
gran rey de los mono |
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A man received a text from his neighbor that read: "I am so sorry, Bob. I've been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincere apology with a promise that I will never do it again."
The man was very angry, took his gun, and shot his wife. Then he started heading towards the neighbor's house when his phone pinged. It was a second text from the neighbor. It said "Not wife, wifi. Stupid autocorrect."

Vidmaster7 |
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A man received a text from his neighbor that read: "I am so sorry, Bob. I've been tapping your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I'm not getting any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincere apology with a promise that I will never do it again."
The man was very angry, took his gun, and shot his wife. Then he started heading towards the neighbor's house when his phone pinged. It was a second text from the neighbor. It said "Not wife, wifi. Stupid autocorrect."
This is why its always a good idea to confirm shocking news.

Nylarthotep |
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Thank you for input regarding my previous inquiry. No one seems to do one stop solutions anymore (email, domain hosting, and registrar). Google needed three contracts, one with a third party vendor. Others all seemed to be lacking...something.
Brinkster seems to have gotten its stuff back together, so will stay with them for a bit.
New query.
I want to commission a chart/map thing. I thought I could advertise commissions on patreon, but if so, I have not figured out how to do so yet.
Is there another community where a patron can solicit particular works? I don't mind paying a reasonable fee for this sort of thing, but I really don't know where such communities are.
This particular project is based on the US map with data superimposed.

NobodysHome |
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Well, NobodysHome is all grumpiness this morning!
One of the players from the Skull & Shackles game is so angry about the way it went (and the poor decisions by the other two players) that he won't even discuss the game. I've never seen one bad gaming day jeopardize an entire campaign before, but he's really pissed, and of course I don't feel it was bad enough to generate that level of resentment.
My hope is that he'll calm down before we next play, because next session is going to be all about damage control.
I can understand being really upset/angry/frustrated with how a session went. I react by venting. He reacts by shutting down discussion. That's fine. Everyone deals in their own way.
But it is frustrating for me to be sitting here 48 hours later unable to discuss, "OK, that went poorly. How are we going to fix it?"
I'm definitely a, "That sucked! Now what do we do to fix it?" kind of guy.
So that was hanging over my head, and then this morning went poorly, so I didn't wake up Impus Minor at his usual 5:30 am wakeup time. But I got him up at 6:30 am, got him settled, and gave him fresh pancakes and chocolate milk.
And he then spent the next hour watching TV and playing video games, didn't touch a bite, and then went to school in near tears because he didn't have his P.E. clothes, didn't have anything to eat, and today was going to suck, and it was all MY fault.
Nothing like watching your kid dig their own hole and then blame you for it to make you cranky.
So just not a great morning, overall. But nothing major, so I should be thankful for that.

Tacticslion |

How do you think the unthinkable? Just thteer into the itheberg.
I helped!
I used to name my autocorrect "putocorrector" a lot on my old phone because I hated it, "puto" being a curse word.
I named it like that so many times that each time I typed it right it corrected itself to "putocorrector" again.
It knew what it was.TL, I discovered that some time ago, and I am excited about it too. Even if I don't have a PC, I want!!!
Hahah!

Tacticslion |

Werner Heisenberg and Erwin Schrodinger are driving in a car when a cop pulls them over for speeding. The cop says "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies "No. But I can tell you exactly were I was." Thinking this strange, the cop searches the car and finds a dead cat in the trunk. He says "Did you know there's a dead cat in your trunk?" Schrodinger replies "Well, I do now."
A mathematician and an engineer are walking down the road when they see a beautiful woman ahead of them. They both make some quick measurements, pull out their calculators, and do some math. The mathematician says "I have no intention of pursuing her, as my calculations show it would take an infinite amount of time to reach her." The engineer double-checks his figures, and starts after her saying "According to my calculations, in ten minutes I'll be close enough for practical purposes."
A physicist sees a man about to jump off a tall building. He calls out "Don't do it! You have so much potential right now!"
If you divide the circumference of a Jack-o-lantern by it's diameter, what do you get? Pumpkin Pi.
A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician are out hunting when they see a deer 50 yards out. The physicist does some quick calculations, assuming a vacuum, lifts his rifle to a specific angle and fires, but his shot falls 5 yards short. The engineer does similar math, but adds a fudge factor for wind resistance and fires, but his shot goes 5 yards long. The statistician jumps up and down excitedly, yelling "WE GOT IT! WE GOT IT!"
Do you know what I find odd? Numbers that can't be divisible by 2 without a remainder.
These are my jam!
---
gran rey de los mono wrote:A proton goes to check into a hotel. The bellhop asks if he has any luggage. The proton says "No, I'm travelling light."DAMMIT I MEANT PHOTON! PHOTON FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!!
Ah, so you caught that!
---
A proton cleric of good alignment. It charges you with positive energy.
A proton paladin should be a cathion for sure, as it would refuse to join electrons... too much negativity.
If it does it, it would become neutral, so the proton falls.
But... those cathions can be so attractive...

Tacticslion |
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Well, NobodysHome is all grumpiness this morning!
One of the players from the Skull & Shackles game is so angry about the way it went (and the poor decisions by the other two players) that he won't even discuss the game. I've never seen one bad gaming day jeopardize an entire campaign before, but he's really pissed, and of course I don't feel it was bad enough to generate that level of resentment.
My hope is that he'll calm down before we next play, because next session is going to be all about damage control.
I can understand being really upset/angry/frustrated with how a session went. I react by venting. He reacts by shutting down discussion. That's fine. Everyone deals in their own way.
But it is frustrating for me to be sitting here 48 hours later unable to discuss, "OK, that went poorly. How are we going to fix it?"I'm definitely a, "That sucked! Now what do we do to fix it?" kind of guy.
So that was hanging over my head, and then this morning went poorly, so I didn't wake up Impus Minor at his usual 5:30 am wakeup time. But I got him up at 6:30 am, got him settled, and gave him fresh pancakes and chocolate milk.
And he then spent the next hour watching TV and playing video games, didn't touch a bite, and then went to school in near tears because he didn't have his P.E. clothes, didn't have anything to eat, and today was going to suck, and it was all MY fault.
Nothing like watching your kid dig their own hole and then blame you for it to make you cranky.So just not a great morning, overall. But nothing major, so I should be thankful for that.
I know something that will help! Read the jokes I just quoted above, again! :D
EDIT: (To be clear, I am sorry, and I empathize for a sucky morning. But hopefully some jokes will help mitigate it. Especially jokes that are right up our ally!)

NobodysHome |
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I know something that will help! Read the jokes I just quoted above, again! :D
EDIT: (To be clear, I am sorry, and I empathize for a sucky morning. But hopefully some jokes will help mitigate it. Especially jokes that are right up our ally!)
Well, it's more, "Waiting for other people to calm down so I can talk with them."
Anyway, work calls. Gotta run!

NobodysHome |
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Holy Smite: It's actually quite lethal to an average commoner - it deals half the normal damage to creatures that are neither good or evil (i.e. neutral), or quarter on a successful Will save. As majority of commoners tend to be neutral and have poor hit points and Will saves... *holy splat*
I removed the spoiler because Holy Smite is a standard spell, and I was indeed using it on first-level NPCs.
And no, it's not lethal.
An out-of-the-box commoner has 6 hit points and a CON of 10, meaning I need to do 16 hit points to kill them.
Holy Smite does 5d8 to non-outsiders, with half damage to neutrals. On average, that's 22.5/2 = 11.25 damage, definitely in the non-lethal range. In fact, to get to the lethal level, I'd have to roll a 32 on 5d8. Given a mean of 22.5 and a variance of 26.25, that's 1.85 standard deviations above the mean, or a probability of 3.22% of killing even normal commoners.
These were "experts", giving them 8 hit points instead of 6, reducing my chances to rolling a 36 on 5d8, or 2.63 standard deviations, or a 0.43% chance of actually killing anyone.
I'll argue that an "under 0.5% chance of killing anyone" is better than, "If the rats all decide to swarm the NPCs they're all going to die."
But maybe that's just me. ;-)

Freehold DM |
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gran rey de los mono wrote:Werner Heisenberg and Erwin Schrodinger are driving in a car when a cop pulls them over for speeding. The cop says "Do you know how fast you were going?" Heisenberg replies "No. But I can tell you exactly were I was." Thinking this strange, the cop searches the car and finds a dead cat in the trunk. He says "Did you know there's a dead cat in your trunk?" Schrodinger replies "Well, I do now."gran rey de los mono wrote:A mathematician and an engineer are walking down the road when they see a beautiful woman ahead of them. They both make some quick measurements, pull out their calculators, and do some math. The mathematician says "I have no intention of pursuing her, as my calculations show it would take an infinite amount of time to reach her." The engineer double-checks his figures, and starts after her saying "According to my calculations, in ten minutes I'll be close enough for practical purposes."gran rey de los mono wrote:A physicist sees a man about to jump off a tall building. He calls out "Don't do it! You have so much potential right now!"gran rey de los mono wrote:If you divide the circumference of a Jack-o-lantern by it's diameter, what do you get? Pumpkin Pi.gran rey de los mono wrote:A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician are out hunting when they see a deer 50 yards out. The physicist does some quick calculations, assuming a vacuum, lifts his rifle to a specific angle and fires, but his shot falls 5 yards short. The engineer does similar math, but adds a fudge factor for wind resistance and fires, but his shot goes 5 yards long. The statistician jumps up and down excitedly, yelling "WE GOT IT! WE GOT IT!"gran rey de los mono wrote:Do you know what I find odd? Numbers that can't be divisible by 2 without a remainder.These are my jam!
unjams tacticslion, offers him pamphlet on the evils of math

Freehold DM |
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Drejk wrote:Holy Smite: It's actually quite lethal to an average commoner - it deals half the normal damage to creatures that are neither good or evil (i.e. neutral), or quarter on a successful Will save. As majority of commoners tend to be neutral and have poor hit points and Will saves... *holy splat*I removed the spoiler because Holy Smite is a standard spell, and I was indeed using it on first-level NPCs.
And no, it's not lethal.
An out-of-the-box commoner has 6 hit points and a CON of 10, meaning I need to do 16 hit points to kill them.
Holy Smite does 5d8 to non-outsiders, with half damage to neutrals. On average, that's 22.5/2 = 11.25 damage, definitely in the non-lethal range. In fact, to get to the lethal level, I'd have to roll a 32 on 5d8. Given a mean of 22.5 and a variance of 26.25, that's 1.85 standard deviations above the mean, or a probability of 3.22% of killing even normal commoners.
These were "experts", giving them 8 hit points instead of 6, reducing my chances to rolling a 36 on 5d8, or 2.63 standard deviations, or a 0.43% chance of actually killing anyone.
I'll argue that an "under 0.5% chance of killing anyone" is better than, "If the rats all decide to swarm the NPCs they're all going to die."
But maybe that's just me. ;-)
I think that's just you....I add con to hit points for first level and have been yelled at for that for years...few people do that.

captain yesterday |
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APs can be weird sometimes. I ran the beginning of Carrion Crown as written for my brothers and four pig farmers died.
I ended up giving everyone the night in jail and that was that. "They're just pig farmers" the sheriff said.
In fairness to myself, it took me months to get everyone together, so I wasn't going to let it get derailed five minutes in by a bunch of farmers.

captain yesterday |
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I got my review. I'm moderately successful at sales.
The lesson learned here.
Anyone can be moderately successful, if you don't try.
My favorite part of my review, I got exceeds expectations for attendance as I'm "always at work when I'm scheduled as far as anyone can figure out" which is now my all time favorite quote of any review i've ever had. :-)
I also scored super strong with product knowledge, being able to adapt my job, and got really high scores in the customer satisfaction surveys, which apparently other people fill out.

NobodysHome |
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A very useful chart
What I find interesting is that our "top four favorite series" (Trigun, One Punch Man, Soul Eater, and Seven Deadly Sins) didn't make it, while many series we ended up getting tired of and turning off made it (Death Note, Attack on Titan, Kill la Kill, High School of the Dead).
We obviously have very different tastes than the creator.
EDIT: We mesh in some places. As long as you pretend there's only one season, Sword Art Online is amazing. Slayers is hilarious fun. Samurai Champloo was stylish and we liked it, but we didn't have time to watch it and it wasn't to everyone's tastes. But at least the chart gives me some ideas...

NobodysHome |
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He was more surprised at the heat of my indignation than at the text message itself; I guess kids these days are so inured to online hate and threats that he just thought (almost) nothing of it; though it was remarkable enough for him to show it to me.
So I'm ornery. I had a phone number. I had a city. I called the police and asked to file a police report so the police would stop by and tell them that sending death threats to 13-year-olds is not OK.
And as is typical, the police response was, "You're better off ignoring it."
In short, yes, texting death threats is a crime, but the D.A. isn't going to prosecute something so petty, so all we'd do is make the perpetrator aware of us, so it's better to let her go on her merry way, threatening other people into sending her money, and just forget we ever heard from her.
My Lawful nature bristles that law enforcement considers people who send death threats in order to extort money from the gullible to be not worth prosecuting, while the same group will happily spend half an hour writing you a ticket for rolling at 3 mph through a stop sign at 3:00 am in the morning.
And if I'd said, "Oh, and she offered my son some crystal meth," I'm sure there'd be a SWAT team at her door already.

captain yesterday |
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captain yesterday wrote:You'd be surprised what you can find in adult (collectable) toy aisle.Like doggy sex toys?
If you want to pay full price.
However, we prefer to get our extra large teddy bears from thrift stores. You pay a fraction of the cost.
Of course, if you really want to cause psychological damage to a teenager, get it at Build-a-Bear and be super upfront about what it's for the entire time (i've never actually done this, yet).

NobodysHome |
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*yawn*
I want more sleep dammit.
Also, getting up early is more pointless today than usual.
** spoiler omitted **
You'll soon be getting even LESS sleep!
Impus Major is determined to have his necromancer create one of every undead in every Bestiary we own (1-4), and he keeps asking, "Dad, what do I need to create this?"
I finally said, "Hey, know that Drejk guy who posts on the thread? He does a LOT of Bestiary entries. You should ask HIM what HE thinks..."
You're welcome! :-P