Corrupt the Wish

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Granted...unfortunately you were realized how bad of an idea it was when you restarted time and realized you were 80 years old.

I wish I could stop time, EXCLUDING MYSELF, and didn't start aging until time for everyone else resumed.

Granted, You cease to exist on this Time line.

I wish for control of the entire universe.

Liberty's Edge

Granted! Sadly, absolute power corrupts absolutely.

I wish I was happy. REALLY happy.

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Granted...Your drivers license now says REALLY Happy.

I wish I had my 4th GM Star

Granted. You find a 4th GM, now that your 1st, 2nd and 3rd GMs have kicked you out. For some reason, it's a girl named Star.

I wish for the end of the universe.

Bam! Granted, according to your perspective, or to be more accurate, for you.

I wish that I was the king of dance.

Liberty's Edge

... no matter what those idiots at work say!

I wish I could change the answer to any question I asked and make it true.

Granted...except the answer is always lucky7 has a banana.

I wish that Star is a redhead.

Liberty's Edge

Granted. Our sun (a star, after all) becomes a red dwarf. This makes us all die.

I wish I was better at Pathfinder.

Granted...unfortunately your rigged dice are discovered and you are banned by Mike Brock himself.

I wish I people would craft songs celebrating my badassness.

Liberty's Edge

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Granted. "Brave Sir Robin..."

I wish that wasn't actually my theme song at my Lodge.

Granted. It is Diarrhea.

I wish I could quit this thread.

Granted! But you'll miss the episode where lucky7 proposes to his banana.

I wish I had a DVR for that.

Granted...unfortunately it's filled with Barney...and you forgot how to delete it.

I wish my DVR would have unlimited HD capacity.

Time to go old school.

Granted. It now has infinite mass, thereby destroying the universe at the speed of light. Starting with you.

Liberty's Edge

Granted! Superman invades Nicaragua

I wish I was Batman.

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granted, you turn into a bat, but with a human head.

I wish my wishes were not twisted.

Granted, but upon uttering your wish, the very fabric of reality is sundered and your immortal soul explodes from the fleshy prison of your mortal body in the form of a massive green dragon. Now holding all power in the universe, you instantaneously know all, become all, and become bored of being in a matter of seconds as you have experienced all time, in every possible circumstance, backwards and forwards in the time it took to blink.
You divide your soul into 7 mystical dragon balls and scatter them across the world... Vowing to grant the wish of anyone who finds all the dragon balls.

I wish I wish I had a fish.

granted. I give you a plankton. hope that is fishy enough for you.

I wish for my house to be made of indestructable bedrock.

Granted. There is just the problem of indestructable bedrock being kind of radioactive.

I wish Superman would invade Nicaragua.

ok, he also invades the rest of the world. sadly for you, he had a grudge agianst demilitches.

I wish for a space laser.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16

Your wish is granted! You get the Second Death Star. Your apprentice throws you into the power core.

I wish you would vote for me in RPG Superstar! :D

ok. but whenever I vote for someone, they lose. TASTE MY CURSE!!!!

I wish for a non-death star space laser.

Granted! You get a non-death-star-space-laser-pointer.

I wish I had cat that could travel intergalactic without getting hurt.

Liberty's Edge

Granted. Sadly, you are now allergic to cats, so it goes to become mascot of the new Enterprise. Maybe you shouldn't have knitted it a red sweater.

I wish for wisdom.

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

Granted 3d6 ⇒ (1, 5, 5) = 11 You are slightly above the norm

I wish I would stop procrastinating.

Granted... eventually.

I wish that EA's Origin DRM didn't suck.

Granted. EA's DRM now blows instead.

I wish EA would remove their DRM.

Liberty's Edge

Granted. They replace yours with theirs.

I wish I wasn't afraid of bears.

ok, but you are now afriad of everything else.

I wish for a rocketship made out of bacon.

Granted, but it burns up to a crisp when you attempt to launch it.

I wish I looked more mature.

Granted. You now don't look a day above a hundred and twelve.

I wish I had four fully functional arms and everyone thought that was cool.

ok, but it is at a loss of your legs and your head chitin.

I wish I had a rocketship made out of bacon that will not burn up at high speeds.

Granted. It doesn't burn up. It just smells delicious and gets eaten by the crew.

I wish.



>: ... !

The angry looking man with the long dotted nose bites you.

I wish the government left the trees in my neighborhood alone.

Granted...but instead of cutting them down, the move all of the houses in your neighborhood to the desert.

I wish I would have taken the blue pill

ok, but they do not leave the houses alone.

I wish for bacon.

ok, turns out the blue pill was arsnic. good luck.

I wish I wasn't ninja'd

Lantern Lodge RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16

Granted! However, you then reply to your own wish and your bacon was apparently a blue arsenic pill. Roll a Fort save!

I wish I had a fresh, delicious cookie.

ok, you get a fresh, delicious cookie made out of the last black powder chocobo that lives in the wild. Or should I say lived.

I wish for a space laser that vaporizes anyone who tries to ninja me.

Liberty's Edge

Granted! Sadly, everyone in our "outfit" but me and you are burned. HEy Squidward! Hey. Hey Squidward!

I wish Flo Rida would get out of my Olly Murs song.

Granted! Florida is nuked from orbit. It was the only way to be sure.

I wish I had more time for System Shock 2 and Zafehouse Diaries.

Liberty's Edge

Granted. Sadly, you gradually become frustrated with the wrench swing and turn to BioShock.

I wish I was any of the superheroes I'm attempting to publish. (Preferably The Man in the Mask)

Granted, are now an incredibly skilled and savvy superhero with access to vast financial resources, women in spandex and a cool theme song. You usher in an er*CLANG*

What the F*** was that?!?

I wish I knew what that was.

Liberty's Edge

Granted. I do it loudly it makes your ears bleed.

I wish I was the iconic badass.

granted. You are granted memic badass cred on par with chuck norris... in the eyes of your next door neighbor. everyone else thinks he's crazy.

I wish my ears would stop bleeding.

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Rulebook Subscriber

Granted - the blood is now draining through your severed neck.

I wish I could write better.

Granted - However, the ones who consider it better are Twilight fans.

I wish I had an angel...

Liberty's Edge

Granted. He's the one who banishes you to hell.

I wish I had the ability to poison people by touching them.

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