My sons !
I've been searching all over the place for you ! Don't you love your momma anymore ?
Was I always too kind too you, my little ticks ? I'M GUILTY OF LOVE, BUT I CAN REPENT NOW !
Haaa ! [*flees*]
buncha campers.
You're stuttering, boy. Afraid of someone ?
Did Freud like yo mama jokes?
You mother did not spank you enough, despite your name !
.
Such an uncivilized place.
Seems Spanky is at a loss for words.
I think we can all live with that.
Jeez, this used to be a happy go lucky place
That was way back when in the dark ages of 2011.
And we've all gone doom-and-gloom Goth since then.
It has always been about the win. Always !
Some can't take the pressure of the thread !
[cue "Rythm of the Heat" music by Peter Gabriel]
Looking out the window
I see the red dust clear
High up on the red rock
Stands the Snow Cat with the spear
The land here is strong
Strong beneath my feet
it feeds on the blood
it feeds on the heat
The pressure is below me
The pressure of the thread
The pressure is around me
The pressure has control
The pressure is inside me
The pressure has my soul
The pressure of the thread
The pressure of the thread
The pressure of the thread
The pressure of the thread
Drawn across the plainland
To the place that is higher
Drawn into the circle
Vicious Chicken dances round the fire
We spit into our hands
And breathe across the palms
Raising them up high
Held open to the sun
Self-conscious, uncertain
I'm showered with the dust
Spanky's spirit enters into me [no !]
And I . . . submit . . . to trust
Smash the radio
No outside voices here
Smash the watch
Cannot tear the day to shreds
Smash the camera
Cannot steal away the spirits
The pressure is below me
The pressure of the thread
The pressure is around me
The pressure has control
The pressure is inside me
The pressure has my soul
I'll win one day, standing proudly on my stubby legs, the Scepter of the Thread in my right hand, and the Hammer of Ban in my left hand !
Today is not that day.
And we're all very thankful.
Yes, we are.
Even on Mondays.
Especially on Mondays.
What about Tuesdays?
Those are right out.
We keep it real here.
But you don't win.
Yes, I do. I've got more winning-ness than Matt Damon.
MATT DAMON!!!
Oh dear, chicken, now you made him angry...
Oh, but I've got good news for him: I got him a lead role in a movie. Jingle All the Way 2: The Desolation of the Shopping Malls.
Matt Damon?
Yeah, yeah, it's real. You'll be playing Barbo Beggins, a meek mall cop who gets into the holiday spirit when Black Friday shoppers threaten the safety of the pretzel lady in the food court.
Matt Damon!!!
I thought you'd like it. You'll be working with Tom Arnold, Andy Dick and Rob Schneider as the pretzel lady.
That one way of shooting down a career. Vicious Chicken, you are vicious, but not enough for the win.
Psttt, Matt, don't take the role. Something better will come along.
I'm Sure Bourne part 5 is in the works
I think Steven Segal has a new film in the works and he would love to work with you.
No, he got cast in the remake of Walker: Texas Ranger.
Probably.
Was he ever really alive, or just some sort of golem? I've always had my doubts about the guy.
He was a golem created to capitalize on the 90's action hero craze. He was built using the DNA of Michael Dudikoff and Charles Bronson.
I can get him a spot on walking dead, his dialogue style is perfect
Matt Damon!
He was a golem created to capitalize on the 90's action hero craze. He was built using the DNA of Michael Dudikoff and Charles Bronson.
I thought so!
It wasn't that big a secret.
Well, obviously not.
Even Bob the Janitor knew.
I have returning!
*has flaming burst*
Hahah! Fawful has much preparedness! Dragon will not roast him with such easiness!
*activates blizzard shield* You will have much coldness! Your fire will have the uselessness from freezing, like the pipes that have been left in the gentle caressings of winter!