The Slaad Thread

[Jack Hammer]

General J. Debauchery wrote:

Runs around the thread commando style.

If that doesn't make 'em surrender fast...

Runs around the thread commando style pushing a LAW-mower.

And if that doesn't work...

Runs around the thread commando style pushing a LAW-mower and farting.

Ewww! I'm thinking about surrendering. All that saggy chrome...

[Tossed Slaad]

How very chaotic of you, General! Are you sure you aren't part slaad?

[Salty Jack]

Jumps in, and starts sprinkling salt on the slaadi.

[Jack Hammer]

Salty Jack wrote:

Jumps in, and starts sprinkling salt on the slaadi.

Ummm...they're not slugs. Well, most of 'em aren't. Carry on.

[Tossed Slaad]

Salty Jack wrote:

Jumps in, and starts sprinkling salt on the slaadi.

I'm a slaad, not a slug. *licks up the salt*

[General J. Debauchery]

Smurf!

Giant, nekked Smurf with a LAW-mower!

[Salty Jack]

Tossed Slaad wrote:

Salty Jack wrote:

Jumps in, and starts sprinkling salt on the slaadi.

I'm a slaad, not a slug. *licks up the salt*

Excellent! We smurfs luv our meals seasoned from within! chases Tossed Slaad

[Jack Hammer]

Oh well. Smurf!

Runs amuck, but no one notices.

Great. I got the constipated smurf

[Poodle Jack Slaad]

General J. Debauchery wrote:

Runs around the thread commando style.

If that doesn't make 'em surrender fast...

Runs around the thread commando style pushing a LAW-mower.

And if that doesn't work...

Runs around the thread commando style pushing a LAW-mower and farting.

Looks like someone has a Chaos shard in 'em...

[Egg Slaad]

Jack Hammer wrote:

Oh well. Smu*f!

Runs amuck, but no one notices.

Great. I got the constipated smu*f

Look at all this light blue Chaos! <sniff> It's beautiful ... <sniff, sniff ... a tear rolls down his light blue slaad cheek>

<picks up one of the smu*fs, gives it a big sladdi hug and implants an egg>

Thank you little blue guy!

[General J. Debauchery]

Poodle Jack Slaad wrote:

General J. Debauchery wrote:

Runs around the thread commando style.

If that doesn't make 'em surrender fast...

Runs around the thread commando style pushing a LAW-mower.

And if that doesn't work...

Runs around the thread commando style pushing a LAW-mower and farting.

Looks like someone has a Chaos shard in 'em...

Chases Poodle Jack Slaad with LAW-mower.

Come here you fluffy rat! You gots to choose either Jack or Slaad in this war!

[Egg Slaad]

Poodle Jack Slaad wrote:

General J. Debauchery wrote:

Runs around the thread commando style.

If that doesn't make 'em surrender fast...

Runs around the thread commando style pushing a LAW-mower.

And if that doesn't work...

Runs around the thread commando style pushing a LAW-mower and farting.

Looks like someone has a Chaos shard in 'em...

I tried to warn him about running over Chaos spheres with a LAW-mower ...

<pulls out the photograph of General J. Debauchery wearing a tutu and running over Chaos spheres with a LAW-mower>

[Salty Jack]

Egg Slaad wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Oh well. Smu*f!

Runs amuck, but no one notices.

Great. I got the constipated smu*f

Look at all this light blue Chaos! <sniff> It's beautiful ... <sniff, sniff ... a tear rolls down his light blue slaad cheek>

<picks up one of the smu*fs, gives it a big sladdi hug and implants an egg>

Thank you little blue guy!

sprinkles blue salt on Egg Slaad. Starts nibbling on its arm.

Yummy! We smurfs luv egg salad!

[Egg Slaad]

General J. Debauchery wrote:

Poodle Jack Slaad wrote:

General J. Debauchery wrote:

Runs around the thread commando style.

If that doesn't make 'em surrender fast...

Runs around the thread commando style pushing a LAW-mower.

And if that doesn't work...

Runs around the thread commando style pushing a LAW-mower and farting.

Looks like someone has a Chaos shard in 'em...

Chases Poodle Jack Slaad with LAW-mower.

Come here you fluffy rat! You gots to choose either Jack or Slaad in this war!

On the contrary! In this war we can choose one or the other, both or none. We are Chaotic after all ...

[General J. Debauchery]

Egg Slaad wrote:

Poodle Jack Slaad wrote:

General J. Debauchery wrote:

Runs around the thread commando style.

If that doesn't make 'em surrender fast...

Runs around the thread commando style pushing a LAW-mower.

And if that doesn't work...

Runs around the thread commando style pushing a LAW-mower and farting.

Looks like someone has a Chaos shard in 'em...

I tried to warn him about running over Chaos spheres with a LAW-mower ...

<pulls out the photograph of General J. Debauchery wearing a tutu and running over Chaos spheres with a LAW-mower>

In the wake of the explosions of LAW versus CHAOS lies a thread of calm, neither one extreme or the other.

Hee! Hee! We smurfs luv a scorched earth policy.

[Egg Slaad]

Salty Jack wrote:

Egg Slaad wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Oh well. Smu*f!

Runs amuck, but no one notices.

Great. I got the constipated smu*f

Look at all this light blue Chaos! <sniff> It's beautiful ... <sniff, sniff ... a tear rolls down his light blue slaad cheek>

<picks up one of the smu*fs, gives it a big sladdi hug and implants an egg>

Thank you little blue guy!

sprinkles blue salt on Egg Slaad. Starts nibbling on its arm.

Yummy! We smu*fs luv egg salad!

And we love you little blue carri ... vict ... guys too!

<picks up Salty Jack, gives him a big slaadi hug and implants an egg>

[Salty Jack]

Egg Slaad wrote:

Salty Jack wrote:

Egg Slaad wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

Oh well. Smu*f!

Runs amuck, but no one notices.

Great. I got the constipated smu*f

Look at all this light blue Chaos! <sniff> It's beautiful ... <sniff, sniff ... a tear rolls down his light blue slaad cheek>

<picks up one of the smu*fs, gives it a big sladdi hug and implants an egg>

Thank you little blue guy!

sprinkles blue salt on Egg Slaad. Starts nibbling on its arm.

Yummy! We smu*fs luv egg salad!

And we love you little blue carri ... vict ... guys too!

<picks up Salty Jack, gives him a big slaadi hug and implants an egg>

shakes empty leg and implanted eggs rattle around.

Hey! A smurf maraca! Thanks!

[Poodle Jack Slaad]

General J. Debauchery wrote:

Chases Poodle Jack Slaad with LAW-mower.

Come here you fluffy rat! You gots to choose either Jack or Slaad in this war!

You forget, I can choose Poodle!

*humps General J. Debauchery's leg*

[Egg Slaad]

Poodle Jack Slaad wrote:

General J. Debauchery wrote:

Chases Poodle Jack Slaad with LAW-mower.

Come here you fluffy rat! You gots to choose either Jack or Slaad in this war!

You forget, I can choose Poodle!

*humps General J. Debauchery's leg*

LOL! Point goes to PJS!

YES! Embrace the chaos!

[Tossed Slaad]

This is the best thread ever.

[Jack's Right Hand Man]

*comes into the thread swinging with his mighty vorpal sword*

[General J. Debauchery]

Poodle Jack Slaad wrote:

General J. Debauchery wrote:

Chases Poodle Jack Slaad with LAW-mower.

Come here you fluffy rat! You gots to choose either Jack or Slaad in this war!

You forget, I can choose Poodle!

*humps General J. Debauchery's leg*

General Jack smiles

I was prepared for this contingency. I leave one obvious choice and you take it...

Pulls out pocket Jackapult and launches poodle into the celestial thread.

That ought to get those holy rollers running.

[Green Slaad]

*looks at JRHM* Please don't kill me!!! *a slashing sound is heard and then the Slaad's head begins to roll around on the ground*

[Jack's Right Hand Man]

One down, ten million more to go!

[dang hippeh]

Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:

*comes into the thread swinging with his mighty vorpal sword*

Hey, watch where you're swinging that thing, man!

[Greyish-Greenish Slaad]

Poodle Jack Slaad wrote:

General J. Debauchery wrote:

Chases Poodle Jack Slaad with LAW-mower.

Come here you fluffy rat! You gots to choose either Jack or Slaad in this war!

You forget, I can choose Poodle!

*humps General J. Debauchery's leg*

Haha! Poodles unite!

*Humps Jack Hammer*
YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP 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YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP

[The Jackskunk]

Sorry I'm late!
*Releases horrible cloud of axiomatic stench, specially blessed by angels earlier. Jacks are, of course, immune*

[Jack Hammer]

Green Slaad wrote:

*looks at JRHM* Please don't kill me!!! *a slashing sound is heard and then the Slaad's head begins to roll around on the ground*

Uses his hammer like a croquet mallet, and launches the head between the hoops and splatting it into the pole

Point for me!

[Announcer's Voiceover]

Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:

*comes into the thread swinging with his mighty vorpal sword*

<we've secretly replaced Jack's Right Hand Man's vorpal sword with a piece of limp linguine. Let's see if he notices ... >

[Jack Hammer]

Greyish-Greenish Slaad wrote:

Poodle Jack Slaad wrote:

General J. Debauchery wrote:

Chases Poodle Jack Slaad with LAW-mower.

Come here you fluffy rat! You gots to choose either Jack or Slaad in this war!

You forget, I can choose Poodle!

*humps General J. Debauchery's leg*

Haha! Poodles unite!

*Humps Jack Hammer*
YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP...

Picks up poodle-looking greyish-green slaad and places in into the mini-Jackapult, aiming it at Egg Slaad.

Open up and say 'Ahhh'!

[General J. Debauchery]

Announcer's Voiceover wrote:

Jack's Right Hand Man wrote:

*comes into the thread swinging with his mighty vorpal sword*

<we've secretly replaced Jack's Right Hand Man's vorpal sword with a piece of limp linguine. Let's see if he notices ... >

I've got a tiny blue pill if he needs to straighten that sword back up!

[dang hippeh]

Stop the violence!!!

[Greyish-Greenish Slaad]

Jack Hammer wrote:

Greyish-Greenish Slaad wrote:

Poodle Jack Slaad wrote:

General J. Debauchery wrote:

Chases Poodle Jack Slaad with LAW-mower.

Come here you fluffy rat! You gots to choose either Jack or Slaad in this war!

You forget, I can choose Poodle!

*humps General J. Debauchery's leg*

Haha! Poodles unite!

*Humps Jack Hammer*
YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP YAP...

Picks up poodle-looking greyish-green slaad and places in into the mini-Jackapult, aiming it at Egg Slaad.

Open up and say 'Ahhh'!

HEY! I'll have yu know I'm 100% Poodle!

*Piddles in slaad's stomach*
It may not implant eggs anymore, but Poodle Piddle is acidic!

[Jack Hammer]

dang hippeh wrote:

Stop the violence!!!

All the combatants, Slaad and Jack alike turn at once to face the hippeh.

You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

[Salty Jack]

Jack Hammer wrote:

dang hippeh wrote:

Stop the violence!!!

All the combatants, Slaad and Jack alike turn at once to face the hippeh.

You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

That hippeh looks a lot like a peasant.

[General J. Debauchery]

Jack Hammer wrote:

dang hippeh wrote:

Stop the violence!!!

All the combatants, Slaad and Jack alike turn at once to face the hippeh.

You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

Bet he steals a lot too.

[The Jackskunk]

Salty Jack wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

dang hippeh wrote:

Stop the violence!!!

All the combatants, Slaad and Jack alike turn at once to face the hippeh.

You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

That hippeh looks a lot like a peasant.

It looks fat. *drools*

[Jack Hammer]

How 'bout we hold him down and you slaadi implant him with eggs, then we launch him to the Clelestial thread?

[Jack's Right Hand Man]

Jack Hammer wrote:

dang hippeh wrote:

Stop the violence!!!

All the combatants, Slaad and Jack alike turn at once to face the hippeh.

You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

Yep!

[General J. Debauchery]

Jack Hammer wrote:

How 'bout we hold him down and you slaadi implant him with eggs, then we launch him to the Clelestial thread?

Then we can get back to our regularly scheduled violence.

[Salty Jack]

The Jacks pounce on the hippeh and hold him down, while the full-size Jackapult is readied.

[Egg Slaad]

The Jackskunk wrote:

Salty Jack wrote:

Jack Hammer wrote:

dang hippeh wrote:

Stop the violence!!!

All the combatants, Slaad and Jack alike turn at once to face the hippeh.

You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?

That hippeh looks a lot like a peasant.

It looks fat. *drools*

ugh, heartburn ... <burps and Greenish Grey Slaad comes flying out>

Oh that's better.

JACKS! SLAADS! Hold one second!

<implants an egg in the dang Hippeh>

OK, launch away!

man this thread is moving fast.

[dang hippeh]

What's going on?

Oh.

I see.

Well, this is one of the only threads I haven't been killed on yet, so I guess I should have seen it coming.

[Jack Hammer]

Set to maximum the Jackapult launches the peace-loving hippeh into the Celestial Thread.

After he's been killed and set on fire...

[dang hippeh]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

[Poodle Jack Slaad]

General J. Debauchery wrote:

General Jack smiles

I was prepared for this contingency. I leave one opening and you take it...

That probably could have been worded better considering the circumstances...

General J. Debauchery wrote:

Pulls out pocket Jackapult and launches poodle into the celestial thread.

I CAN FLY!

*turns around in midair to throw "landmines" at the General*

[Ambrosia Slaad]

Jack Hammer wrote:

Ambrosia likes the Jacks better than you guys!

Slip and Slaad wrote:

Ambrosia likes everyone like that!

{telepathically contacts thread combatants:} HEY! I went visiting in the Jack thread because 1) I thought I could make a few friends and mend fences between the Jacks and Slaadi, 2) they have Jills there, and 3) they have a pool.

Devlyn, Jack o' Nine Dales wrote:

Harsh man, just harsh.... :D

I'm not sure I have honor, but thanks for defending it. :)

I go away for a few days to finish a project, and you guys go nuts. Boys will be boys I guess. 8P

[Egg Slaad]

Hey Cobb/head/thingy, come out and play with our new friends. They're oh so much fun and all this wonderful chaos is just breath-taking.

<burps>

Oh man, I need to find some antacid. That greenish-grey slaad just wasn't quick ripe yet ...

<pops out to the corner Chaos Quickie Mart>

[Tossed Slaad]

Hey, look what I found! A case of beer! How fortuitous.

Jacks, want a cold beer?

*offers Jacks beer lace with golem-bane acid*

[The Jackskunk]

Tossed Slaad wrote:

Hey, look what I found! A case of beer! How fortuitous.

Jacks, want a cold beer?

*offers Jacks beer lace with golem-bane acid*

*Sips*

*Stomach acids and beer acids battle for dominance*
Augh...poison...don't...drink...