Conspiracy Central

Those damn airlines are at it again. This time, they've gone into colusion with the shaving cream manufacturerers. Notice how you never see a travel size container of shaving cream? That's because the shaving cream makers stopped making them. That way, when you travel, you either have to pay for a checked bag with your shaving cream inside, or not bring any in your carry-on and buy some when you get where you're going, or bring it in your carry-on and it gets confiscated so you have to buy more.

INSIDIOUS BASTARDS!!!

And don't get me started on those damnable Belgians and their mayonnaise.....

Suddenly, the evening's TV schedule turned all belgium...

THE COLLECTIVE IS NOW OBSERVING THIS THREAD.

THE COLLECTIVE IS NOW OBSERVING THIS THREAD.

You can't fool me! I know who you work for!!! You tell your Martian Artificial Intelligence Overlords they'll never take me alive!!!!

MAIO... Belgium...

We are not stealing your underpants! They get here CARRIED BY THE WIND! Fasten them better and stop sending letters, we won't give them back!

One-Of-Many wrote:

THE COLLECTIVE IS NOW OBSERVING THIS THREAD.

You can't fool me! I know who you work for!!! You tell your Martian Artificial Intelligence Overlords they'll never take me alive!!!!

IF WE WANTED YOU, WE WOULD ALREADY HAVE YOU.

GLORY TO THE MANY.

We are not stealing your underpants! They get here CARRIED BY THE WIND! Fasten them better and stop sending letters, we won't give them back!

That's what she said!!! You're with HER, aren't you.

Gnomeland Security Enforcer wrote:

We are not stealing your underpants! They get here CARRIED BY THE WIND! Fasten them better and stop sending letters, we won't give them back!

That's what she said!!! You're with HER, aren't you.

No we're not! We're with HIM! If you want HER, check with those blasted svirfneblin!

Ah ha! I KNEW IT!!!!

Oh, you're gonna eat mah chicken!

No one ever wants to listen about the squirrels and pigeons.

Back in the day, stories written by the late Lloyd Alexander followed the adventures of Taran, Assistant Pig Keeper, in the land of Prydain. One of Taran's friends was Coll, a warrior turned farmer who sometimes worried about his turnips.

Flash forward to the present - the Disney Channel has an animated series called Octonauts, with anthropomorphic characters. One of those characaters is.....that's right......TURNIP!

Coincidence? I think not.

Well, they did make a Black Cauldron movie...

@op. Just use soap?

Well, they did make a Black Cauldron movie...

Exactly! Even now, somewhere deep in the bowels of one of those theme parks, there are probably scientists working on genetically modified attack turnips.

Uhuhuhuh, he said "bowels."

No one mentioned the global anti warming groups out of Boho grove?? for shame.

THERE IS NO PROTEST ORGANIZATION. INFORMATION TO THE CONTRARY IS MISTAKEN OR FALSIFIED. MAINTAIN STANDARD PROCEDURES, CITIZENS.

What if this thread is a conspiracy to keep us unaware of the real conspiracy going on?

Sure, tell people the government has aliens hidden and that the Bilderberg Group has video feed from inside your toilet, so that they spend their time worried about that and not about what truly is going on.

I'm on to you, so called "Conspiracy Buff". Or should I say... Conspiracy Bluff? Eh? EH?!

@op. Just use soap?

It's a conspiracy by the bandaid guys to get guys to use soap instead of shaving cream! Nicks ans cuts for everyone!

meatrace wrote:

@op. Just use soap?

It's a conspiracy by the bandaid guys to get guys to use soap instead of shaving cream! Nicks ans cuts for everyone!

I do just fine.

I think the government's weather satellites were on the fritz last week. It was actually cloudy in <redacted> for a few days.

What? You think I'm gonna give away my location?

THAT IS UNNECESSARY.

it is like killing baby goblins.

They don't kill all the baby goblins. Some of them are taken to a secret training facility in the middle of the Sahara. Once there, they undergo extensive training in the arts of Ninjitsu and making balloon animals, all the while receiving extensive neural implants designed to make them obedient agents of their nefarious masters.

They may not...

The $200 million supposedly paid recently for Justin Bieber’s entire music catelog was actually hush money.

Unknown to most people, the entertainer has extensive knowledge of theoretical physics and engineering. They needed to purchase his silence for helping them develop new sound-based weaponry to help repel a forthcoming alien invasion.

You think this thread was nerco'd, but they deleted all the true posts of the past decade.

Gasp!

Sliced bread wasn’t actually developed by an American. It was secretly developed by a cabal of Belgian Mayonnaise Manufacturers, as part of their insidious plot to spread their malign product by encouraging sandwich eating.

Sliced bread is a three-edged sword.

The reason there’s a “crawfish season” in Louisiana is because that’s the time every year when the dimensional barriers are at their weakest, allowing the tiny, armored terrors to once again invade our reality. Luckily, they taste good when properly cooked.

There have been recent new reports the Earth’s core shows evidence of slowing down (and possibly reversing). This is, of course, merely to distract scientists from the fact that gravity is slowly being weakened by aliens who want the Earth for themselves.

Big Plumbing has long been able to employee secret, pinpoint freezing technology. This allows them to rupture pipes and valves with utmost precision, maximizing their profits.

The WiFi went “out” in our area yesterday. And I’m pretty sure it was just so they could upload some new tracking software.

I'm so glad this thread was resurrected. Which I'm sure is because Illuminati just wants us to be distracted by fun things while they work their nefarious magic against the world.

That’s exactly what THEY want you to think!

The so-called “spy balloon” was actually a clever new weapon developed by the 2/3rds Dimension aliens actually running most of Asia (and Luxembourg). They wanted us to destroy it, because doing so will unleash the psychotropic gas within. Once that gas settles into our water system, it will slowly turn the entire populous into Nickelback fans, thus rendering us helpless and catatonic whenever the band’s music plays.

AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!

There was a news article about Peyton Manning’s son being his spitting image. That’s because the boy is actually a clone. It’s an experiment by the NFL team owners to produce and endless supply of new players, for when the others get hurt.

All these “flying objects” being spotted. Looks like the aliens are finally making their move.

The real reason Blake Shelton (if that is his real name) is leaving the TV show The Voice is so he can return to his home dimension with all the valuable intelligence he’s gathered on humanity.

The real reason Blake Shelton (if that is his real name) is leaving the TV show The Voice is so he can return to his home dimension with all the valuable intelligence he’s gathered on humanity.

BLAST! I KNEW IT!

The real reason Blake Shelton (if that is his real name) is leaving the TV show The Voice is so he can return to his home dimension with all the valuable intelligence he’s gathered on humanity.

BLAST! I KNEW IT!

I have no idea why that posted twice. I blame Blake Shelton.

I have no idea why that posted twice. I blame Blake Shelton.

Probably because of the dimensional cross rip. These things happen.

I have it in good authority that a modern day plague was actually grown in a lab, then unleashed upon an unsuspecting humanity.

I am, of course, speaking of reality TV.

I have it in good authority that a modern day plague was actually grown in a lab, then unleashed upon an unsuspecting humanity.

I am, of course, speaking of reality TV.

Now THIS is a conspiracy theory I can support!

There’s a recent news article claiming Yosemite National Park was being closed indefinitely due to “extreme weather”.

A LIE!!!

The truth is, the Sasquatch have set up a portal to their home dimension within the park. They’re using the area as a staging ground for their imminent invasion.