A not even remotely famous person repudiates pasta


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Aubrey the Malformed wrote:
Speaking as a non-American, I find it weird and creepy how you guys over there spend your whole time getting worked up about stuff like this. I mean, in the UK, pasta is simply a choice. We don't make a big deal of it, and most of the population doesn't even think about it. Frankly, you are considered strange if you go on about it.

Well, sure. For you Brits, it's just another food to throw in a pot and boil until the taste goes away.

The Exchange

Shadowborn wrote:
Aubrey the Malformed wrote:
Speaking as a non-American, I find it weird and creepy how you guys over there spend your whole time getting worked up about stuff like this. I mean, in the UK, pasta is simply a choice. We don't make a big deal of it, and most of the population doesn't even think about it. Frankly, you are considered strange if you go on about it.
Well, sure. For you Brits, it's just another food to throw in a pot and boil until the taste goes away.

Is that how they came up with fish n chips?

The Exchange

Pasta is nothing more than mans foolish attempt to out do the potato. Something that just can't be done, you Pastafarians claim it to be so great, but then you admit to having to cover it in sauces to give it a flavor. I offer this, It's better to munch on tacos in hell than have to suck noodles in Italy.

Scarab Sages

Shouldn't that be "noodles in China"? After all, the Chinese were the ones that gave us that wretched food to begin with. Damn them!

The Exchange

Aberzombie wrote:
Shouldn't that be "noodles in China"? After all, the Chinese were the ones that gave us that wretched food to begin with. Damn them!

Either or. This fella sucks down no mans noodle, I don't care where he's from!

Scarab Sages

Amen brother!

Dark Archive

Moorluck wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
Shouldn't that be "noodles in China"? After all, the Chinese were the ones that gave us that wretched food to begin with. Damn them!
Either or. This fella sucks down no mans noodle, I don't care where he's from!

[George Takei voice] Hellooooooo [/George Takei voive]


Shadowborn wrote:
Aubrey the Malformed wrote:
Speaking as a non-American, I find it weird and creepy how you guys over there spend your whole time getting worked up about stuff like this. I mean, in the UK, pasta is simply a choice. We don't make a big deal of it, and most of the population doesn't even think about it. Frankly, you are considered strange if you go on about it.
Well, sure. For you Brits, it's just another food to throw in a pot and boil until the taste goes away.

[jest]

So very very very true. I've seen the face of traditional British cuisine, and its name is spitnweep.

And thing is, we're all having a fake row over pasta here. Flailing about dramatically over nothing for the pleasure of consequence-free debate for a change. But speaking of what's truly creepy, Brits are just craaaaaaazy for that tea, man. Just craaaaaaaaaazy for that tea. While true that some Americans used it as a thin excuse to start a war, we just wanted to fight the Brits after living under the yoke of their pitifully impaired palates. We didn't actually like tea. It tastes like incense bong water. Such pretty art on the boxes though. Why? To distract people's attention from the flavor and suppress the gag reflex.

[/jest]

The Exchange

The Jade wrote:
Shadowborn wrote:
Aubrey the Malformed wrote:
Speaking as a non-American, I find it weird and creepy how you guys over there spend your whole time getting worked up about stuff like this. I mean, in the UK, pasta is simply a choice. We don't make a big deal of it, and most of the population doesn't even think about it. Frankly, you are considered strange if you go on about it.
Well, sure. For you Brits, it's just another food to throw in a pot and boil until the taste goes away.

[jest]

So very very very true. I've seen the face of traditional British cuisine, and its name is spitnweep.

And thing is, we're all having a fake row over pasta here. Flailing about dramatically over nothing for the pleasure of consequence-free debate for a change. But speaking of what's truly creepy, Brits are just craaaaaaazy for that tea, man. Just craaaaaaaaaazy for that tea. While true that some Americans used it as a thin excuse to start a war, we just wanted to fight the Brits after living under the yoke of their pitifully impaired palates. We didn't actually like tea. It tastes like incense bong water. Such pretty art on the boxes though. Why? To distract people's attention from the flavor and suppress the gag reflex.

[/jest]

Speak for yourself, some of us southerners have sweetened tea into a diabetic death candy.


Crimson Jester wrote:
The Jade wrote:
Shadowborn wrote:
Aubrey the Malformed wrote:
Speaking as a non-American, I find it weird and creepy how you guys over there spend your whole time getting worked up about stuff like this. I mean, in the UK, pasta is simply a choice. We don't make a big deal of it, and most of the population doesn't even think about it. Frankly, you are considered strange if you go on about it.
Well, sure. For you Brits, it's just another food to throw in a pot and boil until the taste goes away.

[jest]

So very very very true. I've seen the face of traditional British cuisine, and its name is spitnweep.

And thing is, we're all having a fake row over pasta here. Flailing about dramatically over nothing for the pleasure of consequence-free debate for a change. But speaking of what's truly creepy, Brits are just craaaaaaazy for that tea, man. Just craaaaaaaaaazy for that tea. While true that some Americans used it as a thin excuse to start a war, we just wanted to fight the Brits after living under the yoke of their pitifully impaired palates. We didn't actually like tea. It tastes like incense bong water. Such pretty art on the boxes though. Why? To distract people's attention from the flavor and suppress the gag reflex.

[/jest]

Speak for yourself, some of us southerners have sweetened tea into a diabetic death candy.

Well there must be some sort of honor in transforming something harmless into something lethal.

Paizo Employee Senior Software Developer

Mmmm, pasta for breakfast!


Gary Teter wrote:
Mmmm, pasta for breakfast!

Morning, noon and night. That's right.

When I was in the hospital they fed me capellini d'angelo because it was the only food thin enough to fit through the IV tube. I was visited by an angel that saved my life that day... angel hair pasta anyway.


Crimson Jester wrote:
Shadowborn wrote:
Aubrey the Malformed wrote:
Speaking as a non-American, I find it weird and creepy how you guys over there spend your whole time getting worked up about stuff like this. I mean, in the UK, pasta is simply a choice. We don't make a big deal of it, and most of the population doesn't even think about it. Frankly, you are considered strange if you go on about it.
Well, sure. For you Brits, it's just another food to throw in a pot and boil until the taste goes away.
Is that how they came up with fish n chips?

That was a lucky mistake. Someone accidentally filled the pot with oil instead of water and, tada!, flavor was born.

Dark Archive

Shadowborn wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
Shadowborn wrote:
Aubrey the Malformed wrote:
Speaking as a non-American, I find it weird and creepy how you guys over there spend your whole time getting worked up about stuff like this. I mean, in the UK, pasta is simply a choice. We don't make a big deal of it, and most of the population doesn't even think about it. Frankly, you are considered strange if you go on about it.
Well, sure. For you Brits, it's just another food to throw in a pot and boil until the taste goes away.
Is that how they came up with fish n chips?
That was a lucky mistake. Someone accidentally filled the pot with oil instead of water and, tada!, flavor was born.

Nah I remember they used to boil people in oil as a form of execution. So I think it happened like, down at the local execution. "Is it just me or does that guy they just killed in the oil smell really good. This is just a thought but what if we throw a chicken in there?"

Scarab Sages

Gary Teter wrote:
Mmmm, pasta for breakfast!

I always knew you were evil....


Jeremy Mcgillan wrote:
Shadowborn wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
Shadowborn wrote:
Aubrey the Malformed wrote:
Speaking as a non-American, I find it weird and creepy how you guys over there spend your whole time getting worked up about stuff like this. I mean, in the UK, pasta is simply a choice. We don't make a big deal of it, and most of the population doesn't even think about it. Frankly, you are considered strange if you go on about it.
Well, sure. For you Brits, it's just another food to throw in a pot and boil until the taste goes away.
Is that how they came up with fish n chips?
That was a lucky mistake. Someone accidentally filled the pot with oil instead of water and, tada!, flavor was born.
Nah I remember they used to boil people in oil as a form of execution. So I think it happened like, down at the local execution. "Is it just me or does that guy they just killed in the oil smell really good. This is just a thought but what if we throw a chicken in there?"

To which the reply was: "Chicken? That'd likely ruin it. I got an idea; let's try a fish. They've got a smell that could use a little improvement..."

The Exchange

Chicken, chicken, we don need no steenkin chicken


Real men eat large herd animals. While the meat is still warm.


Crimson Jester wrote:
Chicken, chicken, we don need no steenkin chicken

{squirts cheese-in-a-can all over CJ, wraps him in yards of bacon, and pushes him out on plank over fryolater.}


The Jade wrote:

[jest]

So very very very true. I've seen the face of traditional British cuisine, and its name is spitnweep.

And thing is, we're all having a fake row over pasta here. Flailing about dramatically over nothing for the pleasure of consequence-free debate for a change. But speaking of what's truly creepy, Brits are just craaaaaaazy for that tea, man. Just craaaaaaaaaazy for that tea. While true that some Americans used it as a thin excuse to start a war, we just wanted to fight the Brits after living under the yoke of their pitifully impaired palates. We didn't actually like tea. It tastes like incense bong water. Such pretty art on the boxes though. Why? To distract people's attention from the flavor and suppress the gag reflex.

[/jest]

I've had tea. And biscuits.


Crimson Jester wrote:
The Jade wrote:

...But speaking of what's truly creepy, Brits are just craaaaaaazy for that tea, man. Just craaaaaaaaaazy for that tea. While true that some Americans used it as a thin excuse to start a war, we just wanted to fight the Brits after living under the yoke of their pitifully impaired palates. We didn't actually like tea. It tastes like incense bong water. Such pretty art on the boxes though. Why? To distract people's attention from the flavor and suppress the gag reflex.

[/jest]

Speak for yourself, some of us southerners have sweetened tea into a diabetic death candy.

Careful there CJ, you might ignite another uproar. Those fancy-lad Brits are mighty T'ed-off that we Southerners improved their bleh Old World beverage into a mighty refreshing way-of-life, fit for man or hummingbird. {waits impatiently for fryolater to get up to temperature}


.

Down with pasta. Pastafarians are controlling the government. Just look at the USDA food pyramid. They also faked the moon landing, but that's another story.

The carbohydrates in pasta spike your body's insulin levels, telling your body to store all of these calories as fat!

Pasta (and the carbs, therein) are a delibrate attack on the freedoms of our pancreas. Eating Pasta (carbs) makes our pancreas work too hard, raising our insulin levels, that will eventually lead to diabetes - a debilitating disease. Thus, we can assume, the Pastafarians are trying to overthrow world governments and enslave the peoples to their nefarious recipes and seductive entrées.

(I love this thread.)


Bloodwort wrote:
wha wa wa wa wa-wa wa waaaaaaaah

That's some powerful reasoning. Must come from having a big braaaaaaaaain... would you like a brochure for the coming Zombpocalypse? Braaaaaaaaaains {wipes away drool} are high in protein and low in calories.

The Exchange

Zombie Pizza Delivery Girl wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
The Jade wrote:

...But speaking of what's truly creepy, Brits are just craaaaaaazy for that tea, man. Just craaaaaaaaaazy for that tea. While true that some Americans used it as a thin excuse to start a war, we just wanted to fight the Brits after living under the yoke of their pitifully impaired palates. We didn't actually like tea. It tastes like incense bong water. Such pretty art on the boxes though. Why? To distract people's attention from the flavor and suppress the gag reflex.

[/jest]

Speak for yourself, some of us southerners have sweetened tea into a diabetic death candy.
Careful there CJ, you might ignite another uproar. Those fancy-lad Brits are mighty T'ed-off that we Southerners improved their bleh Old World beverage into a mighty refreshing way-of-life, fit for man or hummingbird. {waits impatiently for fryolater to get up to temperature}

Yeah remember we tossed all their Tea off in the bay. We drink ours. We also drink Lemonade.


Kajehase wrote:
The Jade wrote:

[jest]

So very very very true. I've seen the face of traditional British cuisine, and its name is spitnweep.

And thing is, we're all having a fake row over pasta here. Flailing about dramatically over nothing for the pleasure of consequence-free debate for a change. But speaking of what's truly creepy, Brits are just craaaaaaazy for that tea, man. Just craaaaaaaaaazy for that tea. While true that some Americans used it as a thin excuse to start a war, we just wanted to fight the Brits after living under the yoke of their pitifully impaired palates. We didn't actually like tea. It tastes like incense bong water. Such pretty art on the boxes though. Why? To distract people's attention from the flavor and suppress the gag reflex.

[/jest]

I've had tea. And biscuits.

YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!!


Zombie Pizza Delivery Girl wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
The Jade wrote:

...But speaking of what's truly creepy, Brits are just craaaaaaazy for that tea, man. Just craaaaaaaaaazy for that tea. While true that some Americans used it as a thin excuse to start a war, we just wanted to fight the Brits after living under the yoke of their pitifully impaired palates. We didn't actually like tea. It tastes like incense bong water. Such pretty art on the boxes though. Why? To distract people's attention from the flavor and suppress the gag reflex.

[/jest]

Speak for yourself, some of us southerners have sweetened tea into a diabetic death candy.
Careful there CJ, you might ignite another uproar. Those fancy-lad Brits are mighty T'ed-off that we Southerners improved their bleh Old World beverage into a mighty refreshing way-of-life, fit for man or hummingbird. {waits impatiently for fryolater to get up to temperature}

I hear sweet tea just gave sugar itself diabetes.


Bloodwort wrote:

.

Down with pasta. Pastafarians are controlling the government. Just look at the USDA food pyramid. They also faked the moon landing, but that's another story.

The carbohydrates in pasta spike your body's insulin levels, telling your body to store all of these calories as fat!

Pasta (and the carbs, therein) are a delibrate attack on the freedoms of our pancreas. Eating Pasta (carbs) makes our pancreas work too hard, raising our insulin levels, that will eventually lead to diabetes - a debilitating disease. Thus, we can assume, the Pastafarians are trying to overthrow world governments and enslave the peoples to their nefarious recipes and seductive entrées.

(I love this thread.)

You sir, are the true threat to liberty with this blatant propaganda. Anyone can make up science to suit them, but where are your golden mean studies to prove your point about pasta = diabetes and who really paid for them? Follow the money sez me, and you'll see that everything you believe was bought and paid for by the big anti pasta movement. Their lobbyists are like termites eating the white house inside out.

You will submit to said seductive entrées. YOU WILL!


The Jade wrote:
Kajehase wrote:

I've had tea. And biscuits.

YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!!

And how, pray tell, am I supposed to partake of the ambrosia that is a good cup of Darjeeling with a shade of milk and two lumps of sugar if I keep my mouth shut, my good man?

Or to put it more succinctly: I'm nae takin' any oorders from some wee wolfie gobshite.

The Exchange

Kajehase wrote:
The Jade wrote:
Kajehase wrote:

I've had tea. And biscuits.

YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH!!!

And how, pray tell, am I supposed to partake of the ambrosia that is a good cup of Darjeeling with a shade of milk and two lumps of sugar if I keep my mouth shut, my good man?

Or to put it more succinctly: I'm nae takin' any oorders from some wee wolfie gobshite.

Tea and biscuts? You better be talking about SWEET tea and BUTTERMILK biscuts... with fried chicken. or I have nothing to say to you.

The Exchange

The Jade wrote:
Bloodwort wrote:

.

Down with pasta. Pastafarians are controlling the government. Just look at the USDA food pyramid. They also faked the moon landing, but that's another story.

The carbohydrates in pasta spike your body's insulin levels, telling your body to store all of these calories as fat!

Pasta (and the carbs, therein) are a delibrate attack on the freedoms of our pancreas. Eating Pasta (carbs) makes our pancreas work too hard, raising our insulin levels, that will eventually lead to diabetes - a debilitating disease. Thus, we can assume, the Pastafarians are trying to overthrow world governments and enslave the peoples to their nefarious recipes and seductive entrées.

(I love this thread.)

You sir, are the true threat to liberty with this blatant propaganda. Anyone can make up science to suit them, but where are your golden mean studies to prove your point about pasta = diabetes and who really paid for them? Follow the money sez me, and you'll see that everything you believe was bought and paid for by the big anti pasta movement. Their lobbyists are like termites eating the white house inside out.

You will submit to said seductive entrées. YOU WILL!

The money was provided by the People Against Pastafarian Supremacy EvAngalistic Reform, or PAPSMEAR.... we gotta get a new name guys.... which is in turn funded by the widow of Chef Boyardee herself. After his coma and eventual death from pasta consumption she new she had to save people from the wickedness of the noodle! The poor dear works so hard towards this end, despite her own morbid obesity brought about by a life of sucking down every sauce dripping noodle her husband shoved in her mouth.

Liberty's Edge

If there is pasta, then why does it allow English people to exist?


Heathansson wrote:
If there is pasta, then why does it allow English people to exist?

Because pasta is in league with the Squid Men from 20,000 Fathoms. The English people are part of their nefarious plot to enslave all mankind.


Heathansson wrote:
If there is pasta, then why does it allow English people to exist?

'Cause their continued existence is already the cruelest form of punishment there is?

Liberty's Edge

So, pasta is malevolent then?

Scarab Sages

Heathansson wrote:
So, pasta is malevolent then?

Evil of a kind such as you've never known before. Worse than this!


Heathansson wrote:
So, pasta is malevolent then?
Oh yes:
Wikipedia wrote:
"The term 'al dente' comes from Italian and means 'to the tooth' or 'to the bite'..."

Pasta MEANS evil teeth!

Liberty's Edge

Aberzombie wrote:
Heathansson wrote:
So, pasta is malevolent then?
Evil of a kind such as you've never known before. Worse than this!

*pshaw*

I find your lack of pasta...disturbing.


Aberzombie wrote:
Heathansson wrote:
So, pasta is malevolent then?
Evil of a kind such as you've never known before. Worse than this!

Barney eats pasta. And small children. Pasta means death for children.

~This message was paid for by the People Against Pastafarian Supremacy EvAngelistic Reform.)

Liberty's Edge

Don Keebalz wrote:
Aberzombie wrote:
Heathansson wrote:
So, pasta is malevolent then?
Evil of a kind such as you've never known before. Worse than this!

Barney eats pasta. And small children. Pasta means death for children.

~This message was paid for by the People Against Pastafarian Supremacy EvAngelistic Reform.)

Says the guy who liked Chef Boyardee on facebook.

Just cos it's not food doesn't mean it's not pasta.

Liberty's Edge

So, we've established that pasta is NOT omnibolerrophant.

Liberty's Edge

So the final sphincter of this epicureal riddle is this:
assuming there IS no pasta, no desert, and no after dinner Brandee,
why not just end it all?


Because there can still be pesto, ice-cream, or a shot or two of Bushmill.

Oh, and pasta is good for you, so says Gunde Svan.


To Zombie Pizza Delivery Girl - Thank you. My brain is quite large but I'm kind of attached to it. No need for a brochure. I already have my zombie plan.

To The Jade, Me - a threat to liberty? Quite the contrary. I am a freedom fighter. Trying my best to free the people from the cruel and unusual punishment being inflicted upon the masses by your coma-inducing, diabetes-producing, waistline-enlarging, temptress that is pasta. Follow the money? Absolutely. The Pastafarians are consistently the largest donators to the multitude of political hand puppets that support your evil tyranny of the kitchen.
The brave souls that have pledged their support to PAPSMEAR are reaching out right now to the grass roots organizations around the world rising up against the dominion of starches, the deadly triumvirate of pasta, potatoes, and rice. The PPR has long held the world hostage in its iron kettle carbohydrate hell but no more! You can tempt our taste buds but you cannot take our F-R-E-E-D-O-M!

To Conspiracy Buff - Are you sure it was the Squid Men? I was almost positive it was the Crab People.

Dark Archive

Moorluck wrote:
Screw ya pasta lovin asses. I'll stick to meat and potatoes, the way The Irish God intended. Now don't make me have to get Boondock Saints on yer sorry asses.

What has been written, so it shall be done.


Zombie Pizza Delivery Girl wrote:
Bloodwort wrote:
wha wa wa wa wa-wa wa waaaaaaaah
That's some powerful reasoning. Must come from having a big braaaaaaaaain... would you like a brochure for the coming Zombpocalypse? Braaaaaaaaaains {wipes away drool} are high in protein and low in calories.

Careful, ZPDG. You take all his brain and it's less for the Dark Lord's army.

He will RISE.

Silver Crusade

I hope you know that all of you pasta-haters will be judged in the end...

Scarab Sages

Heathansson wrote:


*pshaw*

I find your lack of pasta...disturbing.

Whoa! That's just...not right. I'm not sure I want to know how or why you were aware of that.

Scarab Sages

Celestial Healer wrote:
I hope you know that all of you pasta-haters will be judged in the end...

....and found worthy! It's all you damn pastafarians who'll be consigned to the deepest depths of some nameless hell dimension.

The Exchange

The Jade wrote:
Shadowborn wrote:
Aubrey the Malformed wrote:
Speaking as a non-American, I find it weird and creepy how you guys over there spend your whole time getting worked up about stuff like this. I mean, in the UK, pasta is simply a choice. We don't make a big deal of it, and most of the population doesn't even think about it. Frankly, you are considered strange if you go on about it.
Well, sure. For you Brits, it's just another food to throw in a pot and boil until the taste goes away.

[jest]

So very very very true. I've seen the face of traditional British cuisine, and its name is spitnweep.

And thing is, we're all having a fake row over pasta here. Flailing about dramatically over nothing for the pleasure of consequence-free debate for a change. But speaking of what's truly creepy, Brits are just craaaaaaazy for that tea, man. Just craaaaaaaaaazy for that tea. While true that some Americans used it as a thin excuse to start a war, we just wanted to fight the Brits after living under the yoke of their pitifully impaired palates. We didn't actually like tea. It tastes like incense bong water. Such pretty art on the boxes though. Why? To distract people's attention from the flavor and suppress the gag reflex.

[/jest]

That makes me so ANGRY.

Tea is like like religion over here.

Oh, wait, yeah, I get it now...


Black Lantern Mac Boyce wrote:
Zombie Pizza Delivery Girl wrote:
Bloodwort wrote:
wha wa wa wa wa-wa wa waaaaaaaah
That's some powerful reasoning. Must come from having a big braaaaaaaaain... would you like a brochure for the coming Zombpocalypse? Braaaaaaaaaains {wipes away drool} are high in protein and low in calories.

Careful, ZPDG. You take all his brain and it's less for the Dark Lord's army.

He will RISE.

IA! IA!

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