Glorbax, Space Entrepreneur's page

Verzen wrote:

Aaron Shanks wrote:

The words "Lantondo"and "harrower" do not appear in Secrets of Magic. The word harrow does.

Ohhh.. Anti-spoilers...

I got some of those! For example:

The location of the planet Kamino does not appear in the book.

Impossible! Perhaps the archives are incomplete?

Do you have any experience in... erm... market research?

How much are you willing to pay for one that is?

Oh crap, he knows the secret!

I mean... uh...

Lies! Lies and slander!

Space butter! I’ve got space butter for sale!

It’s like regular butter, but it’s from space!

After I bought Roger the Shrubber’s business, my monopoly on this market is absolute!

The next poster has just proved that gravity is an illusion.

And they’re yours for the low low price of 15 quantum gemeralds a tube!

The next poster has an uncontrollable spending habit.

Amaltopek wrote:

baggageboy wrote:

Gold plated starships, just cause

Gold is too soft to work well as starship plating. It'll look incredibly pockmarked after just a couple of days in normal space, and who knows what it'll look like after a week in the Drift.

Infusing gold in space-grade paint is much better-looking and more practical.

Starships made of gold, with a clear protective coating. [Practical? No. Awesome? I think so.]

I’d recommend Technomantic Hyper-Gold myself. And not just because I’m heavily invested in the company that makes it.

Welp, sucks that your warranty expired on that thing!

I got a beardalyzer for sale. Real good price, only slightly-used!

I’m on the border... OF INSANELY LOW PRICES!!! BUY BUY BUY BEFORE THEY SHIP ME OFF TO PLANET MENTAL INSTITUTE!!!

The next poster also has a bargain.

Just in! From the makers of Glagnar’s Human Rinds, Glagnar’s Halfling Chips!

“They’re a muncha buncha cruncha hobbits!”

Like purple androids?
Come on down to Discount Dans!
Robots are half-off!

I'm Hiding In Your Closet's new closet-based marketing strategy wowed the board of investors, and so on up he went.

I'll say!

You want some brain fertilizer? Will make those zombie spores you just planted grow twice as fast!

How much are you willing to pay for it?

Gotta justify the outrageous prices of my products somehow!

I can get you all of those things you mentioned, for an affordable price!

One small caveat: they'll all be manufactured on Floop-Doopula VI. That's not a problem, is it?

I got some "Dust of the Space Grave" cologne in stock, if you want some. The space vampires will be all up-ons!

I got a bunch of empty space for sale where my ship used to be, if you're interested.

Who ordered the bucket of splax spleens?

Which of these is you favorite flavor: bland, beige, or taupe?

Would my all purpose Health-Simulating Paste be an acceptable substitute?

Right! One... two... five!

Three, Sire!

Come on down to Glorbax's Used Cybernetics! You want a robot part to stick on your body? We got them! Come and cybernetic-icize your life today!

Glorbax's Used Cybernetics takes no responsibility for the actual usefulness of any cybernetic part sold.

Hm. Would it count as a sweat shop if the workers don't sweat?

How about plod shops?

** spoiler omitted **

You didn't hear it from me, but the only way some of the Bone Sages feel joy anymore is to watch living people toil away in factories.

Come on down to Glorbax's Crystal Cove! We have all the crystals you need to channel the mystic forces of the universe, manufactured in Eoxian sweat shops handcrafted by ysoki artisans! 50% until the end of the current solar cycle!