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RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16. Goblin Squad Member. RPG Superstar 6 Season Marathon Voter, 7 Season Marathon Voter, 8 Season Marathon Voter, 9 Season Star Voter. Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber. Organized Play Member. 1,047 posts (1,347 including aliases). 2 reviews. 1 list. No wishlists. 1 Organized Play character. 16 aliases.


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Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16

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Yes! Thank you for the review.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16

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I'm still here too.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16

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Mike Welham wrote:

Thank you for the review, Endzeitgeist!

I'm glad you liked the snow globes. :)

Yes, Thanks again for the review and I'm still very pleased you enjoyed the feats in Winter's Chosen.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Locke1520

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New viewers and veterans alike are welcome to offer constructive commentary in this thread.

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Another couple tips.
Please preview your entry. The Preview button offers a clean look at how your entry will look to the voters and also provides a word count. I've seen a few items whose names don't match the header and formatting issues from bbc code errors that could have been caught with a preview.

I think this often (but not necessarily always) comes from designers who work on their entries right in the submission field. Which is another habit I would recommend against.

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Okay so participating RPG Superstar's snark thread makes it really hard for me to remain August Positive which has been very important to since I read that article 3 years ago. So rather than wade into the temptation of the snark thread I'd like to start a more positive feedback thread.

Groundrules:

  • We still need to keep things vague. Don't call out specific examples from actual items seen this year.
  • Keep your feedback constructive. Offer solutions when possible--but again keep it general.
  • Don't be a jerk.
  • if you are reading this thread as a contestant, I cannot promise what is included here won't sting. If you think a comment might be about your item. DO NOT DISQUALIFY YOURSELF...SAY NOTHING. Take the advice offered here in the compassionate way it is intended and apply it to next year or future rounds (if you make it that far).

    So with all that in mind here goes.

  • From the tiny sampling I've seen so far quality does seem to be up. Good on everyone!

  • I've already seen two items using illegal sources. Please do yourself a favor and read the rules for each round. In years past these would not have been illegal but the rules changed this year again don't assume you know what you can and cannot use. Check the rules.

  • Attempt to use the proper formatting. A couple of the entries I've seen look like they might have been written up for another edition of the game because most of the required info was present but the order was odd. One of these had enough mojo I upvoted it despite the flaws but I don't know that I'll be able to justify doing it often.

  • I cannot think of an official source that uses hast, willst, whilst or other similar words...I'd avoid it.

  • Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16

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    Tira'Mari-Sue Tyler-D'oh!Durden wrote:
    Ah, she tricked Owen into scribing his signature on her own limb, thus empowering her spell combat touch attack with his own truename to breech his magic wards and defenses. Exxxxxxxxxxxcellent.

    I happen to know she also tricked Neil and Mark in the same manner...(again on her hands...sheesh people)

    Liberty's Edge

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    Yes, Thank you for the review Endzeitgeist!

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    Curaigh wrote:

    Hmmm... If one of them does have the title & former Top 32 Andrew or Nick get in next year, are we seeing the beginning of a Dynasty?

    History folks, its happening now!

    Curaigh in the case of the Marlowe household this is the last Superstar year for us. So our dynasty ends with Monica thoroughly destroying my two Top 16 tags with at least a Top 4 tag... *grin* ...and I couldn't be prouder.

    Spoiler:
    Well it ends here unless one of our kids decides to enter then you never know. Could be multi-generational.

    Anyway, I'm happy with the work I've been getting and don't really feel the need to compete again. Next year I'll be happy to just root everyone on from the sidelines. Then too as an added bonus I'll feel free to talk and express my opinions on every round.

    Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Locke1520

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    Way to go Honey!!

    Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16

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    Yes, thanks for the review!

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    Way to go Dear!

    Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16

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    motteditor wrote:
    Hurrah, I can finally express excitement at my first Paizo credit! (Along with a lot of other Superstar competitors...)

    I know. I'm very excited too.

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    Lady Firedove wrote:
    Also, although I've never played Shackled City, I just looked up the Cauldron map online, and I love it! It would definitely be a fun city to play around in for a while.

    Even if you don't run the AP (which was really good), the setting material on the city itself is almost worth the price of the HC IMO.

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    Wayfinder is an excellent way to get noticed. Also (like Eric's thread illustrates) many writing opportunities with 3pp are posted right here on the Paizo forums. You can also search your favorite 3pp and see if they have submission guidelines or contact information posted. Then start pitching ideas.

    It also helps if you are active on the forums and on social networks. A blog can also be a great start*. If you can get out there and demonstrate you are a good communicator and have interesting ideas you may find someone will approach you either to off you work or to point you in the direction of opportunities (like open calls) you might have missed.

    *edit:
    I was reviewing several competitors Paizo profiles and I must have mixed you up with another contestant when I said you had a blog. Sorry for any confusion this may have caused.

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    A decent way to include puzzles might be to add it to the list of things a designer should add to the encounter round.

    For example, what if the contest rules wrote:
    Your encounter must include a monster from r3 and a new map (not from r2) and at least one trap, hazard or puzzle.

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    Monica Marlowe wrote:
    Thank you judges for your kind words.

    Yea!!!

    Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Locke1520

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    Feros wrote:
    Much worth reading.
    Feros also wrote:
    So be gentle with them, OK? :)

    And if not precisely gentle. Then at the very least treat them with the respect and courtesy you would like to receive if you were in their place.

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    Sadly dear it's always been this way...That's why there is traditionally a bar, blankets and hot cocoa.

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    The Superstars should all have their maps in now and the judges are busy making their initial comments for Tuesday's next big reveal...In the meantime tell us about your favorite RPG Map.

    One of my recent favorites was the city of Cauldron. Sure we all knew how that was going to end from the start but that was half the fun.

    Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Locke1520

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    Tempest Bow
    Aura strong transmutation; CL 12th
    Slot none; Price 79,700 gp; Weight 3 lbs.
    Description
    Carved in the shape of stylized storm clouds and gusting winds, this +3 composite longbow (+3 Str) is enameled in roiling blue-greens and grays. When an arrow is nocked and the bow drawn the wielder's clothes flutter about as if caught in a strong wind.

    Three times per day, a tempest bow can fire an arrow with hurricane force. The wielder makes a standard attack roll as a full round action. All creatures Medium size or smaller in a 100 foot line along the trajectory of the attack may be blown away as if they had been caught in a hurricane wind. If the attack roll is successful the target takes an additional 1d6 points of damage and suffers a penalty to all checks to resist being blown away equal to the wielder’s Strength modifier. An arrow fired from a tempest bow while this power is active is destroyed.
    Construction
    Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, control weather or control winds; Cost 40,200 gp

    Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Locke1520

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    Congratulations all!

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    I'll also leave this link here as something you all might find of interest as well: Sean K Reynolds: Magic Item Advice PDF and Review

    Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Locke1520

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    Creativity first. Then Readability, Rules, Formatting and finally my many miscellaneous biases.

    Admittedly I have found formatting is a pretty good indicator of failures on more than one of my previous criteria. Admittedly there are a few with sub-par formatting that score high on creativity and thus earn my vote but they are rare.

    I do not count parallel design against an item either. Whether it's filigree, earth breakers, or animated snowmen I try to take each item as it appears in it's given pairing no matter how tired I am of voting for Frosty the Snowman knock offs.

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    Oh parallel design.

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    Brigg wrote:

    Your fantastic and wonderful concept is unfortunately overshadowed by a glaring design flaw. And I mean GLARING design flaw.

    I am still upvoting you because even though I noticed this flaw, the execution of your item is just...wow. You have something there, and it's just...almost there. it just needed a little more revision.

    I WILL be commenting specifically on your item after the voting.

    I would wait and see if the designer puts this item up for review in the critique thread. I'm sure you just want to be helpful but some designers will have put themselves out there as far and possibly farther than they are comfortable with.

    Just something to think about.

    *Edit* This is what I get for not refreshing the page before replying. Sorry Brigg did not mean to dogpile.

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    Saw mine. We still haven't seen my wife's.

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    I LOVE this item! Not sure it's superstar on its own. The powers are not super exciting but the description/flavor is spot on...and I love it. Good on you designer!

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    Mikko Kallio wrote:

    To answer David's question: Yes, you are allowed to ask. But no, we are not allowed to answer that question. :-D

    I can ask Owen if it's ok to post the percentages for each magic item category (staves, rods, rings... wondrous items...)

    I see what you did there.

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    I'm with Jacob. Don't second guess yourself now. Take this time to think ahead...hone those mapping skills and prepare for round 2 even if you don't make the top 32 it's valuable design practice.

    Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Locke1520

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    Congratulations to all our new contestants!

    You all have made a bold and exciting decision. It can be tough to put your work out there for everyone to read and critique but it can also be very rewarding (and not just if you make the Top 32). This is a chance to learn and grow not only as a designer but as a player or GM. I wish you all the best of luck and hope you have a good time.

    Welcome aboard!

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    Jeffrey Swank wrote:
    About to send in my first entry ever to RGPSS... (how many times can I recheck this thing?)

    Not enough and too much. Frightening but you can do both simultaneously.

    Welcome aboard and good luck.

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    Jacob W. Michaels wrote:
    Nice, Joey. Be careful, though, it's addictive!

    Very. I'm trying to not enter this year...but it's sooo tempting.

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    I don't care.

    We can't really know if something was re-purposed or not so all I'm worried about is: Is it cool?

    If you are inclined to think that repurposing an item is lazy design then I hope you consider that what looks like a repurposed item...might not be.

    Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16

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    FWIW

    At my table the "reload" step has always played out at the top of the round...player draws ammunition and fires not fires and draws more ammunition. Thus if the player decides to change weapons on the next round then the character is only dropping the bow.

    As far as I have ever seen the rules do not say what order things must happen in and draw-fire makes more sense to us. SO at our table a wielded bow is a bow in hand.

    Look at it another way.

    I have an archer we'll call him Legolas who has the requisite feats to do all the stuff you're arguing about and gets up to 5 AoO if conditions are right.

    Using the arrow ready requirement:
    So lets assume all the conditions are ideal and I have an arrow ready 5 AoO Fire-reload, fire-reload, fire-reload, fire-reload, fire-reload. but if I don't have an arrow ready in that same time Legolas stands around stupidly? Is he so confused by an unloaded bow that he loses all 5 AoOs? Or does it make more sense to say it doesn't matter when you reload and let the player have the shots. Is it so broken to let the player using shuriken "be ready to throw" and empty handed?

    Sometimes RAW don't have the answer which is why we have GMs.

    Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16

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    Made a blog post this morning relating to this product as well as the Breath of the Heavens relic. In the post I offer optional rules for activating technological relics.

    Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16

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    Sebastian wrote:
    You realize that Eberron will one day be the default setting for D&D, and thus all adventures not set in Eberron should be easily convertible into Eberron with minimal changes.

    You can remember when Sebastian's avatar was a cranky looking dwarf from an Eberron adventure.

    Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16

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    Good Luck Sean and Jodi!

    Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16

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    Sure Owen. This was one of the first feats I wrote for the book and still one of my favorites. Hope you guys enjoy!

    The Genius Guide to Domain Channeling wrote:

    Break Bondage (Domain Channeling; Liberation Domain)

    You can infuse a burst of positive energy energy with the spiritual power of liberty, literally breaking bonds.

    Prerequisite: Cha 13, channel energy class feature, liberation domain.

    Benefit: You can channel energy to deal damage to any physical bonds currently restraining a creature, such as ropes, chains or manacles. Roll your channel damage normally against all restraints in range, ignoring half the restraint’s hardness. If a restraint is reduced to half its normal hit points or less, it gains the broken condition. If the damage you deal would reduce the object to fewer than 0 hit points it is destroyed by this power. Any magical restraint is granted a Fortitude save (DC 10 + channeling dice + Cha modifier) for half damage.

    If restraints have the broken condition, the DC for escape is reduced by 2. Destroyed bonds no longer restrain their captives at all.

    Special: You may use the Selective Channeling feat to exclude targets as usual.

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    Christopher Wasko wrote:
    Mikael Sebag wrote:
    Also, Christopher, Click Here for Wayfinder Submission Info. :)
    Cool, thanks a million! Where would I send pitches?

    This thread is full of terrific advice.

    And if you want to pitch to 3pps visit their websites see what they have to offer and get a feel for what they might be looking for. Some sites have submission guidelines posted. Good luck!

    Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16

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    Your questions have me thinking about the possibility of improved feats too.

    Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2014 Top 16, RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16

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    Bob_Loblaw wrote:
    I have a couple questions about Dual Channeling.

    I'm going to answer these questions the way I would handle them at my table.

    Bob_Loblaw wrote:
    1) Can I use Selective Channeling for each channel energy separately. For example, can I use the Vigor and Combustion Wave abilities but choose different targets for each to not affect?

    I would say yes you can exclude different targets from each channel energy separately but the total number of targets excluded from both effects should not exceed your Charisma modifier.

    Bob_Loblaw wrote:
    2) Can I use Channel Ray and Shape Channel as part of the Dual Channeling? So can I use my normal healing on my allies in a burst and also target the kobolds running down the hall with a line of Skirmish Burst?

    I would only allow a single "shaping effect" per channel use. If a player opted to use Shape Channel it could apply to both effects giving them the same area of effect or it could be applied to only one effect leaving the other effect to function normally. So I would allow your heal/skirmish combo but would not allow two lines aimed in two different directions, for example.

    Bob_Loblaw wrote:
    I'm really digging this book. I'm seeing a ton of potential for new and interesting concepts with very little extra effort on the part of the players and GM. This is a huge win in my book.

    Fantastic! I'm thrilled players (and GMs) are enjoying it.

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    Brian Fruzen wrote:
    Submitted about an hour ago. It really is hard to hit that button. I remember working on my last product and though I really wanted to put out the best product I could, I wasn't really stressed out about whether people would like it or not. With RPGSS, the expectations seem so much higher.

    While the expectations do seem however higher I think it's more that you're out there without a net. As contestants we have to be designer, developer, and editor. The voters are looking for a publishing quality entry. And they should be: This is Superstar. Fact is though, we have to carry the weight of all of those jobs ourselves. Sure we may have a few alpha readers who can catch a few things but they aren't the same.

    So I think you're totally valid in feeling more stress during RPGSS than when you are publishing.

    Strangely though, I'm having a different experience. I'm still really calm (that isn't to say that there haven't been a few nail-biting moments) but it's nothing like 2012 was for me.

    The release of my first 3pp PDF, on the other hand, has been twisting at me. Checking up on it was an even bigger temptation than looking for comments on my entries.

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    I think this is what you were looking for.

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    I'd like to thank everyone who supported my kaliswyrm in the voting booth but I'd also like to thank every one who contributed to the discussion of my monster here even if you disliked it.

    The discussion helps me see where the kaliswyrm worked and where I needed to be clearer. If I have time I'll try to get into more specifics soon. In the meantime here are a few issues I'd like to address briefly now though.

    Tremorsense v. Blindsense: We'll put this firmly in the oops category. The day after I submitted I realized I should have changed this as I had not adequately defined what an "insectoid head" looked like. my original concept was for the Kaliswyrm's head to be brimming with antennae through which it could sense movement. When I realized my error it was too late to change but we live and learn.

    Breathing v. not breathing: I'm still torn on this issue. I intentionally chose to make this a native outside because I want it to really be hungry and not just enjoy eating. But I also wanted this thing to breathe. The no breath SQ seemed like a cheat here I didn't want to take but I can certainly see the arguments for breathless and could be convinced to alter it pretty easily.

    For me though, the kaliswyrm is more like a dolphin or other sea mammal in that it breaths by just breaching the surface of it's home environment and I think with some developement that could have been made clearer. Again we live and learn.

    Scarletrose wrote:

    Kaliswyrm

    Category: Dungeon monster with Urban slapped on it

    I'm going to politely disagree with this assessment. You are welcome to your opinion but you should know I did an absolute dance of joy when urban was announced. Simply because urban environments were where I had always imagined this guy.

    The origin of the Kaliswyrm was a video I saw on Facebook of a sea creature called a bobbit worm. An accompanying article talked about how an aquarium continued to mysteriously lose fish from a particular tank. In order to solve the mystery the staff had to drain the tank and it was discovered that an enormous bobbit worm had been accidentally transported in on the coral reef that provided the fish with a habitat.

    My mind immediately went to monsters and gaming. The question that nagged at me was what if the habitat was a castle or a town and the thing ate people? From that question the Kaliswyrm evolved.

    Dungeons are predictably full of man eating horrors the city not so much.

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    Craig Bonham 141 wrote:
    I know you can't account for everything, that would be unreasonable to ask. But why not hit some of the more popular options? Even if you only do so from your own companies offerings.

    I'm glad you like the concept. I'm a new designer and when I first pitched this idea to Owen it was specifically for just the Core Domains. There were really two main factors in that decision. One, I wasn't entirely certain how long it would take me to write all of these feats and I didn't want to hold up any deadlines. And two, I wasn't certain people would enjoy the concept as much as I do.

    I do have a few commitments on my desk already including another possible Rogue product but I had planned on pitching a sequel to Owen if there seemed to be interest. So if there is let us know and then more domains might be a possibility.

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    Christina Stiles wrote:
    And what is wrong with 45-page books? :)

    Nothing. That's just not the book I wrote :P

    Yet.

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    Whip-crack fast, this black and gold scaled, serpentine wyrm strikes, the massive serrated mandibles atop its eyeless, insectoid head snap closed with devastating force.
    Kaliswyrm CR 3
    XP 800
    NE Medium outsider (native)
    Init +7; Senses tremorsense 60 ft.; Perception +11
    ----- Defense -----
    AC 17, touch 13, flat-footed 14 (+3 Dex, +4 natural)
    hp 22 (3d10+6)
    Fort +5, Ref +6, Will +2
    ----- Offense -----
    Speed 20 ft., climb 15 ft.
    Melee bite +5 (1d10+2 plus nab)
    Ranged spit venom +6 (poison)
    Space 5 ft.; Reach 10 ft.
    Special Attacks spit venom
    ----- Statistics -----
    Str 15, Dex 17, Con 14, Int 6, Wis 13, Cha 10
    Base Atk +3; CMB +5 (+9 drag, +7 grapple); CMD 18 (20 vs. grapple)
    Feats Improved Grapple, Improved Initiative
    Skills Climb +13, Knowledge (local) +1, Perception +11, Stealth +9 (+11 inside it’s lair); Racial Modifiers +1 Knowledge (local), +4 Perception
    Languages common
    SQ extra-dimensional lair, hold breath
    ----- Ecology -----
    Environment warm urban or underground.
    Organization solitary or brood (2-6)
    Treasure standard
    ----- Special Abilities -----
    Extradimensional Lair (Su) The kaliswyrm creates an extradimensional space for its lair, anchoring the entry to a stationary stone or earth surface at least 5 ft. in diameter. This entry resembles an amorphous, overly-dark shadow. Regardless of the anchor point, the lair is always an airless extradimensional pit 5 ft. in diameter and 10 ft. deep. A DC 12 Climb check is required to climb out of the lair.

    A kaliswyrm hunting from its lair gains a +2 Circumstance bonus to Stealth checks made to hide. During combat, a kaliswyrm concealing a portion of its body inside the lair gains the benefits of partial cover. Furthermore, it may drag a single creature of Medium size or smaller into the lair to suffocate.

    An abandoned lair vanishes in 1d6 days. Anything left inside appears on the ground where the lair was anchored.

    Nab (Ex) If a kaliswyrm hits with its bite attack, it deals normal damage and attempts to start a drag as a free action without provoking an attack of opportunity.
    The kaliswyrm receives a +4 bonus on combat maneuver checks made to start a drag.

    Poison (Su) Spit—contact; save Fort DC 13; frequency 1/round for 6 rounds; effect numbing, -2 penalty to Strength and Dexterity; cure 1 save.

    Spit Venom (Ex) As a standard action a kaliswyrm can spit venom up to 15 feet as a ranged touch attack.

    Descended from the outsider subjects of mysterious ancient experiments with draconic blood, kaliswyrms are now typically encountered in cities with connections to Thassilon such as Magnimar and Kaer Maga.

    A hunting kaliswyrm prefers to surprise its prey, striking and dragging it back into its lair to suffocate. It restrains its prey with vice-like mandibles and serpentine coils, sadistically relishing the final terrified struggles of its meal. If an enemy seems formidable the kaliswyrm spits a numbing toxin before engaging.

    Cunning nocturnal predators, kaliswyrms have a rudimentary understanding of humanoid language and habits. They prefer to lair in alleys among the detritus and refuse, satisfying their hunger and murderous urges on vagrants, prostitutes and thieves. Animals and vermin can satisfy a kaliswyrm's diet, but if forced to subsist only on beasts it will abandon its current lair for a better hunting ground. In some rare cases, a fortunate kaliswyrm will make an alliance with a gang or thieves guild, which will feed their enemies to the wyrm.

    Mostly loners, kaliswyrms seldom live near one another. Those few instances where a group of the creatures share a territory usually end in jealousy, violence and cannibalism.

    Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Locke1520

    1 person marked this as a favorite.

    Wow. I'm in.

    And so the roller coaster ride begins again...Congrats to the new and returning!

    Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Locke1520

    1 person marked this as a favorite.
    Zi'on Darkbane wrote:

    Nerd cred...

    This is something you work on??

    You mean you don't?

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