I just thought it might be funny to hear some of the ways People use their characters. So here is an example of my own: I have a half-orc who kills monsters by grappling them (+8) with a spiked gauntlet and then punching then in the head with a dagger. It does a minimum of ten damage!
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Not really in-game but along those lines,...
There's a viking story called Egil's Saga about Egil Skallagrimsson; he was a little on the surly side. He carried on a bloodfeud with the king of Norway...
One guy he fought, he held his forearm against their neck, pinning the guy to the wall, and vomited in the guy's face until he drowned.
Well uh, that's really gross.
RPG Superstar 2011 Top 32
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Not really in-game but along those lines,...
There's a viking story called Egil's Saga about Egil Skallagrimsson; he was a little on the surly side. He carried on a bloodfeud with the king of Norway...
One guy he fought, he held his forearm against their neck, pinning the guy to the wall, and vomited in the guy's face until he drowned.
Best. Kill. Ever.
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Also Egil Skallagrimsson...
Egil and a traveling companion hired this guy to row them across a river; he was a crotchety old guy, didn't want to be rowing them across the river, b@%#@ing and moaning about everything, and Egil was trying to hold back his legendary temper the whole time.
So, anyway, they're rowing across this river, and a salmon leaps in the water, and the old guy stands up in the boat to look at the salmon.
So Egil pulls out his sword and chops the old guy in two.
So his friend says, "what'd you do THAT for?"
And Egil says, "well, he was standing just right..."
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I was a mul in Dark Sun. These elves thought that they could charge us for drinking at their oasis.
So I says, "why should we pay for that which the ground gives us all for free?"
So the elf says, "cos it's our oasis."
So I says to the elf, "but we have no money to trade."
And the elf is all, "then you get no water."
So I says, "then I will trade you blood for water."
Everybody there was all, "yeeeeeeeeeeah!"
So we kicked the crap out of the elves, and I dunked one of their heads in the oasis.
I was like talking some Vin Diesel smack there.
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I have a friend who starts every game with, "You wake up, naked and with a horrible hangover, in a small, dingy cell. You are chained to the wall and standing in several years worth of human waste."
Somehow, even with this narrow opening, he always has a different story to tell. On this last one, the entire party was in the same small cell block. I was able to pull the chains out of the wall, and someone else got a guard to come down the corridor. He happened to pause in front of my cell, and I grappled him with the chain. I was trying to pull him through the bars of my cell, if I could, but his skull just wouldn't quite fit.
The person in the next cell was able to get his keys, and opened the lock to my cell before I had him totally dead. So's I held his face down in the "stuff" until he stopped moving. Kinda felt sorry for him, but, then again, he WAS holding us prisoner. Nekkid.
This one is kinda gross.
One of my most favoritest characters has a hook for one of her hands due to an unfortunate accident with a giant scorpion. The party was at the very end of Red Hand of Doom and fighting the BBEG plus minions, including a pair of hot erinyes. During the course of the battle, Anni gives the erinyes ho's (hoes? hos? hoze? hoz?)back alley abortions. And then caught nasty VDs from the devil's icky ickies exploding, cause those broads did not die prettily.
Then she castrated the BBEG.
I love the critical hit deck. >:D
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I've mentioned him before, but one of my favorite villians (who is still out there alive in Greyhawk for me) is a grell named Boush-uth the Connoisseur. He has grown a special strain of memory moss and uses it to absorb memories of people and eats the memory-impregnated obliviax wrapped around slices of the person... thus consuming memories and flesh in one bite. He's quite the fun nut-ball, and he has a crew of Derro flunkies who make the clan from Deliverence look wholesome. But Derro are just like that.
Anyway. Several years ago now, my group of players at the time were exploring the deep below the surface of a ruined castle in Geoff. The Derro were able to separate the players (who managed to be very stupid and split the party) into two groups: one of 5 players who chased after the red herring and 2 who, unfortunately, stayed on task and walked right into the trap. The two a cleric of Celestian and an Enchanter mage, were unprepared for putting up a strong defense and were quickly overpowered. I took the players for these characters into the kitchen and explained their predicament and that the clock was ticking for the rest of the group to save their asses. Well, I may as well have tossed the clock in the wastebasket...would have been much the same effect. The main party took a 'they should have come with us, we'll see if we can find them after Task A is done' attitude.
When the time came, I turned to the two players and told them how they felt the moss pulling memories out of their minds...family, personal histories, triumphs and failures, romances...and being plucked off as the grell used dainty knives to cut off fingers, wrap the moss around them, and toss into it's beaked maw. Deftly the grell cut off an ear, gently popped out an eye, or sliced a hole in the gut to fish around and bring out a kidney or liver, surmount it with a tiny memory moss holding the rememberance of a first kiss, a death of a beloved relative, and chomp down on it. It was beautiful!
Best of all, when the carnage was over, one of the players picked up her dice, rattled them while throwing a venomous look at the party that didn't come to thier rescue, and asked "Can I roll up a Derro thrall?"
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This one is kinda gross.
One of my most favoritest characters has a hook for one of her hands due to an unfortunate accident with a giant scorpion. The party was at the very end of Red Hand of Doom and fighting the BBEG plus minions, including a pair of hot erinyes. During the course of the battle, Anni gives the erinyes ho's (hoes? hos? hoze? hoz?)back alley abortions. And then caught nasty VDs from the devil's icky ickies exploding, cause those broads did not die prettily.
Then she castrated the BBEG.
I love the critical hit deck. >:D
Those things are in the critical hit deck??
Are you using the Critical Hit Deck of Vile Darkness? :-P
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In our AoW campaign, my half orc fighter/cleric of kord got disarmed by one of a pair of drow in the sewers. I bullrushed one of them off of the platform they stood on (for a nice fall) while a fellow party member killed the other with a spell. I took that dead corpse and threw it at the one I had bullrushed, doing further damage. Didn't kill him, but it was cool.
Well, ever see the willy wonka movie where one of the kids get filled with stuff and turn into a ball or Big Trouble in Little China where the bad guy demon gets full of steam and pumps up until he explodes? well, I had a mage work on a spell that fills a person full of shadow stuff and blows them up like a ballon; really adds a bonus to your intimidate when a guy is all blown up with his little feet arms and head sticking out and you pull out your dagger and make some threats hehe, as the amount you get inflated is based on level; a moderate level mage can explode a small creature and a higher level mage can explode a medium creature and so on. I thought this was a pretty cool and extreme death.
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I played this game call Rolemaster (i.e. chartmaster) for a very short time. The one and only time I played and the first battle I was in I was playing a warrior, well on my first swing I rolled a critical failure and if you know the game you know the critical charts are unforgivable, well anyway i seemed to have sliped and almost severed my leg and for the rest of the battle I laid on the ground and bled to death.
So that is my best kill... myself!!..
Always wanted to see those charts used with a Vorpal..
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My brother ran a campaign years ago, I think it was 2E (possibly 1E) in which he allowed the characters to participate in an arena tournament.
One of the PCs wanted to keep going back to the arena after the tournament was over. He was a dwarf with a belt of giant strength, gauntlets of ogre power, and a dwarven throwing hammer.
My brother agreed to let him fight in the tournament again, but since he had nothing prepared, he said he would open the MM and the dwarf would fight whatever was on the page. It turned out to be a white dragon.
Well it was a long brutal fight, and the dwarf was in rough shape when the dragon picked him up, flew 100' in the air and dropped him. The player asked if he could get in one last throw with his hammer as he fell, because he knew he was going to die. The DM allowed it.
It was, of course a critical, killing the dragon.
Then the falling damge was rolled, and came up almost all 1s. The player hit the ground with 2 hp left.
The DM said "There's a dragon in the air above you, but it has a lot of forward momentum. I'd say there's only a 1 in 20 chance that it will land on top of you." and threw a d20 into the middle of the table.
'1'
My favourite PC death ever.
I played this game call Rolemaster (i.e. chartmaster) for a very short time. The one and only time I played and the first battle I was in I was playing a warrior, well on my first swing I rolled a critical failure and if you know the game you know the critical charts are unforgivable, well anyway i seemed to have sliped and almost severed my leg and for the rest of the battle I laid on the ground and bled to death.
So that is my best kill... myself!!..
Always wanted to see those charts used with a Vorpal..
hehe, were you distracted by an imaginary turtle? that is really on those charts; one I used to do was swing so bad that your opponent starts laughing at you, get +20 to your next swing.
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Contributor
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hehe, were you distracted by an imaginary turtle? that is really on those charts; one I used to do was swing so bad that your opponent starts laughing at you, get +20 to your next swing.I played this game call Rolemaster (i.e. chartmaster) for a very short time. The one and only time I played and the first battle I was in I was playing a warrior, well on my first swing I rolled a critical failure and if you know the game you know the critical charts are unforgivable, well anyway i seemed to have sliped and almost severed my leg and for the rest of the battle I laid on the ground and bled to death.
So that is my best kill... myself!!..
Always wanted to see those charts used with a Vorpal..
A friend of mine played an archer in RoleMaster; cut off his own ear with his bowsting twice and then swallowed his tongue in the excitement, all in a single fight.
This one is kinda gross.
One of my most favoritest characters has a hook for one of her hands due to an unfortunate accident with a giant scorpion. The party was at the very end of Red Hand of Doom and fighting the BBEG plus minions, including a pair of hot erinyes. During the course of the battle, Anni gives the erinyes ho's (hoes? hos? hoze? hoz?)back alley abortions. And then caught nasty VDs from the devil's icky ickies exploding, cause those broads did not die prettily.
Then she castrated the BBEG.
I love the critical hit deck. >:D
Those things are in the critical hit deck??
Are you using the Critical Hit Deck of Vile Darkness? :-P
Well, erm, not exactly. We like to personaize the hits to the battle and the character. And Anni really hated those people. And the DM is a sick sick man. ^^;
Just last night, I pulled off what is, for me, the coolest thing I've ever done.
The party is 4th level. We're in a courtyard fighting a ton of drow (in the daylight, but they had apparently adapted to the surface conditions) and some ogre slaves. Amongst them was a drow child whose eyes would flash on his round and some nasty spell effect would be produced in an odd manner. Turns out this was just an illusion produced by a drow mage flying invisibly above us.
So, we mop up everything else in the courtyard, except this mage who is finally revealed. Two party members are cut off from myself and an NPC by a web spell; the drow is 40 feet up, almost directly over my character's head. No one in this party is particularly adept at ranged combat (an orc barbarian, a human TWFing rogue, and myself, a half-orc cleric of Kord).
The wizard is about out of spells, but dropping beads from a necklace of fireballs, and the NPC (a cleric of Heironeous) are almost out of healing and definitely out of any good options for fighting at range.
So, the suggestion comes up, "You might as well throw your greatsword." (Being a good priest of Kord, I had taken the proficiency).
"You know what?" I said, "I think I'm going to do that, because there's nothing better to do."
So, I would be hurling a greatsword, range increment of 10 feet in this case, 40 feet in the air for a -8 range penalty. Additionally, I was taking a -4 penalty for effective non-proficiency. I have only 10 Dex and a +3 BAB, and the sword is masterwork.
So, all told, I've got a whopping -8 modifier to the roll when I finally let the dice fly.
Natural 20.
Natural 20.Did you confirm the crit, too? ;)
I can't remember now, there was so much excitement. Plus, by activating the power from my Strength domain, I had 20 Str. We already knew the wizards had very little hp, and this guy had been grazed by an arrow once.
Just 10 minutes earlier I had used the Luck domain to turn a 1 on a save into a 20. It was my night for d20 rolls; not so good for staying conscious (got knocked into negatives about four times).
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Ready for mine?
I'm playing a sorcerer who has max ranks in Bluff and is basically the party's 'front man' owing to my high Charisma (24). The party was all 15th level and we were supposed to find this powerful gem tainted with demonic energy and bring it to a cleric to be destroyed. During the course of our search for this item, we start learning that the cleric may be trying to trick us and begin to question his motives. When we finally find the gem, we learn (via divination) that it is actually the trapped essence of a celestial being and that destroying it would free an ancient demon lord (which is exactly what the cleric wanted to do).
So, gem in hand, we return to the cleric. We know his plan and we see right through his lies. However, he does not see through mine. When he asks for the gem, I hand it to him... but what he DOESN'T know is that what I've ACTUALLY handed him is a Sudden Silent, Sudden Stilled, delayed blast fireball. The cleric gleefully takes it to his altar and raises his mighty adamantine warhammer high right before us. The entire party took a step back in unison as the hammer came down and thoroughly obliterated said cleric.
Natural 20.
I bet Kord smiled at that! And it also reminds me of another half orc cleric/fighter of Kord that was in Shackled City who liked to hug people to death.
I once let my players hit a guy one mile away with a stone, as long as they rolled a natural 20. They did. Only knocked him out, because I really like that NPC (but they don't, hence the stone).
A full-plate wearing fighter once destroyed a skeleton by running into it and crushing it against a wall.
Once, a player was trapped inside an iron maiden, but still had just enough hit points left to survive. He couldn't wait to be rescued, so he tried to free himself, taking enough damage in the process that when we opened it up his body flumped out. We made him a zombie.
I read a story where someone had such a high Bluff check that they convinced an NPC to cover himself in oil, which they had him believe was a powerful magical cologne, activated by fire. He runs outside shouting "Here I come, ladies!" before setting himself alight.
My sister was running a 3rd level fighter who kept rolling twenties(and then would roll like a 28 upon confirmation)on some weak orcs with 4 hit points then would do somewhere around 36 damage. Orc chowder.
I remember a few examples from a dragon article beck near the end of 2e.
A player group had a member that insisted on playing an anti-paladin and would betray the party without fail every session. One night the rest of the party got fed up enough that they killed him. They then used up the charges from a rod of ressurection to bring him back again and again so every member of the party could say they had killed him.
They only let the player join the next session after extracting a promise from him that he would not play an anti-paladin ever again.
Next session what does the rest of the party see? A figure in Black spikey armor riding a black horse wearing what else? Black spikey barding. The parties mage promptly cast boulder to pebble on a house sized rock. He then handed the resulting pebble to the halfling rogue who used his sling to send it at the figure riding toward them.
When the pebble reached the problem players Anti-paladin (yes the player lied) it promptly returned to the size of a house squashing him and his horse completly flat.(For those of you that didn't play 2e an anti-paladin has an anti magic aura instead of aura of despair)
When the player gloated "That's ok I have a ring of regeneration."
The rest of the group checked with the DM and responded, "That's fine it will take you 80 years of game time to dig your pulp out from under that boulder."
Heh, we have a player like that. any time you try to interact with her character she tries to bite, kick, stab etc...
BUMP!
My new campaign starts on Saturday. I hope something interesting crops up as far as player or enemy deaths.
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I was playing in a high-level game and the girl next to me was playing an archmage. At some point we came into a long hallway with a bunch of low-level warriors charging at us. The archmage cast some kind of wave of exhaustion, or perhaps a chained strength-draining spell. Anyway, the entire band of warriors flops to the floor, without the strength to move. My cleric remarks that it'll take awhile to Coup-de-Grace them all. So the archmage followed it with a Fire Spiders spell, Energy-substituted to electricity. I could only marvel as a couple dozen paralyzed foes died by sparking vermin crawling on them, taking one point of damage per round.
I eventually married that girl.
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In AoW (EaBK), my cleric / binder (in banded mail) made a jump check to reach up and grab a harpy flying overhead. The other PCs beat it to death with a stick. Another harpy was taken out by my cleric jumping off of a ledge and crushing it.
The same character once rolled a critical on one of the Tiefling guards in TFoE with a thrown dagger. We use a critical hit table. Effect: decapitation.
Also, Paizo's very own Corvin Killgannon is a fighter that kills by pummeling his enemy to death. Another Paizo regular, Brick, killed a Sahuagin by catching it under the chin with a club, snapping its neck and flipping it over the side of the boat.
Years ago, I was DMing a Ravenloft campaign, and my players were in Schloss Mordenheim, having just entered the domain. While guests of Victor Mordenheim, they were allowed to investigate the manor, though he warned them to be careful and to stay out of the lab.
Naturally, they went into the lab.
I went into a lengthy, detailed description of the books, specimen jars, and vials of chemicals engaged in an active experiment. One of my players asks "Is that poison?" Another character, having made a successful Herbalism/Healing roll (2E), replied with "That is definitely not poison."
So the character immediately grabs a vial and drinks it down, expecting some kind of magical result. I hid a grin as I described how the acid he'd just consumed ate its way through his neck, spilling out on to his chest before he collapsed over, dead.
The moral of the story was "Don't drink strange things you find in a mad scientist's laboratory."
Just last night, I pulled off what is, for me, the coolest thing I've ever done.
The party is 4th level. We're in a courtyard fighting a ton of drow (in the daylight, but they had apparently adapted to the surface conditions) and some ogre slaves. Amongst them was a drow child whose eyes would flash on his round and some nasty spell effect would be produced in an odd manner. Turns out this was just an illusion produced by a drow mage flying invisibly above us.
So, we mop up everything else in the courtyard, except this mage who is finally revealed. Two party members are cut off from myself and an NPC by a web spell; the drow is 40 feet up, almost directly over my character's head. No one in this party is particularly adept at ranged combat (an orc barbarian, a human TWFing rogue, and myself, a half-orc cleric of Kord).
The wizard is about out of spells, but dropping beads from a necklace of fireballs, and the NPC (a cleric of Heironeous) are almost out of healing and definitely out of any good options for fighting at range.
So, the suggestion comes up, "You might as well throw your greatsword." (Being a good priest of Kord, I had taken the proficiency).
"You know what?" I said, "I think I'm going to do that, because there's nothing better to do."
So, I would be hurling a greatsword, range increment of 10 feet in this case, 40 feet in the air for a -8 range penalty. Additionally, I was taking a -4 penalty for effective non-proficiency. I have only 10 Dex and a +3 BAB, and the sword is masterwork.
So, all told, I've got a whopping -8 modifier to the roll when I finally let the dice fly.
Natural 20.
Ironically this happened almost exactly in our campaign about a year ago. I was shocked when I read this. Same drow mage invisible and flying, we were down to my character a fighter/cleric bow specialist and a NPC fighter. The drow had protection from arrows cast but was out of spells and was using a wand of scorching ray. Since my arrows were not hurting him I was using my healing to counter the ray attacks. Without a healing wand of my own we were in bad shape. The NPC fighter threw their greatsword and scored a critical hit. We were in the 9th to 11th level range.
My mul gladiator in our Dark Sun campaign would raise his defeated enemies above his head, wait for the sorcerer-king's verdict (almost always death) then drop their bodies across his knee cracking their back in the process. Thri-kreen were exceptionally noisy and a crowd favorite.
Once in second edition there was an NPC who had a belt of fire giant strength, gauntlets of ogre power and a hammer of thunderbolts. In an arguement a PC called his girlfriend a b!%+~, then realized he was present and always of ill-temperment. The PC ran and a critical hit was scored on the throw we were using the Best of Dragon Volume 5 critical hit chart at the time and x3 came up. The damage was in excess of 100 point and 3 times the character's max hp. The DM ruled his body exploded sending body parts everywhere.
Using the same critical hit chart the character fought Rikus in Dark Sun and cut off his hand at the wrist, then at the elbow, and then the shoulder. He won the fight and achieved instant stardom. Today he is semi-retired but the red d20 is reserved solely for his fights.
Just as a side note, I was thinking of someone happening onto the site that doesn't know much about RPGs, and then reads the title of this thread. Ah . . . good times.
Kind of different from the other stories, but the most memorable character death by my hand as DM (other than in my first ever campaign, where Erik the Monk's famous last words of "Come on, guys, we can take them!" are forever burned in my mind) was in the Whispering Cairn.
The party was on their way to the true tomb and the wind warriors popped up out of that big central shaft. The group's rogue/monk (the party is 3rd level, as most AoW players know) charges up to the wind warrior and strikes for craptacular effect.
This angered the hexblade of the group, who then had his line of charging blocked. So, the hex's player is sitting there going, "Way to go. You, a horribly ineffective combatant, have just blocked me and my +1 greataxe from doing anything useful. Thanks."
"Nah, it'll be fine," says the rogue/monk's player (the same player who had the aforementioned Erik, by the way). "I'll just tumble around behind him next turn."
"No," says the hexblade's player, "You need to back off and just throw alchemist's fires or something. You're going to get killed up there."
"No, no," is the reply. Now, this character had been falling down in combats a lot so far in the campgain, but always managed to survive the fight by some miracle of luck. So, his attitude wasn't totally unwarranted.
So, the rogue/monk takes a nasty hit from the wind warriors, and is not looking so good on his next turn. He decides to tumble around them.
But he rolls a 3.
"Way to go. What did I tell you?" smirks the hexblade.
He was on the edge of the platform when hit, so I asked for a Reflex save to avoid falling off. It was really simple, DC 12 I think. "I'll be fine," the rogue/monk says.
Another 3.
"Crap."
"Told you."
After the wind warriors died, the party peered down into the darkness, but only the dwarf could see all the way to the broken body of the rogue/monk on the stone floor below.
The kicker was that I had missed a bit of my notes and forgotten to hand out the ring of feather falling found in the first part of the adventure!
My players are fond of falling into spiked pit traps, but I would like to spatter them all across several planes of existace by not telling them that that item they're putting in their bag of holding contains extradimensional space. Hee hee.
Also, one of my characters in a d20Modern campagn died in the following way: We were fighting zombies on this ledge, and I fell off the edge and was knocked unconscious by the fall. A fellow player healed me, and I was able to sit up, but then another one wandered over later having not seen any of that. Beleiving that my character had been bitten, and thus had become a zombie, he shot me in the head. It was too funny to suck.
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...Erik the Monk's famous last words...The first few times I read that, I thought you had written "Erik Mona's famous last words." Understandably, I was confused. :P
Yeah, I did that at first too.
As for kills, I've got a little story:
In my Neverwinter campaign awhile back, the PCs had gained the friendship of a tribe of ogres because they saved their shaman from a demon. The ogres took the PCs back to their cave, offered them a grand feast, and offered them shelter for the night (it was raining). The PCs (a paladin of Mystra and a cleric of Tempus) agreed and followed them to the cave.
When they get there, they discover a pair of orcs, bound and gagged, in the room designated for 'food stuffs.' The paladin breaks out his 'detect evil' and senses evil from one of the two orcs... and almost EVERY OGRE IN THE CAVE. Oops. The ogres were genuine in their offers to the PCs, to be certain, but they were going to be cooking the orcs and eating them. These were not nice people. The PCs decided that, evil or not, being eaten was not a suitable fate for anyone and thus decided to free the orcs and help them escape.
The group (2 PCs and 2 NPC orcs) found the ogres' treasure hoard and picked out a few weapons to arm the orcs with before attempting to make the escape. The evil orc was a Brb3 and the non-evil orc (who was CN) was a Rog3. The PCs were both level 5. Naturally, a paladin, a cleric, and a barbarian are not the most stealthy classes so they get noticed by the ogres. The ogres see that the PCs are trying to free their 'food' and get hostile. The orc barbarian rushes into the nearest group and gets splattered in one round. The rogue, meanwhile, circles around behind the first ogre and delivers a critical sneak attack, killing the ogre instantly. In the following rounds, through SHEER LUCK, the orc manages to score not one, not two, but THREE critical sneak attacks in rapid succession, slaying an ogre with each attack while the PCs draw their fire. Finally, an ogre bruiser (one with a couple of fighter levels) steps in to stop their escape. The orc charges headlong at the ogre and proceeds to roll a triple-20 critical which, in our campaigns, is an instant kill. At that point, they were scott-free and fled the ogre camp, the orc going his own way to rejoin his people and the PCs not wanting to try to stop him due to the fact that he managed to score nothing but critical hits throughout the entire fight with a little masterwork shortsword they had given him.
It was awesome and the players still talk about that scene to this day.
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Also, one of my characters in a d20Modern campagn died in the following way: We were fighting zombies on this ledge, and I fell off the edge and was knocked unconscious by the fall. A fellow player healed me, and I was able to sit up, but then another one wandered over later having not seen any of that. Beleiving that my character had been bitten, and thus had become a zombie, he shot me in the head. It was too funny to suck.
That was me. Heh heh heh....