Overheard at the Paizo office

[Sara Marie]

christopher: Because you like playing Russian Roulette with your sanity?

[Gentleman Nurn]

Sanity is a playground for the unimaginative, yeeesssss.

[Chris Lambertz]

Ashley why people should be jealous of working here: dancing with cosmo while he is chair-assisted twerking to "shots."

[havoc xiii]

Sara Marie wrote:

christopher: Because you like playing Russian Roulette with your sanity?

I feel like that at work everyday...

[Tels]

Chris Lambertz wrote:

Ashley why people should be jealous of working here: dancing with cosmo while he is chair-assisted twerking to "shots."

The fact that Cosmo is twerking in the office is something that makes me NOT want to work at Paizo. I mean, what kind of abominable act of horror could make Cosmo twerk?

Whatever it is, it's probably so horrifying and alien, even Cthulhu flees from it.

[Set]

Maybe Cosmo is twerking to repel some Mythos invasion of Paizo?

I'd imagine even a Hound of Tindalos would claw it's own eyes out (if it had eyes) in an attempt to un-see that!

"They're coming out of the walls! Multiple signals, above and behind! Twerk faster, Cosmo, twerk faster!"

[Orthos]

This is the most hilariously disturbing thing I've ever read.

[Lamontius]

that poor chair

[Sara Marie]

gary: as long as cosmo keeps twerking it'll all be ok

[Sara Marie]

cosmo: I'm Twerking it with all that I've got, Captain! If I twerk it any harder, she's gonna blow!

[Sara Marie]

cs erik: Its not everyday that reading something on the messageboards causes nausea.

[Tels]

So, now that Cosmo is twerking, who is better? Cosmo? Or Miley Cyrus?

[Sara Marie]

liz: I have a desire for a zergling animal companion and hydralisk mount. Is this so wrong?

[Drejk]

Sara Marie wrote:

liz: I have a desire for a zergling animal companion and hydralisk mount. Is this so wrong?

What could be wrong with that? Beyond possible problems with proper grooming and feeding of either one.

[Set]

Sara Marie wrote:

liz: I have a desire for a zergling animal companion and hydralisk mount. Is this so wrong?

You can never have just one zergling. This is the place for a Broodmaster.

[Ashley Kaprielian]

Sara Marie wrote:

liz: I have a desire for a zergling animal companion and hydralisk mount. Is this so wrong?

SPAWN MORE OVERLORDS!

[Liz Courts]

Ashley Gillaspie wrote:

Sara Marie wrote:

liz: I have a desire for a zergling animal companion and hydralisk mount. Is this so wrong?

SPAWN MORE OVERLORDS!

I AM ZERG.

[zergtitan]

Hearing your conversations makes me wish I worked with you guys. Do you have a spot open for a guy with an undergraduate degree. With a major in Anthropology(archeology focus) and a minor in European Studies(Antiquities focus)?

Just wondering.

[Scribbling Rambler]

zergtitan wrote:

Hearing your conversations makes me wish I worked with you guys. Do you have a spot open for a guy with an undergraduate degree. With a major in Anthropology(archeology focus) and a minor in European Studies(Antiquities focus)?

Just wondering.

In the column to the left, there is a link for "Job Opportunities" where they usually post any openings.

Just do not, for the love of God, answer the one for "Twerking Partner"

[SnowJade]

AAAggghhh...mental floss....

[Gary Teter]

sara: i think i found my patron animal
sara: cute AND EVIL

[Lamontius]

chupacabra?

[Scribbling Rambler]

Gary Teter wrote:

sara: i think i found my patron animal

sara: cute AND EVIL

Liz Courts?

[thunderspirit]

Scribbling Rambler wrote:

Gary Teter wrote:

sara: i think i found my patron animal

sara: cute AND EVIL

Liz Courts?

That would be cute, evil, and cute, though, wouldn't it?

[Sara Marie]

Scribbling Rambler wrote:

Gary Teter wrote:

sara: i think i found my patron animal

sara: cute AND EVIL

Liz Courts?

She doesn't fall into the patron animal category. More like cohort. And there would be some serious debate as to who would be whose cohort.

[Ross Byers]

Party members.

[Sara Marie]

gary: gleeful code smashery

[Sara Marie]

cs erik: my friend just shot me a text... "Hey Erik, how much damage does a housecat do in Pathfinder?"

cs erik: "One nyan-lethal damage"

[Lamontius]

depends on if you have hardwood floors or carpet

[Set]

Sara Marie wrote:

cs erik: my friend just shot me a text... "Hey Erik, how much damage does a housecat do in Pathfinder?"

The Str modifier depends on whether you are wielding it with both hands, or one hand, or dual-wielding housecats.

[Drock11]

zergtitan wrote:

Hearing your conversations makes me wish I worked with you guys. Do you have a spot open for a guy with an undergraduate degree. With a major in Anthropology(archeology focus) and a minor in European Studies(Antiquities focus)?

Just wondering.

I would even be willing to work there as a janitor if I lived closer.

Well that and if it wasn't for the fact I'm too scared to contemplate what people like Cosmo and Wes would have me cleaning up. Then there is cleaning up after the raptors and feeding them. On the plus side feeding them would probably make disposing of certain things for other people easier.

I would be scared of forever being lost in the warehouse, but I can just think of that reality hopping trip as an adventure and part of the charm. Still, being able to work there to interact with the people would make forever scaring my sanity worth it, especially if they threw in free Pathfinder material as part of the job.

Those free cupcakes also seem enticing if somebody of any rank can get in on them. Besides somebody needs to be there to make sure the orange ones aren't neglected. People also have to admit that it would be a great idea to make sure there is another person there to make sure the coffee never goes out and everybody has the ability to be over caffeinated let alone not running out thus greatly lessening the potential atrocities that might come about in the surrounding community.

If they throw in a raptor rider prestige class as part of their benefits package once I reach a certain level of experience I might just pick up and move out there right now. I won't even ask for armor spike barding.

[Drejk]

Hehhe. Be the janitor in Paizo... Or night watchman. One can dream :D

[thunderspirit]

Drejk wrote:

Hehhe. Be the janitor in Paizo... Or night watchman. One can dream :D

Especially if at night it becomes Night at the Museum. :-D

[Readerbreeder]

thunderspirit wrote:

Drejk wrote:

Hehhe. Be the janitor in Paizo... Or night watchman. One can dream :D

Especially if at night it becomes Night at the Museum. :-D

Exactly what I thought... can you imagine the shenanigans one could get into at Paizo with the Tablet of Amun-Ra (at least I think that's what it was called)?

[Tels]

Do keep in mind, if one were to activate the Tablet at Paizo, they would have hordes of Goblin plushies and minis to deal with. Think about all the battle minis that might come into being. Do you really want a 6 inch tall dragon flying around breathing fire and casting spells?

The amount of destruction that would be unleashed... it's unfathomable. Probably also part of Cosmo's plan.

[SnowJade]

Hordes of twerking miniatures....

[Jiggy]

I don't know what "twerking" is, but I'm afraid to Google it. 8(

[Sara Marie]

cosmo: d'oh... that didn't work

[Tels]

Jiggy wrote:

I don't know what "twerking" is, but I'm afraid to Google it. 8(

Basically, it's a (and I use this word loosely) 'dance' move. Keep your legs more or less straight (but spread apart) and bend over till you can touch the ground (or use a wall). Then jiggle your butt.

That's about it in a nutshell.

[Sara Marie]

gary: today's product idea [redacted]

sara marie: ...
sara marie: no
sara marie: absolutely
sara marie: positively
sara marie: not
sara marie: NO
sara marie: NONONONONONONO
...
sara marie: I forbid this.

gary: man, take all the fun out of things

sara marie: That's why I am a manager!

[Lamontius]

Tels, that was about as awkward as the time I watched an episode of Sex and the City with my Mom and my Baba

[Drejk]

Sara Marie wrote:

gary: today's product idea [redacted]

sara marie: ...
sara marie: no
sara marie: absolutely
sara marie: positively
sara marie: not
sara marie: NO
sara marie: NONONONONONONO
...
sara marie: I forbid this.

gary: man, take all the fun out of things

sara marie: That's why I am a manager!

Was that "No! It's terrible!" or "No! I must resist agreeing to that idea beautiful insanity?!"

[Tels]

Lamontius wrote:

Tels, that was about as awkward as the time I watched an episode of Sex and the City with my Mom and my Baba

Awkward? Hmm, the fact that you are posting right now tells me that you are not picturing Cosmo jiggling his butt.

Of course, you are picturing that right now, so problem solved!

[Kilrex]

Tels wrote:

Lamontius wrote:

Tels, that was about as awkward as the time I watched an episode of Sex and the City with my Mom and my Baba

Awkward? Hmm, the fact that you are posting right now tells me that you are not picturing Cosmo jiggling his butt.

Of course, you are picturing that right now, so problem solved!

At least he isn't imagining Cosmo twerking using a stainless steel pole; wearing cowboy boots, daisy dukes, and his shirt knotted to expose his belly all whilst wearing a propeller hat.

[Hordshyrd]

Kilrex wrote:

Tels wrote:

Lamontius wrote:

Tels, that was about as awkward as the time I watched an episode of Sex and the City with my Mom and my Baba

Awkward? Hmm, the fact that you are posting right now tells me that you are not picturing Cosmo jiggling his butt.

Of course, you are picturing that right now, so problem solved!

At least he isn't imagining Cosmo twerking using a stainless steel pole; wearing cowboy boots, daisy dukes, and his shirt knotted to expose his belly all whilst wearing a propeller hat.

How told you about those p-... I mean what are we talking about today guys?

[Sara Marie]

cosmo: Last time I tried that I got arrested

[Sara Marie]

money chris: that image will never be scrubbed from my head

[Sara Marie]

gary: All I know is that all the talk about cosmo twerking needs to stop.

[Orthos]

+1

[Cosmo]

*wiggle*