I laughed so hard after reading this, I literally ruptured. Thank you, Heathy. My wife does not appreciate cleaning up after you, however.Honest to god, though,....
when I was in sixth grade, I touched the paw of a caged lioness.
My line of reasoning was "when the hell am I ever going to get a chance to touch a lion again?" Nothing happened, but...
Kids, don't mess with lions.Like my wife does?
I swear, god strike me dead, it's the truth. I know there's lotsa bullcrap on the interweb...it's just my way of illustrating that kids ain't got a lick o' sense.
Oh no, I do believe you, don't get me wrong. I just think it's hilarious. The reasoning is completely solid, I wish I had the balls to touch a lioness. The closest I came was patting an elephant's trunk when it passed by my seat at the circus when I was a kid.
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Ok, you got lucky with the lioness and I can understand the tempatation to touch because they are beautiful, but when exactly did you first touch a wolf....this lycanthropy thing suggest maybe you got a little too...close!Honest to god, though,....
when I was in sixth grade, I touched the paw of a caged lioness.
My line of reasoning was "when the hell am I ever going to get a chance to touch a lion again?" Nothing happened, but...
Kids, don't mess with lions.
Anudder story....
we had a greyhound farm, about 10-20 years ago....out in the country.College town next door, anyway dumbasses would drive by, see "dog farm," and say "well, I'm graduating college, and I gotta git rid of this dog, so I don't want him to get put down or anything, so....hell, they got a dog farm; they'll know what to do with him."
So I'm walking along there, and this thing was HUGE. And he was SILENT. And I swear to you, that he wasn't there, and then he was. This big beautiful huge husky-looking thing. So I said, "hey, dude." And he looked at me, so I grabbed his leash, put him in a pen, and put an ad in the paper. So this guy came out, it was his dog, but it was like half-wolf, half-husky. I figure I wasn't stupid taking that thing by the leash, cause WTF-it had the drop on me anyhow's.
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Oh no, I do believe you, don't get me wrong. I just think it's hilarious. The reasoning is completely solid, I wish I had the balls to touch a lioness. The closest I came was patting an elephant's trunk when it passed by my seat at the circus when I was a kid.I laughed so hard after reading this, I literally ruptured. Thank you, Heathy. My wife does not appreciate cleaning up after you, however.Honest to god, though,....
when I was in sixth grade, I touched the paw of a caged lioness.
My line of reasoning was "when the hell am I ever going to get a chance to touch a lion again?" Nothing happened, but...
Kids, don't mess with lions.Like my wife does?
I swear, god strike me dead, it's the truth. I know there's lotsa bullcrap on the interweb...it's just my way of illustrating that kids ain't got a lick o' sense.
I'm glad that regardless of the fact that I didn't have the sense to NOT touch the lioness, she didn't rip my f*~@ing arm off right then and there. ;)
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Oh, and about 6 months ago, I was driving home at 2 a.m., from call at this hospital I work at on the side, and up ahead I see this big dog running across the street. So I slow down and damned if it isn't the goofiest looking runner of a dog; it ran like its gangly legs were made of rubber. So, it crosses the street, then it doesn't keep running. It wheels around as if to face me in battle or some s%+!, and it ain't a dog. It's a coyote, on the streets of Dallas, Tx, at 2 a.m.
I was like, "holy s&%+! Wild Kingdom, here we go!"
OK, true story. I was canoeing with a group of people down the Washita River in OK when I was in college. We came to a broad, slow section of the river, and decided to pull our canoes together and drift for a while. Right after we had all pulled together, someone yells out, "Hippo!" I turned, and sure 'nuff, I saw a hippo, I would say a pygmy, but still plenty big and impressive, in the water up-river some 20 feet away or so from us. Pandemonium irrupted, with canoes, limbs, and paddles going everywhere. The other guy in my canoe (from my original d&d group, btw) and I grabbed out paddles and tried to paddle upstream towards where we last saw the hippo before losing sight of it. We paddled like mad, and made some progress. Somehow, we tumped the canoe over and the hippo adventure came to an ignoble and unsucessful end. When we later got back to the room, I insisted on calling Arbuckle Wilderness (their property seemed to abut the river at one point) to try and get them to admit they lost a hippo. They told me they had never had hippos and I saw a pig or a log and hung up on me. Yeah, right.
PS No substances were used on this trip.
Anudder story....
we had a greyhound farm, about 10-20 years ago....out in the country.
Hey Heathy, what kind of pets do adopted greyhounds make?
Yep, there are coyotes in the metroplex. Still plenty of green spaces.
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Anudder story....
we had a greyhound farm, about 10-20 years ago....out in the country.
Hey Heathy, what kind of pets do adopted greyhounds make?
Yep, there are coyotes in the metroplex. Still plenty of green spaces.
A lot of them can be real nice dogs. There's some that are mean, but usually those greyhound adoption people will figure that out beforehand. It's just like people, I guess.
I got 3 real young kids right now, and don't feel like dealing with a dog at the moment, but I'm gonna get a little whippet dog in a few years. They're like this little breed of greyhound mixed with italian greyhound; weigh about 20-30 pounds.
Huh, I never thought of the hunt possibility. The whole thing was just so surreal...I really wish I had seen it again, but it was probably pretty stupid to try to get close to it. (I was about 18 or 19 at the time.)
Are whippets also raced and retired? I've always liked the idea of giving a dog a second shot at life.
Oh, and about 6 months ago, I was driving home at 2 a.m., from call at this hospital I work at on the side, and up ahead I see this big dog running across the street. So I slow down and damned if it isn't the goofiest looking runner of a dog; it ran like its gangly legs were made of rubber. So, it crosses the street, then it doesn't keep running. It wheels around as if to face me in battle or some s*&~, and it ain't a dog. It's a coyote, on the streets of Dallas, Tx, at 2 a.m.
I was like, "holy s*&~! Wild Kingdom, here we go!"
We have coyotes all over around here in MN, deer in downtown St. Paul as well. Animals can really get displaced because of the encroachment of humans upon the enviornment.
Anudder story....
we had a greyhound farm, about 10-20 years ago....out in the country.
Hey Heathy, what kind of pets do adopted greyhounds make?
Yep, there are coyotes in the metroplex. Still plenty of green spaces.
According to Bob Barker on the Price is right, they make excellent pets.
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Huh, I never thought of the hunt possibility. The whole thing was just so surreal...I really wish I had seen it again, but it was probably pretty stupid to try to get close to it. (I was about 18 or 19 at the time.)
Are whippets also raced and retired? I've always liked the idea of giving a dog a second shot at life.
I think they used to race whippets back in the 30's, but they don't anymore. They might in England, I'm not sure. Some people do coursing, but it's more of a hobby than anything.
My daughter lives in the St Paul area! (~Come back...Jyu1ch1...~)
She always talks about the deer, so now I'll have to ask her about the coyotes.
PS My Great Uncle's family helped settle NM, so he would want me to be sure everybody knew that the correct pronunciation, determined by real westerners, was KAI-yoat.
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Huh, I never thought of the hunt possibility. The whole thing was just so surreal...I really wish I had seen it again, but it was probably pretty stupid to try to get close to it. (I was about 18 or 19 at the time.)
Are whippets also raced and retired? I've always liked the idea of giving a dog a second shot at life.
Greyhounds and Whippets like most working breeds are very energy intensive dogs. Ideally they need to have near constant company (other dogs or people) and several hours a day of exercise. They generally don't make good house dogs but if you have a lot of yard space and a couple of kids to keep them occupied there just as good as pets any other dog, they just need to placed in the right environment.
Just so long as the Minnesota sound has gotten ironed out. I don't know what it is about it that accent that drives me so nuts, but when she comes home for the summer sounding like somebody from "Fargo"....ARGH!
The kid's actions were quite extreme however I don't believe that they show that he is a sociopath or that that he needs therapy. I have had friends who used to air rifle toads, and strap fire crackers to grasshoppers and things, even into their mid teens. Is that sadistic? Absolutely. But they certainly were not sociopaths and fuctioned well in society and held human life and well being to the same high standard as most people. So I am somewhat baffled by the assumption that a lot of people seem to have that the kid is going to grow up to be a future serial killer, or need medication.
It's not just the destruction of animals. The article said that he was pretty expressionless while he did it. That sounds abnormal to me. I'd expect the kid to at least be giggling or cackling with glee doing something like that... the sort of thing you see when boys put firecrackers on grasshoppers. Being fairly expressionless stands out for me.
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I have touched (OK trodden on) a King Brown Snake (world's no 2 for venom) and a Red Belly Black Snake (world's number 18). Trust me that was exciting enough for me....
The story would have had a completely different (and tragic) ending if the boy had been handling some of the other Australian reptiles.
Okay, show of hands... how many other people have noticed how many political liberals want the kid to have years of extensive therapeutic attention and psych evals and how many political conservatives want to feed him screaming to the crocodiles?
LOL.
This is how I know I'm a moderate. I think you're both right.
"So Timmy... now that we've had these two years to find out what went wrong and why you the way you are... do you now see why we feel it's not safe to let you exist... so much?"
"I... I think I do actually. I... I feel bad for what I did. WOW! I actually FEEL something! I think you cured me!"
"Excellent. IN YA GO!"
Just so long as the Minnesota sound has gotten ironed out. I don't know what it is about it that accent that drives me so nuts, but when she comes home for the summer sounding like somebody from "Fargo"....ARGH!
I always thought that Fargo was a very poor representation of a Minnesota accent, but what do I know, I say fishin....not fishing.
Contributor
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Coyotes do really well in urban environments, especially industrial areas. They actually avoid most of the green spaces in most cities, because there are usually too many humans there at night. They mostly eat rats, raccoons, stray cats etc, so in a way they are actually beneficial to the city. And Heathy's story notwithstanding, they mostly stay away from people.
Expanding urbanization has actually allowed coyotes to expand their range and numbers significantly, unlike most other animals.
I live more out in the rural area these days and that's where I know of the coyotes. I'm quite certain I saw a wolf a few years ago driving home early in the morning a few years back though. In the Twin Cities once in a great while they get black bears that wander down from up north, and they have had cougars as well, though that is far less likely, but it happens. Me, I'll get excited when I see a Sasquatch or aliens. I think in either case it would be the last time anyone would see me as I'm the type to get out of the car and walk up to it. Abduction material I am. I figure I'll only see it once, so I might as well make the most of it. Now when it comes to snakes, alligators, or crocodiles, forget it, I'm out of here. I guess you could add spiders to that list as well. Skunks are pretty but I don't want to get squirted, so I'd keep my distance from them as well. Woodchucks, they just run. Haven't seen or heard of any wolverines unless they are really far up north. I run from humans as well.
They actually avoid most of the green spaces in most cities, because there are usually too many humans there at night.
Small qualification: My choice of words might be misleading if you are not familiar with the DFW metroplex--there are "green spaces" that are larger than what most people are used to, and that are actually contiguous with wild areas.
Just so long as the Minnesota sound has gotten ironed out. I don't know what it is about it that accent that drives me so nuts, but when she comes home for the summer sounding like somebody from "Fargo"....ARGH!I always thought that Fargo was a very poor representation of a Minnesota accent, but what do I know, I say fishin....not fishing.
I may not be good at hearing the difference: Sarah Palin pretty much sounds the same to me. To be fair, When I visited, I didn't hear that same strong accent from everybody, although I definitely heard it. I think accents are a funny thing, with no accounting for why they strike people differently.
The fishing sounds great up there!
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The closest I came was patting an elephant's trunk when it passed by my seat at the circus when I was a kid.I touched a dolphin at Sea World. And a whale.
One time, I was at New Smyrna Beach, and the dolphins were running every morning for that week. So we went swimming, and this dolphin jumped 8 feet in the air like 5 feet from where I was standing neck deep in the water. And he jumped again, 8 feet away. And again, 10 feet away. And again, and again and again. It was the coolest thing I saw ever. I didn't talk for three hours.
The last sentence is the one that breaks the spell.
I saw a manta ray surface above my crab net off the pier at Sea Wolf Park, Galveston. He hovered there for a couple of minutes. One of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.
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I used to fish up there in Minnesotay with my grandad.
I'd just catch those little sunfish, but he caught all sorta pikes and muskies. He said he held up a perch one time to take it off the hook, and a pike jumped for it and landed in his boat. I hooked a perch one time and had a pike jump two or three times then steal the perch off my line. Pikes are cool. They look like little barracudas.
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The last sentence is the one that breaks the spell.
I saw a manta ray surface above my crab net off the pier at Sea Wolf Park, Galveston. He hovered there for a couple of minutes. One of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.
I wanna see one of them. I saw a porcupine fish and a 6 foot barracuda swum up to me about 3 feet away in West Palm.
My daughter loves fishing in MN. Maybe I'll get a job up there. Have a buddy who teachs at St Thomas.
It's too damn cold for me, man. Nice place to visit in the summer...
Yep. When I went up there to visit her one late May, I had to go to a second hand shop and buy some warm clothes to make up for what I didn't bring.
My buddy is a Ruskie though, so he loves the weather up there.
...this is horrible. That kid needs extensive therapy.
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One time, I was at New Smyrna Beach, and the dolphins were running every morning for that week. So we went swimming, and this dolphin jumped 8 feet in the air like 5 feet from where I was standing neck deep in the water. And he jumped again, 8 feet away. And again, 10 feet away. And again, and again and again. It was the coolest thing I saw ever. I didn't talk for three hours.
I don't think i believe this story...
** spoiler **
My point exactly.