in a red velvet teddy named Greedy Greeb.
Who would have know Greedo was going to
shoot first? Greedy Greeb sure didn't. She was
just the person who would know Greedo's sexual
interests went from the odd to the downright
quizzical! Greeedo wound up getting himself into a
rather disreputable-smelling chicken costume that he found
in the smugglers hatch of his ship: The
Pleasure Myself Alone Room. He hoped nobody heard
how much he panted as he struggled with
the cellophane wrapping which had been used to
smuggle people in stasis before carbonite dipping was
in vogue. Desperately, he then tried to use
an electrical chord, tinfoil, and long strip of
plastic wrap to disguise himself as Mel Gibson
It worked. Now, the leather bar studs gyrated
fiercely, but that wasn't going to stop him
from pulling out his blaster and busting a
move on some wretched hive of scum and
taking all their bank, giving it to Jabba,
then jumping down into a pit filled with
snakes. "Why'd it hafta be snakes?" Han wondered,
"And why do I dislike them so." Leia
was getting all worked up over Luke, unfortunately
they were related, and so their unrequited feelings
bubbled up into a mass of sexual tension
laced with the taboo of princess-on-farmhand
Hot midichlorian-fueled lust in the Tatooinian sands
surrounded by endless fields of bantha poodoo. Mos
Buford, where the good old boys went to
pretend they were hanging with wretched scum and
some of those big-headed musician guys with
the funky musical instruments and cool outfits. Han
loosened his blaster in its holster, then turned
to Luke. "Kid," he said in a gruff
manner, "I've flown from one end of this
driveway to the other. I'm a very good
driver, but Judge Tarkin is on, and I
wanna catch this episode. It's called "The Jawa
cannibal strip club" where the sith left great
tips, but a sandperson stole them from the
jar and used them to fund a Bantha
circumcision ceremony. They would hire the Cantina Band
to play Greensleeves while the bris commenced. Banthas
were led in on chains by Sand People
who took sadistic pleasure in these ceremonies. Meanwhile
R2D2 had discovered a hole in the wall
that led to a secret jawa control room
where the creepy little scavengers held grand parties
and drank camel spit. R2D2 into the narrow
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