Okay, we'll call you Bubu instead.
Wrong type of claw, Pulg, and don't call me Shirley.
I thought that was your drag-bear alias.
Okay, even I think that gag needs some work.
You kind of choked on the delivery there. *Falls over*
Why me?
We all ask ourselves the same thing when Jokey shows up.
Don't worry so much.
Here, have a cupcake, it's topped with sugar and some spices.
I'm making my special apple pie.
The one with the crunchy Quaalude topping? M'mm m'mm!
Have you ever tried apple cupcakes or apple cookies? I have several great recipes for both. But, you know, you must be careful about food allergies when you're baking. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a cake in the oven that's just about done. Just let me know if you're interested.
* walks off and "accidentally" drops a book listing all of Snow White's Mother's enemies and their food allergies *
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Cake? Yum!
*Drools slightly, quickly wipes it away out of embarrassment.*
Excuse me *coughs to cover being embarrassed*, anyway I have found a local butcher's shop to obtain a bunch of bones to use as makeshift chew toys.
*Suddenly spots a large, rodent-like creature pick up the book GW dropped and run off with it, laughing in an evil manner.*
What was that about?
Nothing nefarious, I assure you.
*Opens the book dropped by Grandpa Wonderbra.
Turns to the C's.
Lets see here.
"Cluny the Scourge - Mint flavored..."
NOOOO! How did find out?
Tears the page out and lights it on fire.
* walks in pushing a cart with a huge two-layer cake over 6 feet across on it *
Would anyone like to try my "Heaven and Hell" cake? The top layer is angel food and the bottom is Devil's Food and the whole thing is covered in whipped cream. I also have several flavors of ice cream to go with it.
Any swamp gas flavored ice cream.
That be good!
Alas I am fresh out. A certain unfunny comedian ate the last carton shortly before choking on a rubber doughnut. I do have methane mint-chip and bog mud flavors, though - I hear if you mix them together they taste just like swamp gas.
Ugh, I really need to stop taking suggestions for ice cream flavors from wizard schools in England.
Ugh, mint-chip is the nastiest thing in the world.
That's why you mix it with the bog mud ice cream, as GW suggested.
Me, I'm going for some chocolate-chip cookie dough ice cream topped with hot fudge to go with my piece of cake.
Oh, I'll give you some "hot fudge"...
:gives Uncle Teddy some hot fudge:
* runs in with supernatural speed and pulls Uncle Teddy to safety while pushing GoatToucher into the path of his own "hot fudge" *
Was pushing GoatToucher into the path of his own "hot fudge" a good idea? Oh well, too late now.
He thrives on it. It's like giving Popeye spinach.
Incidentally, GoatToucher was also the person who gave Popeye spinach in the first place. It's why his muscles look so unnatural.
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*Horrendous eating sounds come from the cart with the cake on it and a great, big (but still relatively thin) slice going all the way down both layers of the cake is present.*
Yum, yum, yum! This cake is the best! The mix of angel's food and devil's food is simply sublime! But it doesn't really help me with the matter of my heart.
*Looks up, cake smeared all over face.*
Sorry, it's just I don't know how to approach Red Riding Hood (who has grown up into quite the butt kicking, monster slaying, crime ending, total hottie of a hero) and ask her on a date. Anybody got any tips? GW, surely you can help me out with this?
Incidentally, GoatToucher was also the person who gave Popeye spinach in the first place. It's why his muscles look so unnatural.
No. He is just the first synthol freak.
IT!
IS...!
Oh, you noticed the thyme I added to the soup! I'm glad!
.
No.
You know the thing about this is if you do win no one will know.
I will know.
Because I know some about things...
Sometimes.
but not always right?
That is correct.
can't argue with you there.
It was actually just hot fudge...
It's never just hot fudge.
wut?
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Master Big Bad Wolf, I have it on good authority that Lady Hood has a fondness for GW's baked goods, lilacs, and big furry animals. So long as you don't eat all of the baked goods you've already got two of the three covered.
It's never just hot fudge.
Better than lukewarm toffee.
Master Big Bad Wolf, I have it on good authority that Lady Hood has a fondness for GW's baked goods, lilacs, and big furry animals. So long as you don't eat all of the baked goods you've already got two of the three covered.
Feel free to eat Gramps Wonderbra though.
Nah, eat marshmellows instead.
would.. would.. you roast them for us?
Waterhammer, no treats for you.
* puts out sign by treats that reads "Not for Waterhammer" *
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{slowly creeps up on Grandpa, then veers away at last moment}
:takes a seed from his pocket. It glistens with moisture and throbs in his hand.:
:plants the seed in GW's garden. Among the squash.:
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Most wonderful work, Mister Wolf. Though I suggest you mix in a pint of blood freely given from a troll in with the soil. This will help the lilac bush grow up much quicker and healthier. Oh, and these peanut butter-chocolate chip cookies are perfect. You are on your way to being a master baker.
* looks at the squash and notices the new planting *
What is this? Oh, no, no, no! That will never grow up planted among the squash. Squash are toxic to this plant.
* grabs a garden trowel, digs up GT's seed and replants it among some strange-looking plants - the sign by the plants reads "Protean Cucumbers" *
There, that should help it grow. GoatToucher should really learn proper gardening techniques.