Shri Tamana's page

If what you say about warhorn is true, it is surprising that there are almost no results on Google for "warhorn" and "ada complianace" or "ada compliant." Or anything relevant about warhorn and screen readers or incompatible devices.

Has anyone but you made this complaint about/ or to Warhorn?

It sounds like a technical bug not a callous or ignorant oversight. You are not the only gamer that uses screen reader technology. It seems to be that if screen reader tech didn't work on the site for everyone, there would be more of an outcry. If I am wrong, please provide sources that other people have had this problem.

And, if nothing else, organizers can sign people up on Warhorn.

Paizo as a company is very respectful and accommodating to people with disabilities, and would make sure that people who need accommodations aren't "sidelined." Especially if a person were to actually contact them and ask for it.

Coming onto an online forum about the convention being announced, making bold claims, and threatening lawsuits is not an appropriate way to handle this.

- an annual PaizoCon attendee since 2010, and a person with a disability.

Not everything is showing the discount. http://paizo.com/store/byCompany/r/rogueGeniusGames/pathfinderRPG/purpleDuc kGames/other

Explaining them to someone new to Pathfinder.

Osirian = Egypt
Qadira = 1000 arabian nights
Land of the Linnorm Kings = Vikings
Tian Xia = Asia, with all of the different ethnicities and cultures
Mwangi = African native tribes
Vudra = India before islam
Shoanti = native americans

Varsians = ??

Taldan = aristocracy/empire in decline

Galt = French Revolution
Shackles = Pirates

Cheliax = Devil worshippers

Realm of the Mammoth Lords = primitive man + mammoths

and so on.

There are also 2 in the Pathfinder RPG general discussion thread from almost a half hour ago that I flagged, in addition to the insane amount in the Paizo General Discussion

Liking! My players are at the Abbey, so I'm starting to prep the next book. Thanks for this!

I would like to know how a player can find these markets/items), and it'd be nice to have a short write up of two-three of them. The Dusk Market in Westcrown would be interesting, because it is never in the same place, and it's always in the dangerous (undead/bandit/monster infested) district of the city. How would a player know where to find it?

I realize the fine Paizo folks are doing their best but, I'm at work and took a lunch to try and schedule now with things pushed back an hour I kind of get screwed.

My husband is in the same boat (minus the going home early). He had a meeting from 1:30-2:30 that he pushed back to get on here. We don't share passwords, otherwise I'd sign up for him.

I'm really not envious of how stressed the Paizo staff probably is right now. Take a deep breath guys! We are just confused and/or anxious, but we'll get over it. :)

Considering the issues years past, I do think it'd be better to have the lottery results available, then have event trading and open registration a day later. Like RyanH set, one set of problems at a time.

Room found for Northron with us. :)

As an archivist, I am very much looking forward to this. :)

You, sir, just revitalized the interest of two jaded GMs (3 & 4 star) in PFS!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!

:( I will miss your painting classes at PaizoCon. I hope you do make it to PaizoCon still. It'll be a whole lot different, not being an employee - lots more relaxing!

I wish you both the best and hope this change will bring out the best in your creative efforts.

Good luck in law school Jodi!

In no particular order:

Continents: Arcadia (Valenhall, Elesomare, Canorus, and Anchor's End), Azlanti ruins and the Sun Temple Colony, Casmaron (Vudra, Iobaria), Southern Garund (Dehrukani, Nurvatchta), Crown of the World

Areas: Darklands, The Mordant Spire, Field of Maidens, Mana Wastes, Mediogalti Island

Cities: Kaer Maga (just because it's awesome)

Inner Sea Countries: Isger, Nidal, Thuvia, Geb, Isle of Jalmarey, Hermea, Alkenstar, Numeria, Druma

I LOVE the idea of giving boons online. I don't think it should be a big chance of getting race boons, however. Give a variety of boons, with one or two race boons thrown in, like at cons.

I like the idea being thrown around of giving boons based on how many tables you've run/played, but 10 is much too low.

Race boons may be given to Con goers 10% of the time. However, cons are only a few times a year for most people, sometimes once. Some people go to a lot of cons and have a plethora of chronicle boons.

As for the way race boons are given, I think it would be better if they were tied to a specific scenario, similar to how the fetchlings were tied to the Onyx Assault from Paizo Con 2012.

If I was that GM, or even was another player, I'd be taking you off of every list of people to invite for any game, whatever the rolling method.

I would be wary of that style of GM, but I would at least play a little. Walking away from the table like that is just rude, and would be a huge red flag. Have some courtesy at least.

As for playing the stats, yes, yes I would, and I'd enjoy turning those stats into a feasible character for the campaign.

While I liked the cubes, I thought they needed too much GM work to use. Items shouldn't take that much work to use in game.

One thing I'm getting tired of is blood and self-hurting. I'm seeing a trend of blood-related items.

*SQUEE!*

What is the range and target of this ability?

It uses Channel Energy, which is a 30' burst to replicate Breath of Life, a spell which is a one target touch spell.

12. Bat Wings (chicken wings with a black glaze)

13. Bloody Maggot Stew (rice and orzo pasta on top of a thick red soup)

14. Giant Grubworm (bacon and ham wrapped pork tenderloin) - grubworms are from Council of Thieves AP - if your players aren't familiar with them, call them Flesheating Worms

15. Coagulated Blood Dip (beet-based dip)

16. Eyeball Soup (tomato soup with mozzerella and pimento olive "eyeballs")

17. Mice Spaghetti (spaghetti with mice-shaped meatballs with eyes)

I was recently playing a level 1 rogue, with only 2 chronicles who had a brand new wand of cure light. (I didn't get full PA the first game) The rest of the party were also level 1 - about half had brand new characters. None of them had any wands. I used 25 charges in one game AT FIRST LVL- and I was asking the druid to be stingy with it after the first 10.

If you have at least one chronicle sheet and have earned 2 PA, you should have a wand of cure light. In PFS, where players and characters aren't always the same, it is not the responsibility of the rest of the party to pay for your healing.

Beholders (Thank GOD they are not in PF)

ghouls (paralyze/coup d'grace)
shadows/greater shadows
shadow demons (magic jar)
Anything with deeper darkness as a spell-like ability.
Medusa usually terrifies players

And, of course, anything that is more than 2-3 CR of the average party level usually scares the crap out of players, for good reason.

[Edit] And, of course, a Terrasque is really just a way for a gm to say F*** Y*** to a party.

Karik Ter
An actual name of a half-orc PC - not mine. Killed by a maximized heightened meteor swarm. (epic game)

Items for animal companions and familiars, both magical and mundane.

Also, at least a short explanation of what normal magic items can be put on animal companions - for instance, we've often home ruled that a ring can be semi-permanently put onto an animal companion's ear via heal skill and cure light wounds, and the handle animal skill, to make an earring.

Can an amulet be altered to be put onto a dog? Can a belt be used as a large collar for a large companion? Can a ring fit a small snake? Can a cloak be put on an animal? Animals in real life can wear clothes, so why not animal companions?

At some point, the PCs have enough rings of protection, are all wearing belts, etc.

Any enchantments to barding specific to animals. An explanation maybe of what can wear barding and what can't.

[edit: ninja'd, but this is a biggie for me and the groups I've been in]

[edit: Do the items an Eidolon is carrying vanish with the Eidolan when it isn't summoned?]

The players will be going to the Unfurling Scroll, Townhall, and the temple for the research. They are also likely to go to the General Store. There is also the forge - and they may go to the moneylenders if they need to convert a bunch of small coins into higher currency. (I'm giving them silver pieces whenever there is money, so they have to go to moneylender eventually)

Each of these places is a great opportunity for roleplaying.

Additionally, because you need to add more opportunities to gain trust points, using the posting poles is also a great way to add role play opportunities.
Here is a place to get started with those:
http://paizo.com/forums/dmtz43ps?Carrion-Crown-and-Trust-Points

I'm going to have them notice Pevrin hammering the latest post, and give them that handout, along with some of the older ones:

Ravengro Posts:

1) Mr. and Mrs. Czery of Ravengro are pleased to announce the engagement of their eldest daughter, Miss. Dana Czerny to Mr. Kapel Gospod of Tamrivena. The couple will be joined in Holy Matrimony on the (a month and a half after the posting of this)

Mr. Dragomir Burgrin passed away at 10 in the evening on the (two days prior to this posting) He is survived by his widow and two children. His children live in Calilphas. May Pharasma have mercy on his soul.

2) Grozdan Asenov's mare Starfire finally gave birth to a healthy filly. He is requesting suggestions for names.
Little Viktor has fully recovered from the pox. If you have any symptoms, see Father Grimburrow.

3) Mrs. Burgrin is selling the following farming equipment: 1 wheelbarrow, 2 spades, 1 pitchfork, 1 plow with harness, 2 scythe, misc. handtools. She is also selling 1 milk cow, 8 chickens and 2 goats.

4) -- this is posted the day the PCs see it -- Ms. Vai needs two laborers to help repair the leaky roof of the Outward Inn as soon as possible. 2 sp each.
Jaelle Avanki's puppy "Bear" is missing. 6 months old, dark brown. Last seen outside Avanki's General Store. (dog with young template)
Seljak Baron is offereing a 25 gp reward for the death of the wolf or wolves killing his goats. (they are actually badgers - 1 regular, 1 dire)

Dreams are also a great way to get in some flavor. Look through the archives for some ideas. I posted a long flashback to the Harrowstone fire in one of them recently.

BASICALLY,
You want to make the people of Ravengro very weary of strangers, but have them warm up individually, so the players have a reason to want to save Ravengro. You should also really get a feel for Kendra, as she is the hook for the players this book.

Also make sure to have an idea of when the events and optional events are supposed to occur.

Using this idea, here is what I've come up with for my characters. This will put them on rails a bit more than usual, but it is a dream afterall. This is for my 6 players, obviously.

You are all in what seems to be a guard room. [U3] Two of you wake up from cots and the other four see cards and coppers on the table in front of you. (24 coppers total when they come here later) Warden Lyvar Hawkran pokes his head in, says, "Vortch, time to feed the Lopper," and continues his survey of the dungeon level of Harrowstone.

Gurtis Vortch, the captain of the guards, gets up and grabs a bucket with some bread and a water flask. A long rope is attached to the bucket. "Damn I wish they'd kill him already." You hear a call from not too far down the hall. [U4] One of the prisoners is loudly and crudely describing all the things he would like to do to Gurtis Vortch's wife. "If you don't shut your trap this instant, I'm going to haul you off to Ember Maw myself and cremate you alive!" The prisoner quiets down. Perception check DC 15 – you hear a cry of surprise cut short. Within a minute, the prisoners from down the hall are hollering and causing a ruckus. You hear the sounds of the bars being opened.

3 prisoners and The Lopper (levitating – not a wraith, using a mw shortsword)

The Warden runs up from behind you, saying "We can't let them escape!" and pulls a heavy lever on the wall. The prison echoes with the sounds of heavy iron portcullises falling and doors slamming shut. The lift in the middle of the main room quickly retreats to the upper floor.
From behind the Warden, you see a large group of prisoners. One old prisoner is holding a makeshift club that is glowing brightly. He calls out, "That wasn't very nice. (to the prisoners) Take the Warden and the guards hostage. We'll need them to get that lift down." As The Lopper takes the Warden out of sight into the Reaper's Hold, the Warden tells you, "Do what they say for now." [Later he is found on the torture rack in U8]

In addition to the usual brands of letters and numbers on their forearms or necks [alluding to S6], each of these prisoners shows signs of torture – whether strips of blood on their backs, missing fingers, starvation, and random burns. [all from U7]

You are held hostage.

2 prisoners try to climb up the shaft of the life, but are shot down by guards from above. The prisoners yell for the guards to let the lifts down, threatening to kill the hostages. The guards refuse.

You hear a woman's hysterical cries from above. "You have to let them out! My husband is down there!" The lift comes slamming down, killing a couple of the prisoners and one of the guards. (roll a d6 for which PC) She screams "no! I killed him. Lyvar!!!" Her cries get fainter as she is taken away. [to S11]

The lift is becoming filled with prisoners, and from above you hear, "We can't raise the lift, there are prisoners in there! But they are climbing the chains! Two prisoners are shot down by crossbow bolts as they tried to climb the lift's chains. Others quickly take their place. You here a continuous sound from above, and realize what it is when large barrels are tossed from above, knocking the prisoners off of the lift. The barrels break and release copious amounts of oil, creating a large slick.

The Splatter Man walks near the lift and lets out a stream of white missiles, and two guards fall into the pit. Panicked, one of the guards tosses down a torch, which easily lights the slick on fire.
The screams of the prisoners and yourselves are deafening.

Perception check DC 20 – you see the Lopper run towards the oubliette and literally jump in, levitating downwards. [U4]
Perception check DC 25 – you see the Splatter Man stumble from the fire into the "Nevermore Room" and fall into the pit there. [U11]

You all black out, badly burned and smoke heavy in your lungs.

You wake up in Kendra's house, gasping for air and breathing heavily. It is just after dawn.

I would allow it, and my husband has allowed it in past games. In an old epic-level game, the middle-aged wizard became old because they were in a demi-plane where time went really fast. They were actually worried about the wizard dying of old age if they couldn't find a way out fast enough.

From the Campaign Setting Book pg. 185
"One group of souls stands apart, however - atheists who actively denied their own afterlives. Unlike agnostics - whose souls Pharasma judges against their own character without punishment, like many other souls without a pre-determined fate - the truly atheist have, in a way, impacted their souls' solidarity and disrupted their natural ability to migrate through the Astral. Many remain behind as ghosts or similar spirits on the Material Plane, others fall into the hands of fiends, while those who reach Pharasma's palace are locked away within the tombs and graves therein, awaiting an unknown, uncertain fate below Groetus's grim, eternal vigil."

This is the only thing I found that I know of. I do remember a wall in which atheists are stuck in, but my husband says that is only in Forgotten Realms.

Here's some rules Adam Katz came up with for "D&D Children Characters" - four age groups for all the races.

http://www.ccs.neu.edu/home/katz/dnd/kids.html

***Parts of Golarion that aren't in the Inner Sea Region, particularly the other continents and the rest of the Garund continent.

This is being worked upon with the extension of Vudra and Tian Xia, but I'd love to see what is on the western (Arcadia?) and southern edges of the map.

*Epic rules, epic spells, epic prestige classes.

*Other planets, space exploration with magic.

I'm not asking for an adventure, but some more explanation for GMs to work on would help greatly. PCs can greater teleport with vague descriptions and plane shift, but have no idea what's on the other side of Golarion.

This is what I would do. I personally hate it when players read something they aren't supposed to. As a player, I get frustrated when I try to think of how my character would react, not knowing what I know.

If I was absolutely sure that he had read the AP, I would sit him aside and ask him how many of the modules he had read. If he had only read the first module, I would make him sit out the first book, and introduce his character later on. If he had read the whole AP, I would kick him out of the game, politely. I would also suggest that he not read any APs in the future if he wants to continue as a player in my game.

I bought a cute little winged serpent toy at a Ren Faire and want to use it as a prop in PFS (which doesn't allow permanency).

Oh well. I just figure, if you can get Huge, you should be able to get tiny.

Hey, in Rise of the Runelords my GM handed out these awesome "Heroes" of Sandpoint Cards, and went up with every time we saved the town.

I'm going to do something similar in my Carrion Crown game and thought I'd share what I've done. If anyone can make these better looking, that would be awesome - post them here!

Cards to handout for Ravengro Trust - when the PCs reach a certain trust level, the GM asks for their current card and gives them a new one. They first get the disliked card sometime after the first encounter, whenever they realize, through roleplaying, that they are not liked in this town.

Edited Version on Google Docs

Hey, I didn't see stats for Father Grimburrow, and I like to have my major NPCs statted up, so I came up with this.

The Ravengro article doesn't specify his age, but because of his picture I made him venerable. He's not that great in battle, except for healing and against undead, but fighting isn't his role. What do ya'll think?

I used heroic divine NPC stats - which is why his physical stats suck so much. Besides, the guy is 70 years old, of course he's not going to be very nimble. I'm giving him a cane to walk with. I rolled his maximum life span, and rolled high (70+2d20=99), which allows him to be in the campaign for as long as the PCs are. I added his trust and diplomacy DC to leave the Restlands to cast a spell. I gave him heroic NPC gear. I tried to make him very anti-undead, but still be regal and not be fully geared up like an adventurer, because he's just an old priest. He wears the mithral shirt because the world is dangerous and it's light enough to not be obvious under his vestments.

Father Vauran Grimburrow
Venerable male human cleric of Pharasma 7
N medium humanoid (human)
Init -3; Perception +4
DEFENSE
AC 11, touch 7, flat-footed 8 (+5 armor, -3 Dex)
hp 34 (7d8-7+7)
Fort +4 Ref -1, Will +11
OFFENSE
Speed 30 ft.
Melee +1 mithral dagger +3 (1d4-2/19-20/x2)
Ranged dagger +1 (1d4-3 /19-20/x2)
Special Attacks channel positive energy 4d6 (6/day DC 18) (costs 100 gp)
Domain Spell-Like Abilities (CL 7)
Rebuke Death: 7/day Heal 1d4+3 (7/day on a creature below 0 hit points.
Gentle Rest: 7/day Stagger undead for 4 rounds or living for 1 round as melee touch attack. Living creatures already staggered fall asleep for one round instead.
Cleric Spells Prepared (CL 7) concentration +11
4th discern lies, divination + 1 domain (cure critical wounds or death ward)
3rd magic vestment, searing light, daylight, +1 domain (cure serious wounds or speak with dead)
2nd remove paralysis, delay poison, calm emotions, augury +1 domain (cure moderate wounds or gentle repose)
1st shield of faith, sanctuary, remove fear, hide from undead, detect undead + domain (cure light wounds or deathwatch)
0th stabilize, detect poison, light, virtue
Domains (Healing, Repose)
MORALE:
Father Grimburrow casts magic vestment (included in stats) when leaving the temple itself, including in the Restlands. He casts shield of faith if he senses trouble (7 min for +3 deflection). He avoids fighting anything except undead.
Statistics
Str 6, Dex 4, Con 8, Int 14, Wis 18, Cha 16
Base Atk + 5; CMB +3; CMD 10
Feats Channel Smite, Iron Will, Turn Undead, Selective Channeling (3), Improved Channel
Skills
Heal +16, Knowledge (arcane) +6, Knowledge (history) +6, Knowledge (planes) +6, Knowledge (religion) +12, Linguistics +6, Profession (mortician) +8, Sense Motive +14, Spellcraft +6
Languages Common, Celestial, Infernal, Abyssal
Combat Gear holy water vials (x2), mithral shirt, +1 mithral dagger, dagger, potion of cure light wounds, potion of cure moderate wounds
Other Gear silver holy symbol of Pharasma, cleric's vestments, healer's kit, walking cane, incense and offerings worth 25gp (for divination), phylactery of faithfulness, scroll case with one or two scrolls from The Bones Land in a Spiral (496 gp in desk)
SPECIAL ABILITIES
Rebuke Death (Sp)
Father Grimburrow can touch a living creature as a standard action, healing it for 1d4+3 damage. You can only use this ability on a creature that is below 0 hit points. He can use this ability 7 times per day.
Healer's Blessing(Su)
All cure spells are treated as if they were empowered, increasing the amount of damage healed by half (+50%). This does not apply to damage dealt to undead with a cure spell. This does not stack with the Empower Spell metamagic feat.
Gentle Rest (Sp)
Father Grimburrow's touch can fill a creature with lethargy, causing a living creature to become staggered for 1 round as a melee touch attack. If he touches a staggered living creature, that creature falls asleep for 1 round instead. Undead creatures touched are staggered for 4 rounds. He can use this ability 7 times per day.

Load: 17lbs
Light load: 20 lbs, Medium: 40 lbs, Heavy: 60 lbs, Lift 120 lbs, Drag 360 lbs

Spellcasting costs:
70gp x spell level. He will not leave the temple or Restlands to cast a spell (Trust 36 needed, Diplomacy DC 30). He gives healing for free when the PCs hit Trust score 31, and only charges for expensive materials. Focuses add 1/10 of the cost of the item to the spell (excluding divine focus). A channel energy costs 100 gp. He doesn't charge for the first encounter, and he doesn't charge if he heals without being asked.

Age Effects: -6 to Str, Dex, and Con, +3 to Int, Wis, Cha (he is 70 and can live to be 99)
Human +2 on Dex, 4th level boost to Int

APG: Court Bard Archetype = jester.

I always thought "See in darkness" meant that their darkvision was not limited by ft., instead by the horizon, like seeing in light is.

Also, it allows seeing in deeper darkness. Dark Stalkers have this ability too.

I have no idea about color, though.

Gnomes of Golarion says that gnomes can't breed with other races. Otherwise you'd see a ton of half-gnomes, considering their love of variety.

My players LOVED this encounter that I put together and said it was very memorable. I LOVED running it. It allows player ingenuity. It also was a way for the players to pick up two fame points (I hadn't done two of the optional encounters in a previous module and this module.)

So after the mayor's mansion gets destroyed, the city is supposed to be in a bit of chaos, at least near the newly ruined estate.

I didn't convey this very well to my players, and noticed a few passages that I missed that mentioned chaos & looting. (see the 4th mod's bestiary for looting)

So I came up with an idea to help convey that message.

They had gone into the ruins for 2 days in a row, getting all the way to the succubus.

The next day, as they were walking to the ruins, they began to smell something burning. Then they heard screaming.

I had previously drawn a map of a busy city street, complete with various buildings and a asmodean water fountain. (I made that up to help with the encounter)

I placed a bunch of mini d6s all over to represent the amount of people in the streets, and included several actual miniatures to represent people they may pay attention to, for reasons of being shady, or just interesting.

As they approach the scene they see several things:

* Two buildings partially on fire (only one-three squares each).
* Two Ukobach devils setting these fires. (see bestiary of 1st mod)
* A few unorganized looters (in my case, they were all tieflings)
* A child (looks like a halfling from a distance) stuck on the second floor balcony of a building that is on fire. - the parents are on the street, crying for their child)

I added the possibility of several of the miniatures to be helpful characters. When the PC bard fascinated the crowd of people to get them to stop looting, panicking, and try to get them to leave (I allowed the mechanic of fascinate to allow the bard to get the crowd to leave the street), a woman on the opposite side of the street, who had been dancing for money with her brother, who had been singing, started to also fascinate the crowd. She had a lower DC, so didn't get as many people, but helped out a little. After some role-playing, she and her brother eventually became the bard's followers (Leadership feat).

The Ukobachs animated the fire to create fire elementals, and used their fire jump ability to stay away from melee combat for a while. This made the combat much more fun by lasting a little longer than usual. Once I had them "disappear" - only to reappear when they set the smithy's building on fire, which was where they came out in. The players appreciated the creativity of that.

The players had just gotten a hold of a wand of quench, and used it to good purpose. Unfortunately for them, the devils don't have the fire subtype. They also summoned a water elemental - which really helped a lot (douses as it touches fire, so can douse 40ft of fire in a double move). They also looked around for vessels that could hold the water from the fountain. I had a barrel of pickles be nearby. After tossing the pickles onto the fire, two PCs went to fill it up. The elemental and the quench wand worked first, but this was a fun way for fighter types to help.

I gave one fame point for defeating the devils and putting out the fires, and one for saving the child.

I used the rules from the Catastrophies article in the last module. It created "explosive fires," in the words of one of my players. The fires wouldn't grow for a round or two, then could grow in two or three squares in all directions!

I didn't use the rules on collapsing buildings because the PCs took care of the fire before a couple minutes went by. I did use the smoke inhalation rules to have the child pass out after a couple rounds. This got the monk to jump up to the balcony's edge, and grab the kid before "slow falling" down the side of the building. After a successful heal check (low DC - arbitrary), she told the thankful parents how to care for her the next couple of days. (If they had wanted to heal her then, a lesser restoration would have done it)

Oh - I made the areas with the most people partially difficult terrain (half speed, but five foot steps ok) - once the crowd cleared, it became regular terrain.

I just thought I'd share this since it was so successful. If you use it, please tell me what you did differently, or what your players came up with!

A) Only one question should have been asked, so answer the first. (That's easier anyways)

B) If the cleric tells anyone how Norgorber passed the starstone test, he will be betraying a well-kept secret of his god, the diety of secrets, and should be punished by his god for doing such. If he doesn't tell, then there's no reason to worry. Norgorber would likely praise him for learning such a well-kept secret, but only if he can keep the secret.

Let the player make the choice, instead of DM fiat - no one believes you or remembers.

Hm... Swimsuit/Pin-up Calendar

January - Amiri
February - Lavender Lil
March - Seelah
April - Janiven
May - Shelyn
June - Lini
July - Kyra
August - Seoni
September - Harrower
October - Witch
November - Oracle
December - Merisiel

OR, to make it a Golarian calendar:

Abadius - Merisiel (iconic)
Calistril - Lavender Lil (SD npc)
Pharast - Seoni (iconic)
Gozran - Lini (iconic)
Desnus - Harrower (presige iconic)
Sarenith - Kyra (iconic)
Erastus - Janiven (CoT)
Arodus - Seelah (iconic)
Rova - Amiri (iconic)
Lamashan - the witch (players guide iconic)
Neth - oracle (players guide iconic)
Kuthona - Noticula (SD minor god)

-- idea was ninja'd

Someday you'll find yourself, and will you be disappointed.

I'd like to say I'm glad you’re here; I'd like to say it.

Someday you'll go far, and I hope you stay there.

You have an open mind, and a mouth to match.

You have such a big mouth; you could eat a banana sideways.

Are you always this stupid, or are you making a special effort today?

***Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want to be a good actor?

You are a wickedly obtuse oaf and a flaccid, soul-destroying tainted spawn of a syphilitic swamp hog.

You are a cruelly reprehensible rogue and a naive, gossip-mongering pimple on the face of beauty.

You are a precociously gluttonous sycophant and a preposterous, mattress-soiling obfuscation of all that is good.

You are a monstrously foolish blackguard and a hopeless, mucous-eating pulp of stultifying inanity.

You are an unconscionably incorrigible glutton and a dastardly, odiously suffocating piece of excrement attached to a dog's posterior.

You are a conspicuously boorish contemptible delinquent and a maniacal, orgasm faking tasteless amalgam of dross, drivel and malarkey.

You are a lamentably sybaritic swine and a primitive, coma-inducing mean-spirited poltroon.

You are a confoundedly lecherous lecher and a debauched, buttock-rimming aberration of nature.

You are a grievously pedestrian parasite and a demented, blood-freezing malfunctioning little twerp.

You are a grievously perverted peon and a deplorable, Pesh-addicted glob of grease.

You are a precociously gluttonous sycophant and a primitive, chronically flatulent conglomerate of intellectual constipation.

You are an unequivocally ignominious heathen and a vapid, feeble-minded parasite on the state's recourses.

You are an outrageously hideous derelict and a reprehensible, simple-minded sub-literate simpleton.

You are a lamentably subliterate subhuman and a primitive, coma-inducing molester of small furry animals.

You are an unconscionably incompetent fiend and a revolting, air-polluting arbitrary dereliction of genetics.

You are an unutterably demented mouth breather and a narcissistic, urine-reeking display of indecency.

You are an outrageously ignorant dolt and a reprehensible, simple-minded mediocrity afflicted with mental retardation.

You are an incalculably insignificant imbecile and a decrepit, nostril-offending cause of nightmares in small children.

You are a monstrously foolish barbarian and a hopeless, mucous-eating mass of existential impotence.

You are an irredeemably insufferable dullard and a loathsome, disease-ridden inflictor of misery on all who cross your path.

You are an unconscionably incompetent fiend and a revolting, air-polluting arbitrary dereliction of genetics.

You are a devilishly myopic moron and a feculent, irredeemably boring plotless melodrama of uneventful life.

You are an unequivocally inept heathen and a vacuous, maliciously malodorous buggering bum bandit.

You are a wickedly naive narcissist and a fiendish, blood-curdling festering boil on the butt of humanity.

You are an unutterably debauched misdemeanant and a myopic, all-befouling personification of vulgarity.

You are a grievously pedestrian parasite and a deplorable, Pesh-addicted deplorable calamity of birth.

You are a devilishly miserable miscreant and a malingering, sock-sucking lamentable mistake by your parents.

You are an unequivocally inept half-wit and a vacuous, maliciously malodorous proof that Pharasma has a disturbed sense of humor.

You are an unconscionably indecent glutton and a dastardly, odiously suffocating spawn of a whore and a thousand maniacs.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

Your lucky to be born beautiful, unlike me, who was born to be a big liar.

As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

**I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have anywhere to put it!

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.