Nicolas Logue's page

About Nicolas Logue

Nicolas is currently eating your brains as you read this. He says: "Yum, quite tasty, though a little on the spongy side..." as he washes your grey matter down with Guayaki Yerba Mate Drink (Traditional Mate...not the Raspberry or Mint b&!!@$##).

Nick enjoys teaching children to kill...on stage. Nick also enjoys candlelit dinners, the spray of warm blood on his face in melee, and that deep down satisfaction that accompanies hurling a crudely fashioned hand axe into a fleeing child's back. Nick is a Virgo.

All Nick wants is a job. Then he'll stop killing. In the meantime he enjoys writing for Dungeon magazine (yeah, and Dragon too, don't get pissed Mike and Wes!), and basically working on any project that allows him to spam James Jacobs (Nick's Idol) at least once a day with nonsensical emails. Nick enjoys unfortunate close-proximity rough housing.

Nick's most recent appearance on stage was as Jack Warden in Haditha/Walmartt Killing Machine. His favorite recent roles include Kent in King Lear, David Craig in Observe the Sons of Ulster Marching Towards the Somme, and Count Cenci in Percy Shelly's Cenci: A Tragedy of Rape and Murder in which he got to butt-f#%~ a guy while eating steak off his back, and rape two incredibly hot chicks on stage...but that's not why he liked the role, it was the romantic spirit of the piece and the chance to play a baseless villain in his twilight years (kind of like Rich Pett).

Nick has died twice, resulting in level loss both times, because being unemployed he couldn't afford a true resurrection and had to settle for raise dead, and a clone spell. Nick is currently creating a host of his own simulacra to satisfy the many women and men who crave his constant companionship. Though having no levels in an arcane spellcasting class is certainly not helping matters much. To say nothing of the dearth of women and men craving his companionship.

Nick is fond of exclaiming "Titties!" where others might shout a rousing "Wonderful!" or "Golly!" If you come between Nick and Indian Food he may try to tear out your spleen and force-feed it to you...you'll know cause you'll see his eyes go all squirrley and crazy first. Do not attempt to stop him, do not attempt to shoot Nick either, it only makes him angry. Instead...ask Nick to say something inane in Mandarin...like throwing millet seeds before a vampire, this always causes Nick to pause in his attack.

Nick looks forward to world conquest - his first decree as Despotic Overlord of the Universe: "Those who do not play pen-n-paper roleplaying games shall be utterly destroyed in a torrent of fire."

When Nick steals someone's soul, he doesn't say "YOUR SOUL IS MINE!" Or any such cheesy huggabaloo...instead he mumbles "Thanks buddy" or for a particularly juicy soul "Muah-ha, didn't see that coming did you!?"

Nick would write more, but he is finished eating your brains now and he is being savaged by an owlbear that just burst through his front door...