The funniest piece of gaming humor I have ever read hands down. I was laughing out loud in Borders reading it.
This joins the ranks of Dungeon's "Devil's Box" in that special lonesome place in my soul where I store the only gaming publications that have made me totally lose it and guffaw out loud to no one in particular.
This article was absolutely splendid!
Chiming in to say that "Ecology of the Adventurer" is the funniest thing I've read all week. I don't think I've ever laughed so loudly at my Dragon magazine. Hilarious!
When I read the parts where the kobold author whines about all the sneaky tactics adventurers use, I laughed aloud because we did those. The sample character was absolutely spot-on in its details, and the picture made me laugh the most of anything in the article because I look at it and see every one of my player Jonny's characters ever.
They're all called Taren, they all walk around with more gear than one man can reasonably hold (including quite literally the entire Equipment section), they regularly use priceless magic items as the likes of pots, and if I'd let them, I have absolutely no doubt that he'd be wielding the Axe of the Dwarvish Lords in the Hand of Vecna.
Then I realised that Jonny wouldn't have settle for any less than dual-wielding the Sword of Kas in the Hand of Vecna the Mace of St. Cuthbert in the Arm of Nyr, and an animated Shield of Prator and none of his original eyes, and that made me laugh even more.
LOL, ok you've definitely got me curious now... ;)
Lol! Ecology of the Adventurer was pretty damn funny. Kinda made me think about the sad sad tale of Deekin from NWN. The "Advanced Adventurer" is listed as having like 10 diffrent classes??! Ha ha, he specializes in multi-classing.
Hmm...wouldn't it be funny to lead a party into a fake kobold cave as part of a small town's tourism bussiness? Not real of course but a theatrical performance allowing tourists and adventurers alike to "kill" the Evil Kobold King. The 'abandoned' cave could lead down into an actual kobold cave and merchants could swarm in droves to scrape together a living selling their wares to regular adventurers. Even in passing it might be fun for a campaign drop.
Even in passing it might be fun for a campaign drop.
This makes me want to write a query. That's so not fair. ;)
Mokumok the Shaman here.
Ah! So that's what happened to my "Ecology of the Adventurer" report--a sticky-fingered adventurer stole it from my desk and published it in Dragon Magazine!!
Um...I noticed my erotic novel was also missing. Please don't publish any of that, okay? It was never meant to be read by anyone.
Thanks,
Mokumok
Yes! As always Dragon does something super-cool! Only further encourages The Koga's desire to make a monster campaighn where adventurers are the villains..
It could work if the npc classes were tweaked, though frankly then they'd be sortof adventurers in themselves, but with a differant manuever and motivation then most..
It's weird and improper for a parody to credit.
99% of parodies do not credit.
I was very disappointed you didn't know that.
;)
Tony M
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Yes! As always Dragon does something super-cool! Only further encourages The Koga's desire to make a monster campaighn where adventurers are the villains..
It could work if the npc classes were tweaked, though frankly then they'd be sortof adventurers in themselves, but with a differant manuever and motivation then most..
Alas I nolonger have a unique avatar. Oh well.
On topic, I agree. Brillian article!
Dear God:
Ecology of the Adventerer was so funny I peed my pants practically. Please can I have a kobald for Christmas next year? Tell Rudolph I love him!
your fan,
drunken zombie-faced ugly guy
Alas, the funny folks at Paizo invented the hilarious Morgan Ironwolf, not I.
Well.....I'm assuming she was invented. She could be somebody's actual PC, I suppose. :)
Tony M
I love the footnotes on the stat block, all the little details were killing me. That was a very funny article, well written, and I'd love to see more like it.
Alas, the funny folks at Paizo invented the hilarious Morgan Ironwolf, not I.
Well.....I'm assuming she was invented. She could be somebody's actual PC, I suppose. :)
Tony M
Morgan was a sample character in the Basic D&D rulebook. I about fell out of my chair laughing when I saw her name (and the fact that she seems to have picked up a girdle of femininity / masculinity somewhere along the way based on the illustration). She's come a long way since AC 3, Hpts 6, and "special abilities: none"! (I had to drag out the old book to show my husband when I started laughing as he didn't recognize the name).
Great, great article - I loved the choice of name for Morgan too. Now where's Black Dugal? :-)
Finally picked this issue up and this article WAS HILARIOUS. I was giggling as I read it. Poor Mokumok with his 31 wives....Morgan Ironwolf's write-up was neat and reminded me of my early gaming days. Both 15 and 7 1/2-ft poles, thankyouverymuch.
With all those 18 value abilities I'm sure Morgan was somebody's PC ....:)
BLOOD FOR THE DARK GOD !!!!
It was very funny, but it would have been better if it was more like a regular ecology, such as including a sidebar that mentions the Adventurer's first appearance was in the AD&D Monster Manual by Gary Gygax as one of the entires under the very scary heading of Men (worse than Devils to a Kobold, Men are).
I read this about the same time I picked up a copy of the 2nd edtion Complete Book of Humanoids (you know, in 2e PC Kobolds got no ability score bonuses and some penalties). Together they made me decide that in my campaign world, one of the right hand beings of my Grandfather of Assassins will be a 14th level Kobold Assassin.
Man oh man.
Ring of Seven wishes?
Guilty.
I know someone who played a half dragon (temporal drake) and wore a Ring of Two Wishes, that is to say a Ring of Three with one used. Whenever he died, another of him suddenly appeared with a full ring and used one wish to bring himself back to life before returning to his usual spot in time.
I loved it. My wife (no gamer she... but a respectable geek inher own right) loved it. We laughed together on a plane ride, listening to Matisyahu while the baby slept...
Idyllic, no?
Morgan was a sample character in the Basic D&D rulebook.
Which edition was she from? It's been a while since I flicked through the Red book, but I don't recall the name.
I loved the article though. Except that it could have done with being three or four times as long. Easily. I miss the silliness of the old April issues - this ecology was very welcome indeed.