As we do not sleep beds are Irrelevant
We can fix you of that flaw
Hands out pamphlets
Hey, the Jacks are going to go on a raid. Do you any of you poodles want to tag along?
Who or what are you raiding? I have this appointment to get fixed.
Who or what are you raiding? I have this appointment to get fixed.
We are going to raid the Knights.
*Scratches real hard and passes some fleas to Kobold Cleaver*
My recent absence has obviously negatively impacted the cult. And maybe that is for the best since it seems my poodle brethren have failed to grasp the message. Maybe the poodles need a more capable leader.
My recent absence has obviously negatively impacted the cult. And maybe that is for the best since it seems my poodle brethren have failed to grasp the message. Maybe the poodles need a more capable leader.
So are you saying your not the top dog anymore? Your not an Alpha male?
My recent absence has obviously negatively impacted the cult. And maybe that is for the best since it seems my poodle brethren have failed to grasp the message. Maybe the poodles need a more capable leader.So are you saying your not the top dog anymore? Your not an Alpha male?
Hmm. This bodes for chaos.
Courtfool, you must not abandon the cult to another! The Founder must always be the Leader, or chaos shall reign!
My recent absence has obviously negatively impacted the cult. And maybe that is for the best since it seems my poodle brethren have failed to grasp the message. Maybe the poodles need a more capable leader.
*has nightmare visions of poodles returning to the Jack's clubhouse if Courtfool leaves* What are you talking about Courtfool? You've been a great leader for them. You give them a purpose. Did you see how heartbroken they were without you? I don't know of any poodle who can lead them like you can.
This bodes for chaos.
Hmm...poodle heads taste awful, because the brains are so bad...but I am hungry...
Please leave, Courtfool! I am very hungry.
My recent absence has obviously negatively impacted the cult. And maybe that is for the best since it seems my poodle brethren have failed to grasp the message. Maybe the poodles need a more capable leader.
Huh? how come?! I thought we were doin' fine... SOme of us got a bit violent, but that's usual every now and then.
Maybe we should make a manifesto or some reminder of proper poodle behavior!
*waits in expectation for the Poodle Master to deliver the Poodle code of behavior*
Ripped off from his Noddly Goodness (he would not mind, really) and excised to six.
The Six "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" of Poodlehood
I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing our poodly goodness. If some people don't want to follow us, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.
I'd really rather you didn't use the cult as an excuse to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. We don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.
I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. poodle = poodle. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about licking themselves on the sofa.
I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. Exceptions will be granted for leg humping, unsolicited licking, scratching, dragging your bum on the floor, counter surfing, and sundry other poodle past times.
I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of other cults on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the unenlightened.
I'd really rather we didn't build multi million-dollar synagogues / churches / temples / mosques / shrines to our poodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
Ending poverty
Curing diseases
Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable
We are poodles, so we do enjoy the simple things in life.
Ripped off from his Noddly Goodness (he would not mind, really) and excised to six.
The Six "I'd Really Rather You Didn'ts" of Poodlehood
I'd really rather you didn't act like a sanctimonious holier-than-thou ass when describing our poodly goodness. If some people don't want to follow us, that's okay. Really, I'm not that vain. Besides, this isn't about them so don't change the subject.
I'd really rather you didn't use the cult as an excuse to oppress, subjugate, punish, eviscerate, and/or, you know, be mean to others. We don't require sacrifices, and purity is for drinking water, not people.
I'd really rather you didn't judge people for the way they look, or how they dress, or the way they talk, or, well, just play nice, okay? Oh, and get this into your thick heads: woman = person. man = person. poodle = poodle. One is not better than the other, unless we're talking about licking themselves on the sofa.
I'd really rather you didn't indulge in conduct that offends yourself, or your willing, consenting partner of legal age AND mental maturity. Exceptions will be granted for leg humping, unsolicited licking, scratching, dragging your bum on the floor, counter surfing, and sundry other poodle past times.
I'd really rather you didn't challenge the bigoted, misogynistic, hateful ideas of other cults on an empty stomach. Eat, then go after the unenlightened.
I'd really rather we didn't build multi million-dollar synagogues / churches / temples / mosques / shrines to our poodly goodness when the money could be better spent (take your pick):
Ending poverty
Curing diseases
Living in peace, loving with passion, and lowering the cost of cable
We are poodles, so we do enjoy the simple things in life.
I'm glad I'm not a poodle. I usually break every one of those rules within an hour's time.
I hope, for your sake, what goes around, does not come back around.
We are poodles, so we do enjoy the simple things in life.
Amen, Yapyap!
*goes to laminate the poodle credo*
I hope, for your sake, what goes around, does not come back around.
Unless it's a tail. Then it's fair game to continue chasing it.
I hope, for your sake, what goes around, does not come back around.Unless it's a tail. Then it's fair game to continue chasing it.
Now that's fine poodle thinking my friend!
*sniffs the tree roots....raises leg...*
I hope, for your sake, what goes around, does not come back around.Unless it's a tail. Then it's fair game to continue chasing it.Now that's fine poodle thinking my friend!
*sniffs the tree roots....raises leg...*
Hey! Stop that!
*throws stick*
*throws stick*
*throws stick*
I hear the Jacks have some milk in a bowl for you Poodles.
I hear the Jacks have some milk in a bowl for you Poodles.*throws stick*
Excellent!
*goes for the Trix and beats away the rabbit*
Yap! Yap! Yap!
Yap! Yap! Yap!
Don't get too excited or we'll have to rename this thread Raise of the Puddle Lords. ;-)
Still wondering who is messing with the facility, the collective installs a doggy fence and goes back to more important things
*Charges cover to play at garden to buy expensive squeeky toys*
Is sure there is no yard....oh well switch on the electrified flooring
*brings out some steaks and BBQ and grills it on the floor*
Now somebody go get some sodas!
You do know we have a BBQ pit on the other side of the compound
Yeah, but the coals are probably out. Or maybe the food is all gone. Or the weather will turn crappy.
We can fix the flawed need for substance for you
Besides we have plenty of species 715 and 912 for the pit
We have been told 418 is tasty with a light lemon glaze
We can fix the flawed need for substance for you
Besides we have plenty of species 715 and 912 for the pit
We have been told 418 is tasty with a light lemon glaze
Please! Take all the poodles! take them far, far away from here! I am begging you!
Please! Take all the poodles! take them far, far away from here! I am begging you!
Nobody ever wants to take me anywhere.
Please! Take all the poodles! take them far, far away from here! I am begging you!Nobody ever wants to take me anywhere.
Wanna make a Tab run with me?
Don't take him master, he wets everyehere. Plus he's a real downer.
Please! Take all the poodles! take them far, far away from here! I am begging you!Nobody ever wants to take me anywhere.
Here's your squeecky toy! Use it wisely and don't let other poodles get it!
*stares anxiously at CDP squeecky toy*
Snags new squeaky toy
*SQUEEK*
That's OK, it probably would have made me sick anyway....
I had a squeeky toy like this once....it was stolen by a Great Dane.....after he beat me up.
I had a squeeky toy like this once....it was stolen by a Great Dane.....after he beat me up.
Now you are making ME sad.... DO you have the address of this great Dane?
We will take you
We will strip away your flawed persona
We will remove your weakness
We will give you a meaning a reason to be
Resistance Is Futile
Hands out pamphlets
Negative. Species designated #715 is not suitable for assimilation.
The species has no value to the collective.
The collective can always use expendable, easily replaced drones
The collective can always use expendable, easily replaced drones
This is why we assimilated species 692.
Species 269 and 512 as well
I had a squeeky toy like this once....it was stolen by a Great Dane.....after he beat me up.Now you are making ME sad.... DO you have the address of this great Dane?
Just great....now I'm ruining your life as well.....
Snags CDP's new squeaky toy and puts it next to the original. Takes turns squeaking each.
**SQUEAK!** **SQUEAK!**