So my wife google messages me in a panic tonight about our son having fallen off the bed, to which I call back on her cell in a panic. He’s four months old, and has discovered the joy of crawling over things. When she went downstairs to make him a bottle, he scampered right over the pillow blockade she created, and launched himself off our bed (he has a gorgeous crib built by her stepfather, but it’s too low for her since her pelvis is screwed from birthing our giant child). Rushing back upstairs after hearing the thump / screaming, she discovered him not in tiny mangled pieces, but trapped between the side of the bed and my waist high (I’m just shy of 6’) pile of D&D books (not bad really, holding up an 18 lb. child).
Morals of this story:
My son has awesome saving throws.
We’re terrible parents.
D&D, good for infants too!
Wow, I'm glad I'm not the only terrible parent here.
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Hello, CPS?
Yes?
Yes.
That's right, I would.
Hmmm.
Ummm-hmm.
Unbelievable. Yes.
Oh, yes. His name is Vissigoth.
That's right. V-I-S-S-I-G-O-T-H.
I think--what's that?
Yes, yes, that's right. Umm, no he doesn't have a last name. No, I don't think so.
Well--
Hmm?
He lives on the Internets.
Uh-huh. That's right.
Yes, umm, he's some kind of rock-like creature.
Yes.
Hello?
Hello--
Hello? Is anyone there?
Umm... Hello-Hello!
Hello?
My toddler has a sweet-spot above her left eye. She has had so many bumps there, including a doozy of a hematoma, that she now has a permanent lump.
Then there was the time, when she was 18 months, that she cruised off a ledge in our bi-level apt. and had to go in for stitches. Nothing like holding your screaming kid down while they sew her up.
The kid has no fear, last month we found her sitting on top of the dvd player, which is on a shelf above the TV, and climbing up there was a serious feat of dexterity, at least a DC 15 climb roll for a tiny creature. Had she fallen it would have been worse than the living room stage dive stitches.
...trapped between the side of the bed and my waist high (I’m just shy of 6’) pile of D&D books...
Could 4e have done that? I think not!
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32
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My toddler has a sweet-spot above her left eye. She has had so many bumps there, including a doozy of a hematoma, that she now has a permanent lump.
Then there was the time, when she was 18 months, that she cruised off a ledge in our bi-level apt. and had to go in for stitches. Nothing like holding your screaming kid down while they sew her up.
The kid has no fear, last month we found her sitting on top of the dvd player, which is on a shelf above the TV, and climbing up there was a serious feat of dexterity, at least a DC 15 climb roll for a tiny creature. Had she fallen it would have been worse than the living room stage dive stitches.
My 18 month old has tripped while running twice and gone into the door frame both times in exactly the same spot.
First time was a rush straight to the emergency room because it came up in a massive bruise and lump immediately. Had the lump/bruise for a couple of weeks and the lump was still there when she did it again (this time at her Aunt and Uncle's house) while running aound with her Cousins. Second time she actually split her forehead open (so no bruise), but still a massive lump back again. She still has a scar there after a month which is slowly disappearing.She is also a climbing little daredevil who found that if she pushed her toy house up against the bookshelf she could get her books (which, after watching this occur several times, prompted the books to be moved to a lower shelf and the toys up a shelf). Thankfully this hasn't happened again which I suppose means that we've taught her well, when she wants books over toys =)
She also loves nothing better than to climb up onto the bed/lounge and proceed to jump up and down for all she's worth yelling "jump, jump, jump", with her back to the polished floorboards.
I swear she is going to be a sky diving/base jumping/rock climbing/insert other daredevil extreme sport here when she grows up.
Hello, CPS?
Yes?
Yes.
That's right, I would.
Hmmm.
Ummm-hmm.
Unbelievable. Yes.
Oh, yes. His name is Vissigoth.
That's right. V-I-S-S-I-G-O-T-H.
I think--what's that?
Yes, yes, that's right. Umm, no he doesn't have a last name. No, I don't think so.
Well--
Hmm?
He lives on the Internets.
Uh-huh. That's right.
Yes, umm, he's some kind of rock-like creature.
Yes.
Hello?
Hello--
Hello? Is anyone there?
Umm... Hello-Hello!
Hello?
This one made me wet myself laughing. Thanks.
Thanks for all the positive reinforcement; mom feels much better now (though refuses to leave him alone for any length of time)! Still, I can't help but think somehow he'll be traumatized by us one way or another.
Second time she actually split her forehead open (so no bruise), but still a massive lump back again.
Three rounds of stiches (twice in the same spot on the peak of my forehead), and I have had two bald spots since the third grade (ish). Hopefully she fares better!
Sweet! I have 20lbs 4 month old boy so I fully understand! Maybe I can use your tale to convince my wife to let me leave my book out...probably not.
Hah, we had this conversation this morning, actually. Something like, you know, you never have said anything about that pile. Glad it's there now. Apparently it doesn't bother her. Gogo gamer-wife!
My husband's (TRUE) story:
He was a toddler, and had just discovered the joy of running. In the house he grew up in, he discovered he could make a continuous loop through 3 connected rooms (living room, kitchen, dining room). His mom yelled at him to stop running, but he ignored her.
As he made the circle into the living room, he tripped on the edge of the carpet and came down, chin-first, on the edge of the coffee table. He broke the coffee table. He got in trouble.
His mom went and bought an identical coffee table and put it in the exact same spot in the living room.
He ran around the house again. His mom yelled at him to stop. He entered the living room, tripped on the edge of the carpet, and came down, chin-first, on the edge of the coffee table. He broke the coffee table (again). He got in trouble (again).
His mom learned the lesson. She went out and bought a Cast Iron coffee table and put it in the same place.
The next time he ran around the house, he tripped on the edge of the carpet, and came down chin-first on the edge of the coffee table. He still has a scar on his chin from this event. But he also chipped a piece from the Cast Iron coffee table.
Morals of this story:
Non-gamers can be bad parents too.
Kids survive bad parents - and can even have a sense of humor about it.
My husband is some sort of melee type (good Fortitude, not-so-good Reflex saves).
My husband has some level of DR/Cast Iron.
Reading this i think every parent and kiddo ofcourse have been through this.
Our now 2 year ol daughter fell from the stairs when she was about 1,5 year.
The scars on her forehead are luckily fading too.
Thanks to mommy's ointments (she works in a pharmacy)
but mom had the biggest scars (feelings of guild)
-Snowie-
RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32
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Yeah, I've got a 13-month-old daughter myself and she's seen her fair share of bumps and scrapes already. She's the most hardcore baby I've ever seen, though, because she hardly ever cries when she hurts herself. Sometimes, if it's particularly bad, she'll shriek about it for a minute, but she calms down really fast. My wife and I are both thankful for this fact, because no one likes to hear a wailing infant carry on for half an hour.
I was switched at birth.
Seriously, my mom breastfed some strange child for about 3 hours before figuring it out.
My father would beat me with a bible, but it never did me any h-harm.*
*Fabrication and Kids In the Hall reference.
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All parents have on couple 'bad' encounter, when I was about three I was in one of those seats on the back of a bike and my mother left in it for a second to talk to someone and it tipped over. My entire forehead was a nasty purple bruise for over a week and the yellowish bruise lasted a month.
Flash 23 years later.
My now 4 year old daughter learned to walk when she was 10 months old. In my garage I have some old mattresses on the floor for my climbing wall, well she loved standing on them and jumping and landing on her butt. After about the three bounce she flew forward and landed on the cement floor with her chin. Her two front teeth almost bite completely through her lip so we rushed to the emergency room and about half way there she decided that is wasn't that bad and quit crying. We get there and as we are waiting for the doctor she is running around the ER with blood dribbling out of her mouth laughing and playing Peek-a-boo with the nurses.
This was only one of several injuries she has sustained so don't feel bad wait until you get their first bike and see them crash going about 15 miles an hour, thats scary but they just get back up scrap the dirt out of their cuts and keep going.
That is both hilarious and terrifying.I was switched at birth.
Seriously, my mom breastfed some strange child for about 3 hours before figuring it out.
Same here, if it wasn't for the fact I had hair ...
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When I was four, I somehow managed to fall from a chair (from a sitting position), and chip a piece off of my jawbone. Which punctured the skin. Ow.
As I've aged, the 1.5-inch scar has migrated from just below my lower lip to partway down my neck, causing me to recieve some rather interesting questions from nosy passersby. There's also a slight dent in the side of my chin.
The best part is, the entire incident took place in a crowded restaurant. As my face impacted the tile floor, my mother, oblivious to the rapidly spreading pool of blood, shouted something to the effect of "Get up off the floor, you pansy!" Ahhh, what a loving and caring family I have.
OMG, you guys don't want to get me started on what I did to myself...
But this is a funny story regarding an 'accident prone' child:
When I was 19 I went into the clinic where I had been going all my life, where everyone knew my name, and this is a pretty large clinic in a major Canadian hospital. After signing me in the nurse asked me to wait at the desk for a moment so she could show me something.
So moments later she comes out with this huge stack of paper and throws it on the counter, and explains that they are clearing out the records room and putting stuff in an archive because they will be moving a lot of the info to computers. "And THIS" she says emphatically, is you complete record (it was about 8-9 inches thick, mostly a record of injuries, several of which attracted child services because they thought my parents beat me which they didn't--my parents were awesome).
"It's the heaviest one on the shelf" she finishes.
Apparently I beat out a bunch of people who had been going there for the full 30 years that the clinic had been open by about 3 inches.
~wicked smile~ Well, I have always been stubborn and my Mom should have realized that when I was a kid. When I was young (about 3 or 4), my Mom was pushing me on my tricycle. Well... I wanted to go one way and she was wanting to go another direction. So I put my foot down. Literally. And got my leg broken. ~chuckles~ And thus a pattern had been set for me.
I've had four-wheelers, go-cats, and motorcycles since I was 5. I can't remember (literally) all my stiches, concussions, broken bones, and other random injuries. I'm 22 now and I don't know how I'm alive.
I recently went home from the little brothers birthdays there 3 and 6(we are all born in the same week in July) (huge gape huh?). My parents bought them both small gas powered four-wheelers...The four-wheelers have kill switches on the back that you can tie a rope to, so you can pull it out and it cuts the four-wheeler off (think jet-ski). The 6 year old is flying all over the yard and my dad is walking behind the 3 year old holding the rope as he slowly drives across the yard. The next thing we know the 3 year old guns it...The kill switch cuts the four-wheeler off, but he had so much momentum that he slamed it into the house flipping over the handle bars and plowed into a brick wall. He landed on the ground got up then started crying. He thought he was in trouble...He did care he was beat up and brusied.
Oh my mom was a RN then decided to be an Radiologist...I wonder why. It is neat have a mom that was the person x-raying you.
Fizz
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So my wife google messages me in a panic tonight about our son having fallen off the bed...
If that is the worst thing that ever happens, you'll be lucky. Falling out of bed? I can remember falling down the stairs more times than I can count when I was a child.
...her pelvis is screwed from birthing our giant child.
How big? I was a hospital record at just shy of 12 pounds.
That is both hilarious and terrifying.I was switched at birth.
Seriously, my mom breastfed some strange child for about 3 hours before figuring it out.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm really supposed to be some Hispanic family's baby.
I still have a scar under my bottom lip from when my first tooth broke through my lip when I was an infant.
I slipped on a toy truck when I was really little and broke my leg that way.
As a fat eight year old, I fractured my funny bone by literally falling on it in a parking lot.
Can't count how many times I've almost drowned. Still can't swim.
When I was a toddler, my father took me for a walk near my grandparents' house. He brought me back tucked under his arm with muck up to my eyeballs. My mother said,"What the hell happened?!" Father, not understanding her dismay said,"We walked down to the lake and he wanted to go in there." "So you just let him go?!" Common sense is not a gene passed down through the y chromosome, it turns out.
How big? I was a hospital record at just shy of 12 pounds.
12 has definitely got to be some kind of record, cripes. She's just over 5', and he was 9.6 lbs vaginal birth.
I have fallen down the stairs more than once, tripped every now and then (once losing a tooth), got a concussion after being hit by a car, did get numerous bumps though somehow avoided breaking any bones or any other permanent injury (except lump and almost invisible scar from that car accident). That happens.
My daughter has a nice cresent shaped scar on her cheek.
When she was 6 months old , she's 2 now, she stabbed herself in the face with her own thumbnail in her sleep.
There was dried blood all over her face and bedsheet and she didn't even wake up!!
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My good buddy Alex (AWED on the boards) got his finger stuck in a dishwasher when he was about three. The funny thing is, he didn't really grasp the concept that he was 'bleeding all over the place' and that it wasn't 'good'. Apparently, his sister nearly fainted when she saw his bloody hands.
Also, when we were in the tenth grade, we were at cross-country practice, when Alex suddenly does a bizarre little about-face, running directly into the side of a parked car.
On another note, for some reason, I seem to break bones in wierd places, and under wierd circumstances:
- My nose - sparring with a friend in the dark (2007)
- My right ring finger - playing hockey blindfolded (1998)
- My jawbone - falling out of a chair (1992)
I also nearly avoided breaking my nose when I was about ten. I was riding my bike down an empty, straight road, when for no apparent reason, I veered sharply right and crashed into a mailbox. That was the last time I ever rode a bike.
I once slipped on some stairs and when I woke up I was watching Doc Savage: The Man of Bronze. True story.
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When I was one or so my mom put me on one of those old lawn chairs with the plastic slits in them. Well me being me decided that I wanted down. I fell face first off of it hitting concrete, popped both my front teeth out shoving them into my lower teeth and splitting my chin open. My mother decided that it wasn't to bad so decided to shove my teeth back into where they were and took me to the doctor to have my chin stitched up. Luckily for me my top teeth "took" again but 28 years later I now have a mouth full of braces and will be this way for another year or so. Dreamweavers and I have two little girls. There is never a week that goes by that someone doesn't get hurt or bleed. We figure it makes them stronger after all nobody wants there little girls to be wimps!