| Vanykrye |
| 6 people marked this as a favorite. |
Vic Wertz wrote:Why do I have the feeling that 1 and 2 are the same person and they're just monologuing?[Redacted 1]: If it's that secret, it won't even show up in a background check.
[Redacted 2]: That's the only reason I have a job...
Why do I feel it's just Vic covering for himself, and yet it's still Cosmo's fault?
| Feros |
| Steve Geddes |
| 8 people marked this as a favorite. |
A possum fell on me once. I somehow managed to catch it and it was all wide-eyed, trembling and scared. That lasted about a round, at which point it launched itself at my face and sank its teeth into my cheek, locking its jaws and going from cute, cuddly and adorable to savage little bastard in the blink of an eye. :o
Edit: that didn’t get censored so is presumably okay. Read it in an Australian accent and it’s definitely not offensive. If this font is American, I guess you might have to delete it...
| Feros |
| 8 people marked this as a favorite. |
A possum fell on me once. I somehow managed to catch it and it was all wide-eyed, trembling and scared. That lasted about a round, at which point it launched itself at my face and sank its teeth into my cheek, locking its jaws and going from cute, cuddly and adorable to savage little bastard in the blink of an eye. :o
Edit: that didn’t get censored so is presumably okay. Read it in an Australian accent and it’s not offensive. If this font is American, I guess you’ll have to delete it...
It's Australia, Steve. Of course it was trying to kill you.
;)
| David knott 242 |
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Rysky wrote:Sara Marie wrote:Sam: No matter what else happens today, I have learned that an opossum and possum are different animals. Today is a win.Wait whatBoth are cute, furry, marsupials, but that's where the connection ends.
It doesn't help that Americans who live in areas where opossums are prevalent frequently refer to them as "possums".
Set
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| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
Rysky wrote:Sara Marie wrote:Sam: No matter what else happens today, I have learned that an opossum and possum are different animals. Today is a win.Wait whatBoth are cute, furry, marsupials, but that's where the connection ends.
I had no idea that Australia had their own possums, and that, as expected, they are vicious and probably venomous...
Rysky
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| 3 people marked this as a favorite. |
Feros wrote:Rysky wrote:Sara Marie wrote:Sam: No matter what else happens today, I have learned that an opossum and possum are different animals. Today is a win.Wait whatBoth are cute, furry, marsupials, but that's where the connection ends.
I had no idea that Australia had their own possums, and that, as expected, they are vicious and probably venomous...
Actually there was mixup, Australia got the cute cuddly ones and we got the murder screamers.
| Souls At War |
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Rysky wrote:Was it clever? Absolutely! Was it a pun? Definitely not. Because good people don't pun, so I would never pun.Sara Marie wrote:Diego: If someone draws pictures of OSHA violations, are they NSFW?*gasp*
Diego used PUN.
Diego hurt himself in his confusion!
Just admit you submited fell to the Dork side already.
Rysky
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| 4 people marked this as a favorite. |
Rysky wrote:Was it clever? Absolutely! Was it a pun? Definitely not. Because good people don't pun, so I would never pun.Sara Marie wrote:Diego: If someone draws pictures of OSHA violations, are they NSFW?*gasp*
Diego used PUN.
Diego hurt himself in his confusion!
Ah yes, the "No True Leshy" fallacy.
Sara Marie
Customer Service & Community Manager
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| 10 people marked this as a favorite. |
Erik K.: I need to get you a pair of my frog gloves as well Diego.
Diego: Why are you making frogs into gloves!?
Ron: Nobody toad him not to.
Ron: It makes him hoppy to do it.
Ron: I'm jumping all over these puns.
Diego: Quits this chat forever
Ron: They're ker-mittens.
Erik K.: If I said I hadn't considered a joke or two myself I'd be amphibian.
Katina: Normally I'd leapfrog all over these puns, but I'm a tad polite.
Rei: diego would rather croak than hear your puns.
Linda: are you hopping mad, Diego?
| CrystalSeas |
| 7 people marked this as a favorite. |
Me: [puts up a sign that says "STOP! Mom is in a meeting until 1:45pm. Emergencies only"]
You can borrow my three-part rule:
"Mom, it's a 'mergency!!"Me: "Is everyone still breathing?"
Kid: "Yeah"
Me: "Is everyone still conscious?"
Kid: "Yeah"
Me: "Is anyone bleeding really really bad?"
Kid: "No"
Me: "Then it's not an emergency. I'll be done in 30 minutes"
Rei Ko
Director of Technology
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| 5 people marked this as a favorite. |
Sara Marie wrote:Me: [puts up a sign that says "STOP! Mom is in a meeting until 1:45pm. Emergencies only"]You can borrow my three-part rule:
"Mom, it's a 'mergency!!"Me: "Is everyone still breathing?"
Kid: "Yeah"Me: "Is everyone still conscious?"
Kid: "Yeah"Me: "Is anyone bleeding really really bad?"
Kid: "No"Me: "Then it's not an emergency. I'll be done in 30 minutes"
I've also had this rule with teams before when I'm crunching for a super important meeting or something similar. "Unless it's fire, flood, blood, or site down, please don't bother me until I come out."
Rysky
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| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
Me: [puts up a sign that says "STOP! Mom is in a meeting until 1:45pm. Emergencies only"]
about 1:20pm...
child: MOM... MOM.... MOM.... MOM! .... MOMMOMOMOMOMOM!!!!
me: What does the sign on the door say!
child: BUT IT'S AN EMERGENCY!!!
me: opens door
child: wanna watch my pokemon evolve?
Who in the meeting asked what Pokémon it was?
| xobmaps |
Me: [puts up a sign that says "STOP! Mom is in a meeting until 1:45pm. Emergencies only"]
about 1:20pm...
child: MOM... MOM.... MOM.... MOM! .... MOMMOMOMOMOMOM!!!!
me: What does the sign on the door say!
child: BUT IT'S AN EMERGENCY!!!
me: opens door
child: wanna watch my pokemon evolve?
Thank you so much.