Winter Guard Falconer

Good Kjeldorn's page

54 posts. Alias of Kjeldorn.


1 to 50 of 54 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | next > last >>

Someone like Agnes of Waiblingen?
Or maybe Eleanor of Aquitaine
Or Sibylla of Jerusalem
There's just so many fair maidens in the lands of yester-years!

Woran wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
I was filling out a job application the other day and it said "Describe yourself in 3 words." I wrote "Well, for one thing, I'm great at following directions."
"will pet everything"

*Rolls on to his back presenting his belly, while panting and looking expectantly at Woran*

Evil Kjeldorn wrote:
Kjeldorn wrote:
Just a Mort wrote:
It's 79 F and I'm going to be freezing my fur off tonight =(
*Is fundamentally torn between his two natures*
She's nekkid! Quick grab a camera!

No you cretin! She's cold, drape her in a blanket!

Evil Kjeldorn wrote:
Just a Mort wrote:

I can see you guys chaining me in the kitchen and making me mass produce pizzas =(

Tsk Tsk kitty…

No one would ever chaining you to the kitchen to just slave away like that.
I mean, how would you be able to clean the rest of the house if you're chained to the kitchen!

Just a Mort wrote:
The bedpost? ;)

That's…An incredibly good try though

Still leaves me with a messy house, so no.

*Knocks Evil Alter-Ego over the head*

Mort kitty get to decide when, where and how she does or does not get chained up!

Also, get this place tidied looks like a hurricane passed through this house!

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Just a Mort wrote:

Gran, I wonder if it's because of the stigma of telling your colleagues you quit. I felt that kind of shame when I left teaching since it wasn't my kind of thing.

Then there was all those self esteem issues on how much I s*ck to be unable to hold on to a job etc.

And not S*ck in that sense, Freehold and Kjeldorn.

*Pick up Mort, gives her a snuggle and some scratchies between the ears*

Mort, Mort, Mort...
Do you really think I would stoop so low as to use you using the word s*ck as the basis for some kind of crude joke or comment!?
I wouldn't sully a serious and personal Kitty moment with such inappropriate frivolities!

2 people marked this as a favorite.

I just read through all the paladin blog comments.
Does that mean I get a cookie or something?

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Just a Mort wrote:

Oh - I just found out the blisters on my paws? Hand foot and mouth disease. I'm stuck at home for the week.

And here I thought I got some weird allergy etc.

And I had 2 parties planned =(

I've even been told to stay off food preparation >.<

When I started getting a bubble on my mouth and one on my left paw I started growing suspicious.

I mean if get blisters on my paws because I played too much badminton, yeah I get it, but on my left paw which I didn't even use? I smell a fish.

*Puts Kitty in a sick-room, with a lot of books, her lap-top and ample kitty snacks*

*Puts up extra hand-sanitizer dispensers*

*Gives BF a cleaning schedule, to ensure sick-room gets wiped down once a day. Also stress the importance of no kissy-kissy on any of kittys lips due to a higher chance of infection*

*Puts on apron, and goes into the kitchen to make some meals for the ravenous Kitty*

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Scintillae wrote:
Apes don't read philosophy.

Ugh! are we getting into that discussion again.

I've said it before, philosophy is perfectly approachable for the common man!

*Flips another page in Being and Time*

6 people marked this as a favorite.
Just a Mort wrote:

Happy Bdae NH's wife!

Kjeldorn - I know about Sir Francis Drake. And I am ashamed to admit now but when I played colonization that I did enjoy whacking Spanish Galleons with French Privateers for phat lewt. So yes, I have participated in piracy. In my defense I'll say I was underaged - what were you expecting out of a 10 year old kitten?

*Puts on judges wig and pick up his gavle*

"Bring in the Kitty ...eerrr... accused bailiff"

[J. A. Mort appears in court]


*looks at the documents in front of him*

" I to understand that you want to plea guilt to serveral counts of privacy? and that your defense is that you were underaged?

*Looks into several law tomes and begins conducting a series of arcane "law-tests": places kitty on a chair to see if her leges touches the ground, placing her on a scale to see if she weighs more or less then a duck, calling in four of her peers to swear that she has indeed been a "a kitty of good character" and finally letting her duel with the court champion*

*Looks over results*

Seems legit, case dismissed!

*Bangs gavel*

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Freehold DM wrote:
What are lizard s*ckers?

I think Kitty was wondering about these.

Then again she's already equipped with claws ^^

1 person marked this as a favorite.
gran rey de los mono wrote:
What's the difference between erotic and kinky? Erotic is using a feather. Kinky is using the whole chicken.



Is that what I've been doing wrong all these years? Using a cock instead of a hen?

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Just a Mort wrote:
Kjeldorn wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:

So, the play test forums are exactly as over the top reactionary as I expected.

I can't wait until the actual play test comes out.

Don't know... ^^'

There something mesmerizing about the sheer belly-aching, inflated egos, vigorous finger-wagging, glaring entitlement, haughty patronising, feeble pleading, snobbish derision, constant teeth-grinding and passive-aggressive sniping of the Play-test forums (ie the perpetual noise-machine).

It's basically a micro-cosmos of the everyday world of conflicting desires, opinions and, dare I say, political philosophies.

Now who woulda thunk that :P

I think those threads require HAZMAT suits.

Come, let's sit down at the end of an age, and have a drink as the world that we know fades into the mists of antiquity.

*pulls out a Bordeaux*

Now you're talking Kitty!

I would never turn down a nice glass of wine, in such divine feline company :P

*Sits down, pours a glass of wine. Fluffs Mort's fur and gives a lot of scratches*

I'll have to find a beverage fit for a Kitty to pay you back some day, but for now let's enjoy each others company and the "lightshow" from the forums.

4 people marked this as a favorite.
lynora wrote:

Why am I up at this ungodly hour?

Because food poisoning, that’s why.
Nothing like having stuff coming out both ends at once.
Thank goodness. I don’t think I could take it if there were a lot of things this unpleasant.

*Knocks politely on the bathroom door and a leaves a package with a roll of his emergency "Silky-butt" 6-layer silk-paper toilet paper, a small box of mints, a few old comics and a get-well card with some silly "hope it passes through quickly" joke*

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Just a Mort wrote:
Evil Kjeldorn wrote:
Just a Mort wrote:
Let them hit every bar!.




*Puts Kitty in a bag*



*gives evil Kjeldorn puppy eyes*

Puts me outs of bags pls?


That's so cute!

*Lets Mort out of the bag, gives her a small plate with a couple of spoonfuls of Crème fraîche on it*

2 people marked this as a favorite.
lynora wrote:

I am having one of those days. The filters on this site do not allow me to express what kind of day I am having because it is the kind of description best narrated by Samuel L Jackson. And this is a PG-13 site.

*sigh* I know intellectually that it could have been worse, because most of it is almost disasters. I almost fell when I blacked out in the bathroom this morning, but caught myself in time. The house almost caught fire, but a fritzing smoke detector had me standing a few feet away from the space heater when it started to smoke. I almost had a hot griddle flip over onto me, but caught it and instead only have a burned thumb. But it's a lot of almost for one day, so whoever is trying to curse me, could you just cut it out already? Seriously, I get the message, thanks. ;P

Oh, and just to add insult to injury, it's the thumb I use for unlocking my phone. >.<

Belated late offer of hugs, hot beverages and cotton/bubble-wrap wrapping to protect against future accidents.

2 people marked this as a favorite.

*Wraps husband in bubble wrap and cotton to prevent bumpy floor-sleep, and offers a hot cup of coffee (First Order trooper mug included) to Lyn*

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Happy B-day, Teensy V!

...And my Paladin of Abadar/Erastil/Ragathiel..., beheads thieves and hangs rustlers!



Am I doing it right?

Evil Kjeldorn wrote:
Because there's a lot to hate?

*Narrows eyes suspiciously*

Graelsis wrote:

Ok, now i'm talking serious, because it seems that nobody cared about what i said because of the comic tone i used.

You really have a big problem here. Your problem is that you are being evil with evil creatures. I will write it again, you are being EVIL with evil creatures.

Even if your enemy is a monster and you want to be good aligned or, at least, dont act like an evildoer would do, you must keep on the good side of the history here.
There's no excuse to someone that takes prissioners and sly them while they are defenseless, even if they are assasins, its not your job to judge them if you are not playing that kind of scenario.

I'm talking about good aligned players here, i dont care about your neutral wizard, for me it seems that he's just a neutral evil disguised player. "Kill that vermin while they cant defend themselfs" yeah, that sound evil enough for me.

What i'm saying is that the alignement of your enemy doesnt matter when you are talking about doing something good or bad, if you kill a murderer, you are still killing, and if you are doing it for a greater good, you are a murderer for a greater good. That goblin could be good aligned and nothing would change the fact that they raided a town, right? well, the same applys for you.

It really pissed me of when my players act like this and pretend they are the good people of the history. Heroes are made by sacrifice, just as batman oath to avoid killing, even if that keeps him fighting over and over, or captain america when he had to turn into an outlaw because he believed his friend was innocent. Heroes do whatever is correct, whatever is good, whatever is need to be done because is the right thingn to do, even if that cost them to take some goblins to justice, or to believe they can redeem themselves and turn into usefull folks.

If you are not willing to do that sacrife, or you decide to take the easiest path just because its easier and you dont believe in changing, then you are not the hero of this history, and you dont need...

*Wipes a tear from the corner of his eyes*

"Wow, just wow"

"Lets cheer this year's winner of - Paladin of the Year - Graelsis!"

*Claps enthusiastically, while a couple of gorgeous looking Calistrian courtesans crowns Graelsis, with a fancy tiara and a sash with "Paladin of the year" printed on it*

"Lets give one last cheer, before we move on to the next category - Worst Paladin of the Year!"


"And the Nominees are: Ragathiel!"
"And that is all..."

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Kill the baby!!!

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Evil Kjeldorn wrote:
Lady Ladile wrote:

^I'd love to hear what she comes up with! Here's a picture of her, for reference :)

So far I've gotten a few food suggestions (Oreo, Cookie, Cream, Milkshake), Chairman Meow, YinYang, Scarface, 'name her after a valkyrie 'cause she's got a scar on her nose', Catarina, and Eclipse.

Pfff...that's no name for a cat!

Now Meowssolini...

*Bonks his Evil alias on the head*

Now, lets not burden a future beloved pet with such a name...

Valkyrie names that might fit - Kára (wild one), Róta (sleet storm), Hildr (fight or battle) or Skuld (often means debt).

Evil Kjeldorn wrote:

Make Ragathiel fall eh?


No need! Given his current trajectory, he'll make a fine Horseman of War in a millennium or two!

*Grins menacingly*

*Looks a bit nervous*

You know what?

For once you might be right...

*Plans to stage Anger Management intervention for Ragathiel*

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Hey hey! No one here is demanding anyone to do anything...
It's just a little disagreement, which happens all the time with this alignment stuff. Probably because alignments are kind of hard to figur out, and the Gods aren't really helping on this front...

I mean, just look at the fact that it's a possibility for your average Calistria worshipping Anti-paladin to end up in Elysium upon death! Talk about a win-win(-win) scenario!
So if your a follower the Savored Sting, break out the cream sauce and dig in to those hearts, cause you're going to "heaven" every which way things pan out!*

Kind of makes you wonder if you made the right choice, when filling out that follower of a deity or universal philosophical concept (ie alignment) form, that Pharasma receives...

* I would just like to point out that I can't stand the taste, texture or smell of hearts, doesn't mean I wouldn't take a bite if the stakes where high enough though...

*Walks into thread*


Pandemonium, I tell you.


*walks out of thread*

1 person marked this as a favorite.

*Hugs the Cap, because he seems to need a person that isn't going to judge him, solely on some silly difference of opinion, on the way a certain company is managing its products*

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Dog that learned 100 Words wrote:
starts humping Kjeldorn's leg instead.


*Uses plant-mister so much on Dog, that the thread is covered in Obscuring Mist*

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Dog that learned 100 Words wrote:
Limeylongears wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:
Captain Kiani the Blue wrote:
Yes! No Grave but the Sea (Alestorm) is out!! Grrreat!

Just arrived Wednesday and Impus Major (of course) had to put on, "No Grave but the Sea for Dogs".

Which is an even better album, because it contains an "explicit lyrics" warning.

Darn those dirty dogs!

(For those who don't know, as a joke, Alestorm put out "No Grave but the Sea" as a two-CD set: One CD is the album, and the other CD is the "for dogs" version where all lyrics have been replaced by dogs barking. So somehow, some of those dog barks contain 'explicit lyrics'. No, I cannot explain.)

Have you tried playing it to a dog?

F*@*ing A man, that's some f&&*ed up s@$#! G~%%!+n f@%!ing A! where did those a+%$#$!s learn to motherf#$$ing bark like that.

Edit: F@&~ yeah! Naked dog b!%$*es, and there isn't a g+&*~!n f@&+ing thing you can do about it!

Begins humping the throw pillows on the FaWtL couch.

*Squirts on Dog that learned 100 Words with a plant-mister*

Bad Dog! Those pillows where a gift!

3 people marked this as a favorite.

Kawaii mamba desu?!

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Kileanna wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
Kileanna wrote:
People get too easily embarrased, I tell you. What is so wrong with our bodies that showing them is seen as immoral?
I hereby vote for naked kileanna all the time!
Summer is coming. Nothing is going to stop me from being naked while at home.

I have received a vision!

A vision of paradise!

It lei'th in Galicia!

A pilgrimage we must found!

To this blessed place we must go!

To bask in the glory of the divine!

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Evil Kjeldorn wrote:
gran rey de los mono wrote:
Evil Kjeldorn wrote:
Yay!!! Puns are like a scratchy mosquito bite!
Meaning you want more of them?
They are annoying, tends to get worse the long "work" with them (and in my case appears, after a nights sleep).

*Slaps Evil Kjeldorn on the back of his head*

Stop it!, an artist need an audience to practise his art on!

Proceed citizen Rey!

3 people marked this as a favorite.

*Covers the view, in front of john, with a large piece of cloth*

Nothing to see here! Move along!

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Kajehase wrote:
Kjeldorn wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:
I thought Swedish music sounded like Ace Of Base.

Let me tell you a secret...most of it did ^^.

*Looks around, expecting to see Sissyl or Kajehase jumping out of the shadows to bludgeon him to death*

Ah-hah-hah-hah! Oh no. That would be far too nice. No, I think we'll just invite you to our nice little room with the padded walls and the non-stop *Danish* music.

*Hangs his head in shame*

It's true...
The 90's where the glory days of slightly insensitive Danish concept bands.

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Evil Kjeldorn wrote:
Kileanna wrote:

I never gave it a lot of importance. But, come on! A parasitic worm? Not the best thing one could be...

I had to deal with the human version of them in my job.

*Steeps onto the thread to tell a joke about women and parasites*

*Steeps onto the thread, and drags Evil Kjeldorn off, to be put back into the "Shame-box"*

2 people marked this as a favorite.


*Looks up*

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Limeylongears wrote:
Kileanna wrote:
Kileanna wrote:
I keep writing thongs instead of things aaaall the time. I wonder what would a psychoanalyst said about that.

And now I've read «Lingery smite» instead of «Lingering smite».

I don't know what's happening to me today but I blame Freehold for no reason.

Incidentally, is this smiting in lingerie, smiting with lingerie or smiting lingerie itself?

I feel it's important that we know.

smiting in lingerie gets Kjeldorns seal of approval.

smiting lingerie itself gets Kjeldorns seal of approval (as long as said wearer of the lingerie remains un-smitten/smotten).

smiting with lingerie gets Kjeldorns seal of approval (as long as said target of lingerie-smiting would look good is said lingerie).

Approval all around, am I not merciful?

Cutie from my past, who has lost her glasses and smeared lipstick on her cheeks.

Tasha the half-kender wrote:
We were talking about frustrating characters and ended talking about kenders... Just saying.

This little cutie can pick my pockets any day ^^.

*Pats Tasha on the head*

Wait, where did my signet-ring go...

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Kileanna wrote:

I don't know a lot of jokes in English, bur I had an English teacher who loved this one:

My neighbor is a mortician. I've never liked the way he says to me «good mourning».

*Run up to kileanna and clutches her skirt*

Auntie Kile!, Auntie Kile! The other kids in the thread are making pun of me!

1 person marked this as a favorite.
lynora wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:
lynora wrote:
Tacticslion wrote:
John Napier 698 wrote:
captain yesterday wrote:

"I thought you were going to make pies today" - Pea Bear, on the way home from getting Jurassic Park.

Captain Yesterday's eye twitches, ever so slightly.

Get her to help you. I began learning to cook at her age.

On the other hand, despite having a mother that did so constantly, I never did!

... I've come to terms with that, now.


My mother was an all around a truly terrible cook. I started learning to cook when I was a child out of sheer self-defense. It was the only way. :)

I've been trying to teach the kidlet, and he's picked up on some stuff, but he makes slow progress because he doesn't have that same feeling of needing to do it.

OMG! Kindred spirits! That is EXACTLY the line I use when people ask me when/how I learned to cook! Woo hoo for terribly-cooking mothers! :-D

(And don't get me started on the commercials that say, "Just like your mom used to make" that send me into giggle fits...)

OMG! Yes! Those commercials are hilarious! "Just like mom used to make", and I'm like does that mean dry and crumbly beyond any pretense at edibility or boiled into shoe leather consistency?! Or is this the mushy and watery like baby food version? So many options for how it could be bad... ;P

My mother is a saint and cooks like an angel ^^ .

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Tacticslion wrote:
Eldest is about to do his violin concert!

*Channels positive thoughts and feelings to help out at the concert*

1 person marked this as a favorite.

*Readies syringe full of horse tranquilizer, in case Cap blows a gasket*

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Sissyl wrote:
At least a twosie. :)

*Come out of the changing room, showing of a particularly flappy and hairy bare midriff*

Maybe that onesie was a far better idea...


Just google a twosie...why?!

on the other hand, you up for it Sissyl? ^^

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Sir Limey De Longears wrote:
Kileanna wrote:

Oooooh! Are you going to start a fight over me?

This is new, usually fights start for something I said and shouldn't have said, not for me xD

Hark! An Duel!

{Draws circle. Provides a delightful selection of implements of death and destruction doing between 1d4 and 1d12 damage, plus Str bonus}

Oho, Skintight onesies and duelling shields, forsooth?

And ye olde nightie and thong combo ys not an optionne, unlesse you want us all to be put in ye stocks.

Me in a onesie! Are you mad sir!!!

1 person marked this as a favorite.
GoatToucher wrote:
Good Kjeldorn wrote:

Stop right there criminal scum!!!

You're adorable.

*Pales considerable*

2 people marked this as a favorite.

*Is about to sing, but is interrupted by his growling stomach*

I'll be going shopping, so the battle is postponed ^^

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Freehold DM wrote:
Kileanna wrote:

I'm half done in drawing my RoW party!


Only left:

I don't know how can I do to upload them in higher quality and put them together without a PC at homethe, but at least I like how they are coming out!

clicks on links

reads name of artist
marries kileanna when she isn't looking

That said, Vice is my all time favorite king of fighters female character, although her most damaging super will break the controller every time. Second place goes to Mature. Third goes to Shermie. Yes, they were my team in KOF 98.


*Put on his finest courtiers outfit, pick up his lute and clears his throat*

Sirs, I'll meet thee on the battlefield of courtly love, for the heart of fair maid Kileanna

GoatToucher wrote:

Ah, leaving people penniless and naked in the street when you're done with them. That takes me back.

About an hour.

Stop right there criminal scum!!!

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Sir! Language please!

What! I would never do anything like that!

1 to 50 of 54 << first < prev | 1 | 2 | next > last >>