Zeppler M.D., Spellware Surgeon's page

WAAAAAY too much teenag-y, angsty pathos

For those of us who don't have time to wade through that....he saw his best girl in gym gear, and got a stoooopid grin on his face. The End.

Literally.

Seriously - I'm sure he's staring at her butt right now since she hasn't turned around yet. ;)

Doc Zeppler ~ "Move it Along, People!!!!" ;D

GM Fireclaw wrote:

Just remembered about the Harbinger. Duh. Still in orbit?

Yeppers.

Now I have the sneaking suspicion things are about to get as lively up there as the day Agartha 'de-inverted' itself...

:/

Don't you mean "when your son 'prolapsed' a planet"?

Doc Zeppler ~ "Cleanup on Aisle Agartha!" ;D

She sighed. "I don't think he would be so trusting of everyone. But he and his 'followers' have built an entire religion around worshipping dragons," she said with an eye roll. "Half the time when I am speaking to him I don't know whether to weep or laugh. Most of his band are lost children much like he is, though at least one is psychologically unstable. I invited them to enroll here, and it seems like he intends to accept the offer. I suggested that his older followers seek employment in Kuros. I can't think of anything better to cure dragon worship than working for James," she said dryly. "But back to Havel...he and another child called Elegy built some kind of magical device to transform themselves into dragons. With mixed results. So there is no telling what that's done to his physiology. I have requested that he bring the device with him for study. He was eager to agree, as it does not work as he expected it to, and he would like the help in figuring out why. The armor he was wearing...it is clerical regalia. I don't know of what deity. I know the armor though. I saw it when I was a child. It was....taken, long ago. By Hunters. The wound on his leg was caused by a Hunter weapon also. Recently. Within the last two years, and from a clan that had not been encountered in the last half century. The blade was cursed and a piece of it broke off inside his leg. Even after removing the blade itself, the curse remains. It is no doubt specially meant to kill dragons, so the changes he has made to himself are making it worse. I do not know for sure if it is a curse or a poison, but given its resistance to magical cures, I would suspect that it's more....not a disease exactly, but I believe it is causing his body to attack itself. I may be wrong. I have never studied medicine, so my ability to interpret the scans is distinctly limited."

"I don't think you're wrong at all, Ryleh - the only reason he's still alive is because he's not really or fully a dragon. It's slowing down the spread of the necrosis, but the changes he made to himself are the whole reason he's in this situation. So enough of that doom and gloom - let's get to making him better again."

"Hopefully this malady hasn't tainted his entire genetic makeup yet. If that's the case, I should be able to clone a replacement leg and graft it in place of the dying one. But the only way to know for sure is to try and grow a replacement in the lab now and see what happens to it. With my lab on the Harbinger I should be able to do so in a day or so. But we're going to need to see how it behaves before we try swapping it out."

As soon as the door slides closed behind Havel, Zeppler sighs and stows his datapad.

"Well....he's a very trusting young man," he observes to Ryleh, eyes still on the door. "So what else do I need to know about our young friend out there?"

Havel shrugs. "not really." Havel seems unphased, and possibly too trusting of all of these medical procedures from people he just met.

"Alright then. Let's show you how to use the band real quick..."

[Insert Training Montage Here] ;P

"...And that should do it - you're all set to go, Havel. I need to go over some details with Ms Ryleh, so could you wait for us back at the front desk please?"

"Nah, go ahead. Stuff like that is trivial to heal."

The good doctor nods again and then pushes a button on his datapad.

"Attending physician M. Zeppler: Please log verbal consent to biopsy in patient file. Prepare biopsy materials, and one Class C inhibitor band, model HLE."

Zeppler then enters another command, and a small medical card emerges from the wall. He rolls it over to Havel.

"Alright, we'll take the sample now, and then give you something to help manage the pain in your leg while we study it."

He takes a white, almost belt-like band from the cart and attaches it around the thigh on Havel's good leg. The 'buckle' has a small console on it, which he taps a few times. Havel's leg tingles for a few seconds, then goes numb. Once he verifies the leg's state Zeppler quickly performs the biopsy, then heals the wound.

Once the wound is sealed, he swaps the band to Havel's other leg.

"All done! Now this band won't completely alleviate the pain of your wound, but it will help manage it while we determine the best way to get rid of the thing. I'll show you how to use it before we discharge you. It will also let us know if your condition changes, so please keep it on as much as you can."

"Questions?"

** spoiler omitted **

Zeppler nods (apparently at his datapad), then looks back up at Havel.

"Alright, Mr. Havel - I think we can help you, but I want to gather some more information before I commit us to a single course of action."

"Given your wound's history of resistance to treatment, what I'd like to do is take a small tissue sample from your good leg to give me a starting point for healing you. I will need your consent before doing so, though."

"Do you have any questions for me before you give me that answer?"

** spoiler omitted **

** spoiler omitted **

Doctor Zeppler looks over the scan data. Assuming that Ryleh is (as usual for her) listening for errant surface thoughts, the unflappable halfling makes a mental broadcast in her direction...

"Dr. Zeppler," Ryleh says coolly, with a nod. "This is Havel. He was wounded in his leg some time ago with a weapon that was likely of Hunter origin. Designed to kill dragons in other words. The wound has festered in a most troubling way. Healing magics of all sorts, including neutralize poison, remove curse, and remove disease have failed to have any effect, and you can see for yourself that the flesh around the wound is beginning to rot. I ran a scan already, but as I am not a physician, I am not qualified to interpret the results in a case this complex. I am concerned that the toxic effects from this wound might spread into the rest of his body if left alone."

"Hm..." Zeppler replies noncommittally as he accesses some of the school's less-public databases for more information.

"Ah. Those Hunters. So we're dealing with the kind of gear that kills neither quickly nor mercifully. And this is why you don't let zealots make weapons," he finally answers with a sigh as he returns to the scans - specifically the wounded leg.

"I need to know what kind of necrosis we're dealing with before we go any further. Let's see here....."

Ryleh frowned. "That is quite a bit worse than I expected. I can run the scan, but I'm not a physician, and I think we're going to need one to look at that. Especially given its resistance to being treated by magical means. Lean back against the chair," she said, pulling a long extendable arm away from the wall and positioning it over Havel's head. "This will be a full body scan. It won't hurt. The scanner just passes over your body and collects data as it goes." As she begins to run the scanner over him the screens switch from showing landscape pictures and instead display the data from the scan as it is being collected, although one would have to be trained to understand any of it. "This will be the baseline for your medical records," she said, putting the arm back into its resting position against the wall and hitting some buttons on the screen of one of the displays until a pleasant voice can be heard saying, 'Now paging attending physician, Dr. Zeppler to exam room five.' [I]Ryleh sighed. "Of course. Well. This should be interesting."

The exam room door opens a few minutes later, and a halfling man in scrubs and a white coat strides in, fingers rapidly tapping on a datapad as it uploads the scan data for his review.

"Well, we do live in interesting times, my lady" Zeppler says with an easy smile and a twinkle in his eyes. "It's good to see you too, Ms Ryleh." ;)

"Now, what's the story with this young man here?," the good doctor asks her, steering their conversation to the unconventionally draconic humanoid in the chair.

Ghalen smirks at Jiween's forwardness...then is kind of surprised by Fei's naivety, and simply chuckles, shooting Ace a comical look.

Pfft - you're SO missing the forest for the trees here, bucko.

You see naivety. I see a group of bonny elvish lasses about to find out what having the Endurance feat really means. >D

Doc Zeppler ~ "Ever and ever forever and ever" ;D

In looking back at Fei's post, it seems a bit....crankier than it sounded in my head when I was thinking it up.

Hmm.

And...aww, you know the rest ;P

Doc Zeppler ~ "Where are the angry young men?" ;D

"Now Jaiye will have a...similar protection. If you accept it, of course," he quickly adds before they start bonding with her dress.

Good save there, Bam Bam. Because as Wise Man say:

Doc Zeppler ~ "Everybody Cut Footloose!" ;D

"I am very happy to meet you. Before we lost so much of our staff during the attacks, I was in charge of pediatrics, strictly ages 12 and under, with occasional consults in the main area for certain difficult cases. I was not expecting to end up as senior management. But we had to keep the place running, and I do have the background for it, in an awful sort of way. Phaezeriel is much better at it though. He has the temperament for dealing with people. So it's definitely been a blow having him out of commission even for a short time. You and your team are definitely a welcome addition, of however long you can stay. Thank you."

"Don't sell yourself short - you've done a helluva job keeping things running here, and that is no small feat. Props for that," Zeppler says with all sincerity, clearly impressed with her work.

"Anywhoo...I'll only be groundside for a little while myself, but these guys should be here with you for the foreseeable future. I've also got a team that's taken over the clinic in Kuros (which is where I should be for most of my 'vacay' here), so nobody has to spread themselves out too thin anymore the next time the crap hits the fan. I've already verified that we've got hardened, encrypted communications working between the two sites, so if you need anything we're just a click away." :)

"And the next things I'm going to say are pretty much going to confirm your opinion that I'm working myself to death," she said with a shrug, "but nevertheless, there are a couple of patients that if they come in for any reason, you need to call me no matter what..."

*
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[INFODUMP]
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"Sorry I don't have all of that in the system yet. There hasn't really been time to update the paperwork."

"And that's why I'm going to hang out here for the weekend while you don't work," the good doctor says with a chuckle as his datapad starts converting her speech into patient file addenda. "I'll let you know if we have any of those folks come through."

"Oh, and watch out for Cheryl. She's a good nurse, but she's a hugger."

"Heh, duly noted," the good doctor says with a rakish grin.

"Anything else?"

Nala turns around, curious to see who was talking. "Who are you? And please tell me that means that you're here to help with the infirmary. Because contrary to popular belief, I do actually need to sleep sometimes," she said with an eye roll.

"Doctor Mordecai Zeppler, at your service madam," the voice says with only a slightly-flourished bow as her gaze finally finds the unflappable halfling below her normal eye level. "And my team has actually been here for several hours already helping out. I understand that the containment field upgrades they installed while you were catching a catnap are helping out nicely with your planar patient," he continues with a conspiratorial wink as he stands back up and nods towards Phaezeriel's room.

"Now that I've had the pleasure of meeting you in person, it looks to me that you have a clear case of Workaholic Syndrome - late Stage 3 by my calculations. I'm part of a group that meets on alternating Thursdays to deal with our common problem (gods know I have my moments) - I can get you an invite if you'd like. The strudel is to die for." ;)

"Seriously though - you need to recuse yourself from duty for a couple of days and just sleep - you're riding the line and you don't need to be. If you'd prefer a familiar face, you could always call in that guy, Fei, who doesn't need to sleep - he's the one who actually reached out to me to send in the cavalry, so to speak."

"So...any other questions for me before you go on medical leave for the weekend?" :D

[Blink]

"Um....that would be me..."

The halfling doctor chuckles as he hops off the ramp and walks over to Fei, his coat snapping sharply behind him in an effort to keep up.

"That was a rhetorical question, my boy," he says with an affable smile. "We'll need to schedule some counseling sessions to work on that sense of humor, eh?" :D

"Now, on to business" the good doctor continues before Fei can respond to that. "The information you sent up to us was about as detailed as I could ever hope to get, so I've got a pretty good idea of what we need to do here. We've had to pull several of our field teams back to the Harbinger in the last few months thanks to...recent events. That may work out perfectly for the folks here and at your school, though, because that means I finally have a surplus of people and equipment. Seems only fair that I put them back to work, am I right?"

"Anywhoo - I'm sending a team up to Avalon to help bolster up the staff there, and I'm going to head up the crew here at the Kuros hospital (at least until things are running smoothly). Given what my folks have seen and dealt with, I can safely say we're not going to have any more people quitting on you."

"And don't worry - I didn't forget about the counseling thing. I've got a team of folks here to help with that at both locations. I know, you didn't mentions the need at Avalon, but I always try to carry spares, if you know what I mean." ;)

"Okay - great talk!! Let me get this show on the road, and I should have everything up and running before you can even have a lewd thought about the cheerleading team. We'll have to do lunch sometime - peace out!!!"

And with that, the unflappable halfling hops up on a passing transport and starts calling out orders to his medical teams. Like a well-oiled machine, the mass of vehicles splits into two groups and rumbles off toward their destinations.

"Soooo....somebody called in the cavalry?" :D

Zeppler M.D., Spellware Surgeon wrote:

Lesson The First: If you're trying, you're trying too hard. ;P

Doc Zeppler ~ "I'm easy like Sunday morning" (^-^)

You are always trying.

[KRONK] [Sniffle] "I'm so proud!" (^_^) [/KRONK]

Doc Zeppler should give lessons!

Disclaimer: Flirtatious advances may not work on wyrm class gem dragons.

Lesson The First: If you're trying, you're trying too hard. ;P

Doc Zeppler ~ "I'm easy like Sunday morning" (^-^)

lynora wrote:

Dragonborn3 wrote:

Joke NPC idea: A horse Lycan that flirts using terrible pick uplines.

Do eet! :P

"Hey [gender specific pronoun], know what riding a horse without a saddle is called?"

It's like a watered down Doc Zeppler!

[Puts on Robes of Schooling, walks up flight of steps to the lectern]

And that, boys and girls, is how a horse makes an ass out of himself. (^-^)

Doc Zeppler ~ Can't stop the Funk!! :D

D'aawwwww.....

Well, it almost looked like those two kids might hug this thing out after all (^-^)

Doc Zeppler ~ "Get 'em off! GET 'EM OFF!! GET 'EM OFF!!!" ;D

The Dalesman wrote:

FireclawDrake wrote:

Also Lyn, I included some silly in both Rena and Ardiente's last post for you. As per your request to bring some humour back ^_^

Nothing like wrestling with the weighty issues of the day. (^-^)

Are you calling me fat? :(

Methinks he was referring to Rena's....'weighty issues'. But I could be wrong... :)

Doc Zeppler ~ "Huge Tracts o' Land!!" ;D

I could spin some grand commentary about Fei suffering from an altogether different kind of 'tidal strain', but that would be tacky of me....

Doc Zeppler ~ "There's yer problem!!" ;D

So... I've noticed a distinct lack of my favorite race in this game: halflings.

Be careful what you wish for there, choomba....

;P

also Carl's not into tall asses, and thing above 3' is out

See, I don't believe you've given the idea of tall women enough thought, Carl...

• If you've got ranks in Climb, what better way to use them, eh?

• If you don't...what better reason do you need to learn, man!?

;P

Doc Zeppler ~ "Save a horse - Ride an Eidolon!" ;D

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahh....Ryo, you'd better get to work on some more anti-fertility charms. And some anti-disease ones too, while we're on the subject. And you have no time.......... ;)

Doc Zeppler ~ "Get away from that before you get a herpes on ya!" ;D

Yay Spug?

"Fei...made from the best cells on Faerun" (^-^)

[With profound apologies to Snapple for the shameless ripoff...] (=^-^=)

Doc Zeppler ~ "Go Johnny GO GO" ;D

"Common side effects of Seer 'mind-melding' include drowsiness, dry mouth, decrease in appetite, anal leakage and facial melting.*"

*"If anal leakage or facial melting persist for more than four hours after the mind meld, please seek immediate medical attention".

This has been a public service message from Palantir Divinatory Pharmaceuticals. ~ "Palantir -we're here to help. Really. No, really. Stop squirming, dammit!!!!"

;D

why hello doctor, perhaps we can be great friends?"

Perhaps. I'd love to have you for dinner some time.

Doc Zeppler ~ "Love Bites, Love Bleeds..."

Oh... Sheessuroussen is in for a surprise, I think. :D

[Tap]

That.....is the understatement of the Red Age. Time to go to work...

Doc Zeppler ~ "And The Thunder Rolls." (-_-)

IT'S A BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now don't forget to spank him 'til he cries, Vai... >)

Doc Zeppler ~ "Baby's got Back!!!!" ;D

Vai is cursed. First time she tried to kiss Fei.. Imperial attack... second time... this. -.-

So glad you have your priorities straight there, young miss.

Look on the bright side - you may get the rest of the school day off. It's all about balance, grasshopper (or some bahookey like that). :)

Doc Zeppler ~ "Things That Make You Go [BOOM!!!!!]" ;D

Fei, of the Sun Soul wrote:

First 'boring', now 'irksome'. This must be my punishment for missing my morning classes... (-_-)

;)

Does it help that I think you're wonderful and perfect? <3

I'll just leave this here.....

Fei is pretty 'boring'...Dragon girl has her needs!

.

Damiani wrote:

Ardiente, of the Fuerte wrote:

So... what I pulled from that: Raelle (15) is definitely an option. Duly noted.

COUGH.

I think I should have a nap. These thoughts keep appearing on the page unbidden.

Now you're talking! Go make society proud, young soldier!

Duty calls, and I (as a Lawful person) must answer.

"It's his sworn duty..."

[ROFL]

...Nope. I just can't finish that line with a straight face. :D

Doc Zeppler ~ "You can't be serious!? Yes I Is!!" ;D

5 D's of dodgeball...

"If you can dodge an Infernal Engine, you can dodge a ball!!"

Doc Zeppler ~ "How would you like to take a break from that fine lead-based paint...and learn about Dodgeball? " ;D

[Rolls Eyes]

Oh please...how positively primeval. I mean, those aren't even vibro-axes or monomolecular blades. What the hell, man!?

I'm sorry, I don't work with sloppy tools. Just isn't professional, neh? ;)

Doc Zeppler ~ "We're Gonna Shake, Rattle & Roll!!!" ;D

Krisilanni Rashira wrote:

"You always got something stuck up your butt, or is it just me?"

I believe Dr. Zeppler's delicate touch is required here.

And remember: You asked for it..... (^-^)

Kicks open a trunk, pulls out a jackhammer and puts some kind of clear, flexible casing around it, then rushes out into the halls.

"Not to worry, kids, I'm a professional....and I use protection!!" >D

Doc Zeppler ~ "You want me to put the hammer down?!?!" ;D

ALL YOUR SANE ARE BELONG TO US!

[MORPHINE TO THE HEAD]

Doc Zeppler ~ Paging Doctor FeelGood! ;D

I could say soooooooooooooooooo many things about proper 'tack & harness' right now...but since it's Epic Fight Time again, it'll just have to wait for later. (^-^)

Doc Zeppler ~ It's all in the reflexes! ;D

[FACEPALM]

Considering how much of a splash Fei has made among the girls, should be interesting to see how much of a reaction Roland gets....though I kind of almost feel bad for Keme. ;P

Riiiiight. Guess the Headmaster just got completely out-voted on that calendar idea after all.

Looks like meat's back on the menu, ladies! (^-^)

Doc Zeppler ~ No Soup For You!!!! ;D

Aaaaaaand BIG BOOM in 3...

Doc Zeppler ~ You Can't Fix Stupid! ;D

Keme Tokala wrote:

Fei, of the Sun Soul wrote:

..........

Oh, come on. It's not like you can date all of the girls you've been flirting with. ;P

Two words: Zen Dating.

Aaaaaand what do two monks getting to first base sound like?

• Monk 1: Hmmmm.

• Monk 2: Hmmmm.

*
Bazinga! (^-^)

Doc Zeppler ~ Whoomp - There It Is!!! ;D

Way to fight wetness there, Ace! Good Job!!! [Thumbs Up]

Doc Zeppler ~ I Got Yer 'Mana from Heaven' Right 'Ere...!!! ;D

On the way to the library himself, Ghalen runs accross the awkward scene

Knowledge: Planes 1d20+33 to figure out what the hell that thing is...

"Pssst! It's Fei - just mostly nekkers. Oh, you meant the other guy...whoopsy."

;D

Doc Zeppler - Parts is Parts! :D

"Down that road lies madness.....let's not try that theory....but I bet you could convince Professor Yrrum to make a potion for you that will bolster your courage for short periods of time without being intoxicating. He loves a challenge."

Hmmm....

Doc Zeppler - Eat Fresh! ;D

lol, if you weren't working with the Resistance and if Ryleh wouldn't kill me for it, I would totally send you a job offer!

It's the Ryleh killing me part that's the biggest deterrent though. :/

I am available for the occasional contract job, by the by - that wouldn't really be a job offer, just some...outside consulting. Yeah.... (^-^)

Doc Zeppler - Free Delivery and Pickup!!! ;D

Miss Jones raises an eyebrow. "While I am aware that there are some co-ed rooms at this school, I wasn't aware this was one of them."

DOOOOOOOMED!!!!!!

Doc Zeppler - I got yer 'Plan B' right here!!! ;D

I always like to keep my audience riveted (^-^)

Doc Zeppler - Ever Forward ;D