| 7 people marked this as a favorite. |
Boss: Why is the flame thrower attached to the pressure washer?
Me: Time saver!
Boss: So, what's the bayonet for?
Me: Commies.
Search Posts
How to find what parts of your body are arthritic in one easy step. 1. Spray yourself with water for 10 hours in 42-68 degree temps. I got to cut a bunch of pavers this morning, thus spraying my hands in about 42 degrees and now I get to spend the rest of my day pressure washing about 16 acres of pavers. Yay!? On the plus side, this will give me plenty of time to think of how I'm going to weaponize the pressure washer.
Working on the pavers at the Super McMansion, still. We're releveling about 60% of roughly an acre of pavers, so yeah, gonna be here awhile. However, it's looking super nice so far (especially the steps I redid) and there's nothing involving Feng Shui.
I dub thee PuzzleCasual Friday!
We are resetting pavers at an ultra McMansion in the middle of nowhere and the owners haven't moved in yet. Which, after a week in the Feng Shui Hole is just about as perfect as it gets. Also, it's 72 and sunny with a light breeze.
Me (to the new guy blocking my path for the third time): I can either hit the house, run over that shovel or run you over. I'm definitely not hitting the house, and that's a new shovel, so you might want to move New Guy: Wait? What!? "Dirt": I wouldn't test him, dude! I heard he was gonna have the football players knife fight for a rideback to the shop this summer!
How important is our job site. I had TWO mini bobcats on site to choose from. Not wanting to play favorites I switched back and forth between them.
Now it's time for the chop saw.
Co-worker is out with a toe injury and the boss is out on vacation, so looks like I'm my own boss today. Yay for working outside the chain of command!
Text from Bob Ross Captain: I'm going to stop over to your job site later and grab your mini bobcat, what's your address? Co-worker's reply: Yeah, that's a bad idea, Yesterday loves that mini bobcat and he's been using a chainsaw all day!
I learned I can wield a chainsaw ambidextrously this week.
Yay, all the concrete is broken up! With an hour to spare!
My only goal for today was to NOT get killed or maimed. But, between the truck without a seatbelt, the tree that's been trying to drop walnuts on my head, and the sixty foot drop off six inches off my mini bobcat path I'm beginning to wonder if that's a realistic goal. Edit: Well, at least I have that going for me! I should send some pictures to the General.
The Jose's left The Good Truck in the lot, so guess who got a new truck today. This guy!
I ALWAYS have a sledgehammer handy at work, usually two.
Overheard conversation between the new high schoolers hired this week and the ones hired last month. "Who's the guy with the hair?" "That's Yesterday, don't f$@+ with him, he beat up a mini bobcat!" "I heard a wall fell on his leg and he barely noticed!" "I saw him close the Death Trap's end gate, by himself" "What!? Are you serious!!".
|