I don't know if I've ever really had any *weird* jobs, but I think I make up for it in the sheer volume of jobs I've had in my roughly two-and-a-half decades.
Since I got my working papers in the early '00s, I've been (in order):
- discard books processor at a library
- Boy Scout camp counselor
- dishwasher at that same camp
- public access TV station assistant
- gas station attendant
- night cashier at a convenience store
- mechanic's helper
- assistant tow-truck operator
- assistant truck mechanic (until I got laid off a month later)
- construction worker (lasted two months until I got laid off that time)
- freelance RPG writer
- graveyard shift college radio DJ
- Wayfinder Magazine editor (not a paying job, but a job nonetheless)
- pizza delivery driver
- freelance handyman
- freelance guitar teacher
- loading dock operator/inventory processor for Sears
- landscaping laborer/professional leaf-raker
- singer-songwriter
- freelance illustrator
This is a good thread.
I was a christmas present wrapper for a local advertising company. We wrapped flashlights (if I remember correctly) for an entire company.
Besides 7 years in the Navy...
Process server (think Pineapple express). On my second delivery the guy came to the door with a gun. The next day I had to hide in a rose bush to ambush an old Asian lady who, up until then, had dodged every other server that went after her.
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Mass-Casualty Victim Roleplayer for various military contractors.
ADT salesman. That's right I'm the guy who'd come to your door in the the middle of the day and convince you that you had to have this security system. I like to call it my dark days as a Con Artist.
I spent 2 hours in a meth house selling them a security system...my karma bucket is overflowing..also sold a lady one by coming up to her door with out a jacks so I was cold and she let me in to not freeze. :/
Maybe that's why my avatar is a snake...
In college, was a human guinea pig for beauty product skin reaction testing. Twas an itchy experience...
The summer just after college I was a nanny during the day and a security guard at night.
Closest thing to having a mild-mannered alter ego without actually being a superhero.
I can't even make up stranger jobs than you'all have had.
RPG Superstar 2013 Top 16
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In high school, my summer job was breading hamsters at a local pet supply distributor. 100's of 'em.
I know this is an old post, but I died when I read this. Mental picture of somebody dipping little squeaking hamsters in egg then rolling them in flour and bread crumbs.
Dang. All I've ever done is desk jobs and warehouse inventory. I got nothin'.
In high school, my summer job was breading hamsters at a local pet supply distributor. 100's of 'em.
Breading them? As in to prepare for frying? ;-)
I spent a summer as a bodyguard for Scooby Doo.
The local theme park hired teens to dress up as cartoon characters and greet the children in the park. Unfortunately, these characters would regularly be targeted by other teens who thought it would be fun to "kick Scooby's @$$."
My job, protect Scooby, which I did rather well.
On some weekends, I would moonlight as Captain Caveman.
Could you do the shout? Caaaaaaaaptaaaaaain Caaaaaaaave Maaaaaaaan!
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I sell high-grade consumer and low-grade professional fireworks.
I am occasionally commissioned to conduct fireworks displays for various events.
I do motivational speaking for people like me who have Autism Spectrum Disorder.
I teach social cues to others with ASD.
I've been the public relations manager for a reelection campaign. (We won by a margin of a single vote!)
Bill collector.
My first "real job" out of college was working for said college...in the bursar collections department. I was one of those incredibly annoying people who called people who'd left with unpaid tuition bills or were behind on student loans, and asked them to pay up. All day, every day.
I really hated that job, and i wasn't particularly good at it, but i kept it for two years!
One of my first jobs was security work at a high security defence building that was being renovated. I had to "escort" electricians, builders etc whenever they were on site. Our official title was security attendant but everyone called us escorts.
One of the girls doing the same job had previously worked in a factory stripping electrical components. She used to joke that she used to be a stripper but now was an escort.
I had a job one summer washing tents at a local college.
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Another summer I worked in a video arcade. In 1983.
All of them. The concept of wage labor is seriously freakish.
My last job was general maintenance in a catholic cemetery. I helped dig up Joe Biden's deceased wife so she could be reburied in a Catholic cemetery closer to where his new home was gonna be....just after he and Obama got elected to run the country.
It's a mad mad mad mad world.
0.o
Another summer I worked in a video arcade. In 1983.This job probably blew massive chunks, but it's a dream job in my imagination...ahhh, Flynn Lives!
It wasn't that bad, really. The boss was an idiot, but mostly left me alone. The cool thing was that after closing my friends would show up and we'd play video games for free until dawn... lol
I grew up on a farm. Until you've had your arm shoulder deep in a cow's private parts trying to turn a calf around so it would be born properly and not die, taking its mother along with it, you don't know strange.
Senior year of high school, a friend convinced me to work with him for a shady tele-markerter selling stuff they parodied in "Wolf of Wall Street" and "Boiler Room". What a joke. The owner folded in like 3 months. (Not full on stocks or anything, but it was some kind of financial service junk)
It took me a few years to figure out why my dad called it a "fly by night" outfit.
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I've also been a roadie for local bands (ie bands that never got beyond the bar stage). We made out own lighting system out of coffee cans, 200 watt bulbs, and automobile light switches. And I made it RAWK!
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CLown. Seriously. Good pay. I basically consisted of me making kids stand in line and make animal baloons for hours. Kids were pretty good. The parents were a nightmare. I was in high school.
Military intelligence analyst. It was during gulf war 2. It was interesting to be able to watch the news and be able to know what was right and what was wrong. Of course I couldn't discuss it with anyone at the time, but still.
bartender at a gay dance club. I was single and gay, so that was fun.
Walmart.com phone operator over one Christmas season. Ever read 1984?. I was just like that.
Oh, I was a medic in the army. One of the weirdest things was to simply be around for this "pre-basic training" thing. Essentially it was weekend camp for high school kids to convince them to join the army.
CLown. Seriously. Good pay. I basically consisted of me making kids stand in line and make animal baloons for hours. Kids were pretty good. The parents were a nightmare. I was in high school.
Military intelligence analyst. It was during gulf war 2. It was interesting to be able to watch the news and be able to know what was right and what was wrong. Of course I couldn't discuss it with anyone at the time, but still.
bartender at a gay dance club. I was single and gay, so that was fun.
Walmart.com phone operator over one Christmas season. Ever read 1984?. I was just like that.
So a slow steady decline in credibility? :)
I once had a job pricing life insurance policies based upon how long people are expected to live.
Worked in the housing department of the college I attended. Some days there was no work for us to do so we were told to go count the number of bulbs that were out in the hallways of the dorms. Other days we were told to just drive around campus and come back at quitting time because we'd get in trouble for sitting around the shop doing nothing.
I used to be a banquet liaison for a large hotel downtown, which meant I was in charge of making sure every b@@%&&~ crazy thing a celebrity wanted in their room was in their room.
Also, I set up banquet halls.
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I was also a quality control inspector at a cheese factory.
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In the late '80s, I worked for the construction & maintenance division of the local electric company. I got a license to operate a forklift.
I also regularly cleaned up hazmat spills—mostly PCB-infused transformer oil from when an old transformer blew up. I got to wear a white hazmat suit while shoveling hazardous oily dirt into a 55-gallon drum... in 98F summer heat.
Let's just say... that job was a real incentive to go to college.
After I graduated college (at the height of the recession of the early '90s), I got a job as a bill collector for delinquent student loans.
Honestly, that job sucked worse than cleaning up hazmat spills... and didn't pay as well.
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I worked 2 weeks as a telemarketer. I didn't make a single sale and I was so depressed from the harassment by the manager that one day I stopped halfway to work, called from a payphone, and told him to screw off.
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I worked 2 weeks as a telemarketer. I didn't make a single sale and I was so depressed from the harassment by the manager that one day I stopped halfway to work, called from a payphone, and told him to screw off.
Bravo!
Everyone should tell their boss today to screw off.
.
Go ahead!
I won't, because my boss isn't an a&&%!~&, but you do you, man.
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Telemarketer for 1.5 days.
College Radio DJ.
Spent a summer-fall working at an ice factory.
Now I'm an IT Guy that gets asked to fix elevators, catch mice, electrical work, rebuild cubes, etc, etc, etc...everything that's not in my job description.
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I was never a telemarketer, I was a cookie inspector for the two weeks.
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In my early 20's (the early 2000's) I was a yacht club head steward, which meant I docked sail boats (not as easy as folk think actually), gave lost sailors direction over a radio, fished dead fish out of the harbor when folk complained, and had to mow the grass of one very steep and large hill (no one else would do it..not even landscape contractors LOL).
Upside, Canadian sailors tip well, in beer and cash, and they are generally very nice folk.
Downside, it is very easy to get crushed and hurt by a sail boat pilot who does not know his vessel or is new to sailing.
But I can say with confidence that I have wrangled 50 ft. sail boats in savage squalls!
At Toys R Us every box of stuffed animals came with step by step fully illustrated on how to put them on the shelves.
