.""Here's something else I bet you didn't know about Tyrannosaurs: they don't corner well."
"Go, go Gadget Faustian bargain."
"That's Doctor Smart-ass. I didn't spend eight years in insult college to be called Mister."
"I let out a battle cry. Sure, a lot of people might have mistaken it for a sudden yelp of unmanly fear, but trust me. It was a battle cry."
"When i want your opinion, i'll read it in your entrails"
"For my next trick, anvils."
"I'd made the vampire cry. Great. I felt like a real superhero."
"Here's where I ask why don't you spend your time doing something safer and more boring. Like maybe administering suppositories to rabid gorillas."
I'm actually about 5 books into the dresden files, so I'm loving the references.
See I never found it that way, just the thought of that show makes me want to run away screamingSadly this thread seems to be about lines from Firefly, I'll leave nowIt wasn't supposed to be just firefly. That show just has so many good one liners.I've found that there are two types of people in this world...
... those that love Firefly and those that won't admit they do. :)
My hatred for Firefly is legendary. Though I have to admit that one quote WAS funny.
Quotes from a favorite of mine: Bijaz of Dune Messiah
"I don't speak. I operate a machine called language. It creaks and groans but is mine own."
"I know when we should leave. It is a talent few men have. There's a time for endings-and that's a good beginning. Let's begin to go.."
"I'm a person, you know. Persons come in many shapes and sizes. This be but one of them. "
"I'm weak of muscle, but strong of mouth."
"I'm riddled with conundrums, but not all of them stupid."
"To be gone is to be bygone. Let us let bygones be bygones."
"There's but a thin line between many an enemy and many a friend. Where that line stops there is no beginning and no end. Let us end it, my friends."
"Every minute we linger, prolongs the present!"
"Bygones, bygones, let bygones fall where they may. This has been a dirty day."
"You can't read my mind? Let me give you the cliff notes version: Thong. Lust."
"Evil will always win because good is too dumb."
Inscription on a tombstone:
"I TOLD YOU I WAS SICK"
"Oh Lord, forgive the misprints!"
Andrew Bradford, american book-publisher
"I drank what?"
Said to be the last words of Socrates
"Why yes -- a bulletproof vest."
James Rodges, murderer, on his final
request before the firing squad
"Where did all these damn indians come from?"
General Custer
"He wasn't paranoid, they really were after him."
Epitaph
Well shoot me. [pause] NOT LITERALLY!!
Change , change the form of man.
Free the prince forever damned.
Free the might from fleshy mire.
Boil the blood in heart of fire.
Gone , gone the form of man.
Rise the demon Etrigan!
Not really a one liner , but a hell of a way to start the BBEG fight.
Edit -
Stand back everyone , nothin here to see. Just imminent danger and in the middle of it me! - Capt Hammer
Balls.... - Dr. Horrible
The hammer is my penis - Capt hammer
Its curtains for you. Lacey , gentle wafting curtains. - Capt hammer
If God had wanted to you live he would not have created me - The soldier TF2
My blood! He punched out all of my blood! - The scount TF2
Sun shines , birds fly , grass grows and brotha , I hurt people. Im a force of nature. If you where from where I was from , you'd be f%&^$ dead. - The scout TF2
Its not even on fire. How are you supose to tell its on? - Saxon Hale TF2
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. - Inigo montoya - The princess bride
We may enjoy the peppermint flavor these days, but the original candy cane was no laughing matter...that prank left my great-grandfather with a fractured hip.
I call it "No-Pants Wonderday," but it turns out the police just call it "Thursday." Go figure.
"In all fairness I must warn you. I have a stick."
(Facing an enormously powerful foe) Take your best shot...wimp.
Acronymphos love to have S.E.X.
Do we really need warnings that the lead in paint will kill you?
Keep in mind that these people have already made a conscious decision to CONSUME PAINT.
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"You hit like a girl" (after being beat to within an inch of his life in a single round by a deific avatar)
"...thus kabloowie, thus death."
"My spell is powered by love."
"Really?"
"Yeah, every time I cast that spell, some love is forever sucked from the world."
"We are about to witness an inverse relationship between the number of stab wounds I inflict and the number of answers you start giving me."
Some Justice League ones...
- I suppose this is a bad time to say "I told you so."
- A pity he uses his talents for evil, rather than entertain children at birthday parties.
- Sorry, but my identity's a secret. Chicks dig that whole "man of mystery" thing.
- I'm gonna need a longer grapple.
- My brain's not a nice place to be.
- It's faith, Hawkgirl. You're not supposed to understand it. You just have it.
- Oh, you're breaking an old man's heart, kids! Stand up to them like I would! If I were there... and if I had superpowers and... Oh, for Pete's sake, go back there and beat on them!
- The suspense is killing me! Of course, it's going to be the explosions that kill them.
This is great for when the GM forgets you speak a language.
Thief: [in Kaznian] You can't understand a word I'm saying and I wouldn't tell you anything if you could. Batman: [in Kaznian] I can... [advances on him menacingly] ...and you will.
To add one more:
"Flash! Don't heckle the supervillain!" GL
"We are about to witness an inverse relationship between the number of stab wounds I inflict and the number of answers you start giving me."
Totally stealing that next time any of my characters have to interrogate someone.
Booga: I'm Tank Girl's boyfriend. We're in love. Well, I'm in love and she occasionally pours boiling water down my Calvin Kleins.
"This ends badly for you."
"You're going to die screaming... and I'm going to watch."
My hatred for Firefly is legendary. Though I have to admit that one quote WAS funny.
BLASSSSPHEMAAAAAAY!
My hatred for Firefly is legendary. Though I have to admit that one quote WAS funny.BLASSSSPHEMAAAAAAY!
Chain of command made me chuckle. I'm fairly sure I've heard it somewhere before though, which would not surprise me, considering it's Whedon.
Director of Narrative
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"Death is...whimsical, today." -Stansfield
Edit: (two more)
Stansfield: It's always the same thing. It's when you start to become really afraid of death that you learn to appreciate life. Do you like life, sweetheart?
Mathilda: Yes.
Stansfield: That's good, because I take no pleasure in taking life if it's from a person who doesn't care about it.
Stansfield: Bring me everyone.
Benny: What do you mean “everyone"?
Stansfield: EVERYONE!!!
RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16
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"I thought you said you likd this kid."
"If the buggers get him, they'll make me look like his favorite uncle."
--Ender's Game
"You're only so sure you're right because they're so sure you're wrong."
--Xenocide
"'I'm not stupid!' In Bean's experience, that was a sentence never uttered except to prove its own inaccuracy."
--Ender's Shadow
Dean Winchester: Hey Sam I dare you to take a swig at this.
Sam Winchester: Why the hell would I do that for?
Dean Winchester: I double dare you.
Dean: Ya know she could be faking.
Sam:Yeah, what do you wanna do, poke her with a stick?
(Dean nods)
Sam: Dude, you're not gonna poke her with a stick!
Dean: We know a little about a lot of things; just enough to make us dangerous.
Dean: Damn cops.
Sam: They were just doing their job.
Dean: No, they were doing our job, only they don't know it so they suck at it.
Sam: So let me get this straight. You want to drive all the way to Cicero just to hook up with some random chick? Dean: She was a yoga teacher. That was the bendiest weekend of my life!
Dean: A Hand of Glory? I think I got one of those at the end of my Thai massage last week.
Bela: Do you really think this is going to work?
Dean: Almost definitely not.
Sam: If you pull that string one more time I’m gonna kill you.
Dean: [pulls the string again and laughs] Come on man you need more laughter in your life, you know your'e way too tense.
Bobby Singer: Do I look like a ditchable prom date to you?
Bobby: (hands Dean one of two flasks) Here you go.
Dean: What is this, holy water?
Bobby: That one is. This is whiskey.
Dean: All I see is the light at the end of the tunnel.
Sam: That's hellfire, Dean.
Linc: You ready?
Michael: No, you?
Linc: No.
Michael: Let's go.
Bellick: My daddy always said "fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice I put you in the ground."
House
House: "The good news is he won't be b%+#$ing about losing his hand if he can't breathe."
Stark: Good job Carter. Wow that didn't even leave a bad taste in my mouth.
Carter: Give it a second.
Stark: Oh there it is.
Carter: "It's all fun and games until someone gets cursed"
Heru'ur: You dare challenge me?
Col. O'Neill: 'S thinkin' about it.
Col. O'Neill: You know what they say, General. If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try, try, try again.
Teal'c: Trust in me, O'Neill.
Col. O'Neill: What if I'm not O'Neill?
Teal'c: Then I was not talking to you.
Dr. Jackson: I'm sorry to interrupt, but um…if you brought us here to try and convert us, it is fair to tell you that we are really not in the market for new gods.
Dr. Jackson: I can do it. Just uh, do me a favor. I need some help.
Vala: Okay, what?
Dr. Jackson: Go to the panel by the rear exit.
Vala: Okay, now what?
Dr. Jackson: Stay there, shut up, and let me finish.
Dr. Jackson: [pulling Vala's scarf off her neck] Vala, this is a military vessel.
Vala: I know, darling. I've stolen it before.
Dr. Jackson: Well, just try to be, uh…
Vala: My charming self?
Dr. Jackson: Just a little less talk; a little more shut the hell up.
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"Of course, we went on trying, because that's the military way!"
"You mean, pile dreadful failure on top of failure?"
"Contrary to popular belief and hope, people don't usually come running when they hear a scream. That's not how humans work. Humans look at other humans and say, 'Did you hear a scream?' because the first scream might have been you screaming inside your head, or a horse backfiring."
"Whole new theories of money were growing here like mushrooms, in the dark and based on b%#&&@$#."
"I hate it when there are two four o'clocks in the same day."
"Vimes had never got on with any game much more complex than darts. Chess in particular had always annoyed him. It was the dumb way the pawns went off and slaughtered their fellow pawns while the kings lounged about doing nothing that always got to him; if only the pawns united, maybe talked the rooks round, the whole board could've been a republic in a dozen moves."
"Shoes, men, coffins... never accept the first one you see."
"Oh, all right. Of course I accept as a natural born criminal, habitual liar, fraudster and totally untrustworthy perverted genius."
"Capital! Welcome to government service! I pride myself on being able to pick the right man."
"I commend my soul to any god that can find it."
"What sort of man would put a known criminal in charge of a major branch of government? Apart from, say, the average voter."
"Always remember that the crowd that applauds your coronation is the same crowd that will applaud your beheading. People like a show."
"Good evening, gentlemen! Please pay attention. I am a reformed vampire, which is to say, I am a bundle of suppressed instincts held together with spit and coffee. It would be wrong to say that violent, tearing carnage does not come easily to me. It's not tearing your throats out that doesn't come easily to me. Please don't make it any harder."
"Ninety per cent of most magic merely consists of knowing one extra fact."
"5 HP is no place to start chanting." -Me, after taking a Disintegrate to the face, then getting knocked down by an AoE. (I cast Haste instead.)
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Good stuff, but you can't beat Firefly for quotability.
Challenge accepted.
"At times like this, I wish I had listened to my mother when I was young."
"Why, what did she say?"
"I don't know, I didn't listen!"
"Hey doll, is this guy boring you? Why don't you talk to me? I'm from another planet."
"He's spending a year dead for tax reasons."
"It was 'on display' at the bottom of a locked filing cabinet in a disused lavatory with a sign outside the door saying 'Beware of the Leopard'!"
"They only know the word, 'Uh,' and they don't know how to spell it."
"I seem to be having tremendous difficulties with my lifestyle."
"If I remember correctly, we were programmed to crash on the planet."
"What? Why?"
"I can't remember right now, but it was for a terribly important reason."
"You're a bunch of useless bloody loonies!"
"Oh, that's it! That was the reason!"
"Hey doll, is this guy boring you? Why don't you talk to me? I'm from another planet."
Apropos of nothing, I can certainly see Wash using this line before he was married.
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"The point is I am now a perfectly safe penguin, and my friend is rapidly running out of limbs."
"O freddled gruntbuggly, thy nicturations are to me as plurdled gabbleblotchits upon a lurgid bee."
"It needs a big wide sounding name. Like ow... ound... round... Ground! That's it, ground! I wonder if it will be friends with me."
"This is obviously some definition of the word 'safe' I was previously unaware of."
"RESISTANCE IS USELESS!"
"He then goes on to prove black is white and gets himself killed at the next zebra crossing."
"I'd rather be happy than right any day."
"In those days, no one was actually poor. At least, no one worth speaking of."
"Bards suck."
"No, I don't expect you to talk. I expect you to die!" (Paraphrased)
“Now the whole world will know that you died scratching my balls.” (Dare you to find a way to use that in game.) :)
“Miss Anders… I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on.” (You KNOW you want to use that one in a game)
“Now put your clothes back on, and I’ll buy you an ice cream.” (Again, Dare you to find a way to use that in game.) :)
"Ah, the famous double O seven wit... or at least half of it." (EASILY adapted to any game)
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Any of the quotes
I can't put my finger on it, but I sense Hitchhikers Guide, Doctor Who, Torchwood, and Discworld in those quotes.
Am I anywhere near right?
It's ALL Hitchhiker's Guide. Specifically, the 1981 BBC2 television production, six episodes of about 33 minutes in length, each. Benicio said nothing's more quotable than Firefly, and I aim to prove it wrong. With a smaller canon.
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"No, I don't expect you to talk. I expect you to die!" (Paraphrased)
“Now the whole world will know that you died scratching my balls.” (Dare you to find a way to use that in game.) :)
“Miss Anders… I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on.” (You KNOW you want to use that one in a game)
“Now put your clothes back on, and I’ll buy you an ice cream.” (Again, Dare you to find a way to use that in game.) :)
"Ah, the famous double O seven wit... or at least half of it." (EASILY adapted to any game)
I have on times past been able to say "That's a lovely little bit of nothing you're almost wearing." And "Oh no need on my account."
And once even "Weren't you a brunette earlier? A Gentleman tends to notice these things." (Woman at work died her hair.)
James Bond (as the laser is slowly working its way up to split him in half): "Do you expect me to talk?"
Auric Goldfinger: "No, Mr. Bond. I expect you to die."