"Let's see, 12 plus 24 plus 14....ummm...equals... FREE BEER?"
Karrin then mumbles to herself "sounds like a bad martial arts move." As she slumps back in her seat to show her displeasure.
"Be right back with it."
Sharinda hustles off towards the kitchens, waiting until she's away from the table to roll her eyes
"Sigh ... teenagers " Sharinda mutters
"Let's see, 12 plus 24 plus 14....ummm...equals... FREE BEER?"
Shactal huffs
"Don't count yer lagers before they're poured."
Eir leans back in her chair and drinks deeply from her mug, slamming it down bottom up on the bar. "Well, I can still subtract, can't I? So who tosses next?"
"I believe the goat rolls next"
Shactal looks over towards Thorn
"Oi! Goat boy! Stop starin' at the jigglies on that servin' wench and roll tha bones!"
A large silver plate seems to levitate through the crowded bar area, laden with various platters of food and assorted drinks. As the plate makes its' way towards where Ashura and Karrin sit, the 3' tall form of Sharinda becomes visible underneath it. Coming to an abrupt halt before their table, she begins placing heaping platters of buffalo wings and cheese-drenched nachos before Karrin.
"There you go luv, one cheesy nacho platter with jalapenos and salsa and Buffalo wings with a side of Bytopian Crimson Kick hot sauce. "
Sharinda places one more platter down that has another bowl of reddish sauce and a wedge of blue-veined cheese
"Since you couldn't decide which sauce would be best I brought out a bowl of Efreeti's Tears in case the Bytopian Crimson Kick doesn't do it for yeh. The cheese is Kirgalian Blue, lotsa folks like the taste with the Buffalo wings."
Sharinda hauls up her depleted plate and makes her way towards her next table.
"Oh Boy Nachos! Give-me!" Karrin cheers as the food is piled in front of her, "Nacho, nacho, Meeeee!" Karrin starts singing as she shovels the food into her mouth, "I'm gonna be a nacho queen! Oh Nacho, nacho me, I'm gonna eat some nachos! Hey, hey, hey!"
Karrin continues eating and singing for a moment longer before she remembers her manors.
"Thank you!" She hollers after the retreating waitress, She also quickly sweeps the crumbs off the table and onto the floor when she thinks no one is looking, "Hey," she yells over to her friends, "I got some nachos over here! Get'em while you can!"
"Who wants nachos, I want nachos, yes I do, Yes I do!" Karrin begins singing to the tune of Frère Jacques as she starts working on the pater again. Karrin then grabs a chicken wing, dips it in hottest sauce and pops the entire wing into her mouth! Her singing is replaced by the sound crunching bones . . . Karrin seems un-phased by the sauce, but some of the more dotting or protective of Karrin's friends might wish to alert her of the cloaking hazard!
O.L.L.I wanders back to his friend's table after greeting Thorn. As he approaches, he sees his new friend Karrin happily devouring her own weight in Buffalo wings, bones and all.
"Friend Karrin, this unit is not too familiar with humanoid digestion apparatus, but he had heard it was dangerous to eat poultry bones."
O.L.L.I plops down in the space between Ashura and Karrin
"Friend Ashura you have been quiet, are your functions running optimally?"
Shactal glances over at Thorn. He seems mesmerized by a nearby Tiefling girl in a scanty leather costume dancing to the minstrels performing at the dias.
"Oh fer the love of pain and anguish are yeh gonna roll tha bones?"
Shactal's outburst wakes Eir, who is asleep in a puddle of what she hopes is her own drool on the bar.
"En? Thor's nut-sack, how long did I sleep?"
"En? Thor's nut-sack, how long did I sleep?"
Shactal juggles his dice in an impromtu show of surprising dexterity
"You weren't out too long"
Shactal catches the dice in one claw and points the other claw at Thorn.
"Looks like we've lost Goaty"
Shactal looks at Eir speculatively
"Less you can use yer feminine wiles to lure him back."
Looks back at Thorn.
"Will do."
Eir picks up her overturned mug and cracks it into Thorn's head.
O.L.L.I wanders back to his friend's table after greeting Thorn. As he approaches, he sees his new friend Karrin happily devouring her own weight in Buffalo wings, bones and all.
"Friend Karrin, this unit is not too familiar with humanoid digestion apparatus, but he had heard it was dangerous to eat poultry bones."
<Cough Cough>
"But these are buffalo wings" Karrin says between coughs, "are you saying that a buffalo is a type of bird?"
O.L.L.I finishes the last of his Medium Grade Clockwork Oil
"The cooked animal parts you are ingesting look to be likely a type of vestigial bird wing. This unit would calculate this at a 98.76% probability. This unit has read that mammilian humanoids that ingest bird bones run a high risk of damage due to choking."
“OW!”
Thorn rubs his chipped horn , and turns around with a rather peeved expression, his pride more hurt than anything.
“Hang about luv, I was merely enjoying the sights,” he grumbles. ”… you never know who might be up for a threesome ….”
“Ach, what were the rules again? Iceman got them written down? Do I call something? 16!” He rolls the bones.
“Ah, bugger me with a bludgeon.”
"Friend Ashura you have been quiet, are your functions running optimally?"
“Hmmm? Ya, I’m ok,” replies Ashura, looking up from the small beeping contraption she has been holding in her hand, running her thumb over a series of small depressable panels on it. “Just seeing if there’s anyone else around. Doesn’t look like it – I think I’m really lost … Oh! Buffalo wings!”
Karrin frowns, then reaches into her mouth to pull out bone fragments, and after a minute or so of fishing she thinks the better of it and spits the whole mess out into a napkin.
"Ok, no chicken wings and no buffalo wings. You'd think that with all this magic out there that someone could create a boneless chicken or buffalo. There sure are a lot of things that you can't eat hole! I wonder why gods like to make tasty things so hard to eat? Or why everything that tastes good isn't always so good for you. I wish I could live off of cake. Why do vegetables taste so yucky?"
Karrin grabs another wing and dips it generously in the hot sauce.
"Why is eating so dangerous Olli?" she asks before quickly stripping the meat from the bone with her sharp teeth (getting some of the sauce on her mouth and the tip of her nose in the process).
Shactal scoops up the dice from the table
"Right. Well, I didn't get where I am today by bein' shy. Call 20"
"Heh. Closing in. Two rolls ta go cutters."
Shactal notices his drink is gone again
"Soddin' Heaven! This is a thirsty game."
Shactal signals to Mitchifer to set him up again.
"Why is eating so dangerous Olli?" she asks before quickly stripping the meat from the bone with her sharp teeth (getting some of the sauce on her mouth and the tip of her nose in the process).
"This unit is afraid that is one area where he has scant experience Karrin. This unit as a living construct isn't required to ingest anything other than an occasional pint of oil to maintain optimal functioning. This unit has always found the ingestion of animal parts slightly alarming, but he realizes that humanoids need to do this to survive."
O.L.L.I turns to Ashura
"Perhaps you can hire the services of a Jaunt expert to discover the location of the portal back to your world. Trying to locate a portal on your own can be difficult to accomplish."
"This unit is afraid that is one area where he has scant experience Karrin. This unit as a living construct isn't required to ingest anything other than an occasional pint of oil to maintain optimal functioning. This unit has always found the ingestion of animal parts slightly alarming, but he realizes that humanoids need to do this to survive."
Karrin looks up from meal, by this time her mouth, chin, tip of her nose, and hands are covered in red sauce.
"Why's that?" she asks as her tongue whips around to clean up most of the sauce around her mouth, "animals are tasty. If we don't eat them some other animal would eat them."
O.L.L.I turns to Ashura
"Perhaps you can hire the services of a Jaunt expert to discover the location of the portal back to your world. Trying to locate a portal on your own can be difficult to accomplish."
Karrin initially turns back to her meal when Olli turns back to Ashura but when she hears what Olli is talking about her head snaps up, "-aunt ek-ert?" she asks with a mouth full of nachos.
"Karrins not wants her chick-chicks? I eat thems pleass?" asks the hungry kobold, eying the half-eaten wings on her plate.
"Karrins not wants her chick-chicks? I eat thems pleass?" asks the hungry kobold, eying the half-eaten wings on her plate.
"Sure Mr. Third," Karrin says glancing over at the kobold, "help yourself, though I may have to get some more! These things are tasty and it seems I'm not the only one who thinks so!"
Serpico reaches for the half-eaten bones.
"hmm, warm."
Serpico reaches for the half-eaten bones.
"hmm, warm."
"Careful, a buffalo is a type of bird, and bird bones are dangerous!" Karrin quickly warns Serpico (feeling the need to pass on her newly acquired information), "I don't know if you kobolds can choke on them or not but you best be careful. Bird bones are hollow, almost no good marrow to suck out, and they splinter easily. You seem like a smart guy, so I don't want to tell you something you already knew, but I also I don't want to see anyone choke."
"Buffalo must be a small bird. Taste fine just like chicken." Nods the wizard, showing off a small wing bone.
"Ya," Karrin says nodding, "that's what I thought but I think a buffalo is one of these strange 'outsider' creatures from a fire world cuz' they're so spicy. Here try some of this sauce," Karrin says pouring some of the less spicy sauce on the plate with the bones, "it's really really good!"
"-aunt ek-ert?" she asks with a mouth full of nachos.
"Yes. A Jaunt expert is basically a being that has dedicated its' effort into mastering the functioning of the various portals that tunnel the substructure of the multiverse. Many of them are very knowlegeable about portals to Prime Material realms. This unit knows a scholar in Sigil named Tripicus who specializes in Prime Material realms; when this unit returns to Sigil he will ask about your home realm of Oerth."
Sharinda's small form waltzes up to the crowded table. Taking in the ravenous customers, she pauses.
"You cutters need anything else? More wings? Nachos? We have some nice lamb chops fer the special today if yer hungry fer more than appetizers."
Sharinda takes in the empty mugs
"Anyone need a fresh drink?"
"Sorss hot. I like buffalo. Never heard off planes buffalo. Not fire planes."
Looks at the serving girl. "No thankss. This is goo."
"Yes. A Jaunt expert is basically a being that has dedicated its' effort into mastering the functioning of the various portals that tunnel the substructure of the multiverse. Many of them are very knowlegeable about portals to Prime Material realms. This unit knows a scholar in Sigil named Tripicus who specializes in Prime Material realms; when this unit returns to Sigil he will ask about your home realm of Oerth."
"Yay!" Karrin says clapping her hands, "Thank you Olli, if I can get home I'd like to introduce you to my father. I think he'd like you."
Sharinda's small form waltzes up to the crowded table. Taking in the ravenous customers, she pauses.
"You cutters need anything else? More wings? Nachos? We have some nice lamb chops fer the special today if yer hungry fer more than appetizers."
Sharinda takes in the empty mugs
"Anyone need a fresh drink?"
"Ya! Grog me! Also bring some lamb chops, three or four, plus the fixens, you know the greens and potato with gravy, oh, and another plate of nachos, some curly fries if you got them, and another two orders of wings with the spicy sauce!" Karrin glances around at her companions, "Anyone else want something? I'm getting a bit hungry after this we should all go out for dinner!"
Sharinda scribbles furiously
"Allright luv, that's lamb chops, mashed potatoes, and green beans fer the dinner. Also two more wing orders, cheesy nachos and curly fries with Efreeti's Tears on the side. Also one mug of grog. Anyone else?"
O.L.L.I raises his hand
"Another Clockwork Medium Grade Oil if you would be so kind."
Karrin continues shoveling food in her mouth as the others give their orders. She polishes off the nachos while the waitress is there. Her tummy growls loudly and Karrin licks the grease, cheese, and hot sauce off her fingers, and then pats her belly as if to say "soon my pet, soon . . ."
"I'm getting kinda hungry actually, better bump that mug up to a pitcher, and make those chops full platers plz . . . oh and bring some bread and butter, one loaf?" Karrin asks the table, as if to see if anyone else is going to want some, "oh and some water and some pickles maybe some mustard . . ." Karrin snatches up the wedge of cheese and somehow manages to jam the entire thing into her mouth, "an moor -eese -ez."
Watching Karrin eat is a bit like watching a python swallowing a full grown gazelle, except Karrin can't unhinge her jaw, and she normally chews her food first.
"Eggss. Raw eggss."
Serpico looks around to see who is going to snatch food away from him. But not this time.
"And, and fire water. Men drinks fire water. Whatever that is." He adds proudly.
"I'm getting kinda hungry actually, better bump that mug up to a pitcher, and make those chops full platers plz . . . oh and bring some bread and butter, one loaf?" Karrin asks the table, as if to see if anyone else is going to want some, "oh and some water and some pickles maybe some mustard . . ." Karrin snatches up the wedge of cheese and somehow manages to jam the entire thing into her mouth, "an moor -eese -ez."
Sharinda's quill flies frantically over her foolscap.
"Eggss. Raw eggss."
Serpico looks around to see who is going to snatch food away from him. But not this time.
"And, and fire water. Men drinks fire water. Whatever that is." He adds proudly.
Sharinda finishes writing up the order.
"Right. Pitcher of grog, extra large lamb chop platter, loaf of bread, crock of butter, pickles, mustard, more Kirgalian Blue, Grain Alcohol and some raw eggs. Also a Medium Grade Clockwork Oil and the appetizers you wanted."
Sharinda looks up, plants her fists on her ample hips and looks around the table
"I'm gon'ta need ta see some jink to settle up the tab so far cutters."
"I'm gon'ta need ta see some jink to settle up the tab so far cutters."
"Allow this unit to make restitution on the balance noble server."
O.L.L.I rummages through a small pouch on his bandoleer, emerging with a handful of gear-shaped gold coins
"Please keep whatever is extra as a token of your dedicated service."
"Oh!" Karrin says reaching into her coin purse, "do you know someone named 'Spiral Hal'oigt' of the 'Planar Trade Consortium'?"
“Is it my go again?” asks Thorn, clearly not keeping up with the game. “I call twenty!”
“Mmmm, I’m watching my weight…” says Ashura, touching her tiny waist. “But I’ll scrounge some of your fries if that’s ok Karrin. You’re so lucky, you can eat so much and you have a great figure!”
“Mmmm, I’m watching my weight…” says Ashura, touching her tiny waist. “But I’ll scrounge some of your fries if that’s ok Karrin. You’re so lucky, you can eat so much and you have a great figure!”
"Father says it's cuz I'm a growing girl, and Torreen said it was cuz I have a high metabolism. It's like how I can lift like 400lbs and still be really fast and stuff. But I got to eat like four or five times a day or else I get kinda light headed and stuff. Or I got to eat a couple of big meals every day. Like once I ate a whole ham . . . well not the bone . . . but all the meat. I normally don't eat this much but I do get hungry waiting and I've been waiting a while now."
Sharinda looks up, plants her fists on her ample hips and looks around the table"I'm gon'ta need ta see some jink to settle up the tab so far cutters."
"Ya, Shortey. Yer kinda cute. Have ya got a little gnome in ya? ... No? Wuddya like one? ... hehehhe."
"Ya, Shortey. Yer kinda cute. Have ya got a little gnome in ya? ... No? Wuddya like one? ... hehehhe."
"Eeewww."
"What's that thing?"
"Oh!" Karrin says reaching into her coin purse, "do you know someone named 'Spiral Hal'oigt' of the 'Planar Trade Consortium'?"
O.L.L.I looks up at the mention of Spiral.
"This unit has heard of the being called Spiral Karrin."
"Ya, Shortey. Yer kinda cute. Have ya got a little gnome in ya? ... No? Wuddya like one? ... hehehhe."
Sharinda turns to see a scruffy little unwashed gnome standing behind her with a case of halitosis that could murder a Vrock at 50 feet.
"Oi! Like I need pesterin' from the likes a' yeh while I'm workin'!"
Sharinda rounds on Smokey, her jolly face clouding and fire dancing in her violet-colored eyes.
"Yeh need a drink yeh orders one nicely. Yeh wanna get cute wi' me I gots a nice friend named Phoebus over there might have a word wi' ye."
Sharinda points to the crowded bar, where a large lizardman sits, scanning the crowd while drinking what looks to be water. The lizardman is dressed in very smart-looking gear, and carries several strange and potent-looing artifacts about his person.
"So what's yer poison, berk?" Sharinda inquires sweetly
"So what's yer poison, berk?" Sharinda inquires sweetly
"Ya serve poison? I thinks this is my kinda place. I'll take the vilest, gutrotting, cowspew that ya've got and keep it coming," says Smokey leering.
"Ya, Shortey. Yer kinda cute. Have ya got a little gnome in ya? ... No? Wuddya like one? ... hehehhe."
Karrin scratches her head . . . clearly struggling to understand the rude comment.
"Eeewww."
"What's that thing?"
"Maybe an effeminate dwarf?" Karrin says with a shrug, "he's kinda small though . . . there are all sorts of creatures on the outer plains though, you know I never met another tiefling till I came here? Well I guess they're all over the place! I mean there's even one on the stage there," Karrin says pointing at the dancing girl, "but I'm guessing that's a good thing because most of the tieflings I've met aren't very nice."
O.L.L.I looks up at the mention of Spiral."This unit has heard of the being called Spiral Karrin."
Karrin turns back to Olli.
"Oh, that's who I work for," Karrin says to Olli, "they seemed to think that they were kinda a big deal or something, powerful I guess, and I'm supposed to wait here for instructions, so I was thinking that I should charge some of my food and drink to them, cuz they're making me wait and stuff. If I wrack up a huge tab then they might hurry with those instructions!
"So I was going to ask the serving lady here if I could open a tab, I mean otherwise they're asking me to provide my own room and board, which is their responsibility if I'm on retainer for them. I mean I gotta pay if I'm between employers, but they're asking me to say here, so I figure they should pick up some of the expenses. I gotta pay for drinks but they should pay for food."
“Is it my go again?” asks Thorn, clearly not keeping up with the game. “I call twenty!”
This is Eir's last throw.
"Calling a 10"
"That's 60 old frosty."
"Ya serve poison? I thinks this is my kinda place. I'll take the vilest, gutrotting, cowspew that ya've got and keep it coming," says Smokey leering.
"I've got just tha thing fer yeh. Be right back with yer food folks."
Sharinda hustles off towards the kitchens