Conan The Barbarian: The Ten Word Game


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Settlers, Pictish Backgammon, Zingara Stratego, Argos Connect Four, Hungry Keshan Hippos,

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and the ever popular Cimmeropoly. These games offered Conan a

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chance to have some good old fashioned family fun with

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Sonja, something which made Thoth Amon extremely jealous. "Damn that

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wench! And damn all those yellow and purple tigers too!

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Not to mention those "men" who cry when they lose."

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And those foolish tiger men, who mock the great Alligator

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which is well known for crying when Conan bends it


around his knee. Conan had to layoff his staff today.


The day drew to it's end, and Conan decided to

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go forth and conquer some poor bastard whom he had


Heard had a stash of pristine X-Men comics upstairs in

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a secret attic chamber. "By thrice damned Set", declared Conan

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when he saw somebody had beaten him to

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the attic. "I wanted #143, where Kitty Pride fought alone

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against hordes of neverending foes, rending left and right with


with extended claws." Then added, "#144 sucked, because Nina fell

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off the roof of the X-mansion, breaking her leg and


bruising a rib. Elsewhere, Conan's foes made landfall. Ten stout

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Picts, each carrying a wickedly curved sword strapped to his


Magic(tm) Decks. These Picts meant business when it came to


hunting men down. Shazar, the leader, can flick a card

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through good Aesir chain mail and sever a man's thorax

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with very little effort. The Pictish shaman was known to

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deal the best cards only when utterly drunk, this was

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known as "Dirty Pictish" in the nomenclature of Aquilonian Holdem

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and Foldem. Somehow, Conan silently vowed to himself, there would


be no trickery, nor sneaks, at tonight's Strip-the-Pict-of-Skin game. "I

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will split the skull of the first camel to try


pull and ace out of my ass. Wait, did I

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just agree to rob the Tower of the Camel?" Never


rob a camel, they're mean and they bite really hard!

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Thoth Amon disagreed with Conan about the necessity of robbing


a cult whose main form of revenue was


recycled colostomy bags. Conan wept. Thoth Amon snickered

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at the barbarians sorrow. "This is why you can never


launch a business enterprise with choatic good characters. They just

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don't understand the intricacies of finance and advertising." Conan resented


being stereo-typed. He was good at chess, and liked woman's

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clothing, especially the silk stuff. It always made him feel

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more confident when he began negotiations with the Amazon tribal

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field hockey team. Everyone had to wear matching uniforms consisting


short, above the knee, woolen jersey, and a two-handed battle-axe.

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Lost in reverie, the thick-armed barbarian was caught unprepared ...


One field hockey girl sprang onto his back. Her legs

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formed a rare, yet deadly choke hold around his sweaty


neck and she was strong enough to cause him to


act or be choked out. With each hand he locked


to an ankle, and pried her firm, supple legs apart.


He reveled in the glory of her crotch. He wondered

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