A Very Twisted Tale, the Fawtly PbP


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Aevelyn BlackHair wrote:

Aevelyn looks over the bone garden, and thinks, Gods, what a dump! while approaching cautiously.

Perception 1d20+7

Is she looking for anything in particular, tracks, specific bones, etc? Or is this a general scan of the garden area?


Maulfeuer Brandstifter wrote:

"If someone is going to start dinner, I'm gonna join in!"

Mal tears a ribbon of cloth form somewhere, as well as grabs a flask of oil and a tindertwig. Just to get ready if a party needs started

Despite the sturdy stone construction of the home, the roof apears to be made from flamable thatch if that is what you want to do.


Conditions: None AL NE Female Human Sorcerer 1 (Infernal Bloodline) HP 6/6 | AC 12 T 12 FF 10 | CMD 13 | F -1 R +2 W +2 | Init +2 | Per +1 |
Resources:
Corrupting Touch 6/6; 1st-Level Sorcerer Spells 4/4
Fawtly DM wrote:
Is she looking for anything in particular, tracks, specific bones, etc? Or is this a general scan of the garden area?

Just a general scan, also seeing if anybody else is home, he he


Aevelyn BlackHair wrote:
Fawtly DM wrote:
Is she looking for anything in particular, tracks, specific bones, etc? Or is this a general scan of the garden area?
Just a general scan, also seeing if anybody else is home, he he

A general scan of the area does elude to the majority of the bones being of humaniod, probably elvish, origin. One of the morbid trophies is tied in a crude cross topped with a skull, it leans to one side precariously.

Out of the corner of her eye she notes a brief flickering movement of one of the curtains.


Conditions: None AL NE Female Human Sorcerer 1 (Infernal Bloodline) HP 6/6 | AC 12 T 12 FF 10 | CMD 13 | F -1 R +2 W +2 | Init +2 | Per +1 |
Resources:
Corrupting Touch 6/6; 1st-Level Sorcerer Spells 4/4

Aevelyn looks across to her companions and waves over to the cottage, while shielding her eyes from the glare. She says loudly, ”Wow, it sure is hot today! It would be nice if we could find some shade!”

Bluff check to pass hidden message there is someone home:
1d20 + 7 ⇒ (18) + 7 = 25


Male Tiefling (Qlippoth-spawn) Fighter 3
Aevelyn BlackHair wrote:

Aevelyn looks across to her companions and waves over to the cottage, while shielding her eyes from the glare. She says loudly, ”Wow, it sure is hot today! It would be nice if we could find some shade!”

Bluff check to pass hidden message there is someone home:
1d20+7

do I have to roll to see if I pick up the message?

"you weak willed woman go sit under a tree"
bluff check to pass hidden message preparing malatov
1d20 + 3 ⇒ (12) + 3 = 15


Maulfeuer Brandstifter wrote:
Aevelyn BlackHair wrote:

Aevelyn looks across to her companions and waves over to the cottage, while shielding her eyes from the glare. She says loudly, ”Wow, it sure is hot today! It would be nice if we could find some shade!”

Bluff check to pass hidden message there is someone home:
1d20+7

do I have to roll to see if I pick up the message?

"you weak willed woman go sit under a tree"
bluff check to pass hidden message preparing malatov
1d20+3

Yes, you need to make a Sense Motive check to understand what she's doing, I'll allow a +2 bonus because you know each other well

So what is everyone else doing?


Male Half-elf Bard 3

Sense motive 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (19) + 1 = 20

Pipp has a rare moment of coherence and grasps Aevelyn's message. He sneaks around the house to get a closer look.

Stealth 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (15) + 7 = 22


Male Tiefling (Qlippoth-spawn) Fighter 3
Aevelyn BlackHair wrote:

Aevelyn looks across to her companions and waves over to the cottage, while shielding her eyes from the glare. She says loudly, ”Wow, it sure is hot today! It would be nice if we could find some shade!”

Bluff check to pass hidden message there is someone home:
1d20+7

sense motive check

1d20 + 4 ⇒ (9) + 4 = 13


Pipp wrote:

Sense motive 1d20+1

Pipp has a rare moment of coherence and grasps Aevelyn's message. He sneaks around the house to get a closer look.

Stealth 1d20+7

The happy go lucky bard creeps unseen around the house towards the window, not a sound is heard as he steathily positions himself to get a better look.

Perception check Pip


Male Half-elf Bard 3

Perception 1d20 + 6 ⇒ (19) + 6 = 25


Pipp wrote:
Perception 1d20+6

Pip

Spoiler:
As you slink towards the window you see a short filthy halfling with a nasty scar down his left cheek peering out the dirty glass, he seems to be watching your allies, and he seems very afraid.

Male Half-elf Bard 3

Pipp wanders back to his allies.

"Well, these inhabitants seem like nothing to fear. The poor little guy is trembling in there."


Conditions: None AL NE Female Human Sorcerer 1 (Infernal Bloodline) HP 6/6 | AC 12 T 12 FF 10 | CMD 13 | F -1 R +2 W +2 | Init +2 | Per +1 |
Resources:
Corrupting Touch 6/6; 1st-Level Sorcerer Spells 4/4

Aevelyn glances at the handsome bard, and responds to him, "If I recall correctly, we were looking for the Three little Pigs. So where are his brothers, then?"


BUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMP!!!!!


Male Half-elf Bard 3

"Righty ho."

Pipp knocks on the door.

"Hello in there!"


Male Tiefling (Qlippoth-spawn) Fighter 3

still getting the molitav cocktail ready


male Human Cleric 2/Rogue 1

Speaking lowly to those nearest him, especially Maulfeuer, "Before we go setting the house on fire and destroying clues and treasure, let's see if we flush the little fellow out into the open, since he's already spooked. If he doesn't run, then maybe he's not alone after all."

Hieron begins casting Summon M I, for a Celestial Dog placed in the room behind the window indicated by Pipp.

"O thrice great Lord, send us a slavering hound with a fierce bark!"


Yay! we're back!! :D

As the cleric begins his casting the door swings open, and a filthy terrified halfling/pig hybrid stares at Pip with bloodshot eyes, his whole body trembles in abject terror as he shrieks, "Git n'here afore sheen cohm backs!!, with that he dives back in the house and, leaving the door open dives under a table in the filthy home.

I'd like you to finish your casting, but everyone needs to make perception checks as well.


male Human Cleric 2/Rogue 1

Thinking quickly and trusting to the luck of his god, Hieron finishes his summoning, but instead places the dog on the porch where it can sound a warning if anyone approaches the house. When he finishes casting, he moves quickly towards the door while trying to take in any details that would help him assess this surprising turn of events.

Perception Check 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (12) + 2 = 14


Hieron Dreimalgroßen wrote:

Thinking quickly and trusting to the luck of his god, Hieron finishes his summoning, but instead places the dog on the porch where it can sound a warning if anyone approaches the house. When he finishes casting, he moves quickly towards the door while trying to take in any details that would help him assess this surprising turn of events.

Perception Check 1d20+2

Spoiler:
As you move into the house you notice signs of a recent struggle, including the nude corpse of two of the three pigs.

male Human Cleric 2/Rogue 1

Seeing the corpses, when Hieron reaches the halfling, he says,"Which of the piggies are you? What happened to your brothers? Why are you still alive?"


Male Orcling Barbarian 2 / Rogue 1

Piggiez? PIGGIEZ? Where dey be aucht? Jyg'g getz whet tougher an tough!

*snickt* *snickt*


Conditions: None AL NE Female Human Sorcerer 1 (Infernal Bloodline) HP 6/6 | AC 12 T 12 FF 10 | CMD 13 | F -1 R +2 W +2 | Init +2 | Per +1 |
Resources:
Corrupting Touch 6/6; 1st-Level Sorcerer Spells 4/4

The PbP made its System Shock roll...YAY!

Perception 1d20 + 7 ⇒ (3) + 7 = 10

Aevelyn follows slowly behind the insane orcling, keeping a close eye on the strange piglet. "Yes, do be truthful as well, we would not want anythingbad to happen to you."


Male Half-elf Bard 3

"I told you they were friendly. They just need our help!"


male Human Cleric 2/Rogue 1

"Yeah...real friendly, Pipp: Just ask B.B. C'mon, piggie, stop stalling and start talking, or we'll hand you over to the socio-path and the pyromaniac and then we can take you home the easy way -- as bacon."


Male Half-Elf Paladin 3

We're back? Shazzam!

Jyg'g Mikrotherion wrote:

Piggiez? PIGGIEZ? Where dey be aucht? Jyg'g getz whet tougher an tough!

*snickt* *snickt*

Jyg'g we're only looking at one piggy. We're supposed to find three so hang on until we get some answers.

Perception --> 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (7) + 5 = 12

Anyone else wondering who "sheen" might be?


"Az Bacon!? Bacon'z deed ya frakkin jerkwad, I'uz Hamhock! Ans yoo guyz is in deep doo-doo! The frightened pig tells you from under the flimsy table he has taken refuge under.

"And hooze iz Sheen? HOOZE IZ SHEEN!? Snowz-freakinz-White iz hooz SHEEN iz!, sheen comed inz here and sez to uz to bugger out. Sez thit Thiz land herz now, herz and her 7000 dwarvezez. Sheen gived me a day ta get cleared out, but how kin I leevez me poor brudderz here? And now youz iz in deep doo-doo, cause time iz up!"

From out side you hear the wind begin to pick up, carrying with it an arctic wind.... and in the distance you detect the faint sound of dwarven drums beating... getting louder as the source moves closer with each passing second.


Male Half-Elf Paladin 3

So, um, who's the "bad guy"? And -- pig -- where are your brothers?


Baz Hargal wrote:
So, um, who's the "bad guy"? And -- pig -- where are your brothers?

With a shaky hand he points behind you, to either side of the door where two mangled and very dead pig/halfling hybrids lie.


Male Half-elf Bard 3

Knowledge [local] 1d20 + 9 ⇒ (20) + 9 = 29. Have I heard of this lady and her dwarves? Are they well-known in these parts?


Male Orcling Barbarian 2 / Rogue 1

Jyg'g sez too much talkin' an not enuff bacon in belly! GRRROOWWLL

*snickt* *snickt*


Conditions: None AL NE Female Human Sorcerer 1 (Infernal Bloodline) HP 6/6 | AC 12 T 12 FF 10 | CMD 13 | F -1 R +2 W +2 | Init +2 | Per +1 |
Resources:
Corrupting Touch 6/6; 1st-Level Sorcerer Spells 4/4

Aevelyn shudders as she feels the arctic chill enter the tiny hut. "Look, you feral beastling, I don't think we have time for a good old fashioned barbeque. In case you hadn't noticed, this party is about to be crashed."

She heads over to the cringing piglet, and continues, "Let's grab this one and go. I am sure the Lord President Moorluck will be satisfied with this one."


Male Half-Elf Paladin 3
Aevelyn BlackHair wrote:
... "Let's grab this one and go. I am sure the Lord President Moorluck will be satisfied with this one."

Hesitant agreement -- We came here to collect the pigs. Let's collect them and go.


Male Orcling Barbarian 2 / Rogue 1

Jyg'g gotz a bag o holden for piggie. In mah belly!

*snickt* *snickt*


Pipp wrote:
Knowledge [local] 1d20+9. Have I heard of this lady and her dwarves? Are they well-known in these parts?

You know the basics of the fairy tail, but you also know that Snow White was a power mad harlot that seduced an army of 7000 dwarves to her side. She destroyed her step-mother and lay waste to her fathers kingdom, plunging it into an eternal winter.


Aevelyn BlackHair wrote:

Aevelyn shudders as she feels the arctic chill enter the tiny hut. "Look, you feral beastling, I don't think we have time for a good old fashioned barbeque. In case you hadn't noticed, this party is about to be crashed."

She heads over to the cringing piglet, and continues, "Let's grab this one and go. I am sure the Lord President Moorluck will be satisfied with this one."

The "pig" eyes you for a moment, then his mind made up he says, "Youz getz me brudders an me outa herez and I'z'll go where da f$#~ evahz you wantz me ta'!"

From outside you here the wind pick up, sending a chilling blast across the home.


Conditions: None AL NE Female Human Sorcerer 1 (Infernal Bloodline) HP 6/6 | AC 12 T 12 FF 10 | CMD 13 | F -1 R +2 W +2 | Init +2 | Per +1 |
Resources:
Corrupting Touch 6/6; 1st-Level Sorcerer Spells 4/4
Fawtly DM wrote:

The "pig" eyes you for a moment, then his mind made up he says, "Youz getz me brudders an me outa herez and I'z'll go where da f&!% evahz you wantz me ta'!"

From outside you here the wind pick up, sending a chilling blast across the home.

"Sure thing, hon...and if you are really good, I will keep that ugly orcling from kebobing you."


Male Half-elf Bard 3

"Well we better get out of here. I've heard of that Snow White, and she's a b$!~%."


male Human Cleric 2/Rogue 1

"My mind says, "Run now!" But something else hears the name, and has...other ideas."


From outside you hear the sound of the drums beat louder and louder as the source comes closer and closer, at this rate it will only be a few more minutes before it has arrived at the house you now occupy.


Conditions: None AL NE Female Human Sorcerer 1 (Infernal Bloodline) HP 6/6 | AC 12 T 12 FF 10 | CMD 13 | F -1 R +2 W +2 | Init +2 | Per +1 |
Resources:
Corrupting Touch 6/6; 1st-Level Sorcerer Spells 4/4

Aevelyn shoots Hieron a disgusted glance, (also tinged with a little jealousy) "I am sure she would love to have you for dinner! Now, if we are done here, then I advise us to amm-scray!"


Male Tiefling (Qlippoth-spawn) Fighter 3

perception 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (4) + 2 = 6

"Did that thing say 7000 dwarves? I can't handle that kind of army. Here give me one of those corpses and lets get moving!!"


Male Half-Elf Paladin 3
Maulfeuer Brandstifter wrote:
"Did that thing say 7000 dwarves? I can't handle that kind of army. Here give me one of those corpses and lets get moving!!"

Agreed. Let's go folks.

Although I have my doubts as to whether or not the pig can count past 7 let alone 7,000...


male Human Cleric 2/Rogue 1

"Very well, then, let us make a run for it. Once we get well away, mayhap I can sneak back and catch sight of this Snow White and her army of dwarven men."

Hieron commands the hound to remain behind and bark when the dwarves come into view, to give them some idea of how far behind us they are. He hoists a pig up on his shoulders and vamooses.

For FDM:
Hieron has two things in mind: 1. To glimpse this Snow White and 2. Does this army of dwarves have anything to do with the disappearance of his old partner, Dornn.


Hieron Dreimalgroßen wrote:

"Very well, then, let us make a run for it. Once we get well away, mayhap I can sneak back and catch sight of this Snow White and her army of dwarven men."

Hieron commands the hound to remain behind and bark when the dwarves come into view, to give them some idea of how far behind us they are. He hoists a pig up on his shoulders and vamooses.

** spoiler omitted **

Spoiler:
You do recall that before his disappearance, Dornn was troubled by rumors of "strange winter weather", it seemed like a silly thing at the time, but now.....

male Human Cleric 2/Rogue 1

As he makes flight with the pig carcass, Hieron calls, "May our feet by as quick as thought, my friends! Away!"


Male Orcling Barbarian 2 / Rogue 1

The orcling swings madly at the pig carcass hanging over Hieron's shoulders, but like the sky, it remains way out of his reach.

Bacon! BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACON! Jyg'g HUNGRAY!

*snickt* *snickt*


I took last night off to celebrate the little one's 3rd birthday, I'll be back this afternoon after work, anyone who hasn't posted by then will be assumed to be following along with the others.


As you flee through the woods it isn't long before you hear the sound of barking cutting through the air, it last for only a moment before the sound is cut off in a sharp yelp, then is forever silenced.

M, did you still want to creep back and take a gander?

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