I was just doing my daily inspection of another forum segment when I witnessed an unauthorized summoning of a goblinoid, followed by the appearance of ANOTHER goblinoid!
This raises some serious concerns within the Department of Gnomeland Security, for it is clear these malodorous menaces are up to something.
So I ask you, good non-goblin citizens of Paizo, how can we deal with this?
We cannot let this continue! Next things we'll be seeing, what, bugbears tending at cake shops? Gripply masseurs? ABOLETH BALLERINAS?
Madness, I tell you!
Dissenting citizen I see!
We have a way to deal with the likes of you!
<Proceeds to ineffectively tumble and jump around the place, legs and arms too short for it to appear in any way stylish or dramatic>
Have at you!
<Pokes Simon with a hopelessly non-damaging mini-dagger, more in the line of a dull butter knife>
YEARS of training in Gnome-Fu!
<Attempts an unsuccesful manouver to break his leg. Only pushes the foot back a bit>
MASTER of the hidden art of Gnomebobulation!
<Pretty comfortable slap on the neck that releases some piled up muscle stress, though it was meant as a death choke>
Hah! You'll be dead any moment now....
<Disappears into the shadows, but bumps against the wall. Then tries to slowly crawl his way out the window>
Dicey the House Goblin wrote:
Who keeps letting these goblins in?
Don't you realise they are a THREAT TO GNOMELAND SECURITY?
I'm watching all of you....
Comrade Anklebiter wrote:
Goblin Maximum Age: 40 +1d20 years
I'm sorry, Comrade. But it's in the book.
Dicey the House Goblin wrote:
We ARE watching you, citizen.
No one escapes the sight of the Regime.
<Steps back into the shadows while pointing at his eyes. Then trips on a step and ruins the moment>
By Gnomsky! This I why I keep telling everyone back home we shouldn't be working with goblins!
<Crawls away into hiding>
General Buck Turgidson wrote:
Suuuure, you would say that... typical Commie gnome propaganda.
Consider yourself under permanent surveillance from now on, citizen.
Those silent, smiling, never-blinking "decorative" gnomes showing up every night in your garden? Yes, we know, oh yes we do.
<Walks away while pointing at his eyes>
A Man In Black wrote:
We are watching you, pixie sympathiser.
Brownies, those we go along nicely with.
But pixies... we at Gnomeland Security have them high on our list.
As we now have you.
<Points two fingers at his eyes as he walks away backwards, slowly>
Conspiracy Buff wrote:
No we're not! We're with HIM! If you want HER, check with those blasted svirfneblin!
Ah, yes, yessss! Our plan to make the goblins wall themselves in by making the humans poke into their territories seems to be comming into fruition!
Soon, it will be time to unveil the next step in the plan to become the ONE AND ONLY TINY RACE!
<Flies away in his steam-powered gyrocopter>
We're watching you, citiz... oh GOD, look! It whirls, it WHIRLS! I want two, no, THREE, but make it four!
Ehem... as I was saying, you and your topic are both being closely monitored by Gnomeland Sec... four? who said four? I WANT FIVE WHIRLY THINGS, and by five I clearly mean six.
Me. You. Watching <points eyes with fingers>