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Women frighten me ^^'
Which tells most of the story behind my inability to have a relationship with the opposite sex.
More realistically though, would be the fact that I not really that ideal a person to share the same house with. Being an depressed, hard drinking AS-diagnosee (lets not discuss what that word actually means - its in my papers ^^) makes me, well, prickly and rather tiring to be around for extended periods of time.
The whole social faux pas phase, difficulty in showing affection in ways other then physical and a tendency to a harsh, brutal and forthright analysis of other people, tends to make me come across as crass, mean and a bit "handsie".
Lastly, I carry a distinct fear that, I might carry a bit of my father with me, which in a stressful moment, could spur me to physically assault a possible partner. Not something I would wish on anyone.
In short, I think the primary problem is on my side instead of on the pool of women, looking for a partner.
Also, when the question of my profession comes up, telling a date that I'm a stable-boy, hasn't resulted in many a moistened pair of panties ^^'
...
And I'm naked! how appropriate!
I'm extremely unapproachable, especially if you catch me at work.
I did tick one former coworker off when I friendzoned her. We haven't talked since, and I'm in no hurry to rebuild that bridge.
I don't get dates because I'm an antisocial j@$%@$s.
I'm extremely cheerful, especially if you catch me in the morning.
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I don't know what I'm going to do with kids... Eh. I'll leave them in the jungle someplace for wolves to raise.
Kidding. But I'm pretty sure I WILL bring them to the jungle at some point of time, considering the great outdoors as part of their education.
I will teach them how to climb over fences and move quietly so as not to unduly scare off animals. Sadly I can't teach them to climb trees, never having learnt to do it myself.
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Kjeldorn - if you're aware that what your father did is wrong, you're not too likely to repeat it. Mind you, that would only apply if you're sober. If you're drunk, bets are off.
So don't drunk excessively.
Edit: Captain Yesterday! I'm a morning cat! I'm all bright and perky in the morning!
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Oh yay, shithead brother jumped off 17 days sober, got so f*%@ed up last night that he was still drunk at 2pm today. Caused a big fight in front of our mom, and...just...just f#*@ him.
Giving me a place to stay does not entitle him to treat me like a slave, bully me, make fun of me constantly, belittle me, and just overall be the piece of shit he is when he's drunk.
Thank God I start the new job tomorrow. We had plans to stay together until his lease runs up in June so we could both pay off excess bills and stuff, but you know what? Soon as I'm even partially capable I'm going to GTFO, and never, I repeat, never talk to him again. I'm deleting his number, and I already told my mother I'll never go to an event she invites us both to.
Blood can f##& itself. DNA doesn't mean shit when someone bullies you, threatens your physical well being, and threatens to have his dog attack you if you don't get out of the house without giving you time to pack up your things.
He's a bit pissed cause I told his boss about him doing coke last time we butt heads like this. I, admittedly, was trying to get him fired (his boss is an old...acquaintance of mine. I'd say friend but I've known him 30 years and he didn't even TRY to help me find a job when I was desperate, and he runs five branches of a company). Yeah, trying to get him fired was a dick move, but not as big of a dick move as kicking me out at 9am, not letting me even have time to pack up my stuff including my ferret because you're holding your dog by the collar and giving him the command word to attack and having him snarling and barking, while repeatedly threatening that he'd beat the shit out of me. (He was so drunk from the night before he was STILL drunk in the morning.) He's a bully, pure and simple.
The worst part is my f%&%ing enabler mom who dealt with this shit for my dad thinks I need to just suck it up and be his b!*!+, because she was a codependent enabler for 20 years with my dad, and doesn't understand I'd rather walk up to a hospital, say I'm going to kill myself, and get locked up with a place to eat and sleep for three days than put up with someone threatening my physical or psychological well being.
I should've stayed in Jax. At least my friends wouldn't be belittling be, calling me a pussy, and stuff like that while I slept on their couch and looked for a job. Familial ties are 100% meaningless to me at this point.
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Freehold enjoys recreational carnal activities in large amounts with ladies.
We supposedly got up to 1 degree today, I seriously doubt it ever felt that warm though.
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TVE: Blood is thicker than water. I.e. not very. Don't accept shit like that. Good on you for not doing so.
At 1 am it was 29 degrees Fahrenheit. BRRRR!!! I am sorry, Freehold DM, but we do not want the next Ice Age.
I would do Things if I could feel 29 degrees again.
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I would do Things if I could feel 29 degrees again.
But for Savannah, GA 29 is COLD!!! I blame Freehold DM.
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One of my friends got hold of a large quantity of condemned winter vegetables, so I went over to his house yesterday and we tested out our new swords on them, in the rain. It was a lot of fun, but surprisingly tiring...
With the new pack in YGO Duel Links, there is a deck that has a ~70% chance of winning on the first turn.
'Broken Bamboo Sword' is living up to its name. :)
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Oh yay, s&#*head brother jumped off 17 days sober, got so f%*&ed up last night that he was still drunk at 2pm today. Caused a big fight in front of our mom, and...just...just f!&% him.
Giving me a place to stay does not entitle him to treat me like a slave, bully me, make fun of me constantly, belittle me, and just overall be the piece of s!!! he is when he's drunk.
Thank God I start the new job tomorrow. We had plans to stay together until his lease runs up in June so we could both pay off excess bills and stuff, but you know what? Soon as I'm even partially capable I'm going to GTFO, and never, I repeat, never talk to him again. I'm deleting his number, and I already told my mother I'll never go to an event she invites us both to.
Blood can f@@& itself. DNA doesn't mean s!@* when someone bullies you, threatens your physical well being, and threatens to have his dog attack you if you don't get out of the house without giving you time to pack up your things.
He's a bit pissed cause I told his boss about him doing coke last time we butt heads like this. I, admittedly, was trying to get him fired (his boss is an old...acquaintance of mine. I'd say friend but I've known him 30 years and he didn't even TRY to help me find a job when I was desperate, and he runs five branches of a company). Yeah, trying to get him fired was a dick move, but not as big of a dick move as kicking me out at 9am, not letting me even have time to pack up my stuff including my ferret because you're holding your dog by the collar and giving him the command word to attack and having him snarling and barking, while repeatedly threatening that he'd beat the s&#! out of me. (He was so drunk from the night before he was STILL drunk in the morning.) He's a bully, pure and simple.
The worst part is my f*~~ing enabler mom who dealt with this s#!! for my dad thinks I need to just suck it up and be his b#&~!, because she was a codependent enabler for 20 years with my dad, and doesn't understand I'd rather walk up to a...
I can't stand living with my dad but he is in such bad shape himself. I find him threatening my belonings worse than attacking me. He did threaten my belongings. He fell and blamed me for a bike cover when I did not even put the bikes there that had been there for years. and is mad I called 911 when he was bleeding out. I think he is getting beyond my ability to take care of but he gets me so upset I get litterally nothing done and can't stand to be in the same room as him if he is awake.
Hello!
Is anyone here?
HELLO!!!
[echoes]
Hello!
Is anyone here?
HELLO!!!
[/echoes]
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A good laugh to start the day off right...
My favorite quote:
“I wasn’t sure why he was there — I figured maybe he had heard about my signature reggaeton-Celtic fusion rendition of ‘Hallelujah’ and wanted to experience it firsthand,” he remarked. “But as soon as I took out my bodhrán he just let out this really long sigh and said ‘Have you considered learning some jazz standards?’”
Ex wives spirit animal.
oh my god...OH MY GOD! NO! MERCY FOR THAT POOR CREATURE!
A good laugh to start the day off right...
My favorite quote:
“I wasn’t sure why he was there — I figured maybe he had heard about my signature reggaeton-Celtic fusion rendition of ‘Hallelujah’ and wanted to experience it firsthand,” he remarked. “But as soon as I took out my bodhrán he just let out this really long sigh and said ‘Have you considered learning some jazz standards?’”
that guy needs to stop doing that ish.
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First day at the new job. Excited and nervous all at once.
Good luck! I have faith in you!
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Sorry. Pushing Strange Aeons back into full speed mode, and Book 3 is quite taxing on the GM with the copy paste requirements.
So yeah, haven't been posting much.
Spent New Year playing path of exile, on and off and baking banana cake. (Psst I told my mom she got me the wrong type of banana. The banana muffins taste more like butter cake then banana cake).
Good luck, TOZ!
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TVE:
Your brother sound like he's on a downward spiral threatening to drag the people around him, with him, down. Judging from the point, to which, your relationship has deteriorated, it would be best for you to get out of there and put some distance between you two. Maybe time and space will help get the relationship back on track, maybe it won't...never the less, you need to do what's best for you right now and that seems to be a quick and clean break with your brother.
DrWu:
Been following your posts for a while, but I've been hesitant to chime in...because well I'm no expert nor do I have a fancy degree. I'm not that sociable person nor do I play that well with other. But that said, your post have struck a cord with me.
I don't know your father's particular problems, but he sounds like a person in a lot of pain, which unfortunately has left him lashing unfairly out at the people nearest to him. Its not fair, neither for him to take his pain out on you, nor is it likely fair for him to be in pain in the first place. I wish I knew more...just as I wish I could give you some easy answer, that could ease your troubles somehow...
What I can say, is that you have to look out for yourself. The bullying, the blaming and the threats will grind you down, and at some point you will have to confront your father with the fact, that you can't go on. He will have to face the fact, that you won't be around forever, that when he's left with only himself to blame, threaten and bully, he'll likely see his own ego crack and crumble under that pressure.
In short: Look out for your self Wu, you know when it's enough, and while it's noble for you to want to look after your father, it shouldn't be at the expense of your own well being.
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New job training starts in T-Minus 1 hour starting...now! Prepare to know a professional card shark.
When I woke up this morning it was -15 F. Before wind chill. That was a nice -24 F. I know there are places in the US (let alone other parts of the world) where it gets colder, but I think we've reached the point where it doesn't matter. The body just doesn't register temperatures colder than this as anything other than "Holy (*&@#%(% that's cold!"
And my 10 minute drive to work required 42 minutes today due to an accident on a bridge. This is not a day I would want to hang around outside a car accident on a bridge.
First day at the new job. Excited and nervous all at once.
TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ TOZ
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New job training starts in T-Minus 1 hour starting...now! Prepare to know a professional card shark.
TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE TVE
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A good laugh to start the day off right...
My favorite quote:
“I wasn’t sure why he was there — I figured maybe he had heard about my signature reggaeton-Celtic fusion rendition of ‘Hallelujah’ and wanted to experience it firsthand,” he remarked. “But as soon as I took out my bodhrán he just let out this really long sigh and said ‘Have you considered learning some jazz standards?’”
I like to sing the words to 'The Teddy Bear's Picnic' to the tune of 'Hallelujah'.
I am not a fan of Jeff Buckley's music in general, rest his soul, and I really didn't like his version of that song, which is the one that every bugger turns to for inspiration.
~bangs my head against the concrete wall~
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A good laugh to start the day off right...
My favorite quote:
“I wasn’t sure why he was there — I figured maybe he had heard about my signature reggaeton-Celtic fusion rendition of ‘Hallelujah’ and wanted to experience it firsthand,” he remarked. “But as soon as I took out my bodhrán he just let out this really long sigh and said ‘Have you considered learning some jazz standards?’”
Isn't it obvious?
Leonard Cohen is the Messiah! He is the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost, and he has revealed himself to this Canadian music student! Praise be to Cohen, and his prophet Michael!
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If you think it's cold where you are, check out Canada.
I'll tell you what, if you want a truly soul-searing experience from which you will never recover, check out the underwear section on wish.com.
I'll tell you what, if you want a truly soul-searing experience from which you will never recover, check out the underwear section on wish.com.
...okay.
Did they finally put up my modelling shots.
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High here was 17* today. -10.5 for your Celsius types. Nope nope nope.
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Oh yay, s!+#head brother jumped off 17 days sober, got so f%!+ed up last night that he was still drunk at 2pm today. Caused a big fight in front of our mom, and...just...just f~@@ him.
Giving me a place to stay does not entitle him to treat me like a slave, bully me, make fun of me constantly, belittle me, and just overall be the piece of s*~* he is when he's drunk.
Thank God I start the new job tomorrow. We had plans to stay together until his lease runs up in June so we could both pay off excess bills and stuff, but you know what? Soon as I'm even partially capable I'm going to GTFO, and never, I repeat, never talk to him again. I'm deleting his number, and I already told my mother I'll never go to an event she invites us both to.
Blood can f#** itself. DNA doesn't mean s*@! when someone bullies you, threatens your physical well being, and threatens to have his dog attack you if you don't get out of the house without giving you time to pack up your things.
He's a bit pissed cause I told his boss about him doing coke last time we butt heads like this. I, admittedly, was trying to get him fired (his boss is an old...acquaintance of mine. I'd say friend but I've known him 30 years and he didn't even TRY to help me find a job when I was desperate, and he runs five branches of a company). Yeah, trying to get him fired was a dick move, but not as big of a dick move as kicking me out at 9am, not letting me even have time to pack up my stuff including my ferret because you're holding your dog by the collar and giving him the command word to attack and having him snarling and barking, while repeatedly threatening that he'd beat the s#@~ out of me. (He was so drunk from the night before he was STILL drunk in the morning.) He's a bully, pure and simple.
The worst part is my f$&*ing enabler mom who dealt with this s%+$ for my dad thinks I need to just suck it up and be his b+*~$, because she was a codependent enabler for 20 years with my dad, and doesn't understand I'd rather walk up to a...
My advice is going to sound harsh. Bitter experience in dealing with bad family ties can cause that.
Drop all three of them from your life for awhile. Brother, mother, and father.
Sometimes, to send a message people will actually listen to that you will not accept something, you have to take actions you know will anger and hurt people. But if they are not going to listen any other way, and from what you have said I get an idea that reasonable discussion is most definitely not working, then more drastic measures are your only options for a path in life where you do not have "Welcome To Our Home" tattooed on your back.
So drop all communication with them once you find a place, and tell them exactly why.
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High here was 17* today. -10.5 for your Celsius types. Nope nope nope.
We got up to 11 today, I seriously considered going barefoot in the backyard this morning.
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I can't stand living with my dad but he is in such bad shape himself. I find him threatening my belonings worse than attacking me. He did threaten my belongings. He fell and blamed me for a bike cover when I did not even put the bikes there that had been there for years. and is mad I called 911 when he was bleeding out. I think he is getting beyond my ability to take care of but he gets me so upset I get litterally nothing done and can't stand to be in the same room as him if he is awake.
It sounds like his health, and the toll it's taking on his interactions with you, requires far more care than you can provide. I hate to suggest this, but have you considered a nursing home? They will have resources you might not, and provide care in ways you cannot. Plus, socializing with people his own age can help a bit, as he'll have people around him who understand exactly what he is going through and can empathize.
New job training starts in T-Minus 1 hour starting...now! Prepare to know a professional card shark.
Now I know: never play poker with TVE.
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I made a rare trip into SF with my family today.
We had a $25 gift certificate from one of my students for the good doughnut place in the Mission, and the Conservatory of Flowers does free admission on first Tuesdays. When we came out of the Conservatory, we found six old men playing jazz together under a bridge in Golden Gate Park.
Then we went for lunch at a little Russian bakery that my daughter likes.
And then we drove out to the avenues to the one amazing Polish deli on the West Coast, and I bought two and a half pounds of their homemade Hunters Sausage and some Polish cheesecake, which puts the American crap to shame.
This was a damned fine day.
Tomorrow I'm going to teach my daughter how to make pierogi.
I made a rare trip into SF with my family today.
We had a $25 gift certificate from one of my students for the good doughnut place in the Mission, and the Conservatory of Flowers does free admission on first Tuesdays. When we came out of the Conservatory, we found six old men playing jazz together under a bridge in Golden Gate Park.
Then we went for lunch at a little Russian bakery that my daughter likes.
And then we drove out to the avenues to the one amazing Polish deli on the West Coast, and I bought two and a half pounds of their homemade Hunters Sausage and some Polish cheesecake, which puts the American crap to shame.
This was a damned fine day.
Tomorrow I'm going to teach my daughter how to make pierogi.
Glad she's feeling better and up and about!
But she did miss the 4-hour Cards Against Humanity marathon with me, Hi, Shiro, the Impii, and the Fake Russian's wife.
My conclusion: Cards Against Humanity really isn't all that fun a game.