Wait we're prisoners now?
We are all just prisoners here...
...of our own device.
And the less said about your devices, the better.
Very little is ever said about them.
It's mostly just soft weeping in the dark.
*eats celebratory peanut-butter-and-persimmon sandwich, prods GoatToucher and Pulg with tickle-stick*
We may or may not be prisoners here. Whatever the case, I will stand here and say: "I am standing at this location!"
Good to see everybody still here... Winning.
Or was it whining? It's hard to tell the difference sometimes.
*Ugly Green Foot*
You know I have never heard hotel california come on the radio and been like "Eh I've heard this to many times" I just never get sick of that song.
You've obviously never heard Alanis Morisette's dubstep version, then.
I have not true. also nice subtle take back of the win.
Screw you guys. I'm going home.
Well can't argue with that.
Could you argue with a nice shave, Mr. Vid...? *brandishes wicked black razor*
Plenty have tried but it grows back so fast.
That's your own fault, buying that Beardgrowth-2017 tonic.
Which YOU sold to him over 10 billion years ago.
At least comb the food out. *brandishes a black comb.*
It's hard to tell where the beard begins and the food ends.
I have that problem too.
I got a beardalyzer for sale. Real good price, only slightly-used!
Does a beardalyzer remove or grow hair?
I should think it either scans it or holds it still.
Why would I need my beard scanned? held still? I could just get hair spray I supose.
A Beardalyzer turns anything its ray touches into a beard. I was struck by one shortly after being born.
Wow that makes so much sense. I must have been grazed by one myself at a young age.
And yet, I've been hit by that thing several times over the last decade and I've never grown a beard.
*Inspects the fine print on the device.*
"Does not work on dwarves, elves, halflings or undead/ magical creatures". Well that explains a lot.
Fires the beardalyzer at the closet clown.
*entire face disappears, is replaced by mass of long, flailing, multicolored cephalopoid tentacles*
Welp, sucks that your warranty expired on that thing!
i give zerro strars for costumer survus wil not shop agen.
I kind of expected the clown might have a relative that was a great old one.
*flails tentacle-face around in search of...SOMETHING...or SOMEONE....*
I think goatthoucher might be around somewhere maybe start their?
*tentacle-face abruptly implodes/retracts like a poked sea anemone*
I'm sure GT gets that a lot.
*can't see shit, flails around randomly...*
4: The Fiend
6: The Count
7: The Win
12: someone who hasn't posted in years
13: roll 1d12 1d4 more times, rerolling repeats
and gets...: 1d13 ⇒ 1
THATS.. Yeah that is my luck. Sigh... devour away....
*takes out popcorn bucket and soda*
Ouch. apparently that head gear did not come with a soul...
And that surprises you? All the sunshine-farting unicorns it is decorated with suggest a soul, eh?
Tell me Clarice... has the thread stopped screaming?
no I think if anything their is only more screaming.
Oh. My bad. Well, carry on. I'll just be eating people and occasionally wearing their faces. But I like classical music so you know I'm smart.
;) we have that in common. well not so much the wearing their faces part. Who would want to hide this handsome kobold face?
*emanates cacophony of Beethoven, Bartok, Holst, Stravinsky, Prokofiev, Saint-Saëns, and Mussorgsky*
Can someone give him a shave already?
*zaps IHIYC with a debeardinator*
*powers up the debeardinator for a second go if necessary*
*dutifully records unfolding events with a mixture of fascination and horror*
It is quite the spectacle going on here, not even the swirling vortexes that is the warp can compete with all the chaotic activity this thread has produced.