My ex-wife could not stand my lifelong hobby as a gaming geek and in fact cites that as one of the reasons for abandoning the marriage (my story is a little different, but we won't go into that).
I'm sorry to hear that. :-(
My current girlfriend has just begun to game with us - playing Warhammer FRP, not D&D - but she has never played any RPG's before. So far, she is having a great time but doesn't fit the mold discussed here. She isn't comfortable enough yet to get really into character - she is the only new player with an experienced group - and gets much more fun and satisfaction from learning the ins and outs of the rules and throwing the dice in combat.
One of my unofficial house rules is that the veterans help out the new guy (or gal, in this case), in fact, I expect it. The veterans can help out the newbie with rules and how-tos, to which die is the d12, to whatever. If the group is really into roleplaying and shows it, then that may help her as well. Another mental trick that I use is address the players by their character's name, rather than their own. I find that it helps create the proper mindset. For new players, I also emphasize a roleplaying XP bonus, so that they know that it's not all about rolling the dice. YMMV.
I think most would agree that this is the typical curve most of us have taken, and so perhaps there is no difference between men and women?
In my limited experience with other groups, there really isn't a difference. I think a players' upbringing and how they approach problem solving and social interaction is a bigger deciding factor rather than by any gender influence. At least, that's my opinion. :-D
I'd love to hear from some of the industry's leading women on this topic: Sue Cook or Michelle Carter for example.
So would I!
I've been lucky that I haven't faced the "a girl! a girl! run!!" attitude, nor have I received any anti-female attitudes either. I still get a "You're the dungeon master???" occasionally from other gamers, but I don't pay any attention to it. (I kinda like being the oddball.) I have had one gamer who immediately thought that since I'm of the feminine gender that all my games are fluffy, no guts, no gore games. The misconception was corrected, forcefully, by my other half, who is a player in my games. :-D
The hardest part for me to get used to was gaming with your significant other and maintaining a clear separation. That was harder than any other gender "issues" than I've come across.
I find this whole thing funny being gay myself. Want to know why you dont have more women? it's because of the men already playing the games. Awhile back Dragon had a cover with a male god on it. There were piles of letters agianst the cover. Siting it was "gay" and why there wanst a woman on the cover.
Look around you gaming table the next time you play.
That's why you dont have more women.
Well from my experience; female players tend to get trodden on my male players. Meaning, they generally have less knowledge of the game and the rules, but tend to really get into role playing. Their lack of basic game knowledge and the fact that most non married gamers have trouble remembering what real women look like; tends to make male gamers over enthusiastic in providing game details. This tend to start rule lawyers wars with one upsmanship; which really tends to get out of hand. I have had to say so many times to various gamers to just chill and let the person bleedin play the game. The gamers have done stuff like this to my wife more than a few times and she has a temper and doesnt take any crap from anyone, or course, nor does she play in any game I have run. We gamers are kinda set in our ways and you may not realize it, but it can be a daunting task for young non A type personalities to break in. Softly encourage; dont browbeat.
The second issue female players tend to have is that as most single gamers tend to be single and they are often not to careful about there hygeine which we males tend to ignore. The geek stygma doesnt help nor a lot of the stuff that goes with it. This is definately a turn off for women; I have had a few women leave cause of it; I have taken to doing an intense clean of my game room; shampoo and everything to get people into the theme of cleaning up a bit; women notice things like stains in the carpet and in close and peeps not throwing there trash out.
Wrapping this up; the third most hated thing I have heard from women; yes, I do talk to them and have those things called conversations, they just don't want to hear your crusty old story about your character. Especially, if it is a character from another game and she has no idea what you are talking about. And for cripe sake; dont tell her the same dang story for the tenth time; most of it is not funny to them because they were not there when it happened. Let them play and make there own stories with the group; when they start telling stories; go ahead and tell yours but my advice is to keep them short and make sure you have a point.
Hehe; all that said; I love females in my game; there is not much funnier in my mind as a gm than a guy playing a girl and a girl playing a guy; and them interacting.
Well, thats my two bits about why there is not many women gamers, single ones anyway. BTW I can knit and not only fix the sewing machine; I know how to use it; I do almost all the cooking at my house and also most of the cleaning; including things like the frige, the stove, mopping, I change diapers; burp kids; buy the groceries and anything else needed so maybe it is just my liberal genderbending attitide, but there have almost alway been women in my game.
The second issue female players tend to have is that as most single gamers tend to be single and they are often not to careful about there hygiene which we males tend to ignore. The geek stygma doesnt help nor a lot of the stuff that goes with it. This is definitely a turn off for women; I have had a few women leave cause of it; I have taken to doing an intense clean of my game room; shampoo and everything to get people into the theme of cleaning up a bit; women notice things like stains in the carpet and in close and peeps not throwing there trash out.
This is sometimes an issue for me. Sure I'm ok with a little bit of mess. It happens. And I think I am lucky I have never been in a filthy situation.
My issue? Farting. Being in a small room with limited ventilation with 4 guys with terrible diets blowing ass, literally, every 30 minutes. And I don't just mean a small piffer. I meant a wet your pants, clear the room ripenss of the pants. I shouldn't have to pull out the medical masks for a game.
I have spoken to them about it but apparently according to man law: they don't have to leave the room when they are in majority. I called BS since it's my apartment.
They then followed it up by saying they can't hold it in. Nonsense. How does the rest of the world of males do it on first days? Classes? Work? Sometimes there is a slip. But this is a case of being too lazy to sit up and walk 10 feet to spare me. All of them couldn't possibly have a medical issue. ::sigh:: No manners.
Thread necromancy at its finest! Ahhhh, more than four years....
Thread necromancy at its finest! Ahhhh, more than four years....
My old group, back in high school days, was all guys. Since then there have always been women in the mix. I'm used to gaming with about a 50/50 split. My wife is a gamer, too.
This is sometimes an issue for me. Sure I'm ok with a little bit of mess. It happens. And I think I am lucky I have never been in a filthy situation.My issue? Farting. Being in a small room with limited ventilation with 4 guys with terrible diets blowing ass, literally, every 30 minutes. And I don't just mean a small piffer. I meant a wet your pants, clear the room ripenss of the pants. I shouldn't have to pull out the medical masks for a game.
I have spoken to them about it but apparently according to man law: they don't have to leave the room when they are in majority. I called BS since it's my apartment.
They then followed it up by saying they can't hold it in. Nonsense. How does the rest of the world of males do it on first days? Classes? Work? Sometimes there is a slip. But this is a case of being too lazy to sit up and walk 10 feet to spare me. All of them couldn't possibly have a medical issue. ::sigh:: No manners.
Gross!
Man law? I don't think so. That's ill mannered and disgusting.I wouldn't act like that even in an all-male gaming environment. Nor would most men I know. It's just common courtesy to excuse yourself from the room.
Gross!
Man law? I don't think so. That's ill mannered and disgusting.
I wouldn't act like that even in an all-male gaming environment. Nor would most men I know. It's just common courtesy to excuse yourself from the room.
I have spoken nicely, I have asked nicely, I have yelled, and I have banned them from my apartment. They just won't sit up and leave because it's "too hard to maneuver around the table," and that they'd, "have to do it too frequently."
When I ask how they manage at work or in classes they say, they "hold it for an hour and head to the rest room." But they can't do it for me.
If there wasn't so much history with the group, and the games weren't such quality, I'd leave.
I have spoken nicely, I have asked nicely, I have yelled, and I have banned them from my apartment. They just won't sit up and leave because it's "too hard to maneuver around the table," and that they'd, "have to do it too frequently."
When I ask how they manage at work or in classes they say, they "hold it for an hour and head to the rest room." But they can't do it for me.
If there wasn't so much history with the group, and the games weren't such quality, I'd leave.
That's too bad. You shouldn't even have to ask.
I have a mental image of a group of guys who aren't very successful in social situations, especially those involving the fairer sex. Sorry if that sounds mean-spirited or harsh, but it's the impression I've formed from the limited information presented to me.
That's too bad. You shouldn't even have to ask.I have a mental image of a group of guys who aren't very successful in social situations, especially those involving the fairer sex. Sorry if that sounds mean-spirited or harsh, but it's the impression I've formed from the limited information presented to me.
No insult. :) That's about right. Excluding two of them in terms of being social zombies. But I'm thinking I'm sort of an exemption to the girl rule. Wouldn't be the first time.
No insult. :) That's about right. Excluding two of them in terms of being social zombies. But I'm thinking I'm sort of an exemption to the girl rule. Wouldn't be the first time.
I'm not saying that they are bad people, mind you. They just sound as if they could use a little polishing in the etiquette department, that's all. If they improve their manners they might find that they are better received in polite company and more successful in relationships with women.
Naturally enough, I expect you to teach them the correct way. ;)
female gamers are hot, just saying
I removed a sexist post.