Deep 6 FaWtL

[NobodysHome]

Impus Major's latest million-dollar idea: A "Fortress Restaurant" chain. With actual steel-plated walls, reinforced bulletproof windows and gates, and armed servers.
"In these uncertain times, wouldn't it be nice to be able to go out to eat at a place and be 100% sure you're safe from riots, war, or nuclear strikes?"

The sad thing is, I'm pretty sure he'd have a solid market.

The cost/benefit ratio of building a nuclear-bomb-proof building vs. income from a restaurant might leave a bit to be desired, though.

EDIT: Well, we have to attract Freehold somehow...

[gran rey de los mono]

An idea popped into my head on the way to work, and I thought I would share it in case someone could use it. Your players are in town, and find a store called "Frida's Enchanted Bakery". Inside is Frida, a pudgy middle-aged gnomish lady, and a whole bunch of cakes, cupcakes, pies, cookies, brownies, etc... Most are normal, but some are magical. If asked about them, Frida says that her family has been brewing magical potions for generations, but she has a sweet tooth, and her gnomish ingenuity led to her discovering how to make sweet treats that function like potions. So, instead of chugging a potion if cure light wounds, you can eat a sugar cookie of cure light wounds. Or a fudge walnut brownie of invisibility. Or an apple tartlet of shield of faith.

I thought it would be a nice alternative to the traditional.

[Vidmaster7]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

An idea popped into my head on the way to work, and I thought I would share it in case someone could use it. Your players are in town, and find a store called "Frida's Enchanted Bakery". Inside is Frida, a pudgy middle-aged gnomish lady, and a whole bunch of cakes, cupcakes, pies, cookies, brownies, etc... Most are normal, but some are magical. If asked about them, Frida says that her family has been brewing magical potions for generations, but she has a sweet tooth, and her gnomish ingenuity led to her discovering how to make sweet treats that function like potions. So, instead of chugging a potion if cure light wounds, you can eat a sugar cookie of cure light wounds. Or a fudge walnut brownie of invisibility. Or an apple tartlet of shield of faith.

I thought it would be a nice alternative to the traditional.

would the place be named "keeblers"?

[gran rey de los mono]

No. It's "Frida's Enchanted Bakery". That's literally in the second sentence I typed. Keeblers are elves that live in trees, not gnomes that live in town.

[gran rey de los mono]

Also, Frida could have a husband/wife/non-gendered life partner/etc who is a chocolatier. That way you could get Almond Bark of Barkskin, or Turtles of Mage Armor, or Kit Kats of Cat's Grace.

[gran rey de los mono]

I admit, it does break down a little when you get to the "potions" that are actually "oils". Imagine a fighter pulling out his greatsword, and then smooshing a mini-quiche of Magic Weapon along the blade. Kind of weird, but it may force an opponent to make a Will save or be staggered for a round while they try to figure out just exactly what the f%*+ the fighter is doing.

[Vidmaster7]

I feel like the lore on elfs is all wrong in mainstream media. It makes way more sense for them to be gnomes. also Santa's helpers should also be gnomes.

[gran rey de los mono]

Keeblers are more like Brownies, than elves.

[Vidmaster7]

No Keeblers make brownies silly.

[gran rey de los mono]

In what way do Keeblers cause Brownies to go silly?

[Vidmaster7]

"a little elfin magic goes a long way"

[gran rey de los mono]

And a little effin' magic makes for a good night.

A little ettin magic is probably scary.

[Stone_Giant]

I know what the stone magic do hehehehe.

[gran rey de los mono]

It makes you as hard as a rock. In your case, that rock is chalk.

[Stone_Giant]

hmm not sure if was insult or no.

[gran rey de los mono]

Well, chalk is not a particularly hard rock...

[Stone_Giant]

hmm chalk better for your implications. Ask lady stone giants.

[lisamarlene]

I love the enchanted bakery and chocolatier.

[lisamarlene]

Hey, everyone, it's Freehold Day!
Let's have a snowball fight and wish our fearless leader a Happy Birthday!
(lobs first snowball at Vid, ducks behind a tree.)

[Vidmaster7]

Happy birthday to freehold who apparently is our leader(?)

*glares at gran who must of thrown the snowball*

I must prepare!

*begins to dig tiger trap full of snow.*

[Chicken_little]

Oh no! He escalates quickly. also the sky is everywhere look at all those clouds!

[gran rey de los mono]

Wait...Freehold is our leader? Since when? I assumed that we were still under the rule of LPM Moorluck! Even if he never comes around anymore.

Or did I miss something?

[gran rey de los mono]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Happy birthday to freehold who apparently is our leader(?)

*glares at gran who must of thrown the snowball*

I must prepare!

*begins to dig tiger trap full of snow.*

*begins prepping snow fort*

You digging that tiger trap for me, buddy? You do know that I'm not a tiger, right?

[gran rey de los mono]

lisamarlene wrote:

I love the enchanted bakery and chocolatier.

Feel free to use them for your family game. I wonder how your kids would react to it.

[Contrivancecougar]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Happy birthday to freehold who apparently is our leader(?)

*glares at gran who must of thrown the snowball*

I must prepare!

*begins to dig tiger trap full of snow.*

*begins prepping snow fort*

You digging that tiger trap for me, buddy? You do know that I'm not a tiger, right?

You don't have to be a tiger to fall for one. I think?

[Werewoof of London]

Contrivancecougar wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Happy birthday to freehold who apparently is our leader(?)

*glares at gran who must of thrown the snowball*

I must prepare!

*begins to dig tiger trap full of snow.*

*begins prepping snow fort*

You digging that tiger trap for me, buddy? You do know that I'm not a tiger, right?

You don't have to be a tiger to fall for one. I think?

I'm certainly not going to fall for it.

[Vidmaster7]

Well now I have to listen to that song.

[Drejk]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

I admit, it does break down a little when you get to the "potions" that are actually "oils". Imagine a fighter pulling out his greatsword, and then smooshing a mini-quiche of Magic Weapon along the blade. Kind of weird, but it may force an opponent to make a Will save or be staggered for a round while they try to figure out just exactly what the f~+% the fighter is doing.

Use flavored butters for the weapon oils. You pick your sword, spread that chocolate butter over the other products while the sword is suffused with the magical power.

[Vidmaster7]

Oh snap. bakery alchemists are now taking a bite of a bonbon then throwing it for their bombs. a bombbomb if you will.

[Woran]

Happy birthday Freehold!

[gran rey de los mono]

Drejk wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

I admit, it does break down a little when you get to the "potions" that are actually "oils". Imagine a fighter pulling out his greatsword, and then smooshing a mini-quiche of Magic Weapon along the blade. Kind of weird, but it may force an opponent to make a Will save or be staggered for a round while they try to figure out just exactly what the f~+% the fighter is doing.

Use flavored butters for the weapon oils. You pick your sword, spread that chocolate butter over the other products while the sword is suffused with the magical power.

So, smear Nutella on your mace to give it Weapon of Awe?

[Drejk]

Happy Freehold Day.

The snow around here only is only delicately sprinkled over roofs.

[Feros]

lisamarlene wrote:

Hey, everyone, it's Freehold Day!

Let's have a snowball fight and wish our fearless leader a Happy Birthday!
(lobs first snowball at Vid, ducks behind a tree.)

(lobs snowball at LM from tree branches, where he was skillfully hidden)

HAH!

[captain yesterday]

Happy Anne and Samantha Day Freehold!

[Vanykrye]

Happy Freehold Solstice!

[gran rey de los mono]

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Oh snap. bakery alchemists are now taking a bite of a bonbon then throwing it for their bombs. a bombbomb if you will.

Or bombe tortas.

[lisamarlene]

Feros wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

Hey, everyone, it's Freehold Day!

Let's have a snowball fight and wish our fearless leader a Happy Birthday!
(lobs first snowball at Vid, ducks behind a tree.)

(lobs snowball at LM from tree branches, where he was skillfully hidden)

HAH!

Unleashes barrage at Feros with Stormtrooper accuracy, turns and fires one off at old man NH when he goes out to shoo some whippersnappers off his 80 sq ft patch of lawn.

[NobodysHome]

Happy B-Day, Freehold!

[Limeylongears]

*Tries to make snowsword*

*Snowsword flops limply*

*Summons the SPIRIT OF FREEHOLD. Waves picture of (say) Betty Crocker in front of sword, and anoints blade with stroopwaffel stout*

Well well. Happy birthday indeed.

[Mark Hoover 330]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

An idea popped into my head on the way to work, and I thought I would share it in case someone could use it. Your players are in town, and find a store called "Frida's Enchanted Bakery". Inside is Frida, a pudgy middle-aged gnomish lady, and a whole bunch of cakes, cupcakes, pies, cookies, brownies, etc... Most are normal, but some are magical. If asked about them, Frida says that her family has been brewing magical potions for generations, but she has a sweet tooth, and her gnomish ingenuity led to her discovering how to make sweet treats that function like potions. So, instead of chugging a potion if cure light wounds, you can eat a sugar cookie of cure light wounds. Or a fudge walnut brownie of invisibility. Or an apple tartlet of shield of faith.

I thought it would be a nice alternative to the traditional.

I did something similar with a witch running a pie shoppe. I forget the name now, Auntie M's or something, but basically when the PF settlement stat block said I had level 5 magic avail in town I took an NPC Witch 7, gave her the Cauldron hex and basically said the "potions" she made were pies.

I actually lifted that idea straight out of old Dungeon magazine articles and the 3x DM's Guide, all of which suggested potions, scrolls and wands in other mediums. Imagine scrolls as prayer wheels, or wands as a string of 50 magic beads you pluck off and use.

For potions, the 3x books suggested take anything either edible, potable or even inhaled, then turn THAT into a potion. For example, what if you had jars of a kind of vapor that delivered the potion effect, or holy wafers that delivered Divine effects? For "oils" you could substitute body paint, lotions, perfumes or hair and skin tonics.

As for the gnomish bakery, I imagine that every once in a while Frida tricks her enemies into eating curses. These are inevitably made with dark chocolate and anise, because of course they are.

[Freehold DM]

I AM 42 NOW AND UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING

[Tequila Sunrise]

Happy b'day Freehold! Impart your wisdom to me!

[Tequila Sunrise]

gran rey de los mono wrote:

An idea popped into my head on the way to work, and I thought I would share it in case someone could use it. Your players are in town, and find a store called "Frida's Enchanted Bakery". Inside is Frida, a pudgy middle-aged gnomish lady, and a whole bunch of cakes, cupcakes, pies, cookies, brownies, etc... Most are normal, but some are magical. If asked about them, Frida says that her family has been brewing magical potions for generations, but she has a sweet tooth, and her gnomish ingenuity led to her discovering how to make sweet treats that function like potions. So, instead of chugging a potion if cure light wounds, you can eat a sugar cookie of cure light wounds. Or a fudge walnut brownie of invisibility. Or an apple tartlet of shield of faith.

I thought it would be a nice alternative to the traditional.

More like Cursed Sugar Cookies of Disappointment.

Or maybe that's just me.

[The Vagrant Erudite]

Happy Birthday, Freehold. I hope its a great one!

[Freehold DM]

THANK YOU FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES!

Spoiler:

Actually, this birthday almost didn't happen. After a few...well, several months of not knowing whether or not anything would happen, it seems that about two weeks ago we got the green light for our family reunion trip to St. Thomas. Everyone was tested for COVID under St. Thomas' restrictions, which are no joke(if the police catch you without a mask, you will be kicked off the island), and we planned this trip looooong before COVID too, as it is looking like one of the family elders last year due to simple age (96). We got to the airport at 6:20 AM and were supposed to be going first class with Delta. Now you guys know my history with Delta, and I cautioned against trusting them, but I was not the one getting the tickets. Our flight was at 8:30 AM originally, but was pushed back to 8:00 AM, and we were informed of this weeks ago. However, JFK airport, thanks to 9/11 restrictions, is not like other airports, as all terminals are closed until 6:00 AM and they will not open the doors for you to get inside until 6:00. So we thought we were making great time. Until we discovered that people were being pulled out of line for trips ahead of ours so they could check in. We got to the front of the line at 7:20 or so- when our plane was boarding- and they told us they could not check us in. A fight ensued as we told them that people for later fights were being pulled out of the first class line and being taken care of and we were not. Delta's response? "It is what it is." So more fighting ensued. A refund was received and a flight was purchased through Jet Blue with a layover in Puerto RIco. I was not too happy about taking two planes in one day- my love of flying had been shornf rom me by Delta, as you know- but there was nothing for it. The entire process of getting the tickets, going to the terminal, checking baggage and going through security was all faster than waiting on the line for Delta's first class baggage line. Think about that.

The flight to Puerto Rico was uneventful and rather smooth- very little white knuckling from me- and then it was just waiting until the flight to St. Thomas proper. It was the last flight of the day, and I thought it would be on a puddle jumper, which made me nervous, as the worst flight I had ever been on was a puddle jumper. To make things worse, it was a cloudy and rainy night.

It wasn't a puddle jumper.

It was a Cessna.

A 6 seater airplane.

The pilot assured us it was a half an hour flight, and kinda growled at us to turn off our cell phones as we could fry the instruments or distract the pilot and surrounding planes if our lights on our phone went off.

We piled into the cessna. It was like being in a video game. We could see EVERYTHING around us. I could see the pilot's instruments without a problem. As well as him struggling with the controls when we went into the clouds. Because whenver we went into a cloud the plane would...shake. Or, you know, fall several hundred feet. Someone may have screamed. Maybe it was me. But eventually we made our way through several cloud banks, and could actually SEE the island in the distance. Then we could see the runway. Which faded in and out of view, turned left and right, zigged and zagged as the cessna fought the wind to make a touchdown. I did not kiss the ground as I got out, but I did thank the pilot. While I am not loving flying as I once did, I am not afraid of much of anything after that experience. Less death gripping from me for a while anyway.

It's hot.

There's no snow here.

Freehold is frustrated.

[Treppa]

Happy birthday Freehold, you young pup!

[CrystalSeas]

It's always good to have more birthdays. Keep on having them Freehold.

In the Did You Know department

CRB, pg 51 wrote:

Hillock Halfling Heritage

"When anyone uses the Medicine skill to Treat your Wounds, you can eat a snack to add your level to the Hit Points you regain from their treatment.

Bring on the baked goods!

[Drejk]

Freehold DM wrote:

I AM 42 NOW AND UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING

You finally grasped math?

[Vanykrye]

In non-Freehold news, Kilauea is erupting again.

[lisamarlene]

Drejk wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

I AM 42 NOW AND UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING

You finally grasped math?

Drejk gets all the cookies.