Granted. The human race evolves without humour or art, and is no longer plagued by performances of any kind.
I wish the word wish were spelled 'whish' from now on.
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Granted. The human race evolves without humour or art, and is no longer plagued by performances of any kind.
I wish the word wish were spelled 'whish' from now on.
Granted. You decide to celebrate with a boozy nights drinking. The depressing drivel spouted by the other customers of the Whine Bar causes you to commit suicide.
I wish for Ben and Jerrys to do a flavour involving marshmallow and blueberries.
Granted. The k'zinti invade earth. Ben and Jerry's make marshmallow blueberry tuna icecream for their pantherish masters.
I wish Sharoth was cool.
Granted. Sharoth is instantly transported to Antarctica. Being a silver dragon, this doesn't bother him much, but it does bother you when he shows up on your doorstep really pissed about the interruption to his day.
I wish I could sleep at night.
I wish I could sleep at night.
Granted. But since it is always night somewhere, you never wake up.
I wish I could drive Kit from Knight Rider.
I wish I could drive Kit from Knight Rider.
Granted. However, Hasselhoff has to ride shotgun.
I wish I could eat whatever I want while maintaining my current weight. (Maybe a few pounds less, but no 'Thinner' shenanigans.)
Granted.
What you want changes frequently to balance out your caloric intake. After eating a double monster bacon BBQ thickburger, you develop an insatiable craving for celery and Diet Coke that lasts for 3 days.
I wish I could summon angry kittens and throw them at people.
Granted, you are Fley from Gormengast
I wish for success.
Granted.
What you want changes frequently to balance out your caloric intake. After eating a double monster bacon BBQ thickburger, you develop an insatiable craving for celery and Diet Coke that lasts for 3 days.
I wish I could summon angry kittens and throw them at people.
Granted, you are Fley from Gormengast
I wish for success.
Granted. You succeed in utterly destroying yourself.
I wish my feet would stop hurting. Without any funny business about having them cut off or me being paralyzed.
Granted. Someone you know walks over and says he/she can make you forget about the pain. When you ask how, he/she pinches you and you forget about your feet.
I wish humanity in general didn't suck.
Granted. Someone you know walks over and says he/she can make you forget about the pain. When you ask how, he/she pinches you and you forget about your feet.
I wish humanity in general didn't suck.
>>Granted now it blows....sorry couldn't resist.
Ok seriously granted, a large near earth object got a little to close, and blam humanity no longer exists.
I wish I had a new car.
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Granted. Someone you know walks over and says he/she can make you forget about the pain. When you ask how, he/she pinches you and you forget about your feet.
I wish humanity in general didn't suck.
>>Granted now it blows....sorry couldn't resist.
Ok seriously granted, a large near earth object got a little to close, and blam humanity no longer exists.
I wish I had a new car.
Granted but you got royaly screwed by the dealership your payments are 4 grand a month for 60 years.
I wish I new the meaning of life
Granted. you see through the chtonic veil and are driven utterly mad. Your last act is to scratch gibbering prayers to the old ones with the bloody stump of your bitten off thumb.
I wish that my wish would not be granted.
Granted. you see through the chtonic veil and are driven utterly mad. Your last act is to scratch gibbering prayers to the old ones with the bloody stump of your bitten off thumb.
I wish that my wish would not be granted.
Granted, your wish is not granted. Which of course means this post is irrelevant.
I wish to which witch is which.
Granted. you see through the chtonic veil and are driven utterly mad. Your last act is to scratch gibbering prayers to the old ones with the bloody stump of your bitten off thumb.
I wish that my wish would not be granted.
Granted, your wish is not granted. Which of course means this post is irrelevant.
I wish to which witch is which.
I wish to know which witch is which.
I wish to know which witch is which.
You realize that the attractive woman in your bed is actually the evil witch. Unfortunately for you this realization comes half a second before she strips your soul from your body and uses it to power another century-long eternal youth spell. She kisses your husk good-bye fondly as she goes off to find an attractive and rich man to keep her occupied for a few years.
I wish that the entire human race were environmentally aware, eco-friendly, and actually cared about the environment.
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Granted!
In a world wide epiphany the entire human race relizes that the greatest danger to the eco-system is humans themselves...
to rectify this parents smother their children before commiting suicide for the "good" of the earth.
I wish for the ability to transform my body into super-strong organic metal as per Collosuss of the X-men.
I wish they would make a movie based on the book "On a Pale Horse" by Piers Anthony.
Granted! The task goes to George Lucas, who over-engineers the movie with special effects and barely bothers with reading the original. Piers Anthony fans unite, led by their favorite author, and storm the Lucas home. After much bloodshed, both men are dead of lightsaber wounds. Anthony's novels are then outlawed in the post 9-11 U.S. for "inciting civil unrest". Fans or owners of these novels are shot on sight. All fantasy writers give up on the field for fear of being the next target. The world gets more boring as only Hollywood dares to "create" anything. Endless bad movies occur. The population of the U.S. dwindles and dies of imagination starvation.
I wish comic book writers would actually try to integrate their story arcs into the histories of their characters.
You realize that the attractive woman in your bed is actually the evil witch. Unfortunately for you this realization comes half a second before she strips your soul from your body and uses it to power another century-long eternal youth spell. She kisses your husk good-bye fondly as she goes off to find an attractive and rich man to keep her occupied for a few years.
What a way to go!
Granted.
I wish I lived someplace that was warm the whole year round.
Granted, but your choice to live in the sun's orbit was not a good one.
I wish people would stop saying that D&D is 'the devil's game' and other nonsense.
Granted! Now Dungeons and Dragons is seen as wholesome family fun since it is owned by Hasbro!
I wish I had a pilot's licence.
GRANTED!!!
You have a license to fly and someone throws you off a building in a misguided attepmt to help you fly.
I wish my wedding wasn't getting so bloody expensive.
Granted, you elope.
I wish I could make it start and stop raining whenever I want, with only myself knowing I can do so.
I wish I could make it start and stop raining whenever I want, with only myself knowing I can do so.
Granted! Not only are you the only one who knows you can start and stop the rain, but you also become the only one who can make it start or stop raining. You start the rain one day, then you get involved in an accident and slip into a coma. The rain never stops and the whole Earth is flooded.
I wish Saturday morning cartoons would return to network television.
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As you wish.
All networks now offer a 3hr saturday morning block of the new Animated Teletubbies Variety Show (kill me now!)
I wish kids today had more respect for their elders
Granted. All children under the age of twelve begin to zealously worship Cthulhu, Nyarlathotep, Azathoth, and Yog-Sothoth.
I wish someone would make China Mieville's The Scar into a movie, with Amanda Tapping as Bellis and Henry Rollins as Uther Doul.
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Granted! It's a CG action figure sales vehicle made by Disney, with all animal-headed people, and it's toned down to PG, but Henry Rollins is in it as a dog, along with Amanda Tapping as a cat, and Gilbert Goddfried plays her ostrich-headed friend "Shakey Pete."
I wish Ed Norton played Anakin Skywalker, instead of that Hayden whoever he was dude.
I wish Ed Norton played Anakin Skywalker, instead of that Hayden whoever he was dude.
Granted!
Brad Pitt plays Obi Wan Kenobi and the whole movie boils down to one Jedi's brain tumor making him punch himself.
I wish that all vermin would stay out of my veggies this year (I'm looking at you Peter Cottontail!)
Speaking of which, I wish that the previous poster discovered a new breed of flying snail in his vegetable patch, which made him world famous.
Fine. He uses the snails to take over the world, crowning himself . You are sent to prison for having rebellious thoughts, and you die there after thirty long years.
I wish for a delicious jelly doughnut.
Speaking of which, I wish that the previous poster discovered a new breed of flying snail in his vegetable patch, which made him world famous.
The new breed of flying snails quickly spread a flesh rotting disease worldwide. Although the CDC was able to bring it under control, all humans now have to wear plastic protective suites when outside in the open. The previous poster is world famous for his discovery and will be remembered forever as an ID: 10T.
I wish I had a car that could fly, and travel underwater.
I wish I had a car that could fly, and travel underwater.
Granted!
You drive off the cliffs at Big Sur ..
I wish that Rob Heinlein's novels were all made into movies
I wish for a delicious jelly doughnut.
Granted!
Look in the mirror ...
I reiterate my previous wish
I wish I had a car that could fly, and travel underwater.Granted!
You drive off the cliffs at Big Sur ..
I wish that Rob Heinlein's novels were all made into movies
Granted, but, as always, people realize the books were better and go to see the movies only once.
I wish more people could harness White magick.
Witchcraft exists, and is discovered. The religious right and the followers of islam unite and destroy the world in a fury of righteous fire, plunging us into a new age of darkness.
I wish that everything in the bible and the quran were literally true.
Witchcraft exists, and is discovered. The religious right and the followers of islam unite and destroy the world in a fury of righteous fire, plunging us into a new age of darkness.
I wish that everything in the bible and the quran were literally true.
Granted. Everyone realizes Jesus is a lich and God's real name is DM.
I wish for more wishes.
I wish for more wishes.
The DM throws a book at you.
I wish I had a ladder.
I wish for more wishes.The DM throws a book at you.
I wish I had a ladder.
Granted!
A fire truck falls on you from 300 feet up.
I wish that more people would actively contribute to charitable causes with their money and time rather than waiting for the government to do it for them.
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Granted. You meet singer songwriter Jack Ladder at a bar, and strike up a friendship. The friendship develops into love and you decide to become life partners. Ladder gives up his promising career to look after the home for you, so devoted is he to you, but you are unable to support the two of you on your single income. Eventually, you are forced to move in with Ladder’s parents in a small town in outback Australia.
I wish there was a better song on the radio.
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I wish that more people would actively contribute to charitable causes with their money and time rather than waiting for the government to do it for them.
Granted. Millions of people do, and scammers, con artists and fake charities take full advantage of the fact.
I still wish there was a better song on the radio.
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I still wish there was a better song on the radio.
Granted: Your favorite song of all time comes on the radio, and the station decides to keep playing it, over and over again! Unable to tear yourself away from the song, you continue to drive around, stopping only to put gas in your car. Eventually, you grow exhausted, fall asleep at the wheel, and cause a 2000 car pile-up in the middle of rush hour traffic.
I wish I could get motivated to do more work around the house.
Your lobotomy causes cleaning to soothe you.
I wish Penn and Teller had never met each other.
Granted!
Penn becomes a Wall Street guru and Teller goes into politics. Penn's involvement with Bernie Madoff causes a massive finacial apocalypse. Teller manages to get elected president and starts a war with Iran to take the public's mind off the Great Depression II. General Nukeyoulur war breaks out soon after.
I wish that the sun stayed up an hour longer than it does on a regular basis.
Granted! The earth slows its rotation during the day where you live, and resumes its normal rate at night. The ensuing earthquakes, volcanic eruptions and tsunamis wipe out most of the world's population.
I wish JK Rowling would write more books set in the "Harry Potter" universe.
I wish JK Rowling would write more books set in the "Harry Potter" universe.
Granted!
The bookshelves are laden with a new JK Rowling book every month. Bestellers like 'Harry Potter and the Runny Egg', 'Harry Potter and the Aggrivating Accountant', and 'Harry Potter and the Disturbing Sexual Encounter' suck up the public's spare money. Eventually many authors go broke from lack of sales as the evermore ridiculously plotted Harry Potter books become the main recreational reading of the masses.
I wish that I could breathe water while retaining the ability to breathe air as well.
I wish that I could breathe water while retaining the ability to breathe air as well.
You are now a newt. No, you won't get better.
I wish for a single, normal-sized penny.