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I have many fine memories of games and good times with my friends gathered around the DM screen and a bowl of chips. I was wondering, what was the craziest, boneheaded stunt either you or one of your players has ever pulled? Successful or not.
For myself, I was playing a 10th level human barbarian named Joachim. He was CG, loud, good-natured, and lord was he an arrogant snot (even if he couldn't read or write!). Well, my group was involved in a dungeon crawl through this mage's tower, and we were in the process of climbing this long spiral stair.
About halfway to the top (120' to the bottom; I said it was a long climb), we get attacked by a pair of Vrocks! We took the first one down quickly, but the second was smart. Well, I quickly got frustated, because the Vrock just stayed out of reach and hit us again and again with spell-like abilities--the cheater! Finally, I decided that Joachim would be just about in a full rage, and turned to the DM.
"I charge the Vrock", I said.
Play came to a halt.
"You what?" he asked.
"I charge him! You can make a Jump check as part of movement, so I charge him!"
Jaws went slack, but the DM chuckled and waved his hand for me to roll the dice. I tied in initiatve with the party wizard (Artos) and started psyching myself, yelling at the Vrock, "You're mine, bird-brain! I'm coming for YOU!"
Well, my turn rolled around, and I rolled my jump check. Natural 20, praise the lord and pass the ammuntion! Cleared the gap and made it to the Vrock, and then the DM asked me a question.
"Are you going to take your attack before you fall?"
I looked at my group and said, "Nope, I'm going to grapple him and bite his neck apart."
The DM nodded and chuckled again and then he finished with the wizard's spell before rolling my stupid stunt. The rest of the party just shook their heads and one of them asked the cleric if he had prepared raise dead. Well, the wizard wasn't planning on it being successful, but he had just one high level spell left memorized: phantasmal killer. He penetrated the spell resistance, and the Vrock rolled a 3 and a 2, failing both saves and dying from fear.
So, as Joachim is hurtling through the air, he sees the Vrocks eyes widen in terror, he slams into him and gets a successful grapple, and the Vrock dies from fright!
Well, we both drop 120' feet like a pair of stones. And the DM rolls my falling damage, and I have never seen so many 1s and 2s, which made me grin even more!
Twenty minutes later, the rest of the party makes it all the way back down the staircase to find me sitting on the bottom riser at 3 hit points! First thing I do is turn to the party and say, "Yep, I scared 'em to death. Damn, I'm good." As the cleric hits me with a cure critical.
The whole party broke down laughing, except the guy playing the wizard, who kept insisting he had killed the Vrock. And (in-character), Joachim placed his hand on the little guys shoulder. "And aren't you out of spells for the day, Artos?"
"Well, no, I still got feather fall left, but yes, no attack spells."
"Good, then it's settled. I killed the demon, scared him to death. I'd hate to get mad at a spell-caster that ain't got no spells left for the day because he just told me I fell 120' when I didn't have to."
And Artos blinked twice, before he said. "Yep, you scared him to death."
I just grinned at the group, and they started laughing again. God, that character was so much fun!
Master Arminas
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The avatar of a deity promised us a reward. We accomplished its task. It tried to stiff us. My character told him that if he didn't pay up he would punch the avatar right in the face. The avatar replied "I don't think you can."
This marked the second time Eon had ever punched the avatar of a god in the face for being a jerk.
Exalted is a breading ground for awesomeness of this variety. Mako-tears-flesh, my solar pirate in our western campaign was a rich sources of awesome stunts, as I set my self an Oulipian constraints of never making an attack in combat unless I considered it worthy of a two dice stunt.
She has a wavecleaver Daiklave, which with nasty back barb sticking out at 90 degrees from the back of the blade. This feature of the blade was often used in stunts. She also wore a pair of god-kicking boots
Two stunts remain foremost in my mind.
"Mako grins evilly at the god-blooded for a moment, her posture relaxed, not sign of the furry that is about to be unleashed. Then in the blink of an eye she has covered half the distance between them, before her circle mates even register that carnage is about to ensue. She 'monkey climbs higher technique', and a swirl of essence burns around her in the blood red glow of a solar eclipses corona, motes forming the name of each of the charms contained within her signiture combo. As she comes into strike range of the startled god-blooded, her body twists, and leg raises, as though forming into a round house, the startled god blooded starts to pull back away from the blow in an attempt to dodge the jade boot of doom. Mako laughs manicly as her leg tucks back in she is carried round full circle by her momentum, Blood in the water arking up and round over her should before swooping, down past her hip, and connecting spike first with the good bloodeds chin. The god blooded is lifted form the ground by the force of the blow, before collapsing to the ground like a rag doll."
"Mako screams in rage, charging into the fang legionairs, smashing into the heart of the squad. She twists and draws 'blood in the water' through a long over-head ark, slamming its barb into the helm of a legionary. Even before he realises he is dead, she hoops up onto the blades hilt, light as a feather, and springs in a smooth backflip, landing foot first with the force of a falling star, on the face of fang startled fang leader, who's startled orders are cut short by the sound of shattering bone."
One of my players had his barbarian take a running leap off a cliff to land on the top of an out-of-reach beholder so he could kill it.
good stuff..
I already gave you a favorite, but you deserve a +1 as well. +1
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I'm playing a Half-Orc Barbarian named Grundar. He always had his trusty great axe with him wherever he went and the DM would constantly throw enemies at us that would either fly, or use ranged attacks. Anyways we are fighting this band of rogues on some rooftops and they are being led by an Ogre Mage. I charge in and fight both it and one of the rogues. I end up killing the rogue and proceed to cleave into the Ogre Mage. After I roll my damage, the DM smiles and says "he still has one HP left" . It then makes a concentration check and flys between two buildings. My turn comes up again and the DM asks "what are you going to do?". So I sit there for a second and wonder just that. One of the other players asked me what I had available. I said, "well, I have my great axe and I have a dead rogue". This realitization helped me decide what I was going to do. I tell the DM, "I throw the dead rogue at it". The smile drops from his face and he replies "are you proficient in dead rogue?". Which of course I wasn't, who is? So I take a -4 penalty to hit and make my attack roll. Nat 20! The DM is just flabbergasted at this point asks, "how much damage does a dead rogue do?". We determined that regardless of the amount of damage or even the type (non-lethal versus lethal) the Ogre Mage would get a concentration check to stay flying. The DM rolls a 2 and the Ogre Mage dies from falling damage to which I exclaim "That one's mine!".
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This one requires a good deal of DM fiat and screwing with the mechanics but it was too good to pass up.
At one point in my latest campaign the party ends up playing a game (basically wizard's chess with them as pieces) against the Big Bad's animated board. They lose but, to see what would happen, rewind the game a couple moves. In this scenario they win.
At this point one of the players starts arguing that under quantum mechanics both outcomes happened in alternate universes and with a plane shift and natural 20 on his Knowledge Planes check manages to transfer his character from the universe where they won to the universe where they lost. This is so incredible the two immediately high five.
In return I point out that clearly one of them must be made of antimatter so when they touch they cancel each other out and take the universe with them.
That in turn is countered by the request for a will save to withstand the end of all things, channel that force to his design and create the universe anew in his image. Sure, why not. Of course, natural 20 passes the save (Whose DC I had ad hocced to be unpassable) and the character becomes overgod of his own reality thankfully separate from the one I was running.
The up shot of this for the party is that, though the character has been erased from their reality and now has never even been (which was strange for his brother), the only remaining reality is the one in which they won the challenge. So they take their victory and move on with the campaign.
Is what happened technically possible under the rules? Heck no.
Was it far too awesome not to happen? Heck yes.
That's pretty cool Mathias!
I note that most stories of the crazy happen with barbarian characters. They are just such an awesome class ;) - case in point:
1. A friend of mine played a barbarian of the suicidal nature. Some of you may know a high-level shadow dragon in Crimson Throne? Well, that dragon had the whole party scared and running. Except my friend's barbarian who said: "Watch this." Then stepped into the darkness (in which he couldn't see), took some turns to find the dragon (by way of attack of opportunity), took some crazy full-round damage, and proceeded to single-handedly slay the dragon. That he couldn't see. Eventually he dragged out the decapitated dragon's head while the rest of us stood there with our mouths open.
2. Different adventure path, different barbarian: Vorn Torakson, come to reclaim ancient dwarven burial grounds in Westcrown (Council of Thieves) accompanies some new friends to an abandoned Pathfinder Lodge. Everything goes well - until the party runs afoul of the dreaded TPK machine, that shadow triceratops. It proceeded to lay waste to our HPs. Vorn jumped from the top of a giant aquarium to assault the creature to save the party bard (who otherwise wouldn't have gotten anywhere with his remaining 3hp) - then Vorn discovered that he needed saving himself as the thing ate through his hitpoints as if they were candyfloss. Vorn decided that this was it and called out to his friends: "Get the hell out of here. I'll hold this thing off as long as I can." The party runs and Vorn still stands (and by stand I mean he's prone) the next time he gets to act. Then proceeds to win the day by rolling two successful critical hits in a row (and bypassing the associate 50% miss chance on each).
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Heh. A few different episodes come to mind.
First off, Babylon 5, we were trying to sneak into a very large government compound at night. Everything seemed good to go, except one thing: The on-duty gate guard needed to be distracted. So, my character takes it on herself to do this. She buys a sports car, and crashes it into a tree on the other side of the road outside the compound. She is hospitalised, but does survive, and with a quick hospital raid after the compound mission, they drag her morphine-addled body to their ship.
Second, a twi'lek jedi girl in the Dawn of Defiance campaign finds herself struggling to comprehend the workings of her shielded starfighter as the group is attacked by TIE fighters. She decides that while firing is difficult, steering is easier - and TIEs do not have shields. Ramming the other ship works beautifully, but sets her out of commission pretty effectively as the ship powers down around her.
Finally, the absolute worst thing I ever did in a RPG has to be another twi'lek girl, this one about as homicidally psychopathic as people come, who had been captured by the police and sitting in their hovercar. Tearing off a skin patch, she primed a frag grenade and tossed it into the front seat. Amazingly, she survived both that and the resultant fall by jumping and smashing into another hovercar. As she threw the grenade, however, she had no idea there would be one nearby.
Yes, I do stupid things when I play. If a character is boring, it's worse than dead anyway.
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I was running a campaign where the players were fighting to stop a hobgoblin army. They had to destroy a small fort that the enemy had built over a trade road.
One of the players was running a gnome ninja who had died and been reincarnated as a goblin, but didn't, at that point, speak goblin. He decided to try and infiltrate the fort. When the hobgoblin guard challenged him, he replied in common. The guard asked him in common "Why don't you speak goblin?" His reply - "I'm from the south, it's a different dialect." I get him to roll a bluff with a total of 21, and rule that his story is unlikely it incurs a -20 penalty. The guard has no ranks in sense motive, but rolls a natural 1. With his wisdom of 8 that takes him down to 0 so he believes the ruse, opens the gate and lets the goblin in!
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Once upon a time during a Seventh Sea campaign, I played a brash Eisen who suffered from a disadvantage that granted the GM the ability to force the player to take a course of action that the player discusses as an option during table-talk.
We started an expensive, impressivly produced adventure path style boxed set. The planned story arc first exposes the players to the arch-villain during a gala ball, importantly set many stories high up in a gothic structure.
As me and the other players talked out-of-character about how this obese, pompous NPC coming into the ball was obviously our future villain, I said how funny it would be if we just threw him out a window here and now.
And the GM decided to trigger my brashness disadvantage, and committed my character to the ill-advised idea.
With no time to plan something smartly, as if murdering a prominent member of high society in front of hundreds of witnesses ever COULD be smartly planned.. I simply introduced myself and invited his portliness to accompany me to the fine buffet table, conveniently near giant stained glass windows.. and in front of the horrified party and assembled guests, heaved the not-yet-revealed-yet-suspected-nonetheless villain out to his messy end a hundred feet below.
Luckily for me the highly cinematic nature of the game system allowed me to survive the immediate fallout of my character's brash actions, but the GM was then forced to figure out how to play the rest of the expensive, spiffy boxed adventure after he made me literally throw the planned story arc out the window...
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First level adventure. The party is supposed to sneak into an ogre mage's lair on a glacier and steal back a MacGuffin. We had a scroll to teleport us all out of there once we found the MacGuffin, and we were never expected to actually attack the ogre mage.
But the party, bumbling around, wakes him. We get the MacGuffin, but then find ourselves about to face the wrath of this beast. So my PC, a halfling fighter, offers a deal: Let the others go, and I'll stay as his slave. The ogre mage liked that, and agreed. He immediately demanded I give him my armor and weapons, which I did. No big deal, I thought, when I say good bye to everyone, we activate the teleport scroll and stiff the ogre.
But the rest of the party bumbles that, making it clear that they're up to something fishy. So the ogre mage grabs me and descends deeper into his lair, away from the rest of the party.
So what do I do? I bite the ogre's wrist.
What follows is a huge, rock'em, sock'em battle between an ogre mage and an unarmed, unarmored, first-level halfling fighter. Yet through luck and sheer determination, I manage to dive under his table, drop a kettle of boiling water on his head, evade capture, and climb up his chimney and out into the glacial wilderness. To my dismay, it turns out to be a featureless wasteland of ice--there's no good way to hide there. The mage floats up the chimney, finds me, grabs me, and lifts me up, dangling me over my mouth, sick of me making a fool of him, ready to just eat me.
I grab a scroll case off his belt, and in that position, jam it down his throat. The ogre mage begins to choke.
The rest of the party stares in awe.
I wish I could say the rest ended well, but he eventually recovers and slays the halfling fighter with his sword. But you know? That's one of the best ways I've ever had a PC die.
dotting! this thread is awesome.
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This isn't a huge one, but here it is anyway:
My companions and I were in a building as the corrupt town guard was beating on the doors demanding to be let in so they could kill a guy we were rescuing. As the guards began working on breaking down the front door, we all got ready to focus-fire on them as they came in.
After a while, though, more guards started beating on the side door. Realizing that having them break through two doors at once could be an issue, I decided they'd get in on my terms instead of theirs. I walked over to the side doors and opened them, revealing two somewhat surprised guards.
"Hi," I said. "I'm Cledwyn".
I then proceeded to beat them to a pulp.
As I drew my bow to deal with the guards beating on the other side door, I noticed that their determination had turned to panic: ghouls were approaching, and the guards now sought shelter in the building.
The captain of the guard reached my door and began to try and fight his way past me. Meanwhile, two ghouls approached; one attacked me and one attacked him.
I smiled at the captain.
"Enjoy the ghouls!"
And then I shut the door.
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A few heroes I've played and some of their more foolha..er, uh, glorious moments:
Turkemur "Turk" Gwar ( Half-Orc Brb 1/Cle of Gorum 5) dove into the salty waters of a sea cave and wrestled and punched a killer whale to death with a pair of spiked gauntlets at a depth of 20 feet while holding his breath. Upon surfacing, Turk was heard to remark he had "freed Willy from this mortal coil."
Cypher (Warforged Duskblade 6/Green Star Adept 2) bulldogged a rakshasa sorceress through the seventh-floor, stained-glass window of a cathedral into the middle of a dinner party in the courtyard below. (The GM informed us the building was a holy site and rewarded Cypher's moxie by ruling the broken shards of glass did both good and piercing damage.)
Savantra "Redcoat" Blackbird (Chaos Gnome Jester 14) dropped a portable hole into a bag of holding while standing adjacent to the three strongest members of her party while facing a campaign-ending BBEG. The remaining members of the party were quickly reduced to ash and the world was plunged into darkness and despair. Nobody else got the joke.
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In an Eberron game the half-Orc Ranger Trapper Jim got plucked from an airship by a red dragon.
Me (GM): "Your turn Trapper, what do you do?"
Trapper: "I tie myself to the Dragon with my rope."
Me: "What?"
Trapper: "I wouldn't want him to get away! Now I spend two action points for an extra standard action. Then I use my dagger to stab him! Stab him to death!"
RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32
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It all started when we realized it was my character's birthday. He was a gnome alchemist, and an inventor of wacky stuff. He couldn't hold his liquor though, and after a could of birthday drinks he passed out. Dragging him back to the hotel, the party spotted the kender tavern owner talking to a large cloaked figure. My character was dropped when the figure attacked.
It was decided that my gnome woke up, and because I the player wasn't really paying attention, I just fire bombed the kender, who was running away screaming. I then went into the nearest room, locked it, and built an exploding trap.
When the barbarian broke the door down, it went off and deal 5 points of damage to him and they found my character passed out under the mattress.
Latter in that game, my character started to burn down an entire village just so he could rebuild it. We never played that game after that.
I recall many sweet stunts my players pulled off, but here's one I particularly enjoyed.
The Cast
Vardamir - a 1/2 celestial (base human) double-bladed sword wielding ranger/fighter
Dorn - a dwarven barbarian/rogue
Zelmar - an elven ranger/fighter
Situation:
The trio are decending deeper and deeper into a massive fissure that appeared after an earthquake - the fissure was so wide that an entire town had dropped down into it.
As they decend further into the depths of the world, they come to a point where the broken ledge/path they are following abruptly ends as a gigantic piece of earth tore the next fifty feet of ledge away.
On the other side of the gap, the ledge is considerably wider and filled with crossbow wielding kobolds.
Zelmar immediately starts shooting at the large number of kobolds, his arrows blasting through one kobold only to carry through and slay the one behind it.
Meanwhile, Dorn fishes 100ft of silk rope out of his pack and hands one end of it to Vardamir. Vardamir then flies 30 ft up and 25 feet out and drives one end of his double-bladed sword (all the way up to the hilt) into the earthen wall and then ties the rope to the handle.
On the next round, Dorn leaps into the air hanging onto the rope, swings across the gap bellowing loudly, and lands like a cannonball in the midst of the kobolds, his massive greataxe drawn and ready.
The next round, we bore witness to the greatest use of the old Great Cleave feat we've ever seen, as Dorn dropped all 8 kobolds which had surrounded him. The few that remained at this point were blasted away by Zelmar's titanic bow shots or from Vardamir's spell-like abilities (he didn't bother retrieving his sword until after the fight).
It was, in a word, glorious.
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We're fighting a spellcasting beasty that's hanging from the rafters 20 feet above us. Our ranger and monk are climbing the walls to get up there and grapple it, my barbarian has his composite bow out, one guy's using a reach weapon to try and hit it like a pinata, but we're having a hell of a time getting past its really tough AC.
The druid has a worse bonus to hit than anyone else in the group, so he really he doesn't stand a prayer, and decides to do something nuts instead of a normal attack.
"I throw my badger at it."
He's low enough level that the companion animal's still small sized, and thus, light enough to reasonably be thrown by the druid of average strength. So the DM warns him that if he does this, the badger will never let the druid pick him up again, and the druid insists on trying it.
The DM rules that he just needs to hit touch AC to get the badger up to the bad guy, but then the (now raging) badger has to hit a bite attack to latch on to the sucker and damage it. The touch attack to get the badger up there is an easy roll, so that part works. And for the badger's bite attack - natural 20!
Eventually, the ranger and barbarian manage to hit with natural 20's also (no crit confirms, due to the tough AC), so we managed to kill the thing, but the badger still hasn't quite forgiven the druid for that one.
But the funniest part is that after it was over, somebody remembered that badgers can climb. So throwing it really wasn't necessary in order to get it up to the rafters to help with the fight.
The image of a raging badger sailing through the air followed by a "Get 'im, buddy!" from his formerly-trusted druid friend keeps making me lol.
... so we managed to kill the thing, but the badger still hasn't quite forgiven the druid for that one.
Yup... who knows, some day that ol' badger may decide to get the Druid back in some way. ;-) It's become common-place to hear the phrase "launch badger!" when we roll for initiative.
this one happened a couple months back.
playing a 10th level human fighter with some feats from 3.5, so my guy is rocking out all sorts of damage from using a two handed warhammer (the longhorn greathammer) and two-weapon feats.
In an adventure inspired by Dante's divine comedy, the party treked into hell to let asmodean know what is going on with one of his underlings. needless to say, we get to the 3rd tier and our way is blocked by a named Devil, whose name eludes me. Our cleric tries to run past him to get into the small cave found behind this devil. the devil makes an AOO and kicks the cleric back down the path and proceeds to hurl a boulder at the cleric. it hits the cleric and doesnt bounce. So i am up next in the initiave order. and in game, it goes like this...
current buffs: enlarge person; belt of giant strength +6, and true strike potion; and my hammer had an unnamed +6 str bonus.
me:so we have to get past this guy and across this big-ass river on the other side.
DM: correct.
me:Whats the boulder made out of?
DM: Solid iron with spikes. Going to push the boulder off the cleric? ill need a strength check.
Me: Nah, Im gonna happy gilmore it across the river. how far is it?
DM, a shocked look on his face: ummmm...2,000 feet from you to the other shoreline.
Me: ok. so, since its obvious that im aiming for land, the AC is 10.
DM: true, but lets instead say that your not rolling to hit the land, your rolling to see how far you hit it. So if you roll a one, it only goes the minimum distance, 300 feet. anything above that is 50 feet extra, so you will need at least a total of 34. roll...
so, i rolled an 18. 18+20(true strike)+a bunch of other things... i ended up with a total over 50.
Laughter erupts from the table as the DM explains:
"you hit the boulder, with the cleric still pinned and attached to it, up out of the shallow canyon, high over the river, past the swampy marshland and into the city Styx itself."
a small voice pipes up from the end of the table did the cleric survive?
grrrr...stupid website....
ill sum up.
My human fighter launched a boulder with cleric still pinned under it up out of a canyon, across the river, and had it land in a city....
the novel is much funnier, but im not typing that thing again...
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Star Wars WEG d6, playing a human Jedi. Ran off of a perfectly sound building in order to land on a speeding YT:1300 freighter that had the son of one of his friends. Thanks to a large number of 6s on the wild die, I not only made the leap successfully, I managed to grapple a hold of the ship and maintain my grip. Fortunately I had the ultimate can-opener.
2E DnD, our group got teleported to the top of a Mountain. We had a couple axes, a few picks, and some swords. Everyone was trying to figure out what to do, so I made a wisecrack about cutting down a tree and use it to make a toboggin so that we could ride down the mountain. I knew it was ridiculous when I said it, yet everyone started going with it. It wasn't long before we had our toboggin and were careening down the mountain...past the 7 or 8 sessions worth of planning that the GM had arranged. He should've just had the thing crash, but went with it as well.
2E, I was playing an Elven Thief, Cidorne, that had a knack for getting the group into trouble way over their heads. Why did they keep him around? Because I would come up with these ridiculous plans that would work despite everything to the contrary - OK, they amused the GM as muchas anything else. Like the one time we were exploring what we thought was an abondoned temple to our homebrew God of Spells and Research - Rubidium. As it turned out, a tribe of Gnolls had taken up residency in the halls and caverns beneath the temple. My brilliant plan to deal with the Gnolls - trick them into thinking I was Rubidium. The cleric/mage and fighter/mage had to protect me from Fire as best as they could. Then when I got into position, they were supposed to each cast a Fireball that overlapped with me in the Middle. I manage to find a place where my display would be seen by many and none would get hurt. It worked awesomely. This was also the same thief that confounded a Dragon with riddles in return for not killing him and his companions - we thought it was asleep.
The craziest stunt I ever pulled was probably in my last session. My tiefling paladin was a bit of a loudmouthed rogue despite being lawful good, and there was a bit of a conversation about her behavior and her patron deity. It eventually got to the point where my paladin finally went "You know what? Screw these idiot deities. I'll make my own damn religion." An NPC was all like "What, you're gonna take the Test of the Starstone (a test any individual in Golarion to take that allows them to become a deity if they succeed)?" My answer? "You know what? I think I will."
The GM just stared at me for a while before finally saying "If you do this, you will never play as that character again." I told him this was fine, and we made our way to Absalom. The test was just a series knowledge and intelligence rolls, but I succeeded on every single one, and became a damned goddess. Sure, I lost the character, but pulling a Cayden Calien was totally worth it.
I was DMing this about 2 years ago. I think the party was a half-orc barbarian, 2 dawrven orc fighers (they were brothers) and a human monk (named Zebot, who gave us one of the greatest recurring jokes in history in the form of Zebot's Pole, a 10 foot pole that became magical and sentient, and hated Zebot). The player's were evil, and had a lot of gold. One of the dwarves said "I'm gonna buy a ton of oil from every place in town. and Ale." He stached the ale outside of town, then put barrels and barrels of oil in the sewers under the main square in a city. He lit the fuse and the party ran like hell, all the way to the sewer exit where the ale was. They poured a mug, then watched the fireworks.