Exactly.
I'm back from the Turnip Connoisseur Conference!
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Did you turnip any good recipes there?
Yeah, boss, I remember you saying something about never eating anything I cooked again after the third use of the +5 stomach pump.
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{rushes in excitedly with laptop} Good news, CF! I was just checking the sales figures: your brand new Celestial Follower's Sustaining Spoontm is selling through the roof! It's a little odd that nearly all off them are being bought and shipped to only two buyers: 1) someplace called "The Reno Buffet of Dis," and b) someone named "Ramsay Bolton" though... Still, a sale is a sale!
Yay! And to think the spoons were almost recalled due to all the zombies they created...
I thought the new models were supposed to be upgraded to wights?
I'll hack up any zombies you want. My paladins are immune to disease, any disease.
I must have missed the wight memo.
Back to the drawing board...
Bake sale.
No, no, no. I can't Mohrgs dishing out cupcakes and girl scout cookies. I wonder if they would like working at a car wash. I heard the tips are pretty good.
F-cking Krakens! How did they get out of the water and cross the border without their visa permit and green card?
I've told people a hundred times before car washes plus nereids equalsa big profits. Butnobodylistens...
Katie Couric's a kracken. Gentlemen, prepare your trusty mounts and weapons. We ride forth to slay the beast.
*rides up in a chariot made of stripped Inevitable gears, pulled by a pair of Imentesh Proteans*
Let's roll, yeeesssss.
I always thought Matt Lauer was the secret kraken.
You never let me get a trampoline!
{sets fire to Matt Lauer just to be sure}
Hooray!!
It was the beet frosting, wasn't it?
Ayup.
You forgot the repellant again, didn't you, yeeessss?
I remember a couple of years ago when I got you a poodle for your birthday. The look of surprise on your face was priceless.
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It was the beet frosting, wasn't it?
I tried the new Beets by Dre. Ugh, waaaaaaaaaaaay overrated.
Say, whatever happened to that poodle?
Angel Fish.
...are delicious. I just had to finish that sentence.
Especially with a nice turnip glaze. Not that I've ever tried that.
<.<
>.>
I have a slug gun. It fires real slugs.
Eggs Celestial Follower will real mollusks
I hope they're not hemorrhagic slugs, because I don't think celestials are immune to bleed.
You should see someone about that. Regeneration is a wonderful thing, yeeesssss.
I think they're vampiric leeches.
<Picks up slug>
I'll name this one "Painy".
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{points at hemorrhagic slug on CF's leg} Maybe name that one Thirsty Howell III?
I'm a little woozy, so I'll use one of my spell-like abilities.
<Uses 1/day summon apple pie>
{floats back inside from trip to the mailbox followed closely by Celestial Follower's Floating Wheelbarrow} Holy crap, when was the last time someone checked the mail?
{absently parks overfull over d Angel Fish bowl}
The mailbox is infested with YOLO spiders, so I've been avoiding it.
I wonder if I won 2004's Publisher's Clearing House Grand Prize.
The Ghost of Ed McMahon haunts that box.
Eeeeeexcellent. Send him door to door, yeeesssss. The looks on people's faces will be priceless.