Corrupt the Wish


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Sovereign Court

Weaponbreaker wrote:
I wish I had a fast convertible, an open road and the sun at my back!

Granted. Unfortunately, the open road is in the desert and the sun at your back reflects off your fast convertible's rear view mirror directly into your eyes blinding you. As you were going in excess of 160mph, when you reach for your eyes, the car swerves and you accidentally attempt to jump the Grand Canyon. Just like Evil Knievel. But without the audience. Or the safety equipment.

I wish my truck was in perfect condition and street legal.


zylphryx wrote:
I wish my truck was in perfect condition and street legal.

Your truck is now perfect and street legal. The new owner sure put a lot of work in to it.

I wish I could go to Gencon.

Sovereign Court

gran rey de los mono wrote:
I wish I could go to Gencon.

Granted. You now have the ability to go to GenCon ... in 2047.

I wish time didn't fly when you were having fun.


zylphryx wrote:
I wish time didn't fly when you were having fun.

Time no longer flies while you are having fun. Now it teleports.

I wish I had a bulldozer.

Shadow Lodge

gran rey de los mono wrote:
zylphryx wrote:
I wish time didn't fly when you were having fun.

Time no longer flies while you are having fun. Now it teleports.

I wish I had a bulldozer.

Done, but everyone else now have tanks. Be polite or else. Also, Taxes have gone up to pay for road repair.

I wish I had no bills to worry about.


Kerney wrote:
I wish I had no bills to worry about.

Ok, you are now a duck. I'm pretty sure ducks don't worry about their bills.

I wish I had someone to come clean my apartment for me.

Shadow Lodge

gran rey de los mono wrote:
Kerney wrote:
I wish I had no bills to worry about.

Ok, you are now a duck. I'm pretty sure ducks don't worry about their bills.

I wish I had someone to come clean my apartment for me.

Okay, some thugs come an clean out your apartment, taking all your belongings, leaving it clean.

I wish my my cats spoke perfect english.


Kerney wrote:
I wish my my cats spoke perfect english.

Your cats now speak perfect English. Now you don't and have become their pet. They aren't very attentive owners.

I wish I had been able to sleep today.


Your wish is granted. not only did you sleep all day yesterday but you slept all day today, and tomorrow, and for most of the next 50 years.

I wish I was getting paid today.


Your wish is (almost) granted. I get paid today.

I wish for wings that work.

Scarab Sages

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Your wish is granted. You are given the wings from a bluejay. They worked just before they were removed.

I wish it was tomorrow already.


Granted. Time starts acting crazy and makes tomorrow today.

I wish I had more time to read.


You now have all sorts of time to read. Unfortunately, you have forgotten how to.

I wish I had enough money that I could retire.


Granted..you now have enough money to retire.Unfortunately the government has decided to tax retiree's unearned income at 150%

I wish for the perfect woman totally devoted to my needs and pleasure.


You get Helen of Troy. She is totally devoted to your needs and pleasure. Only, she's a heap of dirt by now, some 1000 years dead by now.

I wish I didn't get my wish granted.

Sovereign Court

Sissyl wrote:
I wish I didn't get my wish granted.

Granted ... not granted ... whatever, nothing happens ... that you know of ... although you have a feeling something may have ... kinda.

I wish I could get paid a wage that provided all my needs and wants simply for playing role playing games.


Granted. You now get paid to act as a mannequin in the multi-dungeon complex known at "The Mall".

I wish I was a goblin, so I wouldn't care about no longer being able to read.


You are now a goblin,utterly obsessed with reading everything he can.This ends up with him being killed by his tribe.And getting his books burned beforehand.

I wish I had the ability to fly.


You have the ability already. Just get on a plane.

I wish I could cure all diseases.


Congratulations..you can now cure all diseases..however that is because you are a culture in a petrie dish used to research the cure all.

I wish the Pile of Dust that was Helen of Troy was ressurected at her most beautiful..and she was still totally devoted to my needs.


Wish granted! And to reassure you, she went through reincarnation with perfect health. The fact that she's now a bugbear has in no way diminished the fervor of her devotion to your needs and your pleasure.

...what's that? Resurrection, you say? Darnit, ummm...

I wish for 500 lbs of 24-carat gold in handy 10-lbs bars to be created spontaneously for me and deposited safely in my kitchen.


Done and done. The gold bubble bursts, and gold is now worthless. Except to the stupid aliens from battlefield earth.

I wish a pathfinder society would start up in the Columbus area, so that I could join! =(

Sovereign Court

userSS wrote:
I wish a pathfinder society would start up in the Columbus area, so that I could join! =(

Granted. A PFS Group forms in the Columbus one week after you job relocates you to Uruguay.

I wish I wish what I wish for would be what I wish for and not some alternate twisted wish of which I did not wish.

Shadow Lodge

zylphryx wrote:


I wish I wish what I wish for would be what I wish for and not some alternate twisted wish of which I did not wish.

Okay, you get a warm bottle of human breast milk, which is what you genuniely wished for at age 6 months (before your could speak). You got your wish and it wasn't twisted, just late.

I wish we had PFS society as often as we wish for.


Ok, you now get to play PFS as often as I wish. But since I don't play PFS, or wish to, you never get to play.

I wish someone would come and clean my apartment for free, but not steal anything.

Sovereign Court

gran rey de los mono wrote:
I wish someone would come and clean my apartment for free, but not steal anything.

Granted. While they did not steal anything, they completely rearranged your apartment and now you are unable to find anything.

I wish for whirled peas.


zylphryx wrote:
Granted. While they did not steal anything, they completely rearranged your apartment and now you are unable to find anything.

Thats OK. I can't find anything anyways.

zylphryx wrote:
I wish for whirled peas.

You are given a large bowl of whorled peas. Close enough, yeah?

I wish I had some dessert.


You have dessert,but are unable to eat it.

I wish I had a million bucks.


OK, one million 12-point bucks appear in your living room. And they're angry.

I wish I could take a nap.

Sovereign Court

gran rey de los mono wrote:
I wish I could take a nap.

Granted. Naps are now physically tangible things. You are able to take them from whoever you please.

I wish I could have more time over the course of a day.


Granted you now have all the time you want in a day..Groundhog Day.

I wish for peace on Earth

Sovereign Court

DM Wellard wrote:

Granted you now have all the time you want in a day..Groundhog Day.

I wish for peace on Earth

Woot! I love that movie!!

Granted. Humanity is forced to move underground to escape ever increasing levels of interstellar radiation, becoming Morlocks over time, waging war and consuming each other. The surface of the Earth, however, becomes very peaceful indeed.

I wish I always knew what number will come up on a roulette table in time to place a wager on the spin.


Granted! You now know exactly what number will come up, a good few minutes before bets close. Only... you still haven't found the particular table. And also, it gets pretty annoying to have sleep and every single thought interrupted by numbers shouted into your mind at full tilt.

I wish to be able to change and hold my shape to anything I wish, but only when I wish it.


Your wish is granted, but the only thing you can think of is yourself as you are now.

I wish my cat loved me more.


Granted. Your cat loves you more. Of course, since cats are evil and incapable of emotions such as love, it has transformed into a much more suitable pet. A dog.

I wish I knew what I was going to do this weekend.


You know what you are going to do this weekend...think about what you are going to do today.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

Sovereign Court

sphar wrote:
I wish I knew what to wish for.

Granted. You knew what to wish for, but the moment is lost and when you try to make a wish again, you forget what you were going to wish for.

I wish every day was Talk Like a Pirate Day.


YAAR, yer wish be granted boyo. Unfortunatly, everyday also be Smell like a Pirate Day as well.

I be wishin' fer a new crew, a tall ship, and a bright star ta steer her by.

Sovereign Court

YAAR! I BE A PIRATE! wrote:
I be wishin' fer a new crew, a tall ship, and a bright star ta steer her by.

Granted. You have a new crew, a tall ship and a bright star to steer her by. In fact, the star keeps getting brighter and bigger, ultimately smashing into your tall ship, killing your new crew and leaving you marooned on a deserted island with a horde of lemmings as your only company.

I wish I was done with work for the night.


YAAR, lemming be some good eats. Thank ye fer that.

Yer work fer the night be done, but now ye need ta be startin' on tomorrow's work.

I be wishin' fer some BBQ sauce fer me delicious lemmings.

Sovereign Court

YAAR! I BE A PIRATE! wrote:
I be wishin' fer some BBQ sauce fer me delicious lemmings.

Granted. Your lemmings now have BBQ sauce. They make sure to baste you very well before consuming you.

I wish jklg fgdjkl ifdog edgh dfgfd ghdfghdfh gfg.


Granted! Hkhkhyt jgifffj ujf jkhgkjj.

I wish everyone on Earth recognized me as the rightful ruler of the planet.


OK, everyone recognizes you as the rightful ruler of the planet. However they are all very upset with your poor job of running things. You might want to hide.

I wish I didn't have to fill up my car today.


Granted. Your car has exactly the amount of gas you need to get through today. Your bill will be in the mail.

I wish Uwe Boll could never make another movie.


Your wish is granted, Uwe Boll will never make another movie, see he died in a horrible cloning machine accident. There are now 5 Uwe Boll clones and due some error in the way the machine was programmed it will spit out another clone every 5 years. The various Movie studios have grabbed onto the concept of having Every movie directed by one of these clones.

My vacation starts Monday, I wish it started today.


Granted. Today is now Monday. You have no memories of the intervening days, except a few flashes before your eyes that tell you vague stories of blood, death, and a dentist drill...

I wish sticks and stones wouldn't break my bones.


OK, sticks and stones no longer hurt you, but words cause massive internal injury.

I wish I was home right now.

Sovereign Court

Sissyl wrote:
I wish sticks and stones wouldn't break my bones.

Granted. They no longer break your bones, they vaporize them. And names will forever hurt you as well.

I wish smurfs were green.


Ok, they are now very envious of your stuff and attack in a massive swarm of tiny anger.

I wish it wasn't going to be so freakin' hot today.

Scarab Sages

Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber; Pathfinder Maps, Pathfinder Accessories Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber
gran rey de los mono wrote:
I wish I was home right now.

Your wish is granted. Unfortuneatly, it is 5 minutes before you have to leave for work.

gran rey de los mono wrote:
I wish it wasn't going to be so freakin' hot today.

Your wish is granted. It is now winter (in Australia).

I wish I had computer skills.

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