I'm not certain that this one would be best suited to 32 pages, but it comes a lot closer than Boomer's entry, and the sheer niftiness carries it over the top. :)
Christine, you've managed to find that rare nexus of familiar, unique, original, and accessible.
I'm a core D&D/1st Ed feel gamer, and your stuff has found that tone but strung me along to some fresh ideas. Thanks, and congratulations, whatever the contest's outcome.
I'll be honest - this week was the first I knew about the RPG Superstar competition. That makes me sad - partly because that means I've been ignoring my hobby over my anger at the loss of Dragon and Dungeon mags, but mainly because it means I DIDN"T COMPETE!!
Of course, going up against entries like this, I wouldn't have passed the open-call.
At a quick glance, I'll make a few comments.
-I loved the poem - no idea if it belongs in a query/submission or not, but I loved it.
-Based on the back-cover text, I'd be running this module in a hurry. Why? Well, I'm basically the group's main DM and more than once a player has handed me an adventure and said, "Can you run this Saturday?" I think I would be handed 2 or 3 copies of it within a week of the FLGS getting copies. That text appeals to most of my players' styles.
-I am confused over some things, which I would think would get cleared up and detailed better in the final treatment. For one, the exiled prince bit now being king. Same realm? Different realm? Why the two dream-distilled doubles? I think a clearer view - at least for the DM - of what each faction wants is in order, along with what outcomes are possible based on what sides the players take. Most of the players I know would stay the heck out of the way once they figure out it is a "wrath of the gods" deal, unless letting the valkyries have their way actually is endangering innocents either in the city or nearby. (this goes for the living monastery, too).
I kinda hate to see a heretofore-unknown city be discovered by the PCs, only to end up destroyed in the course of the adventure. If I discovered this product on my own, I would likely take the setting from it and work up to the final climax of divine wrath by letting the players get to know the city at a much lower level and developing a stake (or three) in the city's continued existance. That way, they get involved on their own and *stay* that way, even once they figure out what all is actually going on.
Heck, I'd prolly buy it for the setting/map bits even if I never actually ran it as-written. Very neat stuff!
Without a doubt the best of the four entries. It immediately got me interested and I kept reading and imagining the adventure and how it would unfold with my group. Superb quality and certainly well worth winning the contest. There is really not much to criticize here but a lot to praise: A lot of fresh ideas and enemies, a good adventure hook and great scenarios throughout the story. I am looking forward to which path my group will take when we will finally be able to play it. Great job, you got my vote.
(and, to think, there will be another RPG Superstar after this!?)
No kidding. I tell ya - I'll be going back through this one's stages, now that I know about it, and doing my own entries - basically just to sharpen my skills at it all! Maybe next year I'll be paying more attention and catch the next RPGSS wave!
**wanders off to sharpen skills**
Loved the valkries and giants and the image of the priestess in stone. The city idea was awesome too. I was a little confused I thought that the real king was dead and the dream guys now ruled, but it sounds like he is alive. A few too many big things happening around the party (dragon and monastery) and the moving monastery sounds like a nightmare to run. Does sound more like a single 32 page adventure than the others I've read (all except for Boomer's). I really do want to read the final product though.
Great job Christine.
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 4, Legendary Games
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(and, to think, there will be another RPG Superstar after this!?)No kidding. I tell ya - I'll be going back through this one's stages, now that I know about it, and doing my own entries - basically just to sharpen my skills at it all! Maybe next year I'll be paying more attention and catch the next RPGSS wave!
**wanders off to sharpen skills**
It's a hard thing to get through a contest like this. At any given point you could be doing great or fall flat and get bounced.
In fact, if I remember correctly Christine almost didn't make it through the initial item round. Wolfgang really didn't like the item and Erik and Clark kind of went back and forth. I don't know if one of the judges had to 'golden ticket' her into the final 32 (I think each judge got to take 1 or 2 they liked and put them in regardless of whether the other judges liked it) or if they finally worked it out, but it was iffy as to whether she would make it.
Just think, for all the great stuff Christine has done in the contest since (I've voted for her consistently), she was THISCLOSE to not making it in at all.
Heck, Russ Taylor got to the final 6 after being the FIFTH alternate in the item round. Samuel Kisko and James Mackenzie, who seemed to on the fast track for the top after their countries, went down 1 round later on villains.
I guess all I'm saying is bring your A game and bring it hard every round. Get other eyes than yours to look at your stuff, and polish it till your fingers are sore. It still might not be enough, but if you can get across the threshold, whether you're walking tall or by the skin of your teeth, you've got a shot to go all the way.
Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
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Glimmerhold. Really good name.
I agree, but one thing about the name kept nagging me, and I just realized why. "Glimmerhold" is very similar to "Glitterhame," the massive cavern in the ancestral home of the dwarves in the Forge of Fury. You might wanna change it.
change the name ??
i really don`t think Glimmerhold is too close to Glitterhame. I think both are pretty cool, memorable names that can exist parallel. Probs though for remembering it.
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RPG Superstar 2013
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Steven T. Helt
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I have thoroughly dug all four adventure proposals. That Boomer's is more a campaign, and likely should be aimed at epic scope, means I am casting my vote for him in some other contest for writing adventure paths.
The other two adventures are awesome stories which feature great encounters and original flavor.
But for a DM who loves complicated combats, constant scene-switching, big cinema, and aiming high, Clash of the Kingslayers wins my vote. Everything else is commendable. The introductory encounter is unique and will capture attention. But the moving monastery, where former halls become crushing joints and chasms, that is an encounter for the ages. You have to give very specfic instructions for something like that, but a good DM will burn that encounter into the minds of his (or her!) players forever. While there is some fantastic stuff in each final submission, no one knocks it out of the park like the moving monastary, and I am ready to buy any adventure written by Christine Schneider, followed by any adventure written by the other finalists.
Congratulations, Christine. I am not the guy to coronate you in this contest, but you have accomplished a lot, and the fans you and the others have accrued during the first RPG Superstar will no doubt be stalkerishly loyal with their devotion and gaming dollars. Thanks for a great ride.
Despite my criticisms, I liked your adventure most of all. Congrats!
