Sebastian's Publicist wrote: Pitchfork Salesman wrote: Daniel Gunther 346 wrote: What models of pitchforks are available? Do you happen to have the UStick-it Pitchfork with the Polycarbide Handle and Carbon Polymer Fork? If so, count me in for two!!! Fine choice, sir! Tell your friends about us!
And if the torch salesman doesn't show up soon, I'll start selling the magical Flaming pitchforks! Got 'em off a wizard who was in a hurry to retire after an extended stay in some mist-shrouded land I ne'er heard tell of afore.
PITCHFORKS! Ge-e-et your pitchforks!!! Sir, you appear to be a reasonable salesman and I was wondering if I might inquire about, for a very reasonable fee, putting a small multi-hued imprint of a defiantly posed unicorn on your product? It's for a good cause, sir. I would be happy to sponsor Sebastian's Pretty Flaming Pitchfork line, for a *reasonable* fee.
Daniel Gunther 346 wrote: What models of pitchforks are available? Do you happen to have the UStick-it Pitchfork with the Polycarbide Handle and Carbon Polymer Fork? If so, count me in for two!!! Fine choice, sir! Tell your friends about us!
And if the torch salesman doesn't show up soon, I'll start selling the magical Flaming pitchforks! Got 'em off a wizard who was in a hurry to retire after an extended stay in some mist-shrouded land I ne'er heard tell of afore.
PITCHFORKS! Ge-e-et your pitchforks!!!
Hurry-hurry-hurry! Get 'em for they're gone! Best deals on best PITCHFORKS! Fork 'em; pitch 'em! Can't do both without a pitchfork!
taig wrote: New podcast next week. So posteth The Jade. ::Refunds customers and takes his wares to the APG threads::
::rides his largest wagon into thread::
Cook multiples at a time with a PITCHFORK!
Long, heat resistant handle! Buy one for yourself, buy another for a friend in the mob!
You ne'er tried my vorpal pitchfork. I first marketed it as a vorpal pitchswork, but it didn sell too hot. Also, the iron wood handle does bludgeoning damage!
Teeming Peasantry wrote: Pitchfork Salesman wrote: Get your pitchforks! Can't pitch 'em without a fork!
PITCHFORKS for SALE!!!
We'll take two dozen, please. Extra pointy if you have them. ::Starts selling Vorpal Pitchforks, Pitchforks of Speed, Flaming Pitchforks, Keen Pitchforks, Pitchforks of Greater Piercing...::
Callous Jack wrote: *steals pitchfork* ::Looks up account number, charges pitchfork plus "convenience" fee::
Get your pitchforks! Can't pitch 'em without a fork!
PITCHFORKS for SALE!!!
Pitchforks...get your PITCHFORKS!
Flaming Angry Mobs can't protest without PITCHFORKS!
Fine quality, great price!
Vult Wrathblades wrote: Pitchfork Salesman wrote: ::Rents booth in thread:: Booth rental costs one constructive comment, otherwise "I say goodday!" I like both paladins and fighters, so everybody wins.
GET your PITCHFORKS! Quality German stainless steel! Buy now and get a coupon for the torch salesman! PITCHFORKS for SALE!
::Rents booth in thread::
Get your pitchforks! Can't have a mob action without your pitchforks!
Pitchforks!
Get your pitchforks!
Can't have mob action without 'em!
Is disappointed to find that he filled-in the blanks wrong, and there is no business to be had here.
*Rides into the thread with a cart full of his wares*
Is happy to see another outlet for his wares, sets to hawking pitchforks with a will.
PICTHFORKS! Get your pitchforks!
Can't have a riot without one!
Get one for yourself and one for your friend...a back-up might save you in the end!
Only pillory will fix this!
If only I'd gone into the rotten produce business!
Sure thing...but you should know, the classic three prong also comes in a Flaming model.
No need to buy torches if your pitchfork is Flaming!
Get your PITCHFORKS!
Can't have a mob without a pitchfork...
No self-respecting rioter should be without one!
Get your anti-Locutus pitchforks!
You can't go wrong with three prong!
Smart man...with your eighth purchase, you qualify for this coupon, which is good for a discount with the torch salesman.
Do you want pics?
Do you want blog?
Buy yourself a pitchfork and form yourselves a mob!
GET YOUR FLA-MING PITCHFORKS!
Can't kill a troll without the fire.
Get 'em while they're hot!
Peeks in, checking for business.
Pitchforks!
Pitchforks!
Can't demand your news without a pitchfork!
Whoa, there, Mister. Quality products don't come cheap!
Lessee sir, we got your basic masterwork pitchforks, and also:
Flaming Pitchfork, +2
Pitchfork, Flumphbane, +3
Greater Pitchfork of Persuasion, +5
Pitchfork of Ecclesial Defenestration, +8
Aw...vorpal, ya say? Nah, pitchforks can't be vorpal. But ah do got this here Keen Pitchfork of Speed, +1.
Sebastian wrote: Hey, this is sounding more and more like an angry mob every minute. Where's that pitchfork salesman when we need him? G-e-t your pitchforks!
Good for futile threatening of Paizo staff!
Good for rapid deflating of flumphs!
High quality PITCHFORKS! Don't be fooled by the imitations!
A Flaming Angry Fan Mob wrote: Can I audition as loyal mob for the elite? I promise to shout down anyone who disagrees with you! And my pitchforks are always shiny! As his/their supplier, I can attest to that!
Only use Pitckfork™ quality brand pitchforks!
Here ya are, Mr. Dretching, good luck with those slaads.
Send your friends!
Giant slaad forks, get your giant slaad forks.
Oh no, they've just been selling briskly.
Opens bag of holding and draws out more product while keeping a close eye on the thief.
I see you have an eye for salesmanship as well as practical matters, sir.
Would you consider a second career as a torch seller?
Great!
Use them to clear the victims of, without infecting yourself.
Here ya go!
By the way, pitchforks work well on both Plants and Zombies!
No need to crowd folks, there's plenty of pitchforks for all.
Miss America has endorsed my line of pitchforks...get 'em while they're in stock!
Perfect for hauling pitchforks or mob members armed with pitchforks!
Step right up, folks!
There's a reason that a classic is a classic! Feel this ergonomic hand-tool interface! Behold these clean, classic lines; these long piercing teeth! Think of how reach will give you the advantage you are looking for. Get yourselves the all-purpose weapon that has been discerning mobs' number one choice since before the 18th century!
By the way folks, I'm still looking for a partner who has a good line of personal mobile fire sources...
GET your pitchforks! Fine quality pitchforks!
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