Stigwold Mæch'Hæmmær's page

Whit th' buck is wrang wi' ye?

Yoors? diz anyain hae a rope abit? Thes huir needs tae be taid up an' throon in th' brine.

Ye hae a wee problem wi' yer skin laddie. A wee rash aiblins. Mebbe ye needs a dub er tew frae mah hammar. Paaaaaaauugh.

Looks at Grooty

If ye shut thes huir up Ah tryst Ah willnae kill ye.

HARRRRRRRRRRRR

A brine farin' Khuzdul. Es thes a jook? Es 'at a costume? Y'ur a feckin' slip ent ye... ur ye nae?

'HAppy Birthday to Meeeee!'

My co-workers got me an actual Gandalf (looking) pipe!

I am SO wearing my Gandalf hat and smoking it on my back porch tonight!

And I don't actually smoke! :P

Ah, the joys of being 20. I am enjoying my 28th, 20th birthday!

:D

And cider is on the menu tonight as well. :)

Canty feckin' barfday ye sack a' rottin' haggis. Cider is a feckin' earjab bevvy. Dornt make me boak.

Earjab [n]: Elf

"Oooh yessssss leedle wan. You know who Groooooteee ees, ja?"

Groooteeeee? Ah cannae kin a wuid ye ur sayin'. Whit leid ur ye spekin' ye glaikit huur'? Et shor isnae Khuzdul.

Steeeegeeee! Vekk op! Vekk op!

Oooh! Mich lettel Steeegeee!!!

It is I! Zein Grooooteeee!!!!

Och soch a ploomp ent hintzoume dwarf you are, mein lettel Steegeee!!!

Reit up yer broon. Brin' me some bevvy hen.

Thes is interestin' an' fur sure et's gonnae cause some mayhem.

I haven't had car troubles for 10 years. I imagine that will end when I go get my car out of storage next week.

What does he want it to be?

Lizard's Boat Ale from Saltmarsh

She leads you into the front door; there's a massive lounge, with gardened areas; and bellydancers everywhere.

"Would you care for.....spirits?" A dancing girl, one for every partymember present, makes a bottle of something appear in her hands; also, everybody feels a tingling in their hand and a gem encrusted goblet appears there.

<Stig slams it back.>

"Aye."

What the f@%$ is he drinking?

Conan

So Stig is ok drinking in the background here...

Checkin in here too, from my messed up life. Moving back to Vancouver on the 22nd, BTW. Second international move this year.

<Amid great chuffing and chafing Stig double moves to J39 to take some heat of Hnoss.>

Really sick here. Just gonna post an attack and crawl back to bed.

att1 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (9) + 25 = 34
dam1 2d6 + 31 ⇒ (2, 5) + 31 = 38
att2 1d20 + 20 ⇒ (17) + 20 = 37
dam2 2d6 + 31 ⇒ (4, 2) + 31 = 37
att3 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (8) + 15 = 23
dam3 2d6 + 31 ⇒ (2, 6) + 31 = 39

5 foot step. To B39.

Clobberin' time.

att1 1d20 + 25 ⇒ (10) + 25 = 35
dam1 2d6 + 31 ⇒ (2, 3) + 31 = 36
att2 1d20 + 20 ⇒ (4) + 20 = 24
dam2 2d6 + 31 ⇒ (5, 1) + 31 = 37
att3 1d20 + 15 ⇒ (6) + 15 = 21
dam3 2d6 + 31 ⇒ (2, 3) + 31 = 36

I can step up to B39 right?

DM

DM

Okay; ready when you guys are.

<Stig takes a swig and brushes some sand off his hammer.>

"ACH, ayyyyyyyyyyyy."

Elgan Dreadwood wrote:

"Oh goody. Ah needs a showuh." Elgan grins as he keeps up with the ape easily. (Doing the Disney/Tarzan walk, swing, surf trick on the trees.)

You sense.....an inexplicable sameness about all of these trees.

It's odd, notable.

"Stoatin place fur a wee nip an' a speel ay skinny dippin'."

One of the dire apes ambles up along side stiggy....he starts imploring for some whiskey by reaching one long arm out and nudging the dwarf, then gibbering "ook!ook! ook!ook!"

"Aye. Help yerself."

<Stig passes him the flask and strolls off with everyone else alongside the ape, trading incomprehensible and improbable drinking stories.>

<Stig, staying in the background, lays against a tree and has a wee nip, or twenty.>

<Stig hands Beldan a moist towel.>

"Wipe yerself, laddie."

It's funny when you're wasted.

She's "Large" sized.

"Waw. Lass has a mightin box. Aye. Wa dornt ye stick yer heed in an' swatch aroond. Ah'll hauld yer feit, laddie."

Beldan begins searching the apes and the succubus for loot or clues. Perception: 1d20 + 16

"Sae, ur ye gonnae swatch in 'er nethers ur whit?"

<Leans over when Beldan gets to her lower regions...>

<Stig stands around and watches Beldan, helping with a running commentary.>

"Hae ye checked 'er privates. A succubus is likely tae mince things in thaur mair than onie hen Ah hink. 'Main 'en laddie hae swatch noo, loch a man diz."

<Looks at the hammer.>

"Hunk a jobby."

Stig will double move to F15 and engage with the b##~@. No attack.

Ape 2
releases Stiggy.

attacks Gjetost;

He's gonna wish he didn't do that. ED: crap is he dead?

1d20 + 20 ⇒ (13) + 20 = 33

Counter grapple? To break free.

"Uh oh."

Ape two moves up; does the same to Stiggy. Stiggy is bitten, clawed, gored for 27 h.p. in damage.
The ape attempts to grab The Stigmeister; no aoo;
CMB roll is 45. If this hits stiggy, he is grappled, and the thing pulls him 5 feet forward, and he takes 9 h.p. damage from the heart with a mouth hanging from its chest.

Stig is grappled.

Ok! Stig charges to L16.

1d20 + 25 + 3 + 2 ⇒ (13) + 25 + 3 + 2 = 43 >>> 2d6 + 31 ⇒ (5, 2) + 31 = 38

Am I hasted? If so another +1 to attack and AC.

"I think she likes you Stig."

"Ye spick Infernal, laddie? Ur Demonic?"

*HICCUP*

"Whatever it is 'en? Jist soonds loch a chile's babblin' tae me."

*HICCUP*

"Ur she has some kin' ay weird speech defect."

*HICCUP*

"Ah've heard a retardid orc spick better."

*HICCUP*

"Anyhoo, some kimmers loch a cheil wi' meat oan heem."

*HICCUP*

Haha. S P I C K is swear filtered. LOL.

*whew*

Stig dialogue edited in above...

The three apes move forward, at doublemove or less,

and the succubus singlemoves as well, flying now 10 feet up in the air.

She looks at Stiggy;
"Dwarf--destroy the golem. Now."

d.c. 25 wil save for the Stiggmeister, and.....group's up!!!

Whoa. <Kruelaid looks forebodingly at Wod's character sheet.>

1d20 + 8 ⇒ (19) + 8 = 27

Bi@tCh!

"Ye glaikit feckin' slut."

*HICCUP*

"Yoo're gonnae hae tae fin' anither moron..."

*HICCUP*

"... tae destroy th' glaikit golem...."

*HICCUP*

"Nae gang buck yerself."

Stig's pretty wasted, but he has the vague feeling that he hasn't hit anything with his hammer yet--all is forgotten in an fog of alcohol and narcotics. Nor for that matter does he remember what the hammer does, just that it does something sort of magical if it really wallops someone.

Aso, Stig, Wod... there's a pattern here, I just can't put my finger on it.

<Trembling in anticipation.>

*HICCUP*

"I'm not going to even dignify your rude query with a response, you little guttersnipe.

Does.....this one speak for you all?"

"Ye..."

*HICCUP*

"feckin..."

*HICCUP*

"...aright!..."

*HICCUP*

"aaaa.... JOBBY!"

*HICCUP*

"Uh oh."

"HEY!! DWARF!! WHAT AM YOU LAFF AT!!!"

*Giggle*

"You..."

*Giggle*

"You... you have..."

*Giggle*

"Feck it."

dungeonmaster heathy wrote:

You can take any space in the yellow square you like;

E16

Stealth 1d20

<Stig rolls forward silently, then breaks out in laughter...>

*Giggle*

"HEehehehehheeheeeeheeeheee"

Top ay th' feckin' page coal munchars.

Pip's small, nondescript; he avoids detection for the nonce.

Ape
SO, WHO AM YOUZE GUYS? YOU AM WORK FOR EEFREEKS?

the other two apes start bouncing around in place; grunting like.

<Starts to speak... then...>

"Hahahahahahaha. *cough* HohohhohohOHOHOHOHOhohohoh..."

Stiggy notices he's standing on solid ice; he can see the ocean underneath though.

<Stiggy stops laughing, looking down nervously.>

"Whoa. Ah needs to lose some stones."

You can take any space in the yellow square you like;

E16

Stealth 1d20 ⇒ 2

<Stig rolls forward silently, then breaks out in laughter...>

What are you guys, 13th level?...

Aye. And killed hundreds of beasties.

<Stig steps through the portal, giggling senselessly.>