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And there you have it folks, GoatToucher has blessed us with a new team!
*The audience remains silent, unsure what to say or do.*
I should have said that there won't be any filters to the camera footage.
*While the players are being interviewed, in all their -unashamed- glory, everyone notices that the shower water does not go onto GoatToucher. In fact, disturbingly, it seems to purposefully avoid him.*
Let's give an applause of welcome to, The Unwelcomed Fists!
*Has the audience give the reluctant applause of welcome.*
Alright, that wasn't so hard now, was it?
*Everyone in the stands just mumbles, fearing what will happen to them.*
Now, because The Unwelcomed Fists are owned by GoatToucher, I can't and won't accept any responsibility or liability for what the team does either on or off the pitch. If you have any questions, see GoatToucher.
*Coughs while organising the sheets of paper, to help change the subject slightly.*
By the way, doesn't Pulg look great in that yellow waterproof hat and jacket combo?
:Jambi rings a small bell to draw the collective attention:
:GT stands, clad in scarlet and gold, holding a small goblet of something:
My friends! After a discussion with the League, I have undertaken to submit a team to this endeavor. Each player has been the subject of extensive and rigorous... training that puts their skills on par with the finest players in the organization. Indeed, far in excess of them.
:Jambi pulls a rope, drawing a curtain to expose a group of individuals of all shapes and sizes, few of which are recognizable as members of any race or species you are familiar with, though some might have been once: before the adjustments.:
Lords, Ladies, Others, and lesser-folk: I present to you The Unwelcomed Fists.
Also, coincidentally, the name of your Space Marine chapter.
Also, coincidentally, the name of your Space Marine chapter.
Lords, Ladies, Others, and lesser-folk: I present to you The Unwelcomed Fists.
Actually no. My Chapter is called the Silken Embrace.
I delight in how aggravated the hypermasculine chapters get when their forces are smashed to ruin by such a delicate-sounding chapter.
What is this about Space Marines? Is GoatToucher Loyalist or Chaos?
How shall I put this...
The Corpse Emperor on his golden throne? He could get it.
Snarg Scrotenibbler of Naughty Greenskins United, what do you think of the impending rule change that means that you will no longer be able to take free kicks with a leg you've ripped off one of your opponents, as you did so successfully when playing against Bayern Middenheim?
Yep, you win. The thread is so boring that I don’t care to post on it any longer.
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She is one of my special pets.
When happy she injects healing venom; when angry it is poison.
Sorry Count.
The last time I used a microphone my cackles broke everyone's eardrums.
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Feathered Jaguars vs. Iron Anvils
Crimson Spikes vs. Durum's Destroyers
Howling-Hills Hellions vs. Dark Ark Serpents
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And there we have it folks, the next three matches:
1. BEARDS AND BRAS
Amazons versus Dwarfs (Feathered Jaguars versus Iron Anvils).
2. MARKS AND HAMMERS
Chaos Chosen versus Dwarfs (Crimson Spikes versus Durum's Destroyers).
3. DATE WITH DARKNESS
Chaos Chosen versus Dark Elves (Howling-Hills Hellions versus Dark Ark Serpents).
Yep, you win. The thread is so boring that I don’t care to post on it any longer.
Please, finish your beans first!
There was beans? Why didn’t you say so?
I was being silenced by sinister Anti-Bean forces, the same as are spreading flagrant untruths about people (in the broadest sense of the word) not liking beans
I never 'do' without asking at all. Consent is paramount, always!
Carnivorous beans, you don’t taste them, they taste you.
Mmm! Tell me more!
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Hello, once again, ladies and gentlemen. To another exciting match of Blood Bowl!
Today we have the Feathered Jaguars against the Iron Anvils!
*Each team enters the pitch, waves to the crowd.*
Amazons versus Dwarfs, what a thrilling match this will be!
*The players take there positions.*
I'm excited to see how the game progresses.
Also, a big thanks to today's sponsor: Carnivorous Beans! They'll cost you a limb or two!
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Mummy, if you don't let me marry the Dirty Dangler, I shall run away and join the Feathered Jaguars, see if I don't.
There are also wearable beans, as demonstrated by Ann-Margret in The Who’s rock-opera, Tommy.
What a wonderful, wonderful world we're living in!!!
I never 'do' without asking at all. Consent is paramount, always!
:drinks with one hand, waggles the other in a gesture that says "Eh...":
That's why YOU are not Lord President.
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And the Feathered Jaguars have just scored their eighth touchdown!
*The crowd goes wild with booing, cheering and hooting.*
Looks like the Iron Anvils have some serious catching up to do!
*Has a quick look at the recorded number of points that each team has scored.*
So far, the Amazons are beating the Dwarfs, 48 - 36!
Lima beans.
Pinto beans.
Kidney beans.
Marienburg Mullets
Praag Pompadours
Ulthuan Undercuts
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Fabulous, Waterhammer, nothing like a fibre rich diet to clean your system!
And Pulg, nice choice of teams. But please tell me what kind of teams they are.
If you're unsure what I mean, look on the previous page to where I list the Blood Bowl teams.
Now, with that out of the way, let's get back to the game!
Beans is my teams!
Fabulous, Waterhammer, nothing like a fibre rich diet to clean your system!
And Pulg, nice choice of teams. But please tell me what kind of teams they are.
1) Ross-shire women's tench palpating
2) Nude Quidditch3) Non-league Murglethigh.
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Oh, nonunion teams, I see. Well, it'll be entertaining at least.
*The Feathered Jaguars score the final points of the match.*
And that's the game, the Amazons have beaten the Dwarfs, 75 - 68!
*Due to the loss, the Iron Anvils get really grumpy before hitting the ale barrels.*
With that out of the way, let's move on to the guest matches!
*Everyone gets excited and begins to cheer.*
Please welcome to the pitch, the Marienburg Mullets and their opponents...
... The Unwelcomed Fists!
*Silence is all that's heard.*
But first, a song.
Palpating Palpatine,
That's what you do to turn the neighbours green,
It's not at all proper,
It isn't quite nice,
Says the New York Soc. For The Suppression Of Vice!
You could lick the haemorrhoids on a protocol droid,
Or wee-wee on Jabba the Hutt,
But when you're Palpating Palpatine,
You'll howl like a panther in rut!
I fear that won't do much, as Buff's Downstairs is very much like that of Ken's. I have no real idea what Ken's natural predators are, although the upcoming Countess Bathory Barbie playset may provide a clue.
I suggest a rules change, as follows: Last one to post before 1300 GMT on February 22, 2022 wins.
Let’s put it to a vote. All in favor?
Aye!
Any opposed?
Seeing none opposed the motion passes.