templates added if we're talkin old school.
This reminds me of another story, where
like, there was this guy, and like,
everybody called him "Tiny", not because he
was big like Little John, which would
make no sense if it wasn't for
his tiny head. It was so small,
hungry pigeons often mistook it for a
peanut, and pecked at it mercilessly. This
pummeling, however, made his head swell up
like a fat tick ready to burst.
Thus, Little John never left his house
which was a good thing, because his
mommy didn't approve of his lazy friends
or any of the girls he brought
back with him when he ventured out
into the Styes, where the worst neighborhoods
are. But he plotted nightly to take
(OK, he "never" leaves his house but he picks up girls in bad neighborhoods?)
a journey there, in his ethereal form,
to buy a few pastrami sandwiches for
the neo-otyughs living underneath his bed. These
(I was originally thinking more along the lines that it was just as well that he never left the house, as pigeons would eat his noggin. The Styes babes came later, I guess...)
Keanu Reeves otyughs were feeling snarky, so
they decided to reenact the Matrix trilogy
in french. The first Neo-otyugh, who smelled
like the old socks it recently consumed,
wasn't quite "leading otyugh" material, so the
consensus was that it would be Morpheus
and the role would go to a
creature with only two legs. As for
the bald guy who wanted a steak,
the pontificating moron in a white suit,
Boss Hogg. The Duke Boys, played by
the two skinniest otyughs, had their wagon
painted with the Canadian flag in a
bizarre absurdist landscape, along with melting watches
and herd animals. Dukes fans pointed out
that Salvador Dali, with his weird moustache,
would have found this painting too realistic
and flagellated himself psychologically for having painted
his winged cows in a non-melty way.
This was the worst Matrix rendition ever
, at least since The Matrix Reloaded. However,
it was nowhere near as bad as
Wolf Blitzer's sex tape, but at least
it gave some otyughs some work, and
otyugh roles are hard to come by.
Kid Rock, now that he is single,
auditioned, but he made the otyughs nauseous
, making them demand stunt doubles and increased
raw sewage, to mask the atrocious smell
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