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Pea Bear is going on a school canoeing field trip (the upside to having a city with 3 lakes) she put off telling me until the last minute because she was afraid I'd say No (Boats are my second biggest fear, but strangely not canoes, I love canoeing!) I happily wrote out the permission/we're not legally responsible slip and told her what a great time she'll have:-)
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I can't say I've ever gone canoeing naked, but what the hell, just gotta stay away from the shallows, that's where the Leaches lurk...
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Is FB message center down for anyone else? It straight-up refuses to load, linking to a blank page. I have to go to m.facebook.com from my laptop just to view my messages.
Yeah, I know, MySpace is way better.
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Monster Rancher
That is a thing that existed. I remember that for some reason.
Freehold explain this to me.
Bandai Namco is developing a Playstation Virtual Reality game called "Summer Lesson."
In the hyper realistic game, you will teach Japanese girl English or an American girl Japanese.
Knowing the Japanese, it probably has something to do with seeing her underwear.
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Parappa the Rapper, my younger brother loved that one!
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Parappa the Rapper, my younger brother loved that one!
PARAPPA THE RAPPA!!!!!!!!
Knowing the Japanese, it probably has something to do with seeing her underwear.Freehold explain this to me.
Bandai Namco is developing a Playstation Virtual Reality game called "Summer Lesson."
In the hyper realistic game, you will teach Japanese girl English or an American girl Japanese.
Quiet you. I'm waiting on this line that goes back several city blocks.
Pea Bear is going on a school canoeing field trip (the upside to having a city with 3 lakes) she put off telling me until the last minute because she was afraid I'd say No (Boats are my second biggest fear, but strangely not canoes, I love canoeing!) I happily wrote out the permission/we're not legally responsible slip and told her what a great time she'll have:-)
This is going to sound a LOT more grim than intended, but only because it explains my cold sweats every time I hear about my kids doing so much as going to a water park:
1983: Friend drowned in a boating accident on San Francisco Bay1990: Friend drowned "falling off a pier" under questionable circumstances
1991: Best friend drowned himself
1994: Friend was killed in a motorcycle accident because an oncoming pickup ran a red light, then couldn't stop in time... because of the rain
Yeah, water and people I know don't mix. Which is terrible, because I'm a fairly awesome swimmer: I've gone 4+ miles in 58-degree water, and can pull either kid across the pools at Disneyland with no trouble. I've made it 30 feet in 32-degree water, but let me tell you: No matter what anyone says, it SUCKS!!!!!
Anyway, back to your regularly-scheduled TMNT worship...
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- A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse if it's an alcoholic, considering all the bars that the horse frequents, to which the horse replies "I think not!" The horse disappears.
A student of philosophy would find this funny, as they are familiar with the philosophical proposition of "cogito ergo sum," or, "I think, therefore, I am." However, to explain the concept before telling the joke would be putting Descartes before the horse.
- A Roman walks into a bar, sticks two fingers up to the barman and says, "Five beers please."
- Another Roman walks into a bar and orders a martinus. "Don't you mean a martini?" asked the bartender. "If I wanted a double, I would have asked for one!" replied the Roman.
- The same Roman decides to go to another bar, and again asks for a martinus. "A what?" asks the bartender. To which the Roman replies, "a martinus--you know, martinus, martini, martinum, martinorum?"
The bartender nods and leaves. After fifteen minutes have passed, the Roman has still not gotten his drink.
He summons the bartender again and asks, "where's my martinus?" "Sir, you declined the martinus," replies the bartender.
- Two Germans walk into an English bar and call to the bartender. "Two martinis, please, Barmann", says one of the Germans. "Certainly sir," the bartender replies, "would you like dry martinis?" The German replies angrily, "nein drei, zwei!"
- A man walks into a bar holding a very long straight stick. The barman asks, "are you a pole vaulter?" To which the man says, "no, I'm German, but how do you know my name?"
- Q: How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
A: No potatoes. - Q: How many Germans does it take to screw in a lighbulb?
A: One. They are efficient and have no sense of humor.And finally, my absolute favorite (possibly my crowning moment as a humorist (well, really, my only moment as a humorist)):
- In 1939, a group of English mountaineers set out from Aliabad on an expedition to climb the feared and deadly mountain K2. The leader of the expedition, Sir Terrence Carlisle, was inexperienced, and had recently purchased for himself a brand new set of gear-- ice axes, pitons, crampons, boots, rope, etc. His colleagues in the Royal Geographical Society had warned against using untested equipment, but the young Sir Terrence was adamant.
Starting from the South Face, the party began to climb the icy peak. Master climber Damian Callaghan led the party, followed by Lieutenant Charles Walpole of the Royal Marines, Sherpas Ang Nyi-Ma, Ki-lu Pemba, and Jangmu Gyatso, with Ser Terrence bringing up the rear. As Sir Terrence began to climb, he found himself unable to gain purchase with his ice axe. He struggled in vain to climb higher, as his companions grew more and more distant, deaf to his cries due to the howling winds.
Eventually, Sir Terrence grew tired, sat down with his back against the ice cliff, and slowly froze to death. As the rest of the expedition began to make camp for the night, Callaghan realized that the expedition's leader was nowhere to be found. He announced to the party that, with darkness quickly falling, they would camp for the night, and search for Sir Terrence in the morning.
Day broke, and the five remaining expedition members slowly began to climb back down the mountain, calling out for Sir Terrence. Near midday, Lt. Walpole and Gyatso discovered the body of Sir Terrence Carlisle, still clutching his rope, pitons, and ice axe. Walpole called to Callaghan, and the two men stood over their leader's body shaking their heads.
Callaghan reached down, dusted the snow off of Sir Terrence's body, and pried the ice axe out of the dead man's frozen fingers. Sighing in desolation and exhaustion, Callaghan examined the implement, then handed it Lt. Walpole, staring off into the distance. Finally, after a long silence, Callaghan turned to Walpole, speaking in a low, soft voice.
"After all of our preparation, all of our hard work and sacrifice, the whole expedition came down to an anti-climb axe."
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Q: How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman?
A: No potatoes.
My favorite-ever quote from Impus Major remains:
"The potato blight virus is useful because it kills Irishmen."
What else was he supposed to say?
I JUST heard the expedition one at th SAR meeting.
Awesome stuff, man!
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On spotting a book I had left lying open on the table: "Shoot, I left that book on."
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Pea Bear, while we're looking around the Halloween costumes asks incredulously "who would want to be an angel on the day we honor the Devil!"
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Pea Bear looking at a Gorilla costume "Why would a Gorilla have red high tops, it's like they're not even trying"
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Tiny T-Rex holding a sword (very seriously): Tell me where the money is!"
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Pea Bear, while we're looking around the Halloween costumes asks incredulously "who would want to be an angel on the day we honor the Devil!"I know an angel, I'll ask 'im.
F!%& if I know. I celebrate the day with hookers and blow.
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[Engages Rogue Tacticslion high five]
Now tell me where I can find Sarah Connor.
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This may be the alcohol talking, but I've had an epiphany.
One of the plumbers at my current work site always brings his work radio and iPod on the job. Nothing but Nickelback, Creed, Staind, 3 Doors Down, and other "post-grunge" bands from the early 2000s (well, he's also got Seether on there, which I actually like, including some early demos and B-sides, so I guess a stopped clock is right twice a day).
Listening to the dude's music for 6-8 hours a day for the past week has made me realize the precise points at which this music fails to make the grade. It's the frontmen. Scott Stapp, Chad Kroeger, and the like just aren't good at being lyricists and singers-- they're trying to capture the sound of early '90s grunge while basing their lyrics firmly on the musical foundations of hair metal power ballads, two styles of writing that do not mix well. Also, Mr. Stapp, you're not Eddie Vedder, so stop trying. This is the reason you're living in a Motel 6 and/or your car right now.
What sparked this revelation was that after hearing Creed's "One Last Breath" for what seemed like the hundredth time, I realized that guitarist Mark Tremonti (the guy who writes pretty much everything except for the lyrics) is actually pretty damn good at writing earwormy, catchy riffs and melodies. Replace Scott Stapp with someone actually worth a damn, say, Jeff Keith, and you've got a wicked good arena rock band.
The same goes for Nickelback, though to a slightly lesser extent. If you swap out Chad Kroeger-- hell, keep him on guitar, he's a pretty tight guitar player-- just get a new singer, someone along the lines of James Hetfield (I'm not even a huge fan of his, but he fits more than Kroeger does), and you've got more of a raw hard rock sound. Swap Kroeger with someone like Dave Hause, and you've got a lower-quality Bruce & the E Street Band.
So, to sum up, if you want to be a decent hard rock vocalist, get the marbles out of your mouth, stop trying to be Eddie Vedder / Chris Cornell / Kurt Cobain (sorry, Shaun Morgan, I love you, but you'll never be Kurt) / Buzz Osborne / etc, and take a songwriting class. Trust your band to fill in the blanks. You can believe me-- I'm a shitty frontman too.
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Or just cut out the middleman and don't start a band.
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I would love to get drunk and talk music with you.
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I would love to get drunk and talk music with you.
Or drop acid and watch it get really deep.
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Uh yeah, the last time I dropped acid I spent hours playing in the road, almost broke into a music shop because we were convinced the ghost of Kurt Cobain was in there and broke into the parking garage of a complete but not yet open convention center that looked like an Alien ship, complete with green ooze out of various holes (we went back when it opened, no ooze holes).
And didn't see a single cop the entire night.
So yeah why not.
Edit: nope that was shrooms, also acceptable.
Uh yeah, the last time I dropped acid I spent hours playing in the road, almost broke into a music shop because we were convinced the ghost of Kurt Cobain was in there and broke into the parking garage of a complete but not yet open convention center that looked like an Alien ship, complete with green ooze out of various holes (we went back when it opened, no ooze holes).
And didn't see a single cop the entire night.
So yeah why not.
Edit: nope that was shrooms, also acceptable.
Last time I dropped acid, I sat in my apartment playing guitar for eight hours, then sat for a little while on the front steps of my building looking at the trees next to the sidewalk. Proof positive that I'm boring as hell.
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I would love to get drunk and talk music with you.
You're out near Madison, WI, right? I've got family out there. Next time I'm in the neighborhood, I'll hit you up.
Sounds like fun to me :-)
I would love to get drunk and talk music with you.You're out near Madison, WI, right? I've got family out there. Next time I'm in the neighborhood, I'll hit you up.
that'd be awesome, yup just a couple miles west of the UW Hospital right off University Ave.
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This may be the alcohol talking, but I've had an epiphany.
Addendum: while better than Creed, Alter Bridge (AKA Creed minus Scott Stapp) still wasn't all that great. Pro tip: replace discount Kevin Bacon with actual Kevin Bacon. He's a real musician and everything.
In addition, this one's for Chris Daughtry: if you wanted to be taken seriously as a rock musician, you shouldn't have gone on American Idol. You're hella talented, but your credibility is in the toilet, and it's entirely your fault.
Also, 3 Doors Down, stop trying to be Lynyrd Skynryd. It's never going to happen. I'm sorry.
So what happened to Bo Bice, too much cocaine and heroin to remain functional?
Talk about someone with a Skynard fetish :-)
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So what happened to Bo Bice, too much cocaine and heroin to remain functional?
Talk about someone with a Skynard fetish :-)
We don't talk about Bo Bice.
Cause I'm as freeeeeeeee as a bird now
And this bird you cannot chaaaaaaaange...
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I can tell you the exact moment Limp Bizkit went in the can, when Fred Durst woke up saw the record sales, looked inward and said aloud "I'm a Musician" game over right there.
I have theories on Sublime, Bradley Nowell faking his death and Slightly Stoopid
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I can tell you the exact moment Limp Bizkit went in the can, when Fred Durst woke up saw the record sales, looked inward and said aloud "I'm a Musician" game over right there.
If there's one thing I can give Limp Bizkit credit for, it's that they never took themselves seriously. More than I can say for Papa Roach, at any rate
Plus, Wes Borland is a hell of a lot better without Fred holding him back. Anyone who's a fan of the Sisters of Mercy is at least 12% cool in my book.
Thats good stuff, hadn't heard that before:-)
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I have theories on Sublime, Bradley Nowell faking his death and Slightly Stoopid
That would at least partially explain why Avail decided to cover "Santeria" on the Sublime tribute album. Slightly Stoopid has marginal punk cred, so Tim Barry thought it would be safe. He was wrong.
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Also The Ziggens
I do have a weakness for SoCal punk and Ska:-)
This we got on tape on our honeymoon at a little record shop in downtown San Luis Obispo, one of the coolest little college towns in California (at least it was the one day we were there:-D)
edit: and Irish Punk
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I do have a weakness for SoCal punk and Ska:-)
SoCal punk is pretty damn good, but NoCal punk is where it's really at.
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A bit off-topic--
It's been a rough week (mostly my own damn fault, but whatever). There's no better remedy, though, than driving 85 down the highway after work on a bad Friday blasting Bridge Under Fire on your car stereo.
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I do have a weakness for SoCal punk and Ska:-)SoCal punk is pretty damn good, but NoCal punk is where it's really at.
And I'm not just saying that because one of my best friends is from Oakland.
Oakland punk is pretty bad ass, i have more Rancid then any band not named Pearl Jam, although the Ziggens and Chili Peppers are getting awfully close...
This is the song we walked down the aisle to when we got married
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And not to continue the Fred Durst diatribe,
Edit: if you think you're bad at dating, i was terrible in my early twenties!
Bartender: That girl wants you to buy her a drink
23 year old Captain Yesterday: f%@$ that she can buy her own drinks"
Captain Yesterday's friends: *slap foreheads*
yes that is an actual example that happened.
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I don't know how i got to that alias, but it fits so it stays:-)
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F~%@ if I know. I celebrate the day with hookers and blow.Pea Bear, while we're looking around the Halloween costumes asks incredulously "who would want to be an angel on the day we honor the Devil!"I know an angel, I'll ask 'im.
You're not Aziraphale... I mean I'm not complaining either... count me in.
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Normally I'm not the one to play petty relationship games in roleplaying - hell I don't even like people doing it in real life - but when you leave a priestess of the goddess of Bad Luck and she's pretty sure you're already picking up someone else, a bit of petty vengeance is kind of a given....
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A big to everyone who has been so supportive during my down days. A post or PM of support means a lot more than you may realize. I go back and read them when I'm feeling blue again but don't want to bother folks with it. The sympathy and encouragement really help me get back on track. Thank you.
You guys are the best. <3
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Normally I'm not the one to play petty relationship games in roleplaying - hell I don't even like people doing it in real life - but when you leave a priestess of the goddess of Bad Luck and she's pretty sure you're already picking up someone else, a bit of petty vengeance is kind of a given....
You know what they say: vengeance makes the world go round.
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And not to continue the Fred Durst diatribe,
** spoiler omitted **
Edit: if you think you're bad at dating, i was terrible in my early twenties!
Bartender: That girl wants you to buy her a drink
23 year old Captain Yesterday: f*&+ that she can buy her own drinks"
Captain Yesterday's friends: *slap foreheads*
yes that is an actual example that happened.
Meh. You can always claim she wasn't attractive...