Are there enough tentacles?


Curse of the Crimson Throne

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Dark Archive

Jordan Fenix wrote:
*decides for this time to go for the easy path and give the lictor of the order of the nail the address of the guild Jarod learned that shameful trick and gives them the list of crimes they commited... she waits outside making her nails and killing the stupid ones who though they could pass True Sight*

There's so much wrong with that idea, I can only list some things:

  • You don't have that guild's address
  • You have no proof.
  • The Hellknights are on our side. Old Boneclaw and me are old buddies.
  • It is legal for us to kill the enemies of Cheliax. We're government funded.
  • The hellknights were torn between laughing at you and ordering you killed. I think they want to have the cake and eat it, too. I'm not quite sure what DiViri said, because he was laughing so hard, but I think he asked for an estimate on your contract.

    Jordan Fenix wrote:


    this one worked with them... and mocks justice.

    We all mock justice. The Hellknights call it their favourite pastime. They're all about order. Justice is one of those jokes the wounded-bird-healers just don't get.


  • You get the top of the page and you waste it on a crusader?

    Liberty's Edge

    since there is 0 chance of winning this, because of godmoding I concede and leave for greener pastures...

    not that I agree with most of what Jarod posted... but since there is no chance of winning and there is no fun... I concede and move away

    Dark Archive

    Jordan Fenix wrote:
    since there is 0 chance of winning this

    That's what you get for messing with the Empire, you punk. Go vote your president or something.

    Of course there is no chance of winning. You try to turn Cheliax against Cheliax. Doesn't work. We're united under our infernal leadership. "Here I come, and Hell comes with me" and all that.


    Jordan Fenix wrote:

    since there is 0 chance of winning this, because of godmoding I concede and leave for greener pastures...

    not that I agree with most of what Jarod posted... but since there is no chance of winning and there is no fun... I concede and move away

    Not just godmoding. Also wallhacking. Which makes walls invisible.

    Well, not exactly wallhacking. More like clotheshacking.


    Since the vids listed went away, here are moar...

    I Can Has FreeSwag wrote:
    The care and feeding of your tentacled abberations

    Moar to care and feed for.

    I Can Has FreeSwag wrote:
    Communicating with your tentacled abberations

    Moar to communicate with.

    As an added bonus, even the Beatles aren't immune to abberations, as seen here.


    Parlon Merkins wrote:
    While Boomer's infamous Pants of the Many Monkeys (from rpg super-star "gag items" fame) has monkeys that can speak french, among other things, there are some aberrations out there that can sing in faux-french.

    And apparently, somebody's been teaching those tentacled aberrations how to sing in faux-italian too.

    Scarab Sages

    Mama-Mia!
    Mama-Mia!
    Mama-Mia Figaro!

    Magnifico-oh-oh-oh-ohhhhhh!

    ø¤º°`°º¤ø
    ,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,
    °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°
    °`°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°`°
    °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°
    ,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,
    ø¤º°`°º¤ø
    º°`°º

    Bael-zebub has a pretty little slug
    For me-ee-ee
    For Meeeee
    For MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    <solo>

    Liberty's Edge

    Snorter wrote:

    Mama-Mia!

    Mama-Mia!
    Mama-Mia Figaro!

    Magnifico-oh-oh-oh-ohhhhhh!

    ø¤º°`°º¤ø
    ,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,
    °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°
    °`°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°`°
    °º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,ø¤º°
    ,¸¸,ø¤º°`°º¤ø,¸¸,
    ø¤º°`°º¤ø
    º°`°º

    Bael-zebub has a pretty little slug
    For me-ee-ee
    For Meeeee
    For MEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    <solo>

    damn you snorter, you are a damned vicious and sick man, jajaja but it was great :P


    I Can Has FreeSwag wrote:


    Anyhoo- here's a public announcement....

    Tentacled...

    Now for a return engagement, moar stuff that doesn't make sense, cuz its full of romanticnesses.

    And lest anyone forgets, be sure to keep your tentacled aberration fit and healthy with regular exercise...


    And in the interest of keeping things "fair and balanced", here's a (possibly?) useful video primer on how to hunt medium-sized starspawns in a school setting.... (sneak attacks with blunt weapons, assistance from other tentacled aberrations, and advanced weaponry not included).


    Witness the latest development in public child safety, Special Tentacled Aberrations trained to guard and protect their young charges; now in a variety of colors to choose from.


    On why it doesn't pay to be assaulting tentacled aberrations with vegetables. ;)


    i always wanted to know what it feels like to wrestle cthulu.


    KaeYoss wrote:
    Susan Draconis wrote:
    What would the AberrationLoved feat look like?

    Prerequisites: Japanese Schoolgirl (though elves could qualify with their large eyes), must have had close enconters of the 4th kind with aberrations.

    Benefits: You can call upon 1d6+2 heroes of level d100 with huge swords or.... unconventional fighting styles to save you.

    Tell her not to be such a crybaby. It could be worse. It could be Ebby's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion

    awesome feat. i automatically qualify.


    Shuriken Nekogami wrote:
    KaeYoss wrote:
    Susan Draconis wrote:
    What would the AberrationLoved feat look like?

    Prerequisites: Japanese Schoolgirl (though elves could qualify with their large eyes), must have had close enconters of the 4th kind with aberrations.

    Benefits: You can call upon 1d6+2 heroes of level d100 with huge swords or.... unconventional fighting styles to save you.

    Tell her not to be such a crybaby. It could be worse. It could be Ebby's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion

    awesome feat. i automatically qualify.

    Note that the "close encounters of the 4th kind" prerequisite wears off with time, so you're in danger of losing that feat if you don't keep in touch.

    If you are about to expire, we can help you! You just have to scream.


    I think a time of Great Glory is nearly upon us.

    My guess for the first Advanced Player's Guide Playtest web enhancement (i.e. new Oracle foci) will be the "Oracle of Tentacles".

    I'd be happy to provide the mechanical detail.

    And here something for the kids to watch: That little rascal!


    Z'XSPXRZ, Unspeakable Associate wrote:
    Shuriken Nekogami wrote:
    KaeYoss wrote:
    Susan Draconis wrote:
    What would the AberrationLoved feat look like?

    Prerequisites: Japanese Schoolgirl (though elves could qualify with their large eyes), must have had close enconters of the 4th kind with aberrations.

    Benefits: You can call upon 1d6+2 heroes of level d100 with huge swords or.... unconventional fighting styles to save you.

    Tell her not to be such a crybaby. It could be worse. It could be Ebby's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion

    awesome feat. i automatically qualify.

    Note that the "close encounters of the 4th kind" prerequisite wears off with time, so you're in danger of losing that feat if you don't keep in touch.

    If you are about to expire, we can help you! You just have to scream.

    does ebbies spiked tentacles of forced intrusion count? if i keep using scrolls of it on myself?


    Shuriken Nekogami wrote:
    Z'XSPXRZ, Unspeakable Associate wrote:
    Shuriken Nekogami wrote:
    KaeYoss wrote:
    Susan Draconis wrote:
    What would the AberrationLoved feat look like?

    Prerequisites: Japanese Schoolgirl (though elves could qualify with their large eyes), must have had close enconters of the 4th kind with aberrations.

    Benefits: You can call upon 1d6+2 heroes of level d100 with huge swords or.... unconventional fighting styles to save you.

    Tell her not to be such a crybaby. It could be worse. It could be Ebby's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion

    awesome feat. i automatically qualify.

    Note that the "close encounters of the 4th kind" prerequisite wears off with time, so you're in danger of losing that feat if you don't keep in touch.

    If you are about to expire, we can help you! You just have to scream.

    does ebbies spiked tentacles of forced intrusion count? if i keep using scrolls of it on myself?

    Ah like thu way you think. You sure gots a purdy mouf sweet thang.


    Dill Dotee Baggins wrote:
    Shuriken Nekogami wrote:
    Z'XSPXRZ, Unspeakable Associate wrote:
    Shuriken Nekogami wrote:
    KaeYoss wrote:
    Susan Draconis wrote:
    What would the AberrationLoved feat look like?

    Prerequisites: Japanese Schoolgirl (though elves could qualify with their large eyes), must have had close enconters of the 4th kind with aberrations.

    Benefits: You can call upon 1d6+2 heroes of level d100 with huge swords or.... unconventional fighting styles to save you.

    Tell her not to be such a crybaby. It could be worse. It could be Ebby's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion

    awesome feat. i automatically qualify.

    Note that the "close encounters of the 4th kind" prerequisite wears off with time, so you're in danger of losing that feat if you don't keep in touch.

    If you are about to expire, we can help you! You just have to scream.

    does ebbies spiked tentacles of forced intrusion count? if i keep using scrolls of it on myself?
    Ah like thu way you think. You sure gots a purdy mouf sweet thang.

    unfortunately i'm not interested in a relationship. personally, i'd rather stare at images of Tomoyou Daidouji. i don't really like men. anything with tentacles is fine. as is Tomoyou Daidouji, Shinku, Suiseiseki, Dawn/Hikari, and Reimu Hakurei.


    Shuriken Nekogami wrote:
    Dill Dotee Baggins wrote:
    Shuriken Nekogami wrote:
    Z'XSPXRZ, Unspeakable Associate wrote:
    Shuriken Nekogami wrote:
    KaeYoss wrote:
    Susan Draconis wrote:
    What would the AberrationLoved feat look like?

    Prerequisites: Japanese Schoolgirl (though elves could qualify with their large eyes), must have had close enconters of the 4th kind with aberrations.

    Benefits: You can call upon 1d6+2 heroes of level d100 with huge swords or.... unconventional fighting styles to save you.

    Tell her not to be such a crybaby. It could be worse. It could be Ebby's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion

    awesome feat. i automatically qualify.

    Note that the "close encounters of the 4th kind" prerequisite wears off with time, so you're in danger of losing that feat if you don't keep in touch.

    If you are about to expire, we can help you! You just have to scream.

    does ebbies spiked tentacles of forced intrusion count? if i keep using scrolls of it on myself?
    Ah like thu way you think. You sure gots a purdy mouf sweet thang.
    unfortunately i'm not interested in a relationship. i'd rather stare at images of Tomoyou Daidouji.

    Ah gots no idee whut yer sayin'. So ya' wants ta see mah teentacul 'er not?


    Dill Dotee Baggins wrote:
    Shuriken Nekogami wrote:
    Dill Dotee Baggins wrote:
    Shuriken Nekogami wrote:
    Z'XSPXRZ, Unspeakable Associate wrote:
    Shuriken Nekogami wrote:
    KaeYoss wrote:
    Susan Draconis wrote:
    What would the AberrationLoved feat look like?

    Prerequisites: Japanese Schoolgirl (though elves could qualify with their large eyes), must have had close enconters of the 4th kind with aberrations.

    Benefits: You can call upon 1d6+2 heroes of level d100 with huge swords or.... unconventional fighting styles to save you.

    Tell her not to be such a crybaby. It could be worse. It could be Ebby's Spiked Tentacles of Forced Intrusion

    awesome feat. i automatically qualify.

    Note that the "close encounters of the 4th kind" prerequisite wears off with time, so you're in danger of losing that feat if you don't keep in touch.

    If you are about to expire, we can help you! You just have to scream.

    does ebbies spiked tentacles of forced intrusion count? if i keep using scrolls of it on myself?
    Ah like thu way you think. You sure gots a purdy mouf sweet thang.
    unfortunately i'm not interested in a relationship. i'd rather stare at images of Tomoyou Daidouji.
    Ah gots no idee whut yer sayin'. So ya' wants ta see mah teentacul 'er not?

    no. not that tentacle. go ask someone else. cthulu is so much more irresistable.


    Tellz me 'bout it. An' ol' 'Thullu makes the nicest sqeelin' noises too. Ah got's ta look up ol' squigly bottom 'gain, fer ol' times sake.


    Dill Dotee Baggins wrote:
    Tellz me 'bout it. An' ol' 'Thullu makes the nicest sqeelin' noises too. Ah got's ta look up ol' squigly bottom 'gain, fer ol' times sake.

    can you please stop hitting on me? i'm not interested in you.


    Shuriken Nekogami wrote:

    does ebbies spiked tentacles of forced intrusion count? if i keep using scrolls of it on myself?

    Those are just mindless spell effects. The encounter must be backed by an inscrutable mind from Beyond.


    Shuriken Nekogami wrote:


    unfortunately i'm not interested in a relationship. personally, i'd rather stare at images of Tomoyou Daidouji.

    He related to those spearwielding harriers. I once took a wrong turn in the Void and ended up in Doji lands. Man, was I not welcome there. They are really into law. And then a bunch of guys with spears came out of nowhere and asked me to leave. They didn't attack me - a sign of real wisdom - but politely asked me to go.

    That was a first. Ultradeadly ninja types are rarely well-spoken, so I surprised them by obliging them.

    Shuriken Nekogami wrote:


    i don't really like men. anything with tentacles is fine.

    What about mantacles?


    I see your name is well-chosen: Shuriken - small and pointy.


    KaeYoss wrote:
    I see your name is well-chosen: Shuriken - small and pointy.

    what do you mean? by the word pointy? i know i'm small. my other hobbies require a small size.

    i don't like mantacles eithers (what i think you are saying i will not describe)

    please don't ask me out. i was at my local gymnastics class today.


    The story of the Little Mermaid, as experienced by a tentacled aberration.


    Are tentacled aberrations the latest in the long line of thrown weaponry?


    Tentacled aberrations breaking into the bubblegum pop biz...

    Sovereign Court

    There are never enough tentacles.


    Here4daFreeSwag wrote:
    The story of the Little Mermaid, as experienced by a tentacled aberration.

    A thread errata just for you. ;)


    Here4daFreeSwag wrote:
    There are tentacled aberrations and then there are tentacled aberrations...

    And an errata for an older threadlink, essentials style. ;)


    How the hell did I miss this thread?!?!??!!


    1 person marked this as a favorite.
    Freehold DM wrote:
    How the hell did I miss this thread?!?!??!!

    You were not supposed to come here before. As your belief wasn't fervent enough, it was not yet your turn to be eaten. Others were more pious, and thus were eaten first.

    Sovereign Court

    I shall vanquish all evil in this place.

    Wait, what? *How* many pages?

    ...

    Forget about that, I don't have an elf's lifespan.


    Ahhh. The taste of sweet nostalgia. And the tang of fear. How I miss it so.

    We should raise this thing agian. The stars are right.


    Here4daFreeSwag wrote:
    Here4daFreeSwag wrote:
    The story of the Little Mermaid, as experienced by a tentacled aberration.
    A thread errata just for you. ;)

    Those damn mermaids!


    Z'XSPXRZ, Unspeakable Associate wrote:
    Freehold DM wrote:
    How the hell did I miss this thread?!?!??!!

    You were not supposed to come here before. As your belief wasn't fervent enough, it was not yet your turn to be eaten. Others were more pious, and thus were eaten first.

    Fair 'nuff.


    KaeYoss wrote:
    Here4daFreeSwag wrote:
    Here4daFreeSwag wrote:
    The story of the Little Mermaid, as experienced by a tentacled aberration.
    A thread errata just for you. ;)
    Those damn mermaids!

    Heh, them half-piscines... never know what you can get if you ain't careful. Reminds me of this 80's cautionary tale about life and dreams in the big sea

    and that does remind me...

    can missiles be considered magical with subtitles?


    Freehold DM wrote:
    Z'XSPXRZ, Unspeakable Associate wrote:
    Freehold DM wrote:
    How the hell did I miss this thread?!?!??!!

    You were not supposed to come here before. As your belief wasn't fervent enough, it was not yet your turn to be eaten. Others were more pious, and thus were eaten first.

    Fair 'nuff.

    Wait, there's "new blood" in here? Guess that means I gotta speed up those errata-tic revisions...

    P.S. An original bonus just for you; the tentacles aren't a lie


    I Can Has FreeSwag wrote:


    Moar to communicate with.

    As an added bonus, even the Beatles aren't immune to abberations, as seen here.

    A 3rd edition communication with aberrations. While I'm at it, why not press play on the beatles cd again?


    Here4daFreeSwag wrote:
    Here4daFreeSwag wrote:
    the tentacled aberration in question subsists upon a constant diet of... tuna
    Now with 100% different illustrations plus additional translation at no extra fee- and it's the same song too boot.

    Another round of tentacles, tunas, and translations for everyone.


    Here4daFreeSwag wrote:

    On another note, while it isn't quite the yuletide season yet, how's about some Lovercraftian Mythos Xmas Cheer*?

    * Not recommended for those with a proclivity for sight-abuse.

    How about some screeching to the choir?


    No freeswag 4 the dead wrote:

    ...

    *If this poster were alive, he'd offer this link for the tentacle-luvin' masses to enjoy, but he can't- 'cuz he's all dead from teh mace wounds*

    And a bit of webpost necromancy never hurts...

    ...except if your eyes are sensitive


    Parlon Merkins wrote:
    On why it doesn't pay to be assaulting tentacled aberrations with vegetables. ;)

    But it always pays to keep things up to date. ;)


    This is what happens when you let Tentacled Aberrations use their Int/Wis/Maybe even their Cha as dump stats...


    Parlon Merkins wrote:
    Parlon Merkins wrote:
    On why it doesn't pay to be assaulting tentacled aberrations with vegetables. ;)
    But it always pays to keep things up to date. ;)

    Just think of this as an errata for links about tentacled aberrations.


    Pretty soon, they'll be having tentacled aberrations for all your air/sea/land transportation needs (space transportation will require a wish/miracle however).

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