
![]() |

The worst travesty is that they are the only piece that has special movement rules (except the pawn, see below).
Rook - straight line
Bishop - straight line (on an angle)
King - straight line (one space)
Queen - straight line
Pawn - straight line (only forwards)
I would also like to see the Pawn nerfed. At later parts of the game, they are too powerful. I mean, they can just reach the other side of the board and wish to be any other piece in the game. How broken is that!? Plus, they get this wierd power called "en passant" which makes no sense, and is way to powerful for a low-level piece. Plus they can move 2 spaces on their first turn.
Pawns Pwn! If you don't use pawns, you are playing stupid.
Note: I didn't say you are stupid, I said you are playing stupid.

Charles Evans 25 |
(In what I take to be the spirit of this thread... :D)
Actually, the knight is too powerful. It is the only piece on the board able to threaten another piece without that piece (unless it is another knight) being able to threaten it back. The other piece has to run away and hide, or at least try to maneuver for position.
What's worse, other pieces don't block a knight's attack or movement. It just jumps over them. If that's not a 'scry, 'port, and slay' technique, beloved by so many munchkin wizards in other games, I don't know what is.
The knight should be banned, but because it is too powerful, and anyone who plays with them is a power gamer who should not be allowed anywhere near a chess board.

![]() |

By extension, that means that Queens are actually not as powerful as most people think. Despite some abilities that appear good at face value, compared to other pieces, plus their rarity, means the Queen piece is actually not as good as commonly thought.
I propose a Strata system for classifying pieces, considering Movement, Direction, Special Powers:
Strata A: Weakest pieces. This is the King, which can only move one space, forces new tactics if threatened and draws enemy fire, and causes you to lose the game.
Strata B: Weak pieces. This is the bishop, which is trapped in the early game and is easily threatened by other pieces. Unlimited diagonal movement, but stuck on one colour square means easily predicted.
Strata C: Mid pieces. This is the bread-and-butter, including the Rook and Knight. Lots of movement, capable of winning the game with another piece in the endgame, one special ability (castling, jumping pieces).
Strata D: The good pieces. These are the pieces that are very good in any situation. This is the Queen, which augments the power of the rook, but is limited in number. Capable of killing any piece, and winning the game alone.
Strata E: The best pieces. These are the pieces that break the game. The pawns. Slow movement, but aided by superior numbers, lots of special moves (double-move, en passant, attack on angles) and the ultimate game-breaker - changing into any piece they want in the endgame, including the lesser pieces like the Queen.

![]() |

What you are all conveniently forgetting is the ability of the knight to teleport over existing pieces setting up flanking bonuses AT WILL! I have done extensive math on this and can tell you that far from being too weak, the knight is in fact the third most powerful piece in the game.
The first most powerful is the king because of his save-or-die mechanic that effectively destroys the game world. This is so stupid and I can't believe that Bobby Fischer didn't fix it in his Fischer random!!!!!!!1111
The second most powerful piece is the queen and that French 'En garde' BS is a stupid houserule and don't tell me it doesn't need to be fixed. (Can we say Oberoni fallacy?)!!
As for the knight, don't tell me your playing experience trumps my math on this. (I'm not going to show you my math because you aren't smart enough to understand it.) I'm teling you teleporting at will as many times per day as it wants is severely broken. In order to save the game and make Paizo chess worth playing, pawns should be able to teleport over an piece in front of them once per day.

![]() |

I mean, IRL....okay, I know better than to get my science butter in your chocolate fantasy, but
IRL
A KNIGHT CAN'T JUMP OVER A CASTLE AND KILL SOMEBODY!!! PLUS, a bishop can't run across 8 squares and kill a knight. He'd get stabbed the hell up.
And, when did Queen Elizabeth ever get out there with a big zweihander and chop anybody up with it? It's ludicrous.
From a historical and even a recreation type of a standpoint, chess is all goofed up.
The whole game just messes me up from a versiwhatthef&!!amillipede type standpoint.

Tensor |

Oh! I thought you meant the battle horse they ride upon shats all over the board.
As far a rules, calvary always crush footmen. It only seems that they are flying over other pieces, when in fact the horsies just have long legs.
I say we run some open play testing, and then poll for what changes people want to the game.
*EDIT*: It's the only way to be sure not to f+*+ it up, and end up losing market share to other strong companies.

![]() |

A lot of people think that the queenside castling rules are messed up, 'cause it takes longer to develop the extra piece, and on top of that, the king's still more exposed. It's a ridiculous, fail-frought move.
But we just allow you to castle queenside with the knight in place, and it solves the problem. It's a simple house rule. So queenside castling isn't "broken" at all.
I'm really diggin' 4th Ed Chess, though. I'm getin' steamed at the people who say it plays like WoW. That slays me. WoW, does it have en passant? No. Didn't think so.
(Actually, en passant is kind of like pawn aggro, come to think about it...)

![]() |

Someone or another wrote:A lot of people think that the queenside castling rules are messed up, 'cause it takes longer to develop the extra piece, and on top of that, the king's still more exposed. It's a ridiculous, fail-frought move.But we just allow you to castle queenside with the knight in place, and it solves the problem. It's a simple house rule. So queenside castling isn't "broken" at all.
I'm really diggin' 4th Ed Chess, though. I'm getin' steamed at the people who say it plays like WoW. That slays me. WoW, does it have en passant? No. Didn't think so.
(Actually, en passant is kind of like pawn aggro, come to think about it...)
Don't go saying "I can houserule it, ergo it's not broken." I get sphincter spasms over that shit and I kick in walls at home. That's a logical fallus.

![]() |

I know you all want to make fun of me, and that's allright. Have your little fun, if that's what gets you through it, man.
But look at checkers, man. All the pieces are 100% equally balanced. Just sayin.
Why don't you go back to the Checkers boards. We're trying to discuss Paizo Chess here, and you keep bringing up a different game.
I think Bishops need a new ability to improve their stature in the game. They should be able to bring one other piece back from the captured pieces once per game. Look at it as resurrecting the dead, or negotiating for release of prisoners, or converting new members - the point is they should get it.
Oh, and Knights should get damage reduction.

![]() |

Chris Mortika wrote:Don't go saying "I can houserule it, ergo it's not broken." I get sphincter spasms over that s#*! and I kick in walls at home. That's a logical fallus.Someone or another wrote:A lot of people think that the queenside castling rules are messed up, 'cause it takes longer to develop the extra piece, and on top of that, the king's still more exposed. It's a ridiculous, fail-frought move.But we just allow you to castle queenside with the knight in place, and it solves the problem. It's a simple house rule. So queenside castling isn't "broken" at all.
I'm really diggin' 4th Ed Chess, though. I'm getin' steamed at the people who say it plays like WoW. That slays me. WoW, does it have en passant? No. Didn't think so.
(Actually, en passant is kind of like pawn aggro, come to think about it...)
You mean phallus. It is the Oberoni phallus.

![]() |

Someone or another wrote:A lot of people think that the queenside castling rules are messed up, 'cause it takes longer to develop the extra piece, and on top of that, the king's still more exposed. It's a ridiculous, fail-frought move.But we just allow you to castle queenside with the knight in place, and it solves the problem. It's a simple house rule. So queenside castling isn't "broken" at all.
I'm really diggin' 4th Ed Chess, though. I'm getin' steamed at the people who say it plays like WoW. That slays me. WoW, does it have en passant? No. Didn't think so.
(Actually, en passant is kind of like pawn aggro, come to think about it...)
And checking is just the King's method of marking. I'm telling you, chess stole from WoW!
Polish Opening is full of fail. It is Epic Fail and lulz.

![]() |

Sigh. You ALL have it wrong. Obviously Chess is so broken, and such a horrible game, that these minor fixes you're proposing simply won't work. The pieces aren't balanced AT ALL. Chess is simply not a fun game. The solution is Chess 2.0. In this version, which has been developed over 3 years, all of the unfun elements of Chess have been removed, and replaced instead with pieces that all have the same powers.
Forget white and black pieces, they don't appeal to the modern World of Chesscraft players. Chess 2.0 uses red and black pieces, and to avoid the confusion over which piece does what, all pieces are now round and have the same abilities. They can move diagonally and kill other pieces by jumping over them. Furthermore, to reward successful play, if you jump over an enemy, you have the opportunity to jump over an additional enemy, and kill it also. You can continue this process until no more enemies are jumpable.
To reward high level play, after successfully crossing the board, a Chess 2.0 piece enters the King tier, which completely changes the game play, since your King playing piece can now move backwards. Finally, to show that Chess 2.0 sticks to its roots, playing pieces can still be called by their original Chess names of Rook, Knight, Queen and Pawn, despite being completely re-designed and balanced to now be equal to each other. Bishops have been excluded, since they were unfun to play and no one really liked them anyway.

Charles Evans 25 |
Jal is right that bishops are weak, but they HAVE TO GO. They are creepy pieces who believe in a deity despite the fact that there is NO SCIENTIFIC EVIDENCE to support their position. They're crazy I tell you. You don't want religious nutcases like that running a country, much less featuring on a chessboard.
And pawns prove that the theory of evolution is dead right.

![]() |

Bishops have been excluded, since they were unfun to play and no one really liked them anyway.
That's because people use bishops as heal-bots, which is fail. Really, bishops are the best unit if you consider the chess-board to wrap around. There is no rule in chess that you cannot wrap around the board, so that gives the angle movement the advantage. Also, it means both sides lose because they begin play in check. This rule needs to be clarified.

![]() |

I always house rule that Rooks can't move. They just sit there. It adds so much realism to the game IMHO.
But they should get a ranged attack to simulate archers firing over long distances. You are cheating your players, you are a cheater sir. Your houserules are meant only to nerf your players and prevent them from having fun. You are full of fail and your houserules are stupid.

Tensor |

Woah...the black side could be all evil and s@*@, and animate the dead chess pieces (white) and the white side could turn them. THAT would totally help. Then the knight could lay on hands, or maybe cure diseases and stuff.
Now you are talking crazy. This will give the children nightmares.
This reminds me of >Knightmare Chess< one of my favorite games.

![]() |

That's because people use bishops as heal-bots, which is fail. Really, bishops are the best unit if you consider the chess-board to wrap around. There is no rule in chess that you cannot wrap around the board, so that gives the angle movement the advantage. Also, it means both sides lose because they begin play in check. This rule needs to be clarified.
No, you’re wrong, if it’s not explicitly stated you can do something in the rules, you can’t do it. So no wrap around boards.
That’s also why you can only ever play one game of chess with each board, ‘cos it’s not explicitly stated you can play more than once.

![]() |

Heathansson wrote:Woah...the black side could be all evil and s@*@, and animate the dead chess pieces (white) and the white side could turn them. THAT would totally help. Then the knight could lay on hands, or maybe cure diseases and stuff.Now you are talking crazy. This will give the children nightmares.
This reminds me of >Knightmare Chess< one of my favorite games.
"think of the children!"
survey says, "XXX." fail.
![]() |

Jal Dorak wrote:
That's because people use bishops as heal-bots, which is fail. Really, bishops are the best unit if you consider the chess-board to wrap around. There is no rule in chess that you cannot wrap around the board, so that gives the angle movement the advantage. Also, it means both sides lose because they begin play in check. This rule needs to be clarified.No, you’re wrong, if it’s not explicitly stated you can do something in the rules, you can’t do it. So no wrap around boards.
That’s also why you can only ever play one game of chess with each board, ‘cos it’s not explicitly stated you can play more than once.
That's just a blatant cash-grab by the marketing department of "Chessmasters of the Steppes"TM.

![]() |

I thought the original rooks were war-elephants with small fortresses on their backs?, which explains why they charge in straight lines to crush their enemies. How much sense does it make that a war-elephant can't move?
Woah. You could also see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women. RoxXOZZ!!

![]() |

You are cheating your players, you are a cheater sir. Your houserules are meant only to nerf your players and prevent them from having fun. You are full of fail and your houserules are stupid.
That is so offensive! I’m offended. We need more moderation on these boards.
…
…
What, you’re not banned yet? That’s it, I’M LEAVING!!
Now, off to start a thread about it…

Charles Evans 25 |
Forget white and black pieces, they don't appeal to the modern World of Chesscraft players. Chess 2.0 uses red and black pieces, and to avoid the confusion over which piece does what, all pieces are now round and have the same abilities. They can move diagonally and kill other pieces by jumping over them. Furthermore, to reward successful play, if you jump over an enemy, you have the opportunity to jump over an additional enemy, and kill it also. You can continue this process until no more enemies are jumpable.
(edited, author)
Red pieces? That is so Victorian and racist. Everyone knows Lewis Carroll's secret agenda in Alice through the Looking Glass was advocating the genocide of native americans.Plus look at the Resident Evil films; what do they call the computer in charge of The Hive? 'The Red Queen', that's what; if that doesn't prove the secret agenda of those advocating red chess pieces, I don't know what does.
We don't need any red pieces in chess.

![]() |

TriOmegaZero wrote:This thread is full of win.It's turning into a "failmate."
Can we please stick to the points of the OP?
I notice nobody seems to acknowledge my totally awesome and thoroughly universally true Chess Strata, which systematizes the value of each chess piece compared to the others. I'm pretty sure Plato would have included it in The Republic if he could have worked it in.
EDIT: Heathy, that is best in life. :|