coming from his feat. The endeavor was
further complicated by the need to keep
his boss from knowing what he did
in the Applebee's men's room two days
ago after imbibing a vat of dwarven
eye fluid. Needless to say, Kid Rock
threatened to tell on Little John unless
he bought him some shiny shoes. This
made him mad. Real mad. Real Real
Mad. Mad enough to do the unthinkable -
he challenged Kid Rock to a match
of backgammon, where the loser would have
to insert a live dire wolverine into
Asmodeus's rear end, which would likely result
in much moaning and gnashing of teeth
not to mention the wolverine's bad attitude.
Bringing their hangers-on and posses, Kid
Rock began the match, rolling double sixes
; this auspicious start was surely due to
dice as loaded as the Kid himself.
However, Tiny's posse, largely composed of his
failed experiments in cranial enlargement through eldritch
incantations (and a few inflatable pig bladders),
immediately called the dice-loader out, as they
beat their chests and drooled all over
Rosie O'Donnell, the referee. She ruled that
she would have to eat the dice,
the board, and the players. This ended
when Rosie O'donnell stuffed Kid Rock into
her gaping maw and chewed him up
she overdosed on the narcotics in his
blood and was gradually transformed into a
girl's high school gym teacher. Softly, she
grunted, thinking, "wow, I always wondered what
vile processes create such creatures", before abruptly
passing the most rancid gas ever smelled
. It wafted eagerly into her waiting nostrils;
for she alone enjoyed the smell of
the partly digested Kid Rock and his
greasy hair, crawling with all manner of
tiny, rabid monkeys and a gelatinous cube.
Victorious, Tiny and his malformed hangers-on jubilantly
amputated their legs, and waved them about
in a display of truly uninhibited joy;
competition. Before they bled to death, they
wondered briefly how the world remember them -
and if they could get a drumstick.
Ever efficient, Tiny's otyugh flatmates proceeded to
eat the discarded appendages. "We don't let
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