Deep 6 FaWtL

[NobodysHome]

Speaking of all things Microsoft and despised, is there anything more annoying than bots that pop up and ask, "Can I help you with that?"
(See: Clippy. And no, he is so despised I'm not even providing a link.)

So yesterday after refreshing Windows, Cortana came on and started talking. And said, "If you want to shut me up, just click the sound icon."
And it DIDN'T WORK!!!!

And there was no, "Skip all this friendly bull**** and just let me get to my configuration," button either. So I had to sit through the baby-level tutorials just to RE-INSTALL THE WINDOWS MACHINE THAT YOU BROKE, MICROSOFT!

Then I had an email this morning at work marked "Urgent". The content?
"Hi! I'm your Slack Bot and I'd like to help you use Slack! Please sign in so we can get started!"

No.

No, I won't.

And I would kill you with fire if I could.

EDIT: I think I just put it well to GothBard. If you were to walk up to a bus stop and start standing there waiting, then a bus worker walked up to you and said, "Hi! I can help you! What are you looking for?"
"I'm just waiting for the bus."
"Would you like to see the schedule?"
"No. I just want to wait for my bus."
"Are you SURE you don't want help?"
You'd find them unbelievably obnoxious.

If the same helpful worker just waited for you to do something like start looking at the schedule or asking for help that would be one thing. But to intercept you and interrupt you and assume you need help is just plain obnoxious.

EDIT 2: And no, I will not get dressed for Cortana.

[Woran]

Yes. All the help bots are annoying.

[Tacticslion]

Tacticslion wrote:

At home. Sick kid. He doesn't feel sick, but demonstrably is. Wise enough to know he can't go to school, canny enough to know I won't treat this as a "free day" (so he wants to go to school), absolutely cannot go anywhere (and knows it), and reeeeaaaaally wants to.

Poor guy.

He played "Leaves on the Vine" (from Avatar the Last Airbender) on the violin today while he was bored and sick. Surreal but sweet.

[Tacticslion]

NobodysHome wrote:

Speaking of all things Microsoft and despised, is there anything more annoying than bots that pop up and ask, "Can I help you with that?"

(See: Clippy. And no, he is so despised I'm not even providing a link.)

So yesterday after refreshing Windows, Cortana came on and started talking. And said, "If you want to shut me up, just click the sound icon."
And it DIDN'T WORK!!!!

And there was no, "Skip all this friendly bull**** and just let me get to my configuration," button either. So I had to sit through the baby-level tutorials just to RE-INSTALL THE WINDOWS MACHINE THAT YOU BROKE, MICROSOFT!

Then I had an email this morning at work marked "Urgent". The content?
"Hi! I'm your Slack Bot and I'd like to help you use Slack! Please sign in so we can get started!"

No.

No, I won't.

And I would kill you with fire if I could.

EDIT: I think I just put it well to GothBard. If you were to walk up to a bus stop and start standing there waiting, then a bus worker walked up to you and said, "Hi! I can help you! What are you looking for?"
"I'm just waiting for the bus."
"Would you like to see the schedule?"
"No. I just want to wait for my bus."
"Are you SURE you don't want help?"
You'd find them unbelievably obnoxious.

If the same helpful worker just waited for you to do something like start looking at the schedule or asking for help that would be one thing. But to intercept you and interrupt you and assume you need help is just plain obnoxious.

EDIT 2: And no, I will not get dressed for Cortana.

As someone who has had endless opposition to Cortana, I... seem to have gotten rid of her, somehow. I don't really know how, but the little thing on the bottom left that took up so much space is gone, and she doesn't seem to be showing up anymore when I search for stuff. I actually thought Microsoft had just removed her at one of those weirdly annoying forced update thingies they do sometimes.

I pray for your swift success in her complete removal.

[TriOmegaZero]

Freehold DM wrote:

TOZ wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

when I can access my pron just as readily on non windows computers, we can talk. Until then, I'll keep rolling the dice.

*looks at his massive stash on his MacBook* Dunno your problem mate.

gestures to massive stash of H games and cds

I'll have to come up with a list of games that have Mac versions then.

[NobodysHome]

Tacticslion wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Speaking of all things Microsoft and despised, is there anything more annoying than bots that pop up and ask, "Can I help you with that?"

(See: Clippy. And no, he is so despised I'm not even providing a link.)

So yesterday after refreshing Windows, Cortana came on and started talking. And said, "If you want to shut me up, just click the sound icon."
And it DIDN'T WORK!!!!

And there was no, "Skip all this friendly bull**** and just let me get to my configuration," button either. So I had to sit through the baby-level tutorials just to RE-INSTALL THE WINDOWS MACHINE THAT YOU BROKE, MICROSOFT!

Then I had an email this morning at work marked "Urgent". The content?
"Hi! I'm your Slack Bot and I'd like to help you use Slack! Please sign in so we can get started!"

No.

No, I won't.

And I would kill you with fire if I could.

EDIT: I think I just put it well to GothBard. If you were to walk up to a bus stop and start standing there waiting, then a bus worker walked up to you and said, "Hi! I can help you! What are you looking for?"
"I'm just waiting for the bus."
"Would you like to see the schedule?"
"No. I just want to wait for my bus."
"Are you SURE you don't want help?"
You'd find them unbelievably obnoxious.

If the same helpful worker just waited for you to do something like start looking at the schedule or asking for help that would be one thing. But to intercept you and interrupt you and assume you need help is just plain obnoxious.

EDIT 2: And no, I will not get dressed for Cortana.

As someone who has had endless opposition to Cortana, I... seem to have gotten rid of her, somehow. I don't really know how, but the little thing on the bottom left that took up so much space is gone, and she doesn't seem to be showing up anymore when I search for stuff. I actually thought Microsoft had just removed her at one of those weirdly annoying forced update thingies they do sometimes.

I pray for your swift success in her complete removal.

Minimizing her is easy. But during an installation, when you have to wait for her to finish talking before you can click Next, she is unbelievably aggravating. I was ready to kill the developer who decided that THAT was a good idea... (and it varied page-by-page. Sometimes I could click Next and shut her up, and sometimes I just had to wait).

[Scintillae]

I'm preparing a kobold warren for 5e night this weekend.

Traps so far:

A tripwire that will drop a wasp nest on the party
A lever to open a stone door that counts down in Draconic...and resets if the lever is pulled
Flour-filled bellows disguised as stones and will spray dust into eyes if stepped on - blinded 1 round (will burst into flame if there is a lit torch)
A pressure plate that will trigger an Indiana Jones-style boulder
A seemingly shallow puddle hides a deeper section set with rusty broken knives
A horrifying monster (actually a card from a deck of illusions) bars the way

More ideas and alignment shifts are welcome!

[John Napier 698]

Scintillae wrote:

I'm preparing a kobold warren for 5e night this weekend.

** spoiler omitted **

More ideas and alignment shifts are welcome!

1) An automated bellows will spray Lemon juice into the eyes of the PCs.

2) Bellows till spray finely ground pepper into the air.

3) Bellows will spray atomized lamp oil into the air, followed by a spark from a clockwork flint-and-steel sparker.

[Freehold DM]

A distant, chittering conversation in Draconic implying that a trap has gone off in a sector seemingly analogous to the one the players is in, and that reinforcements have been sent to investigate. It is naturally an illusion, but the kobolds DO have a fairly ingenious system of non magical whistling tunnels used for communication in just about every room that can give a defending force a heads up when the party is about 1d2+1 rooms away from them.

[Sharoth]

The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire audiobook

by Edward Gibbon

[Drejk]

NobodysHome wrote:

EDIT 2: And no, I will not get dressed for Cortana.

Not surprising as Cortana apparently was getting sexier and sexier with each part.

Spoiler:

Cortana from M$'s owned Halo franchise. Who happens to be an AI that went rogue and bent of galaxy domination from what I read in lore. That was the M$'s helper namesake. Coincidence?

[Tacticslion]

NobodysHome wrote:

Minimizing her is easy. But during an installation, when you have to wait for her to finish talking before you can click Next, she is unbelievably aggravating. I was ready to kill the developer who decided that THAT was a good idea... (and it varied page-by-page. Sometimes I could click Next and shut her up, and sometimes I just had to wait).

Ooooooooooooooffffffff. No bueno. Can't say as I've had the pleasure of that experience, and I am grateful. Blech.

[Tacticslion]

Drejk wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

EDIT 2: And no, I will not get dressed for Cortana.

Not surprising as Cortana apparently was getting sexier and sexier with each part.

** spoiler omitted **

I helped!

Should be safe for work? Maybe? I mean, you might not want to do it at work, because it's a picture of a video game female - Cortana - in, like, eight different visual formats, so that could get awkward, but I think it qualifies? She's clothed or whatever you call the super hero/tron-like pastiche-thing she has going on. Anyway! /joke over-explained and/or disclaimers!

[NobodysHome]

Sometimes, life just keeps throwing lemonade at you.

I don't want to provide many technical details because I don't like to compromise people's identities (even if I've posted pictures of them all over Flickr), but you all know that Shiro works in the tech industry, and is a C-level executive at a major corporation after spending nearly 40 years working his way up as an engineer.

So, I just had a piece of tech go bad. Exactly the tech he works on. So he's not just my "geek friend" on this, he's a leading technical expert in the world on the subject.

So yeah, "Hey, Shiro, which one of these doohickeys should I buy?" is a question I am asking him with some confidence.

Yeah, sucks that it went bad. Great that I don't even have to think about which one to buy...

[Freehold DM]

NobodysHome wrote:

Sometimes, life just keeps throwing lemonade at you.

I don't want to provide many technical details because I don't like to compromise people's identities (even if I've posted pictures of them all over Flickr), but you all know that Shiro works in the tech industry, and is a C-level executive at a major corporation after spending nearly 40 years working his way up as an engineer.

So, I just had a piece of tech go bad. Exactly the tech he works on. So he's not just my "geek friend" on this, he's a leading technical expert in the world on the subject.

So yeah, "Hey, Shiro, which one of these doohickeys should I buy?" is a question I am asking him with some confidence.

Yeah, sucks that it went bad. Great that I don't even have to think about which one to buy...

Please tell me he works on sexbots.

[Freehold DM]

Tacticslion wrote:

Drejk wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

EDIT 2: And no, I will not get dressed for Cortana.

Not surprising as Cortana apparently was getting sexier and sexier with each part.

** spoiler omitted **

I helped!

I like 3 and 4 the best.

[Freehold DM]

Just so you know, Shiro. Just so you know.

[NobodysHome]

Freehold DM wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Sometimes, life just keeps throwing lemonade at you.

I don't want to provide many technical details because I don't like to compromise people's identities (even if I've posted pictures of them all over Flickr), but you all know that Shiro works in the tech industry, and is a C-level executive at a major corporation after spending nearly 40 years working his way up as an engineer.

So, I just had a piece of tech go bad. Exactly the tech he works on. So he's not just my "geek friend" on this, he's a leading technical expert in the world on the subject.

So yeah, "Hey, Shiro, which one of these doohickeys should I buy?" is a question I am asking him with some confidence.

Yeah, sucks that it went bad. Great that I don't even have to think about which one to buy...

Please tell me he works on sexbots.

That's just WAY too funny to contradict...

[lisamarlene]

NobodysHome wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Sometimes, life just keeps throwing lemonade at you.

I don't want to provide many technical details because I don't like to compromise people's identities (even if I've posted pictures of them all over Flickr), but you all know that Shiro works in the tech industry, and is a C-level executive at a major corporation after spending nearly 40 years working his way up as an engineer.

So, I just had a piece of tech go bad. Exactly the tech he works on. So he's not just my "geek friend" on this, he's a leading technical expert in the world on the subject.

So yeah, "Hey, Shiro, which one of these doohickeys should I buy?" is a question I am asking him with some confidence.

Yeah, sucks that it went bad. Great that I don't even have to think about which one to buy...

Please tell me he works on sexbots.

That's just WAY too funny to contradict...

Sometimes I have trouble differentiating Shiro and Shiro's PCs in my mind.

For instance, his highly chaotic gnome alchemist.
I imagine Shiro at work, and I think of a gnome in the "Mission to Mars" control room with a long white ponytail, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, saying, "Sexbots? Sure! Let's try it! Can we make them blow up?"

[NobodysHome]

lisamarlene wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Sometimes, life just keeps throwing lemonade at you.

I don't want to provide many technical details because I don't like to compromise people's identities (even if I've posted pictures of them all over Flickr), but you all know that Shiro works in the tech industry, and is a C-level executive at a major corporation after spending nearly 40 years working his way up as an engineer.

So, I just had a piece of tech go bad. Exactly the tech he works on. So he's not just my "geek friend" on this, he's a leading technical expert in the world on the subject.

So yeah, "Hey, Shiro, which one of these doohickeys should I buy?" is a question I am asking him with some confidence.

Yeah, sucks that it went bad. Great that I don't even have to think about which one to buy...

Please tell me he works on sexbots.

That's just WAY too funny to contradict...

Sometimes I have trouble differentiating Shiro and Shiro's PCs in my mind.

For instance, his highly chaotic gnome alchemist.
I imagine Shiro at work, and I think of a gnome in the "Mission to Mars" control room with a long white ponytail, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, saying, "Sexbots? Sure! Let's try it! Can we make them blow up?"

What entertains me about him the most is that I have the impression that he's single-handedly destroyed the dress code at more than one place that he's worked.

"Here comes the new guy!"
"But... he's in jeans and a T-shirt! I thought he was our senior engineering lead! What about the dress code?"
Shiro: Yeah, I don't do that.
"But... but..."
"Shut up! If you make him mad he'll leave!"
"OK, sir! You can dress however you want! Just code for us!"

I mean, seriously. When I go to HQ I have to wear at least a polo shirt. When I'm recording I have to wear a button-down shirt. He's sent pictures of himself getting on his company-supplied private jet going to meetings all over the country in his jeans and t-shirt. And they just don't dare argue.

When we made reservations for high tea at the Ritz his first reaction was, "Oh, carp! I have to check to see whether I even own a suit!"

[Freehold DM]

NobodysHome wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Sometimes, life just keeps throwing lemonade at you.

I don't want to provide many technical details because I don't like to compromise people's identities (even if I've posted pictures of them all over Flickr), but you all know that Shiro works in the tech industry, and is a C-level executive at a major corporation after spending nearly 40 years working his way up as an engineer.

So, I just had a piece of tech go bad. Exactly the tech he works on. So he's not just my "geek friend" on this, he's a leading technical expert in the world on the subject.

So yeah, "Hey, Shiro, which one of these doohickeys should I buy?" is a question I am asking him with some confidence.

Yeah, sucks that it went bad. Great that I don't even have to think about which one to buy...

Please tell me he works on sexbots.

That's just WAY too funny to contradict...

Sometimes I have trouble differentiating Shiro and Shiro's PCs in my mind.

For instance, his highly chaotic gnome alchemist.
I imagine Shiro at work, and I think of a gnome in the "Mission to Mars" control room with a long white ponytail, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, saying, "Sexbots? Sure! Let's try it! Can we make them blow up?"

What entertains me about him the most is that I have the impression that he's single-handedly destroyed the dress code at more than one place that he's worked.

"Here comes the new guy!"
"But... he's in jeans and a T-shirt! I thought he was our senior engineering lead! What about the dress code?"
Shiro: Yeah, I don't do that.
"But... but..."
"Shut up! If you make him mad he'll leave!"
"OK, sir! You can dress however you want! Just code for us!"

I mean, seriously. When I go to HQ I have to wear at least a polo shirt. When I'm recording I have to wear a button-down shirt. He's sent pictures of himself getting on his company-supplied private jet going to meetings all over the...

I find your lack of faith in my attire disturbing

[Cheel Vorastrix]

Scintillae wrote:

I'm preparing a kobold warren for 5e night this weekend.

** spoiler omitted **

More ideas and alignment shifts are welcome!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Spoiler:

Narrow strip-shaped pressure plates that stretch across an entire hall, tied to vents in the ceiling that dump water to put out torches. Make the water septic if you want to add disease saves to the mix.

Rube Goldberg-esque triggers that rattle stones through narrow channels in the walls. No real direct damage, but the constant noise and echoes created can give the impression of an incoming large trap, disguise the movement of kobold troops into positions, or muffle the source of murder-hole arrows or other trap effects. Or just make the PCs paranoid.

Rubble or trash chutes at regular locations, easily tripped by kobolds in the area pulling on strings or slapping pressure points on the walls. Dumps stones or debris or junk behind them, possibly striking a PC in the fall area and certainly blocking the way for pursuit and slowing PCs down.

Concealed floor vents/trapdoors containing captured creatures - tamed or summoned - openable from the other side of murder-holes or spy tunnels, allowing monsters to pop out from unexpected locations, possibly right into the middle of the PC party.

Soft floors that survive kobold passage, but anything heavier will collapse under the players' feet, dropping them into something nasty - bug hives (ant and spider swarms are good starts), filthy water, pointed rocks, rusty spikes, good old pit trap, some monster's den, some monster's mouth, etc. etc. etc.

Oozes. Put appropriate oozes concealed everywhere. Firey oozes in flammable liquids. Metallic oozes hidden in treasure. Dark oozes hidden in rocks and rubble. Have kobolds show up carrying bits of rock salt for seemingly no reason - it's how they keep the things manageably sized. And if the PCs can figure that out, it might give them a nice little bonus. But don't make it obvious. ;) Slimes and molds can work in this niche as well.

Kobold War Roomba. A tiny construct made of scrap metal, driftwood, twine, spiderweb, and sheer kobold tenacity. It rumbles along silently, poking anything it encounters with the bits of pointy, rusty metal sticking off every surface, and scoops up any pieces of debris, stone, trash, etc. it encounters and launches it at invading PCs with a miniature catapult (treat as a sling or crossbow?).

Skunk-in-a-trunk. I mean, need I say more?

Fool's Gold. Kobolds leave out a pile of junk disguised as precious gems, loose coin, bits of raw ore or precious metal, or other items. Heck, have a shaman cast Nystul's Magic Aura (I presume this still exists in 5e, I hope?) on some of it to make it detect as magical. Then either use the pile of "loot" as bait, or hide something nasty inside it.

False Dragon. Kobolds carve out a section of tunnel or stone to resemble a dragon. Blowing through a bullhorn to make it roar, using alchemist's fire or similar items/spells to produce its breath weapon, using long poles ending in rakes or barbs or bear traps to simulate claws and/or bites.

Lodestones embedded in walls. In close quarters, metal objects - weapons and armor especially - get pulled towards the walls by the magnetism, possibly imposing a penalty on attacks and/or AC.

I'm sure I'll think of more later. >:D

[Tacticslion]

Cheel Vorastrix wrote:

Scintillae wrote:

I'm preparing a kobold warren for 5e night this weekend.

** spoiler omitted **

More ideas and alignment shifts are welcome!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

** spoiler omitted **...

All this, of course, depends entirely on the level of your party. Adjust as appropriate. I'm presuming first to third level.

Spoiler:

Make a number of innocuous and non-threatening traps - yes, make them "dangerous" but only vaguely, and make sure they're clunky and moderately easily noticed - not, like, super-obvious, but moderately dangerous and moderately hidden. So, you know, DC 10s to 13s, maybe attack like a couple of arrows, a low-grad magic missile, or a dagger swing or two. Something that hurts, but isn't deadly.

Make something like three to six that are a bit better, but still not super-hard to find - DC 14s to 16s - with appropriate levels of danger to the increased DCs.

Make one or two of similar DC that are mostly just noise - effectively just spook shows - sure, technical damage, but nothing that anyone care's about: at most one warlock short rest and you're ready to go again. But they kind of look impressive and might be super irritating (like dropping caltrops everywhere, or spraying the area with mild 1 dmg/round acid or something).

Make one with a lower DC to find, avoid, or mitigate (DCs somewhere around 7 to 9) that's exceptionally deadly - something like a fireball or the giant boulder roll/crush trap.

Then make two - just the two - that are exceptionally difficult or powerful - DCs in the 18 to 23 range, and a big explosion of some sort, and a third one that is literally just a loud boom (temporary deafness) somewhere in the middle.

[gran rey de los mono]

Good news and bad news on this week's paycheck. I half expected them to have not paid me for the 24 hours of vacation time I used (it happens often, I tell them and they get it paid on the next check), but instead they paid me for 16 hours of it. So that's better than I expected, but still sub-optimal.

[gran rey de los mono]

If you are in California, make sure that the mechanic checks your oil with a state flag. That way you get a Super Cali-Flagger Dipstick Expert Diagnosis.

[gran rey de los mono]

I always wanted to be a fruit farmer, but for the longest time was scared to try. Eventually I decided to grow a pear.

[Drejk]

NobodysHome wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

Sometimes, life just keeps throwing lemonade at you.

I don't want to provide many technical details because I don't like to compromise people's identities (even if I've posted pictures of them all over Flickr), but you all know that Shiro works in the tech industry, and is a C-level executive at a major corporation after spending nearly 40 years working his way up as an engineer.

So, I just had a piece of tech go bad. Exactly the tech he works on. So he's not just my "geek friend" on this, he's a leading technical expert in the world on the subject.

So yeah, "Hey, Shiro, which one of these doohickeys should I buy?" is a question I am asking him with some confidence.

Yeah, sucks that it went bad. Great that I don't even have to think about which one to buy...

Please tell me he works on sexbots.

That's just WAY too funny to contradict...

Sometimes I have trouble differentiating Shiro and Shiro's PCs in my mind.

For instance, his highly chaotic gnome alchemist.
I imagine Shiro at work, and I think of a gnome in the "Mission to Mars" control room with a long white ponytail, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, saying, "Sexbots? Sure! Let's try it! Can we make them blow up?"

What entertains me about him the most is that I have the impression that he's single-handedly destroyed the dress code at more than one place that he's worked.

"Here comes the new guy!"
"But... he's in jeans and a T-shirt! I thought he was our senior engineering lead! What about the dress code?"
Shiro: Yeah, I don't do that.
"But... but..."
"Shut up! If you make him mad he'll leave!"
"OK, sir! You can dress however you want! Just code for us!"

I mean, seriously. When I go to HQ I have to wear at least a polo shirt. When I'm recording I have to wear a button-down shirt. He's sent pictures of himself getting on his company-supplied private jet going to meetings all over the...

Thank you Shiro, for fighting tyranny of the dress code across the world! Burn all the ties!

[Woran]

Tacticslion wrote:

Tacticslion wrote:

At home. Sick kid. He doesn't feel sick, but demonstrably is. Wise enough to know he can't go to school, canny enough to know I won't treat this as a "free day" (so he wants to go to school), absolutely cannot go anywhere (and knows it), and reeeeaaaaally wants to.

Poor guy.

He played "Leaves on the Vine" (from Avatar the Last Airbender) on the violin today while he was bored and sick. Surreal but sweet.

Damn ninjas cutting onions in here

[Woran]

traps:

- Burning carcass falls from the ceiling
- some good old fashioned swinging axe traps
- Gelatinous cube at the bottom of a greased ladder

[Captain Yesterday, A Team]

Co-worker is out with a toe injury and the boss is out on vacation, so looks like I'm my own boss today.

Yay for working outside the chain of command!

[captain yesterday]

"I'm not number one, I'm number one, two, three, four and five!" - KRS-ONE.

[Scintillae]

Tacticslion wrote:

Cheel Vorastrix wrote:

Scintillae wrote:

I'm preparing a kobold warren for 5e night this weekend.

** spoiler omitted **

More ideas and alignment shifts are welcome!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

** spoiler omitted **...

All this, of course, depends entirely on the level of your party. Adjust as appropriate. I'm presuming first to third level.

** spoiler omitted **

I have no idea the level of the party! I'm just one of the DMs for our pick-up games at the FLGS. Every time I've sat down and asked for a 1-4 group, I've gotten a lvl 6 or 7 straggler tossed into the mix as well. So I'm going with traps because the challenge of "solve the puzzle!" roleplay is going to be more satisfying than "you splat the 6 HP kobold in a single hit."

[Freehold DM]

Scintillae wrote:

Tacticslion wrote:

Cheel Vorastrix wrote:

Scintillae wrote:

I'm preparing a kobold warren for 5e night this weekend.

** spoiler omitted **

More ideas and alignment shifts are welcome!

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

** spoiler omitted **...

All this, of course, depends entirely on the level of your party. Adjust as appropriate. I'm presuming first to third level.

** spoiler omitted **

I have no idea the level of the party! I'm just one of the DMs for our pick-up games at the FLGS. Every time I've sat down and asked for a 1-4 group, I've gotten a lvl 6 or 7 straggler tossed into the mix as well. So I'm going with traps because the challenge of "solve the puzzle!" roleplay is going to be more satisfying than "you splat the 6 HP kobold in a single hit."

I say still splat the kobolds but only after a few frustrating traps.

[Freehold DM]

captain yesterday wrote:

"I'm not number one, I'm number one, two, three, four and five!" - KRS-ONE.

all the memories...

[Limeylongears]

captain yesterday wrote:

"I'm not number one, I'm number one, two, three, four and five!" - KRS-ONE.

He's like the Thunderbirds, then. Which one is the underwater KRS?

[NobodysHome]

And here's another one that just baffles/peeves me: "You cannot turn on your laptop without opening the lid."

Everyone I know (with one exception) connects their laptop to an external keyboard, mouse, and monitor(s). There is no reason whatsoever to open the laptop. So, for example, every laptop in this house spends its existence closed.

EXCEPT, of course, to boot them. Because every laptop requires you to open it, THEN turn it on, THEN close it.

WHY?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

[Woran]

Limeylongears wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

"I'm not number one, I'm number one, two, three, four and five!" - KRS-ONE.

He's like the Thunderbirds, then. Which one is the underwater KRS?

Thunderbird 4 is the underwater one

[Freehold DM]

Woran wrote:

Limeylongears wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

"I'm not number one, I'm number one, two, three, four and five!" - KRS-ONE.

He's like the Thunderbirds, then. Which one is the underwater KRS?

Thunderbird 4 is the underwater one

Yes, it is.

[DeathQuaker]

NobodysHome wrote:

And here's another one that just baffles/peeves me: "You cannot turn on your laptop without opening the lid."

Everyone I know (with one exception) connects their laptop to an external keyboard, mouse, and monitor(s). There is no reason whatsoever to open the laptop. So, for example, every laptop in this house spends its existence closed.

EXCEPT, of course, to boot them. Because every laptop requires you to open it, THEN turn it on, THEN close it.

WHY?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

I know you aren't really asking, but because there are sensors in the open/close apparatus that let it turn off or on (or tells it to go to sleep etc.). More to the point, these sensors in the "closed" position prevent the computer from accidentally turning on when you travel with it, and traveling is what a laptop is designed for. Should you be able to turn those sensors off or customize how they work? Sure. But the design is for how most people use the device. It would be really annoying to be traveling with a laptop and have it turn on because it was jostled the wrong way. I'm imagining sitting on an airplane and hearing all these computer startup noises coming from the overhead bins, tee hee.

Also, while I am sure you are not alone, you are literally the first and ONLY person I have ever heard of who actually uses your laptop completely like a desktop and regularly attaches it to an external monitor. (And I know a lot of people who work in IT and programming.) (Cue all the posts that follow that say "but DQ apparently everyone in your universe is a weirdo." Which is true, but besides the point, which is that using a laptop in this way is hardly universal even if some people do it.) And only very rarely to an external keyboard. An external mouse is more common especially if the trackpad is lousy, but I can't even say EVERYONE does that. But then, almost everyone I know uses their laptop as a portable computer that they can take places with them, and aren't going to carry a bunch of attachable peripherals to have to set up with them like in the coffeeshop or something. My laptop is definitely a portable device I use to do writing in the coffeeshop with. I have a separate desktop computer for, uh, keeping on my desk (for high powered uses like gaming where a laptop would be both prohibitively expensive and probably overheat and die anyway, at least based on the one time I did own a powerful "desktop replacement" laptop, but even then I never attached it to a separate monitor or keyboard. Because I still also wanted to travel with it.). And uh... pardon me if this is a stupid question, but why don't you just use a desktop if you always attach it to a monitor and use it like a desktop anyway? They're way cheaper, and easier to fix when broken, and much easier to keep clean and from overheating.

As an aside, as everyone knows, closing it and opening it also fixes most problems ;)

[Limeylongears]

Freehold DM wrote:

Woran wrote:

Limeylongears wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

"I'm not number one, I'm number one, two, three, four and five!" - KRS-ONE.

He's like the Thunderbirds, then. Which one is the underwater KRS?

Thunderbird 4 is the underwater one

Yes, it is.

Well, it's only 17:10 on a Tuesday and I've already seen a cartoon of a robot with a gigantic golden nob-rocket. What a week this is turning out to be!!!

[Freehold DM]

DeathQuaker wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

And here's another one that just baffles/peeves me: "You cannot turn on your laptop without opening the lid."

Everyone I know (with one exception) connects their laptop to an external keyboard, mouse, and monitor(s). There is no reason whatsoever to open the laptop. So, for example, every laptop in this house spends its existence closed.

EXCEPT, of course, to boot them. Because every laptop requires you to open it, THEN turn it on, THEN close it.

WHY?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

I know you aren't really asking, but because there are sensors in the open/close apparatus that let it turn off or on (or tells it to go to sleep etc.). More to the point, these sensors in the "closed" position prevent the computer from accidentally turning on when you travel with it, and traveling is what a laptop is designed for. Should you be able to turn those sensors off or customize how they work? Sure. But the design is for how most people use the device. It would be really annoying to be traveling with a laptop and have it turn on because it was jostled the wrong way. I'm imagining sitting on an airplane and hearing all these computer startup noises coming from the overhead bins, tee hee.

I had an old stink pad that didnt always shut down when closed and sometimes was on even when it was off.

Sometimes videos played even though the laptop hadn't been touched in days.

As this is a laptop owned by me, I think you can guess what kind of sounds occasionally emanated from my bag.

I actually miss that little guy.

[Freehold DM]

Limeylongears wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

Woran wrote:

Limeylongears wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

"I'm not number one, I'm number one, two, three, four and five!" - KRS-ONE.

He's like the Thunderbirds, then. Which one is the underwater KRS?

Thunderbird 4 is the underwater one

Yes, it is.

Well, it's only 17:10 on a Tuesday and I've already seen a cartoon of a robot with a gigantic golden nob-rocket. What a week this is turning out to be!!!

got the follow up right here

[DeathQuaker]

Freehold DM wrote:

DeathQuaker wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

And here's another one that just baffles/peeves me: "You cannot turn on your laptop without opening the lid."

Everyone I know (with one exception) connects their laptop to an external keyboard, mouse, and monitor(s). There is no reason whatsoever to open the laptop. So, for example, every laptop in this house spends its existence closed.

EXCEPT, of course, to boot them. Because every laptop requires you to open it, THEN turn it on, THEN close it.

WHY?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

I know you aren't really asking, but because there are sensors in the open/close apparatus that let it turn off or on (or tells it to go to sleep etc.). More to the point, these sensors in the "closed" position prevent the computer from accidentally turning on when you travel with it, and traveling is what a laptop is designed for. Should you be able to turn those sensors off or customize how they work? Sure. But the design is for how most people use the device. It would be really annoying to be traveling with a laptop and have it turn on because it was jostled the wrong way. I'm imagining sitting on an airplane and hearing all these computer startup noises coming from the overhead bins, tee hee.

I had an old stink pad that didnt always shut down when closed and sometimes was on even when it was off.

Sometimes videos played even though the laptop hadn't been touched in days.

As this is a laptop owned by me, I think you can guess what kind of sounds occasionally emanated from my bag.

I actually miss that little guy.

My last laptop actually died because it stopped properly going to sleep when I closed it. It kept running without my realizing it and overheated (mind you, this was a 7 year old HP Pavilion where it was a miracle it was still performing at all up until this point). CPU was entirely burnt out by the time I realized it as still on, still stuck halfway through an episode of the Great British Bakeoff. I think it just couldn't withstand the majesty of Sue Perkins making puns about pie crust.

[NobodysHome]

DeathQuaker wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

And here's another one that just baffles/peeves me: "You cannot turn on your laptop without opening the lid."

Everyone I know (with one exception) connects their laptop to an external keyboard, mouse, and monitor(s). There is no reason whatsoever to open the laptop. So, for example, every laptop in this house spends its existence closed.

EXCEPT, of course, to boot them. Because every laptop requires you to open it, THEN turn it on, THEN close it.

WHY?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

I know you aren't really asking, but because there are sensors in the open/close apparatus that let it turn off or on (or tells it to go to sleep etc.). More to the point, these sensors in the "closed" position prevent the computer from accidentally turning on when you travel with it, and traveling is what a laptop is designed for. Should you be able to turn those sensors off or customize how they work? Sure. But the design is for how most people use the device. It would be really annoying to be traveling with a laptop and have it turn on because it was jostled the wrong way. I'm imagining sitting on an airplane and hearing all these computer startup noises coming from the overhead bins, tee hee.

Also, while I am sure you are not alone, you are literally the first and ONLY person I have ever heard of who actually uses your laptop completely like a desktop and regularly attaches it to an external monitor. (And I know a lot of people who work in IT and programming.) (Cue all the posts that follow that say "but DQ apparently everyone in your universe is a weirdo." Which is true, but besides the point, which is that using a laptop in this way is hardly universal even if some people do it.) And only very rarely to an external keyboard. An external mouse is more common especially if the trackpad is lousy, but I can't even say EVERYONE does that. But then, almost everyone I know uses their laptop as a portable computer that they can take places with them, and aren't going to carry a bunch of...

That's a very useful post, thank you.

For our group, laptops are easier to ship around and move from cubicle to cubicle, but everyone has a full docking station (monitor(s), keyboard, mouse, etc.) so the idea is, "Throw the laptop in your backback, take it to work, plug it in, open it, turn it on, close it, work."

Nobody owns a desktop any more.

And the docking stations are always placed somewhere "aesthetically pleasing" (i.e. hidden and out of the way), so it's always, "Every day crawl down under the desk to the docking station, open up the laptop, hit the power button, wait a moment for it to start, close it up, crawl back out, and get to work."

20 years ago we had keyboards with power buttons whereby you could power on your laptop using an external keyboard. That's all I ask for...

[Freehold DM]

DeathQuaker wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

DeathQuaker wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

And here's another one that just baffles/peeves me: "You cannot turn on your laptop without opening the lid."

Everyone I know (with one exception) connects their laptop to an external keyboard, mouse, and monitor(s). There is no reason whatsoever to open the laptop. So, for example, every laptop in this house spends its existence closed.

EXCEPT, of course, to boot them. Because every laptop requires you to open it, THEN turn it on, THEN close it.

WHY?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

I know you aren't really asking, but because there are sensors in the open/close apparatus that let it turn off or on (or tells it to go to sleep etc.). More to the point, these sensors in the "closed" position prevent the computer from accidentally turning on when you travel with it, and traveling is what a laptop is designed for. Should you be able to turn those sensors off or customize how they work? Sure. But the design is for how most people use the device. It would be really annoying to be traveling with a laptop and have it turn on because it was jostled the wrong way. I'm imagining sitting on an airplane and hearing all these computer startup noises coming from the overhead bins, tee hee.

I had an old stink pad that didnt always shut down when closed and sometimes was on even when it was off.

Sometimes videos played even though the laptop hadn't been touched in days.

As this is a laptop owned by me, I think you can guess what kind of sounds occasionally emanated from my bag.

I actually miss that little guy.

My last laptop actually died because it stopped properly going to sleep when I closed it. It kept running without my realizing it and overheated (mind you, this was a 7 year old HP Pavilion where it was a miracle it was still performing at all up until this point). CPU was entirely burnt out by the time I realized it as still on, still stuck halfway through an episode of the Great British Bakeoff. I think...

that sounds familiar. My back would get warm sometimes.

[John Napier 698]

Hello, everyone!

[DeathQuaker]

NobodysHome wrote:

DeathQuaker wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

And here's another one that just baffles/peeves me: "You cannot turn on your laptop without opening the lid."

Everyone I know (with one exception) connects their laptop to an external keyboard, mouse, and monitor(s). There is no reason whatsoever to open the laptop. So, for example, every laptop in this house spends its existence closed.

EXCEPT, of course, to boot them. Because every laptop requires you to open it, THEN turn it on, THEN close it.

WHY?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

I know you aren't really asking, but because there are sensors in the open/close apparatus that let it turn off or on (or tells it to go to sleep etc.). More to the point, these sensors in the "closed" position prevent the computer from accidentally turning on when you travel with it, and traveling is what a laptop is designed for. Should you be able to turn those sensors off or customize how they work? Sure. But the design is for how most people use the device. It would be really annoying to be traveling with a laptop and have it turn on because it was jostled the wrong way. I'm imagining sitting on an airplane and hearing all these computer startup noises coming from the overhead bins, tee hee.

Also, while I am sure you are not alone, you are literally the first and ONLY person I have ever heard of who actually uses your laptop completely like a desktop and regularly attaches it to an external monitor. (And I know a lot of people who work in IT and programming.) (Cue all the posts that follow that say "but DQ apparently everyone in your universe is a weirdo." Which is true, but besides the point, which is that using a laptop in this way is hardly universal even if some people do it.) And only very rarely to an external keyboard. An external mouse is more common especially if the trackpad is lousy, but I can't even say EVERYONE does that. But then, almost everyone I know uses their laptop as a portable computer that they can take places with them, and aren't

...

Huh, interesting. I think I'd just never bother to hook mine up to the docking station. But ergonomically it's much better to do so, and depends on what you're looking at too.

At my work (which I expect is entirely a different sort of place than yours) if we HAVE to take work home (which is frowned upon unless we've made arrangements due to FLSA adherence) we just access work files via Microsoft OneDrive cloud rather than cart around a physical device. (And mind, I have many issues with Microsoft myself, but just noting that's probably why I've not seen that--people use cloud services on work or home terminals rather than carry around laptops [which work doesn't want to have to be responsible for what happens to them in transit] ETA: to be clear my workplace doesn't do things better than yours it just chooses to spend or not spend on technology in different ways.).

[Freehold DM]

DeathQuaker wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

DeathQuaker wrote:

NobodysHome wrote:

And here's another one that just baffles/peeves me: "You cannot turn on your laptop without opening the lid."

Everyone I know (with one exception) connects their laptop to an external keyboard, mouse, and monitor(s). There is no reason whatsoever to open the laptop. So, for example, every laptop in this house spends its existence closed.

EXCEPT, of course, to boot them. Because every laptop requires you to open it, THEN turn it on, THEN close it.

WHY?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

I know you aren't really asking, but because there are sensors in the open/close apparatus that let it turn off or on (or tells it to go to sleep etc.). More to the point, these sensors in the "closed" position prevent the computer from accidentally turning on when you travel with it, and traveling is what a laptop is designed for. Should you be able to turn those sensors off or customize how they work? Sure. But the design is for how most people use the device. It would be really annoying to be traveling with a laptop and have it turn on because it was jostled the wrong way. I'm imagining sitting on an airplane and hearing all these computer startup noises coming from the overhead bins, tee hee.

Also, while I am sure you are not alone, you are literally the first and ONLY person I have ever heard of who actually uses your laptop completely like a desktop and regularly attaches it to an external monitor. (And I know a lot of people who work in IT and programming.) (Cue all the posts that follow that say "but DQ apparently everyone in your universe is a weirdo." Which is true, but besides the point, which is that using a laptop in this way is hardly universal even if some people do it.) And only very rarely to an external keyboard. An external mouse is more common especially if the trackpad is lousy, but I can't even say EVERYONE does that. But then, almost everyone I know uses their laptop as a portable computer that they can take

...

pah. I carry a full desktop with peripherals wherever I go. It keeps me in shape.

[DeathQuaker]

Freehold DM wrote:

pah. I carry a full desktop with peripherals wherever I go. It keeps me in shape.

Yeah, but you just push'em around in that giant fancy gamer chair, so it's not like you have to CARRY everything...

[Freehold DM]

DeathQuaker wrote:

Freehold DM wrote:

pah. I carry a full desktop with peripherals wherever I go. It keeps me in shape.

Yeah, but you just push'em around in that giant fancy gamer chair, so it's not like you have to CARRY everything...

I cant hear you over the arm curls I am doing with my external CD drive.